The Devil's Been Busy

by J. D. Blackrose

  The Buddha closed its jade eyes, and that’s when I realized I’d gotten all the information I was going to get. I went back in the house and slipped on a knee brace, took two Tylenols, and went back outside, motioning to Blaze to follow. At least I knew it was something unnatural. That eliminated the need to call the police.

  I turned as two wailing police cars hurtled down the street and stopped in front of Judy’s house. Officer Bob and Captain Morgan exited their vehicles and gave me sharp nods as I approached. Captain Morgan started right off.

  “Mrs. Friedman, tell me the truth, is this a human problem or your kind of problem?”

  My mouth was dry. “It’s my kind of problem.”

  Captain Morgan replied, “Well, then. You take point. I want this child found, and I want him found fast. Tell us what you need.” Officer Bob already had a pencil.

  I walked around the house to the back where Joseph’s window remained open. I searched around the area with my eyes, noticing that there were no ladder marks or footsteps on the ground. The grass, which had not been mowed in a while, was untouched. I called out to Blaze and asked him to come with Shura and give a look.

  “I could use a ladder, a baggie, and a knife. I don’t see any signs of feet, hooves, or paws. It makes me think whatever it was can fly, and that narrows things down a bit.”

  Officer Bob didn’t even ask me why I needed those things. He just hurried down to his car and got on the radio.

  “Captain Morgan, do you agree with my assessment?”

  He nodded. “I do, and if it was human, there would be ladder impressions. When you get up there, you can double-check to see if there are any signs of a ladder being leaned on the sill, but no, there really isn’t anything here to indicate how the person, thing, whatever, got up there.”

  Blaze flew in, and Shura loped up the driveway to the back. Captain Morgan jumped back in shock, his eyes wide, with a hand on his gun. “What the hell bird is that?”

  “Stand down, Captain! These are my colleagues.”

  Captain Morgan had proven himself resilient before, and I was hoping he would be again. I was surprised that he could see Blaze through the pony glamour.

  “Blaze is a phoenix, Captain,” I said, in hushed tones. “You are seeing him in his true form, but everyone else sees a rescue pony.”

  “Who’s ever heard of a rescue pony in Northeast Ohio?” he asked.

  “No one, ever, but that’s the story, and we’re sticking to it.”

  “Is that the wolf from the zoo? I didn’t get a good look in the mall, but I knew there was no way that animal was a dog.” Captain Morgan turned to me, an accusing look on his face.

  “Yes.” I held up my hands to stop his next comment. “I did not steal her. She came here on her own to protect my pack—my family. She sensed danger to us.”

  “So, the phoenix is a rescue pony, and the wolf is a scent dog?”

  I patted him on the back. “Now you get the picture.”

  Officer Bob hurried with the things I needed and also handed me a windbreaker that said “Consultant” on it. “Wear it,” he said. “We’ll figure out how to rationalize this later.” He quickly turned and left, a dedicated man doing his job.

  A fire truck roared down the street and stopped in front of the house. By this time, families had gathered on the sidewalk. Officer Bob and another cop were keeping the neighbors busy by interviewing each of them, one-by-one. I watched as David slipped by all of them, in a sneaky way that made me proud. I bent to hug him.

  “David, I will get your friend back.”

  His little face was pinched and worried, and it just about killed me. “I know, Mom. I’ve told everyone that you will find him and that it will all be okay.”

  My heart broke a little.

  He held out his new pocketknife. “The police officer said you needed a knife. Here’s mine. If it can help you find Joseph, I’d like you to use it.”

  I took the knife with both of my hands and looked my son in the eye. “Thank you, Daniel. This is just what I needed.” I gave him a kiss on his forehead and whispered, “I love you. Go be with Daddy so I can find Joseph, okay?”

  He nodded, his face a little less stressed now that he’d done something to help.

  The firefighters humped up the driveway with a ladder.

  “Captain, where do you need this?” asked the hunk of a fireman who led the way. I forced myself not to stare, but those green eyes were just too much.

  I smacked my head.

  Green eyes. Dammit. I thought of who it might be. I hated those things. I made a “hold on” motion with my finger and sprinted, or, more accurately, hobbled in a speedy manner, to my house to get an ultraviolet light I kept in my supplies.

  Hunky fireman held the ladder while I climbed up. We’d had a brief exchange where he wanted to be the one to ascend the ladder, but Captain Morgan pointed at my windbreaker and explained that I had a particular expertise.

  The fireman shrugged, which was okay with me because it emphasized his pecs. “Okay, Captain. I believe you seeing as she’s got a search dog and a rescue pony. Never heard of a rescue horse outside of Colorado, but it’s a good idea with all the nature trails we have here. Have to think about that more. Any way to train the mounted police?”

  Captain Morgan made a noncommittal sound, and I turned my back and climbed the ladder. The top seemed untouched except for one thing. It was cold. The window sill itself was cold to the touch, despite the heat of the sun. The damn thing had been touched by Darkness. Biting my lip and hoping against hope, I held the UV light out to the sill.

  Pointy fingerprints popped into view, almost as if the fingers were triangles at the tip, rather than ovals, which would be accurate because the thing that had taken Joseph had just that type of hand shape. I used the knife to scrape a few slivers of the windowsill wood into the baggie.

  Blaze hung around the bottom of the ladder. What is it?

  “Black elf.”

  Nasty buggers. Handle with care. Shadow Court.

  “You’re familiar with them?”

  Unfortunately. This one flew to get the child.

  “Right. Meaning it’s female.”

  The females are larger.

  I sighed. “I know.”

  And they spit poison.

  I sighed again, my mouth grim. “I know that too.”

  And you must watch for the…

  “…tail. I know.”

  Shura padded over to us and said something to Blaze.

  “What did she ask?”

  If it would succumb to killing teeth.

  “What did you tell her?”

  Yes, but it might not taste good. She said mannequins taste bad too.

  I wiped my hands on my shorts. The only reason a black elf would take this child was to sell him to the fae, or to draw me out. I was betting on the latter, given that the fae usually liked their children younger, and there was a bounty on my head.

  Captain Morgan walked over, popping antacids. “So, what did you learn?”

  “Good news, I know what it is. Also, good news, it’s not after Joseph but me, so it wants me to hunt it.”

  “What’s the bad news?”

  “Black elves are vile creatures. This is a female, which means she’s about the size of Blaze, can fly, and spits poison. Oh, and her tail is as sharp as any sword.”

  Morgan didn’t seem too fazed by all of that. He must have figured, rightly, that those things were my problem.

  “Why didn’t it come after you directly?”

  “Not their way. A black elf would think this a laugh riot. All the pain, tears, and fear. Like chocolate to them.”

  “I hate them already,” Morgan replied, jabbing another antacid in his mouth. “How do we find it?”

  “We don’t. Blaze, Shura and I will hunt her. She wants to capture me or kill me, so she shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

  “You don’t get to lock me out of hunting a child kidnapper.”

 
“If it was a normal piece of human garbage, I’d stand back and let you take the lead, but this isn’t the case.”

  He paced in a circle muttering to himself for about ten seconds. “Why does it want to capture or kill you?”

  “She, not it. I was told by an evil clown that there’s a bounty on my head, right after I got stung by a chihuahua-sized hornet he’d created out of balloons.”

  Morgan stared at me. “You mean that literally.”

  I thought for a moment. “Yeah, I do. Every word.”

  He blinked a few times but acclimated quickly. “What do you need from me?”

  “Get everyone out of here. Take them all to the police station or something. Gather them at a neighbor’s house and keep them inside. Whatever. I’m going to start the hunt now, in daytime. At night, she’ll be a shadow and able to hide anywhere.”

  Captain Morgan gave me a little salute, pivoted on his heel, and headed down the driveway to do cop things and make it sound like everything was in hand.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I gave Shura the windowsill shards to smell, and the second she did so, she sneezed violently, followed by a serious shake of her head.

  She says that stinks of evil.

  “She’s right on that score. I need one more thing from the house and then I’m ready.”

  Where do we start?

  “There’s only one place a dark elf would hide during the day—the woods.”

  Blaze gazed in the direction of the walking park where lovely, kind people walked their lovely, friendly dogs and enjoyed tai chi, roller blading, and biking. Oh, dear.

  “Yup.”

  On the way to my house, I asked Captain Morgan if he could get the Beachwood police to evacuate the walking park and immediate area. The captain gritted his teeth but said he’d try. “I’m a little out of my jurisdiction, you know, but I heard the call and recognized the neighborhood as yours, so Bob and I drove to the scene. Shaker police are caught up in a fire and were grateful for the help. I’ll see what Beachwood says. Gary’s a good guy. He’ll assist, but he’ll want in.”

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

  I gave all the kids quick hugs and smiles, promising them everything would be okay. Nathaniel handed me the Buddha, who’d shrunk again. I placed him in an old fanny pack from the 1980s, grabbed two bottles from the laundry room, tucked them into the fanny pack belt, and headed out. The only other thing I had was David’s knife. I hopped back to Joseph’s house, jerked my head at Blaze and Shura, and hoofed it to the park. I looked like some crazed weird western character with spray bottles instead of guns.

  Captain Gary and his men were there when we arrived.

  “Ma’am, Captain Morgan told me you have special skills and that’s why you’re taking point on this. It is against every tenet of police procedure, but I trust Morgan.”

  “Thanks, Captain, I appreciate…”

  He held up a hand. “But, you will be accompanied by two of my officers and our bloodhound.” He gestured toward two officers who came forward, pulling along a bloodhound with the longest ears I’d ever seen. I bent to pet the dog, who gave me a sniff. I opened the bag for him to get the scent.

  The dog fainted.

  Ever see a bloodhound faint? Me neither, but it wasn’t the sight of the dog fainting that did me in. It was the sound. The poor thing hit the ground with a thwack. I mean, bloodhounds are big, and gravity isn’t kind.

  Shura came forward as the officer, K9 Officer Alison MacKenzie, knelt in panic to help the dog, whose name was Loki.

  “I think I’ll use my dog,” I said, as Captain Gary and Officer MacKenzie gave Loki some water. The dog opened his eyes, took one look at Shura, and closed them again. The Captain and Officer MacKenzie looked lost.

  We left them where they were and Shura, Blaze, and I headed off. We walked the paved path of the near side, once around, and got nothing. We crossed Richmond to the far side and followed the loop. Blaze took to the air, becoming a blur, and Shura and I moved on. We didn’t hide; it made no sense to, but we were silent as we kept our eyes and ears sharp.

  We were at the farthest end of the park, near the overpass, when we heard it. A sibilant, liquid vibration, like a snake through a mossy bank.

  “Youssss found me.”

  “Give it up with the Sméagol imitation and give me the child. He’s nothing to you. You want my head.”

  “I could have both,” came the whisper. The sound came from the center section, which was wooded, and seemed to be moving, the trees shifting as we walked. I signaled Shura to enter, while Blaze circled with me. Shura lowered her head and padded in on soft paws, eyes fierce, claws ready, a mother searching for a pup.

  “I’ve enjoyed this game, Monster Hunter. The parents’ panic wassss…delicioussss.”

  “You are contemptible.”

  A wheezy laugh wafted by.

  “I am Black to White. I am Darknesssss to Light. You can no more do without me than you can do without Goodness. My despicable existence is the only thing that keepsss people like you alive. That’ssss the sssecret no one tellsss you in monster training ssschool, you miserable, pathetic, feeble disgraccce for a Hunter.”

  Blaze snapped at the air next to him, and I rotated in time to see a faint gray wisp of smoke breeze by, but this was like no smoke I’d ever seen. It left a gash in Blaze’s bronze armor that sizzled like oil on a hotplate.

  The smoke appeared again, this time whistling by me. I was ready for such an attack and grabbed one of the spray bottles I’d latched to my fanny pack, twisting the top to open and spraying the air.

  I was too slow, and the droplets fell harmlessly to the ground.

  “The child is ssssleeping. Your wolf has found him, but she can’t wake him up. I’m the only one that can.”

  I doubted that. Blaze could do amazing things, and I held onto that hope. Raising my spray bottles in the air, I said, “How do you want to handle this?”

  “Come into the woodsss, into the shadow of the trees. Once I have you, I’ll wake the child.”

  I pretended to consider this. “First of all, no. Second of all, no. You think I’m stupid enough to give myself to you before the child is safe? By the way, how much is that bounty?”

  “Two million, three hundred thousand, forty-two dollarssss and seventy-six cccents.”

  “Wait a minute.” I moved my spray bottles to my hips, like six-shooters in a duel. “What? That’s an odd number. Although it’s more than I thought. I’m flattered.”

  Without an ounce of snark, the voice said, “You sssshould be. It’sss the highest bounty in a while.”

  “But why the bizarre number?”

  “It’ssss not in casssh. It’sss the estimated worth of a ruby.”

  “A ruby.”

  Blaze circled his wing in a way that indicated that I should keep the elf talking. He looped around to the back.

  “Yessss…a ruby that used to be in the crown of the King of Franccce, Louissss fourteen.”

  “It’s pronounced Louie; the ‘s’ is silent. Didn’t you learn anything in history class?”

  My attempt at a distracting monologue was a failure. The asshole Shadow Court fae didn’t respond to my remark, and the air grew tight around me.

  Clouds drifted in, shadowing the blue sky and the ground. I huffed as the oxygen grew faint, as if I was climbing a mountain, and I grew dizzy, gasping for air.

  A creature leapt out of the trees, more solid than the wisp version from earlier. This elf was taller and skinnier than some I’d seen, with midnight black skin, green eyes, and a tail as long and lethal as a whip. She flicked her tail, and I crouched, duck-walking backward, tossing off the blanket of lethargy and heaving it aside. I sprayed my laundry spot remover with my right hand and a bottle of mold-and-mildew cleanser with my left.

  The chemicals, particularly the bleach cleanser, crackled as they hit the elf’s skin, leaving tiny dots of white on the elf’s torso. This elf’s ponderous breasts got the
bulk of it, and she screamed at me, opening her jaws and spitting venom while her long dark hair levitated, creating a creepy, static shock halo around her.

  I backed up, step-by-step, aiming for her eyes, but losing ground because her venom strikes were scary as hell, and she spit with pinpoint accuracy, so my back-peddling was pulling me farther away and my aim was off.

  Blaze spoke in my head. We have the child.

  “Can you wake him?

  “I can, but I won’t until I have you tied up safe and sound,” said the elf, tail whipping over her head, claws out.

  “Not you, moron.”

  I think so.

  “Great. Get him out of here and let me take care of this speck, this blemish, this blotch on the paranormal community.” I was taunting the elf to keep her focus on me so Shura and Blaze could rescue Joseph. My words must have hit a nerve because the elf’s eyes opened wide with anger. She rolled her neck and raised her wings in a good imitation of a pissed off dragon.

  Blaze had a question. Is that why you’re using laundry stain remover?

  “You have to believe.”

  I don’t understand how magic works.

  “Which is weird because you are magic. Now, scat.”

  Scatting.

  Blaze had Joseph draped over his back and ran as fast as the wind. As he skedaddled, I threw my fist in the air and let out a loud, “Meep, meep!”

  It was a moment of triumph and levity, but that was all it was—a moment. It was past noon, and with each passing minute, the elf would get stronger and I more tired. Now that Joseph was safe, I had to act fast.

  I turned tail and fled. No shame in running., or given my knee, doing a speedy, step, hop, skip, wince pattern that still got me out of there as fast as I could.

  The elf pursued, taking to the air. She dove in a spiral and got me with one clawed hand, lashing my back, causing ripples of agony to flow through my body. I zig-zagged along the path, aiming in the direction of the police, hoping they were still there and someone had a rifle. And handguns. Maybe a grenade or a bazooka. The zig-zagging tweaked my injured knee, and my leg collapsed out from under me. I crawled into the woods, just missing what would have been a killing blow from her tail.