"Tell me more."
"I was in third grade and he passed me a note during our multiplication table drills. We were doing the eights."
"Let me guess. He was the golden boy of the third grade."
"How did you know?"
"Just a wild guess." He leaned forward to nudge the Stetson a little farther so he could meet her gaze under the brim.
"I unfolded his note, so nervous I nearly dropped it. He'd drawn three flowers for me, crayon-colored petunias."
"Now I'm jealous. I've been outdone." His smile came gently, softly.
"Not even close, handsome man." His hat, slid down too low on her forehead and she gave it a push.
She knew he felt it, too. Whatever closeness they'd shared, whatever affection had carried both of them past the point of no return, could only go so far.
Her cell binged again, announcing another text. Reminding her of the life she had, so full, so wonderful, so far away.
Ting, went his phone. He eased out the cell to take a peek. "Not work related. It's Jenna wanting to borrow five bucks."
"Just five?"
"She's teasing me. It's because I didn't tip her enough. I'll tell her to put it on my tab later. Right now, we're talking. Just you and me. We're on limited time, and it's running down, nearly out."
Ting!
"That's your phone again," she pointed out.
"I'm not as popular as it may seem."
"Neither am I," she said as her phone binged.
The wind ruffled her hair and fanned her face, but it couldn't disperse the knowledge lodged in her chest.
Don't move away from me, she wanted to say, but stayed silent, left everything in the world unsaid and walked through the door he held for her.
Renee looked up from packing lunches for the men. "Hey, you two."
"Hi. Need any help?" Emily whipped off Cord's hat and slid it, like he did, on the little end table tucked against the wall.
"If you ask, I'll put you to work." Renee closed the hamper lid.
"It's up to Cord. Hey, Kate." She bent to stroke the dog, her fingers gentle, the dog happy.
"I'm gonna miss you when you're gone," Cord said.
"Me too."
His eyes locked onto hers and the connection snapped between them, strengthened, drawing her in. Her love for him brightened more until she felt as if her heart glowed. Her love for him outshone everything.
But did he feel the same way?
He grabbed two pop cans from the fridge, opened one and passed it to her.
"So, tell us about this new job you're going after." He popped his can top and took a slurp.
"They came to me, and I survived the final interview. It is one of the biggest companies, it is a fantastic opportunity and I can't wait to see if I can land it. I love a challenge, and I would really love this work. I love what I do."
"I'll say a prayer for you." He grinned, glad for her, but he couldn't hide the shades of pain in his eyes. "I love my work too."
And there it was. What she couldn't give up.
Neither could he.
"We'll drive this out for you, Renee. Why don't you take your lunch break early and a bit extra long?" He set down his cola can on the breakfast bar.
"I'll leave your meal here, then." She grabbed a small insulated pack and a box of foil. She ripped off a sheet and began to wrap the pulled pork barbecue sandwiches. "The bean pot is cooling on a trivet, you just dish up from there. I've got a coleslaw salad in the fridge. Bags of chips I'll leave on the counter. You'll want a private lunch, you two."
"Thanks, Renee." Emily padded over, set her cola can on the counter and grabbed one of the packs, which was heavier than it looked.
"I'll take the rest." Cord blocked her from reaching for anything more, loaded up easily with the rest of the insulated and non insulated carriers and off they went to the front of the house.
One of those extra big pickup trucks sat in the driveway, parked next to her little rental sedan. They opened the crew cab doors and set the packs safely on the backseat floor, where they were wedged in pretty good and couldn't spill.
He opened the front passenger door for her, took her hand and helped her up. If only she could see into the future, she thought, as she settled into the seat and reached for the buckle to belt herself in. He circled the truck and hopped up behind the wheel.
He turned the key, and the engine rumbled to life. "Are you missing home yet?"
She had to answer honestly. "So much it hurts."
"I knew that." He put the truck in gear, gave it a little gas and the truck rolled down the driveway. "If you were home, what would you be doing now?"
"I'd be getting ready for my lunch break, if my meeting ends on time." She hauled out her phone, it had binged again and glanced at her texts. Mom, sister, grandmother and Caitlin.
"Oh, Caitlin has a confirmed seat on a flight out of Newark. This is good news." She shook her head, sorry. "She's going to be able to meet me, she has a long layover in Chicago. Finally, this is going to work out fine."
"Get on the phone and check on your flight. Make sure you don't leave Caitlin alone in an airport." He smiled, one of the nicest men alive. Don't go, his eyes seemed to say.
So did her heart.
She reached out, she couldn't help it, knowing how he felt. They had this common, too. It was the fear of not being enough to be deeply loved and forever. That if someone did love you, it wouldn't last because it never had before.
Her fingers touched his, just for a moment she reached out to him, strengthening the connection between them. His sun-warmed skin, his calloused strength and his solid feel made her believe he could be the one.
But then she turned her attention to the phone. Everyone was waiting for her back home. She had everything there.
Everyone but Cord.
He was so attentive, so sincere, so mighty, such a good match for her. And the depth of love she felt for him, well, it could outshine everything if she let it, with the strongest, most true light.
Her phone binged again, a reminder of all she had that she could not give up. Her whole heart ached for what she had flown away from and left behind for just a few days. How could she bear to do it for a lifetime?
She couldn't.
Her gaze hungrily glanced at the pic Mom had sent with her text. They'd gone out on the boat today, posing on the deck, grinning at the camera with laughter and happiness bright in their eyes. Oh, those dear faces. Her sister had played hooky from work, apparently. They looked so happy.
Miss you! Mom had written. Not better without you. Answer me! I worry.
Her sister's text sat beneath that. Better without you. We don't miss you at all. With a big winking smily face.
Her heart filled with love, so big and bright, for these amazing people. Look at them and their good times.
Cord steered onto a dirt road and slowed as they drove along the fenced field. He glanced at the phone. "That much fun should be illegal."
"I agree. Unless I'm there having fun with them."
"Exactly. Your grandparents look super kind."
"That's the perfect term. They are." She sighed. "Grandfather's heart condition is a cause for concern but not alarm. He's doing so well it's not an end of life thing yet. It's just let's enjoy the quality time we have together kind of a reminder."
"Important to realize that at the time. Yet you chose to go away on a convention instead of hang with them?" Teasing, lightly, gently, with love in those sweet dark eyes, he kept his attention on his driving.
"I was wrong. I mean, what was I thinking to leave them at all?" She rolled her eyes, using humor to make him laugh.
"They are clearly celebrating being without you," he teased back.
She laughed. "It's true. I can't deny it. I have pictures to prove it and everything."
"Clear evidence documented right there on your phone."
"And knowing my sister, on her social media sites."
The truck bounced alo
ng, following the fence line, and motoring up a gentle rise.
He gestured left. "That's my parent's home right there."
She sat up straighter, squinting through the streaks of sunshine through the windshield glass to see the stately two-story home with lots of windows winking in the sun's touch. The place said homey but landed, and monied people lived there. The four car garage sat off to one side, with a wide bank of windows above it.
What a friendly looking home, she thought. A good place for Cord to have grown up in. No wonder he was so solid.
"I can see why you came home to visit and help out with your dad until he was better, and never left." She eased back into the seat.
"He and my granddad taught me everything I needed to know about ranching, about being a good steward to this land and a caretaker of our animals."
"You must have spent so much time with them growing up."
"Are you kidding? It was all I wanted to do. I loved school, but it was torment being away from Dad and Granddad. I'd run off the bus and dump everything, change my clothes and I'd be running off without a snack to find them in the barns or in the fields."
"Then one day you were old enough that you left for years and years for college."
"I loved my time away. Don't get me wrong. But I have a different kind of freedom here, different kind of everything. It's all a trade off. Whatever path you choose in life, you do your best, you love your life and you bloom. Grandmother's words of wisdom."
"Good advice."
"Then again, I have the best family."
"Hey, I have the best family." Happiness glimmered in her darling, unguarded eyes.
A movement in the tall grasses caught his attention. He recognized the distinctive dark coat of a moose. Wary eyes stared out at him.
He pointed. "Look."
Emily's breath caught in an adorable gasp of wonder. Everything about the woman captured him. The curve of her face, the refined cut of her chin, the life that shone out of her. The graceful elegance of her. She sat as poised as a ballerina, watching the wild animals cautiously as they rolled by.
The moose and her baby broke through the vegetation and cut across the far side of the clearing, probably looking for more privacy away from curious human beings.
"She doesn't seem too afraid of us," Emily said.
"She knows us. Look, we have deer there." He nodded toward another field. "We always have deer. They like to get water at our cattle troughs, and they are always welcome. Sometimes a parade of wild animals comes down close to my house in the evenings. During the summer, I get to sit on my porch and watch them go by."
"When you're reading?"
"Yes. I never get tired of my life here."
"How could anyone?"
He slowed the truck. Up ahead there was a lot of activity. Other trucks were parked alongside the private road, including ATVs and two saddled horses. A flatbed truck loaded with fenceposts, a roll of wire and a box of supplies sat in the sun.
"Hey, it's food." Joe put down his wire cutters.
"Come on," Cord called out, rolling down his window. "I'll get the food laid out. Lunch time."
He braked, cut the engine and left the keys dangling. Anyone could see Emily was out of her element. And always would be.
It was an impossible, this love in his heart for her. But he smiled, so she would never know exactly how much he did love her.
Enough to let her go.
13
Only a few scraps of snowy white clouds dared to break the incredible blue sky that seemed to go forever. What an awesome sight, Cord thought from the restful vantage of his porch furniture.
The beauty of the world surrounding him diminished compared to the beauty of Emily. He drank in every detail. He never wanted to forget her time here with him.
"I don't see how you get any work done when you have all this to distract you." She tipped head back, peering out at the sky. "Is that a hawk?"
The big winged creature spread its bronzed wings wide, glowing nearly copper in the sun. Hooked beak, talons visible from where he sat. "He's a golden eagle. We have a nesting pair in our valley."
"He's magnificent."
He could tell himself a million times to keep his wits about him, to be sensible and practical and prepare for the inevitable. Bittersweet, he took the last bite of his pulled pork barbecue sandwich and chewed.
"Look at him soar. He's so graceful." Still caught up watching the eagle, she didn't realize that he couldn't stop gazing at her.
He was hooked by every little thing. The way her mouth curved up into a smile, the endearing expression on her face, the clutching of her long, slender fingers on the brim of his Stetson. He'd gotten a spare one out of the closet for her.
"Circling like that, he's probably spotted lunch for his family. Watch." He'd seen it so many times, he hardly looked as he covered Emily's hand with his.
He felt the sun-warmed silk of her skin, and the click of awareness as her spirit turned toward his.
It felt like God's destiny, like an answered prayer as she leaned a little his way and he leaned hers and they met in the middle. Side by side, and with her shoulder pressing against his arm, they watched the sky together.
It felt as if nothing separated his heart from hers as the eagle nosed into a dive, falling and falling through sky and air, dropping like a missile toward the earth.
Emily gasped as golden wings spread, and the eagle swooped out of sight. They waited until he rose up on great wings, circling northward, heading home.
Cord didn't break the silence between them. No words were necessary. Emily sat still, happiness carved on her face as she watched the majestic creature wing his way across the blue.
He loved that she saw this countryside the way he did, as full of beauty and wonder. God's touch was everywhere. It was simple to feel Him in the sunshine and in the brush of the wind.
I never want to forget this moment, Cord thought as the eagle wheeled through the shafts of the sun and out of sight. With Emily at his side, with her hand tucked beneath his, he felt whole and content down to the soul.
Wishes he couldn't give rise to whispered down deep. He'd fallen in love with her greatly. He'd never stop cherishing the bond that linked them, heart to heart.
Don't think about the future, he told himself.
She smiled at him. The wonder bright in her eyes remained, no longer for the eagle, but for him.
Affection as pure as heaven seized him, stealing every word and leaving only feeling. They were kindred souls, made for each other.
Was that the same hope he had that he read in her eyes? The silent wish that this could last a lifetime?
And the sad truth knowing that it could not.
He would love her anyway.
He slowly leaned in to kiss her, giving her time to realize what he was doing and stop him or move away. Acceptance passed across her features and she gave a little gasp of breath, but she didn't turn away. Wonder sparkled in her caring eyes.
Wonder. How about that? She wanted his kiss. It felt like a dream, something too good to be true, as his mouth hovered over hers. His pulse thudded in his ears and thumped against his sternum.
When their lips met, it was the softest of kisses. The sweetest. He wanted her to know the reverence he felt for her and the unending tenderness he could no longer keep secret.
She was fairy-tale sweetness. His doubts faded, taking fear with them and leaving only the beat of the sun and the caress of hope in his soul. She laid her hand on his chest. Holding on, not pushing away.
He opened his eyes and gazed down at her, reading the joy in her soul, and her joy that matched his. How this would end no longer mattered. It was already decided. Only this flawless moment held meaning. This second when their eyes met again and he felt his spirit touch hers.
Eternity grabbed hold, time lost meaning and there was only the gentle satin of her lips on his, again, of the press of her hand over his heart and the feeling of their souls united
. It was a kiss he didn't want to end. He wanted to hold her forever just like this until the end of time.
But the wind gusted, catching the brim of his Stetson she wore and tipping it upward. She reached up, he reached up, but the hat sailed away on the breeze and their kiss ended with laughter.
"Horrible timing!" Emily chuckled as she waltzed off the wicker couch, moving as lithe and limber as music, as the breeze rustling the grasses and stirring the wildflowers.
"Terrible timing," he agreed, standing up to join her mad dash. His Stetson scurried along, rolling ahead of her, just out of reach.
Lord, I know this is a sign from You. He lunged for the hat and caught it by the brim before it could tumble away again. Emily tumbled into his arms laughing, so bright and radiant he couldn't believe that, for this moment, she was his.
"Look where we're standing." She leaned her cheek against his chest.
So dear to have her there, tucked in his arms. The powerful need to take care of her overwhelmed him. He plunked the hat on her head and pushed back the brim so he could look at her.
If only he knew how to pause time.
"We're in a circle of wildflowers." She gestured with her free hand toward their feet, where buttercups smiled upward, coneflowers bobbed and daisies nodded.
He reached to pick another daisy and tucked it into the hat brim. Love left him reeling.
For this one moment he wished he could hold onto her for keeps.
* * *
"I don't want to forget my wildflower." Emily untucked the daisy from the hat brim and handed the Stetson back to Cord.
"I guess it's time for you to go." He took the hat and dropped it on the table in the eating nook off the kitchen.
"Yeah, I've got a lot to get ready for my flight in the morning." Emily hid a secret smile as she ran a fingertip over the silken petals and the yellow center, aware that he was watching her.
Did he feel this too, not wanting her to leave?
But her feet took her to the front door, and he opened it for her. The bright afternoon stretched out across the hillside and meadows. Larks sang, robins hopped in the sloping lawn and, behind the fencing, horses dotted the green fields, grazing.
His Montana Bride Page 13
