“I dealt with them before, or do you have short- and long-term memory loss?” The small smile on his face told me he was teasing.
“I’ll call you if you can help. Promise.”
“See that you do. Especially if this bounty is what caused that child kidnapping. I can’t keep you safe, Mrs. Friedman, but we do have a duty to protect the general public. If your troubles become everyone’s troubles, we are going to have a problem.” Officer Bob gave me one last look before he returned to his car. I was grateful the gorilla wasn’t under it and thrilled that the witch had made sure that the protective spell didn’t blow up a friendly. That was a good call on her part. Didn’t make me like her any more, but still, a good call.
Chapter Two
When the girls finished petting the pony and the “dog’s” belly, they skittered inside like excited mice and made a beeline for the basement. Stage two of mock sleepover was a dress-up party, and each girl brought a costume, as I learned when I unabashedly eavesdropped.
One high-pitched giggle. “What costume did you bring, Sammy?”
Another high-pitched voice answered, assumedly Sammy. “I brought my Cinderella dress! My mom added extra sequins! It sparkles!”
I shivered in horror as the girls squealed and ooohed and ahhhed over the disco dress.
Dany’s voice sailed up the stairs and pierced my ears, causing a headache similar to brain freeze.
“I have a new costume! Can you guess which one it is? I’ll hold it up.”
A collective gasp and then Abby joined in. “Moana! That’s awesome, Dany! We can braid your hair. Do you like ribbons? We can put ribbons it in and pretend to sail the sea by the stars.”
“And glitter!” said another voice. Debby, I thought. Debby added, “Who doesn’t love glitter?”
Me, I thought. Definitely, me.
By this time, I was sitting at my kitchen table with a heating pad on the back of my neck, an ice pack on the crown of my head, and a bottle of migraine formula pain reliever in my hand.
“What do you have, Abby?” asked one of the girls. I gave up distinguishing one from the other.
Peals of laughter drifted upward, followed mummers of appreciation as Abby pulled out her costume. One voice sounded confused.
“I don’t know who you are, Abby. What‘s that funny hat?”
“I’m Princess Kate from England! I’m a real princess!” Abby replied.
“Oh, I love her!”
“My mom says she reminds her of Princess Diana.”
“Well, my mom said she wouldn’t want Princess Kate’s job for all the tea in China.”
“How much tea is in China?”
“I think it’s a lot.”
“Does that mean she wants all the tea?”
“No, I think it means she doesn’t want the tea and doesn’t want to be Princess Kate.”
“Who wouldn’t want to be a princess?”
“I don’t.” My daughter had spoken, and I cheered inside my head. Nathaniel grinned too.
Devi continued. “I have a different costume. See if you can guess.”
I perked up my ears at this part because I had no idea what costume she’d put together. We had a collection of old Halloween costumes in a trunk in the guest room. Most I’d bought because I couldn’t sew. I couldn’t even iron, but Angie, my best friend, had made a few of them by hand. We had a huge collection of stuff.
Curious, I dumped my heating pad, ice pack, and the rest and snuck down the stairs to get a look.
Devi was green. Completely green. Head to toe. Green tights, a long green shirt, and a green felt hat she’d gotten from somewhere. She had a leather belt around her waist and a toy quiver with nerf arrows. No bow, but I knew who she was, and it made me grin.
“You’re wearing a dress, but I don’t know which princess you are,” Debby said.
“I told you. I’m not a princess,” responded Devi. “This is a tunic.”
“What’s a tunic?”
“You make it into sandwiches, dummy.” This, from Sammy.
Devi sighed in a way that sounded familiar, and I grinned as I realized I’d heard it coming from my own lips. “That’s tuna, a fish. This is a tunic, a type of shirt.”
“It looks like a dress.”
“It’s a little long. It’s my dad’s. Look! I have arrows. Does that help?”
“Where is your bow?”
“I don’t have one.”
“You need a bow.”
“I’ll search around some more, but now do you know who I am?”
Abby jumped up. “You’re Robert Hood!”
Devi hopped from foot-to-foot in excitement. “It’s Robin Hood, but, yes!”
“What does Robert Hood do?”
“Robin Hood. He’s a hero. He steals from the rich to give to the poor in jolly old England. That’s what the book says.”
“Isn’t Robin a girl’s name?” said Debby.
“There’s a girl named Robin in first grade,” replied Abby.
Sammy lifted a finger in the air. “A robin is a bird! Not a person!”
The three girls squabbled while Devi stared at the ground, crestfallen that her friends didn’t know who she was. I was about to interfere, but Dany, who’d been pretty quiet, came to the rescue.
“Ooooh! Ooooh! I know. I know. He’s a fox.”
Devi gave her a hug. “That’s it. In the Disney movie, Robin is a fox.”
Abby’s face screwed up. “You mean, he’s handsome?”
Dany bumped Abby with her hip. “No, silly. It’s a cartoon. He’s a fox.”
“I‘m confused,” said Abby. “My older sister says this boy she likes is a fox, but he looks like a normal person to me.”
Devi decided to solve this conundrum wrapped in a riddle. “Mom!” she hollered. “Can we watch Robin Hood where Robin is a fox? Not that goofy one with the men dancing in tights. I didn’t like that one.”
I’d pulled myself out of visual range, so I waited a moment, as if I were coming from the kitchen, and leaned over the bannister. “Sure, honey. Wow! You look great. You’re Robin Hood. Is that why you want to watch the movie?”
“Yes. I want to show my friends that Robin Hood is a fox.”
Abby’s hands were on her hips. “I still don’t get it. My sister said that saying someone is a fox means they’re sexy.”
“What does sexy mean?” asked Dany.
This was where I jumped in, although I heard Nathaniel snuffling in the kitchen as he tried to control his laughter.
“I’ll get the movie, honey. What Devi means is that the movie is a cartoon, and Robin Hood is an animal.”
Blank stares.
“I’ll be right back.”
Nathaniel had the Coke bottle to his forehead and was wiping tears from his eyes.
“Thanks for helping,” I grumbled as I walked to the DVD collection.
“You…you…you’ve got it under…control…” Nathaniel snuckled. It’s not a word, I know, but it should be. His response was a mixture of a snort and a chuckle, thus, a snuckle.
The girls were excited to watch a movie, and I promised popcorn. I popped the DVD in, grateful we still had a DVD player, and let them sit back to watch the talking foxes, badger, wolf, and bear.
I microwaved two bags of popcorn, not certain how much five little girls could eat, but assuming more was better. Looking at all the kernels, I wondered if I could teach Devi how to use a vacuum. Nathaniel finished his Coke and got another one, and I gestured for him to get me one too.
“Here you go, girls. Buttered popcorn, my personal favorite.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Friedman.” The response was monotone and perfunctory as the girls were glued to the screen. The only problem was, there were only four girls.
“Where’s Devi?”
“She says she’s seen this before. She’s off looking for something.”
“Oh, okay.” I had no idea what Devi could be looking for, but whatever it was, I was sure it wasn’t dangerous
.
Chapter Three
The popcorn disappeared fast, and although the girls’ stomachs stuck out like starving UNICEF kids, they wanted more. Being a responsible mother, I gave them a large bag of Hershey’s Milk Chocolate kisses and told them to go to town.
Devi was still rummaging around for whatever it was she thought she needed, so the four girls shoved kisses in their mouths and played a game of Twister. They called to Devi to come play.
“Devi, let’s play! Come on, play with us.”
Devi emerged from the guest room covered in dust bunnies, her hat askew, and she’d ripped her tights. She sure took after her mother.
“Alright.” Devi wasn’t happy about something, but I didn’t get to ask because the girls became excited, fluttering around like manic butterflies. I’m sure the chocolate had something to do with that, but they weren’t sleeping at my house, so I didn’t care.
“Hide and seek! Hide and seek!” Abby did a cartwheel, nailing the landing.
“That’s a great idea!” Dany exclaimed, and not to be out done, did a handstand and walked on her hands for about three feet. Good form, I thought. Strong abs. Handstands come from the core, not the arms.
Sammy did a pirouette and nodded her agreement, while Debby jumped up and down, up and down, finally stabilizing in a crouch, and leapt like a frog.
Man, were their parents going to hate me. I briefly considered giving them whiskey to counter the sugar. I probably took longer than was needed to determine that this was a bad idea.
The only thing they could do was play an Olympic game of hide-and-seek and work it off.
“Go ahead, girls. Hide-and-seek sounds great.” I threw in a bonus, gestured to Devi, who came closer, and whispered, “You can even use the crawlspace.”
Devi’s eyes got wide, and she rubbed her hands together in glee. “They’ll never find me,” she whispered back.
I winked. “A sure win.”
“Okay! Let’s play!” My daughter announced her decision with a new gleam in her eye.
“Okay, let’s set some rules. Do not try to squeeze into a space you know is too small for you.” I ticked off a finger and held up another. “If I call for you, or Mr. Friedman does, you have to come right away.”
Lots of solemn nodding.
“Last, if you are still playing when your parents come, you have to stop and go home without a fuss.”
More vigorous nodding.
“Then, if we are all agreed, play ball!” I announced, which made the girls squinch their eyes at me. Four of them let it go, but Dany said, “We’re playing hide-and-seek, Mrs. Friedman, not ball.” She patted my arm, her shoulders set in a way that conveyed sympathy because, obviously, I was quite dim.
I let them play their game and wandering up the stairs to the kitchen where Nathaniel had upped the ante to chocolate chunk ice cream.
Chapter Four
The kids did an eeney-meeney to determine who was “It” and split in different directions, scurrying around to find the best hiding places. Our house had a lot of crevices and boxes to hide behind and in, so a game of hide-and-seek in our house had the potential to be epic. I left them to it and tramped outside to have a chat with Blaze.
Blaze was preening, sitting on the deck like a giant duck, poking and prodding at his wings with his beak. Shura was next to him, eating…something…she’d caught, and Rocko was huddled nearby behind a rolled garden hose pretending to be an extra-large gnome. I felt bad that I hadn’t spent any time with him, so I gave Blaze a “one moment” sign, returned to the house, piled fruit into a laundry basket, and joined my massive cuddlekin.
“Hey, big guy, how you doing?” I asked this as I handed him the laundry basket. He didn’t answer because he dove headlong into the basket like he was dunking for apples, rear-end to the sky, arms holding his weight on either side of the basket. He snarfed down half the contents, making adorable little lip-smacking sounds of delight.
I waited for Rocko to come up for air, and when he did, he had grape skins stuck to his chin, an apple core in his fur, and whatever leaves Nathaniel had gotten were now macerated green stringy goop in his teeth. I gestured to his chin with a little wiping motion, and he turned away from me and picked out the debris. I handed him a twig, and he used it to scrape his teeth. When he was presentable, he turned back around and gathered me in his arms for another giant hug. This time I stayed there, enjoy the feeling of a good friend giving me a hug, hairy or no.
“I’ve missed you, big guy.” Rocko nuzzled the top of my head.
“It’s been a bit strange lately, since I last saw you.” Rocko made a “go on” gesture. Huh. That was new.
“There’s this vampire, Pascal.”
Rocko showed his impressive teeth.
“Yeah, I know. Vampires suck.” Rocko didn’t get the pun, and I was a little relieved by that, frankly.
“So, here’s what happened…”
Rocko proved to be a great listener, making hooting noises at the right moments, widening his eyes in shock when I told him about the black-elf, and even rubbing his chin when I explained that Pascal hadn’t healed, which confounded me too. After I finished, Rocko stood on all fours and paced, like he was thinking it through.
Finally, he stopped the pacing, reared up on his legs, and pounded his chest, thumping his fists on his pecs, which made a popping noise like just-released fireworks. At the same time, he made a rhythmic barking sound and bared his teeth.
“Hey, hey. It’ll be okay, Rocko. You don’t have to protect me. I was talking it out with you to get your perspective. I’ll be fine.”
Rocko moved in front of me, guarding me with his body, his eyes scanning back and forth for danger. Silverbacks are big, scary animals whose job is to protect the troupe. I was suddenly glad he was there.
Blaze tiptoed over, which was amusing because of his big Tweety-bird feet, but he also was smart and wanted to approach quietly, head down. Even a phoenix doesn’t want to piss off an angry gorilla. He’d be born again—no, not that way—but I didn’t think it was a pleasant experience and would most certainly involve fire.
What’s got Rocko on edge?
“I told him about Pascal, the bounty, and the black elf, and he seems to have taken it as a threat to the troupe.”
That’s what gorillas do, protect their family.
“I love that he considers us family, but I don’t want him to get hurt. He’s been through enough. Maybe we should convince him, and Shura, to go home until this thing with the bounty is finished.”
You tell him to leave. Go ahead. I’d like to see you make him.
“He’s a little riled up.”
The riled-up gorilla turned to his left and charged the woods, making that barking noise and growling. Shura rushed from the deck, and Blaze and I followed, instantly alert. I grabbed the laundry basket on the way. It wasn’t a great weapon, but it was something.
Rocko cried out in pain and anger, and we worked our way through dense trees and overgrowth to find him, my heart racing with fear.
Shura got to him first, then Blaze. They stopped like they’d hit a force field.
My mighty gorilla was waving his arms back-and-forth, swatting at a dozen or so dragonflies, which were poking him with tiny swords and drawing blood with stunning accuracy.
In actuality, the dragonflies were piskies, mischievous little warriors, and I had no idea why they were here.
“Stop!”
A piskie got one good swipe in on Rocko’s nose, but then the entire chorus of piskies pulled away from the gorilla, blood dripping from their swords, wings fluttering to keep themselves stationary. They looked like bloodthirsty hummingbirds.
Rocko moved away with one last swat and sat next to me. Shura cuddled up to lick his wounds.
I glared at the piskies. “This gorilla is my friend. Do not attack him, me, mine, when you are on my grounds.”
A blue piskie flew within a foot of me, but no closer. In fact, she couldn’t come in.
“I see you cannot enter. That means you arrived with bad intentions. Would you like to tell me why a piskie chorus came to my home, armed, and attacked my friend?”
What’s a piskie chorus? Blaze asked.
“A herd of sheep, a flock of birds, a creep of trolls, a chorus of piskies.”
One day you are going to tell me about the trolls.
“Sure, but another time.”
The blue piskie scrunched up her tiny face. “Who are you talking to?”
“Blaze.” I motioned to the immense bird. “And with whom am I speaking?”
“I’m Elowen, leader of this chorus.”
“Elowen. Please answer my question.”
“We don’t have bad intent, honest. Piskies are always a little playful.”
“That still doesn’t tell me why you’re here.”
“We came to help!”
Shura did her wolf shrug, and Blaze shook his head.
“Help with what?”
“The big showdown! The finale! The battle to end all battles!”
“You need to back up and explain.” Nevertheless, if I thought my heart was beating fast before, it tap danced now.
“We piskies can tell when something big is coming, and we sense it will be here.” Elowen fluttered so fast that I couldn’t track her.
“The bounty? Someone is coming?”
“Or something.”
I turned to Blaze. “This is maddening.”
A red piskie joined the blue. “I’m second to Elowen.”
“You’re Red Leader.” I have a movie for every occasion.
The piskie floated for a moment. “I wear red, and I’m a leader, so I guess so?”
“Never mind.” I waved my hand. “Can you explain what Elowen means?”
“Elowen means elm tree.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I had girls to get back to. “No, can you explain what Elowen is trying to tell me?”
Red Leader bobbed up and down. “Pixies are the barometers of Faerie. We can’t tell you what is coming, or when, only that it’s soon.”
The Devil's Been Busy Page 30
