My gaze traveled back up to my face. My eyes had a twinkle to them that I’d never seen before. My cheeks were flushed but I wasn’t sure if it was from the heat of the shower or from thoughts of Derek. My heart was doing this unfamiliar boom at the thought of walking out of this bathroom and seeing him in my bed. I knew now what that all meant. I wanted to erase whatever fears and hesitations I had last night—I wanted Derek in every sense of the word. I wanted to explore and try again.
I wrapped myself back up in the towel and went to the bedroom. Derek was awake but still in bed. He was sitting up and shirtless, propped up by pillows and looking at his phone. He appeared extremely relaxed. I tried to ignore the way the sheet slid down around his hips to reveal the beginning of the delectable “V” that would leave any woman swooning.
“The shower is all yours. Towels are in the linen closet,” I told him, trying to act as nonchalant as humanly possible.
He looked up at me, flashed a bright smiled, then swung his legs over the side of the bed. Walking over to me, he kissed the tip of my nose. I savored the intoxicating scent of him and the wash of warmth I felt when he was so near.
“Thanks, beautiful. I’ll make it quick, then cook us some breakfast.”
After he disappeared into the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the bed and began to run a comb through my cropped hair. I fingered the short ends and wondered if I’d ever have the long tresses again. My hair had been dyed dark brown and cut short for so many months now, I wondered if I’d recognize my old look—or if I even wanted to.
True to his word, Derek was out of the shower ten minutes later. I was sitting on the edge of the bed when he walked into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel around his trim waist. Droplets of water rained down from his head and glistened on his shoulders and chest. He was a magnificent sight and I sighed inwardly.
“God, you’re perfect,” I said, my words barely a whisper.
“What did you say?”
“You. You’re perfect.”
He flashed me a cooked grin and reached for the pants and shirt he’d been wearing the night before.
“I try,” he teased. After he pulled on his shirt, he unabashedly dropped his towel and stepped into his pants. I nearly groaned from the sight of his hard, tight ass.
Regaining me focus, I stood and went over to him.
“No, I’m serious. I don’t think you realize what last night meant to me. The way you treated me was…” I trailed off, unable to formulate the words that would do the experience justice. “Look, I wish I could erase those years of my life but I can’t.”
“Why would you want to erase them?” he asked and cocked his head to one side. Reaching up, he pushed a wet strand of hair from my forehead. “They taught you so much. You’re stronger because of it—stronger than anyone I know. You picked yourself up off the ground and began anew. That takes more strength than you’re giving yourself credit for. I said as much last night but I’ll say it gain now. You’re the face of a true survivor.”
Emotion choked me.
“Derek, I… I want to try again.”
“What do you mean?”
“A part of me may always be broken. I’ve accepted that. But I also know there’s life after Ethan and I believe you’ll be a part of that life. I want to be with you. I can do this. I just need you to remember my limitations. Just not from behind and no hands near my throat, okay?”
He reached for me and pulled me against his body. His hold was steadfast, pinning me to his torso, eyes never once wavering from mine. My cheeks flushed crimson, and his striking hazel eyes darkened. I felt my heart rate accelerate even faster as I returned his gaze. He was so close to me. His broad, wide palm pressed against the small of my back while the other cupped my chin. His adams apple bobbed as he swallowed deeply.
“Sparky, I need to make sure I’m understanding you correctly. Are you saying you want to try having sex again?”
“Yes,” I whispered and brought my hands up to his chest. His shoulders were solid beneath the thin cotton of his t-shirt and I longed to touch his flesh.
“You don’t need to prove anything to me. I can wait. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?”
I smiled softly. He was almost too perfect—a boy scout in every sense of the word and always more concerned with my well-being than anything else.
“I’m sure.”
I tucked my head down and stepped back, hiding from the scorching heat of his gaze. Without another word, I separated the towel and let it slip from my body. My heart pummeled me from the inside, rattling against my ribs. The morning sunlight, however filtered by the curtains drawn closed, suddenly seemed brighter than it had a moment before. The light made me feel exposed in ways I hadn’t considered the night before. In this light, he’d be able to see the imperfections on my body—the evidence of scars from previous injuries, each one telling a story of where I’d been.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
His large hands reached out to splay over my hips and wrap around to my lower back. His touch was almost reverent as he pulled me close and allowed me to take the lead. Stepping backward, I guided us both toward the bed. The fabric of jeans brushed against the bare skin of my thighs as we lowered to the mattress.
Propped up on one elbow, he used one hand to cup my face while the other traveled south to grab my thigh and loop my leg around his hips.
“Sparky, I don’t want you to be afraid,” he murmured against my lips. “I might unknowingly do something wrong, but I don’t want it to spook you. I would never intentionally hurt you. So please, tell me again. Are you one hundred percent sure you’re ready for this?”
Any reservations I may have had fell away at his words.
“I want you, Derek. All of you.”
With a slight nudge to his shoulder, I coaxed him onto his back and straddled his legs. Slowly, I pulled his pants down his legs and exposed his growing length.
“What are you doing? You don’t have to do th—” he began to protest.
“Shhh… I want to.”
Leaning down, I ran my tongue around the smooth crown of his dick.
“Holy mother…” he groaned, giving me the encouragement to take in a little more of him. I wrapped my lips around his head, circling my tongue around the head. Opening my mouth wider, I took more of him inside.He was thick and soft on my tongue as I sucked, his ridges sliding back and forth over my lips.
He reached around and entwined both of his hands in my hair, thrusting himself deeper and forcing a steady rhythm. For a split second, I froze. Images of Ethan and the sick gratification he’d get out of forcing his cock into my mouth flashed in my mind. I glanced up at Derek’s face, desperately needing to remember that the hands tangled in my hair were not the hands of a monster.
When my eyes met his, I saw nothing but pleasure and awe as he watched my mouth slide over his sleek shaft. His fingers moved to tenderly push my hair out of my face. This man wasn’t monster, but someone who kind and gentle—someone who cherished me.
Suddenly filled with this overwhelming desire to please him, I opened my throat to further accept him, sucking and twisting my tongue around his thick shaft. I pushed my head forward, taking him deep with my swallow and held him there. I pulled back and did it again, but this time I adjusted my throat to take him even deeper.
“Shit! Baby, stop!” he hissed, pulling back suddenly. His breathing was ragged, coming out in short successions. “I need to be able to last for you.”
Without warning, he rolled until I was on my back. His mouth came down on mine, his tongue plunging deep as my hips reflexively rocked into him.
“Oh, god. Derek, I need you. I need this.”
He answered with a groan and worked his way down my neck. His teeth grazed over my nipples, nipping and suckling on the hardened peeks until I thought I might combust from the pleasure. Moving down my body, his tongue traced small circles over and around my belly button. His
fingers lingered around a scar on my side, evidence of where a hard boot had connected with tender flesh. I tensed briefly, but immediately relaxed when he reverently kissed the area like he was trying to kiss my horrors away.
“Mother of god, you’re perfect. The things I want to do to you…the things I want to make you feel…” He trailed off, moving his lips to place open mouthed kisses over my hips and top of my thighs. “Open your legs. I want to see you—all of you.”
Without hesitation, I dropped my knees apart. He took them in each hand and raised them up so I was completely exposed to him. He stared hungrily for what seemed like an embarrassing long while, before moving down to position his head between my legs. His hands slid slowly over my legs, spreading my thighs impossibly wider, before coming to rest just inches away from my throbbing clit. He parted my folds with two fingers, effectively exposing the throbbing nub of desire. I was drenched and I arched my back up in longing.
My teeth clenched as his tongue swept up my entrance, through my wet folds, and over my clit. He began lightly, teasing me almost, as he nipped and sucked along my tender flesh. He probed my entrance with one, two, then three fingers, pushing in as his tongue became more aggressive. My hands balled into fists, every muscle in my body shuttering under his ruthless mouth. When his free hand moved up to pinch one of my nipples, I was lost. I bucked under him, my hips pushing upward to fuck his hand and mouth until I began to feel a tightening in my core. My legs stiffened and my eyes rolled to the heavens. In a blinding white light, he pushed me over the edge, leaving me completely liquified and breathless beneath him.
I could barely move as he worked his way back up, leaving a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses along my belly and the curves of my breasts. I could only lay there, my bones feeling like they’d been turned to Jell-O, enjoying the last few flutters of my orgasm. I felt his weight shift, then heard the telltale sound of a condom foil wrapper being torn open. Raising my lids, my eyes connected with Derek’s. He was settled between my thighs, his cock positioned just outside my entrance.
“Tell me one more time, Gia. Are you sure?”
My answer was instant.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my whole life.”
With my hands braced on his shoulders, he pushed into the tight clutches of my body and began to move in a slow and steady rhythm. I caught his face in my hands, brought his head down, and kissed him hard. I wanted him to know I was irrevocably and willingly his. I moaned against his lips, surrendering to the centripetal force. The intensity of the way he returned the kiss sent shockwaves through my system as he continued to move inside me.
He pushed deeper and I tightened around him. His motions were determined, matching me thrust after thrust. I gripped at his shoulders and we moved together. His rippled muscles bunched beneath my palms and I kissed him again. Our breaths mingled as our need for each other rose to a new height. When he unexpectedly broke away, his breathing was ragged as his hands flexed around my hips.
“You’re beautiful and strong,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I want to give you everything you need. I never want you to feel afraid, but only safe and cherished.”
The intensity of his words nearly leveled me. Emotion clogged in my throat and it suddenly felt like he wasn’t close enough. I needed more of him.
“More,” I breathed, wanting every sensation he could make me feel.
He shoved inside of me with a force that took my breath away. Then he withdrew, teasing me with his cock, before ruthlessly plunging back in. His eyes met mine. His gaze was transfixed with an almost reverent intensity. Never before had I felt so close to someone—so connected.
“I’m almost there,” I panted and tightened my legs around him. I trembled, losing more of myself with every passing moment. I became desperate, the promise of release all consuming.
“Now, Gia. Give it to me now!”
With one hard thrust, he plunged deeper. My sensitive tissues rippled until I began to spasm uncontrollably, his words sending me into a heart-pounding orgasm. Colors flashed before my eyes as the rush surged through me.
“Derek!” I cried out and unraveled around him, my body overwhelmed with the sensation of blinding white heat. I was mindless, writhing against him shamelessly as I split apart at the seams. My fingernails clawed at his back, pulling him closer. His body shuddered before he stilled. And then all at once, his cock became impossibly harder, pulsing deliciously, as his own climax burst forth.
24
Thirty minutes later, Derek and I were still a tangle of limbs and sheets. I didn’t want to move but would rather extend the after bliss of the most intense sexual experience of my life for as long as possible instead. I suspected Derek felt the same because every time I shifted, he’d groan and pull me tighter to his hard, warm body.
I didn’t know what was happening between us. He stumbled into my life at the most inopportune moment. I was building a new life here and I meant what I said to him—I wanted him to be a part of that. There was only one thing truly holding me back from completely giving into my feeling for him—a marriage certificate. Filing for divorce meant returning to Cincinnati and seeing Ethan. I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to face my demon again. I had hoped to allow more time to pass but I also didn’t want to live my life like this. I needed an exit strategy—one that didn’t include hiding but would allow me to be free of Ethan once and for all.
I rolled onto my back and giggled when I heard Derek’s stomach rumble.
“Worked up an appetite, did you?” I teased.
“You damn near killed me woman. If I had known it would be that good, I might not have been so patient these past six months,” he joked in return. “But now, we need sustenance. Do you have eggs in the fridge?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Perfect. I’m going to make us some breakfast.”
Disentangling himself from bedsheets, Derek stood. Foregoing his boxer briefs, he slid jeans over his lean, muscular legs and buttoned the fly. He didn’t bother with a shirt, but just tossed me a wink and sexy grin before disappearing into the kitchen. When I heard him rifling through my cabinets in search of ingredients and pots and pans, I knew I should get up to help him.
Dragging my sex-laden body from the bed, I went into the bathroom to get dressed. One look in the mirror and I cringed. My wet hair had long since dried and was sticking up in all directions. I wet a hairbrush and worked to smooth it out. As I combed through the snarled strands one yank at a time, a familiar feeling of trepidation came over me. It was the same sort of feeling I’d felt the other day when the toothpaste was out of place. Instinctively, I glanced down at the counter.
The toothpaste wasn’t there.
My stomach sank. I knew I left it out. There’s no way I’d accidentally put it away a second time—especially after what happened after it was out of place the last time. I yanked open the vanity drawer and sure enough, the toothpaste was there. But what was worse—it had been rolled up from the bottom. I was one hundred percent sure I hadn’t done that.
I placed a hand over my mouth and stifled a scream. Ethan had to have been here or someone was playing a very sick joke. The problem was that nobody knew about his toothpaste obsession except me. If he had been here, when? I retraced my steps. The last time I’d used the toothpaste was last night before going to bed. That would mean he would have been here between last night and… I felt all blood drain from my face as the realization dawned.
He might still be here now.
I ran to the kitchen. Derek was at the counter cracking an egg into a bowl. When he saw me, his concern was immediate.
“Sparky, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“The toothpaste. Did you use it?”
Derek scratched his head, a perplexed look on his face.
“Uh, yeah. This morning actually. I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t use your toothbrush though. I just used my fing—”
&nbs
p; “I don’t care about that. I just need to know—did you put the toothpaste away in the drawer?”
“Maybe. I don’t remember to be honest.”
“What about rolling the tube up from the bottom? Did you do that?”
His confused look transitioned to genuine concern. I was sure I sounded like a crazy person but I didn’t have time to worry about it.
“No, I don’t think I rolled it up…maybe. Gia, Christ. It’s only toothpaste. Why are you so upset?”
His placating tone reminded me of Natalia when I asked her to drive by my old house. It made me remember I hadn’t heard back from her about that. Immediately, I snatched my cell phone up from the kitchen counter and dialed Natalia.
“Nat,” I said once she picked up. “Did you ever do that drive by like I asked you to?”
“Good morning to you too,” she mumbled. “What the hell, Gia? It’s not even eight o’clock yet—and it’s a Sunday.”
“I’m serious, Nat. Did you do it?”
“Yeah, I did it. But I couldn’t tell if he was there—at least not until last night. All kinds of crazy shit happened. I would have called but it was late. I planned to call you today about it.”
“About what? What crazy shit?”
“Ethan. Apparently, he beat up some woman named Cynthia pretty good about a month back. She barely lived. Once she recovered, she went after him hard.”
I glanced at Derek. His concerned expression was still there. I couldn’t blame him after the way I was acting. I knew he needed to understand. Moving the phone away from my ear, I put it on speaker.
“Nat, I’m with Derek. You’re on speaker phone. Keep going. What do you mean Cynthia went after him hard?”
“Oooh, you’re with Derek this early in the morning?”
I nearly rolled my eyes, becoming more and more impatient with each passing second.
“Nat, that’s not important. Tell me what happened.”
Leave Me Breathless: The Black Rose Collection Page 43
