He had me search my mind for any shred of evidence as to where they’d fled.
“We could try hypnotism if you would be open to that.” Dr. Antos indicated when we’d come up with no clues.
“Can I think about this?”
“Sure. I just wanted you to know all your options.”
“Do you really think my hallucinations are related to my fears?”
“In many cases, they are. Schizophrenic episodes can’t be totally divorced from your own psyche.”
“Okay, well, I’ll think about it.” I stood, even though our hour wasn’t complete.
Leaving the tent, I passed Frida on her way to visit the psychiatrist. “How are you doing?” I stopped in front of her.
“Actually, better than ever. I know I really want to live now. I can’t remember feeling that way for a long time.”
“I’m so happy for you.” I hugged her without hesitation.
“Wow, you finally warmed up to me. Too bad it took almost dying.” She squeezed my shoulders and then released me.
“I would have gotten there.”
“Thanks for being a friend.”
“Of course, you too.”
“Okay, well, I’m late for the shrink. See you at dinner.”
I walked to the mess tent, killing time before our server’s position. A couple different groups were huddled in conversations, and I joined Jude and John.
“Done with the rain yet?” John asked as I took a seat on the picnic bench beside them.
“I’m used to it.”
“Jude here is ready to implode. He’d never make it living in Iceland.”
“They need some weights in this program.” He stood, pacing across the aisle and back.
“I bet if the weather holds, you’ll get your wish. This organization seems outfitted for any situation. I think music may be at the top of my list. How about you, Camille?”
“I usually swim in the winter. But I’m done with that for a while. A treadmill would be good for blowing off some steam.”
“I’d vote for a hot tub,” George said from behind us. We spun around to include the kids chatting with him. There were various votes from an indoor sand volleyball court to a dance floor.
“No way they’re letting us dance. Too much opportunity for personal contact. Although they didn’t seem to have a problem when Jude was keeping Camille warm yesterday,” George put in.
My cheeks warmed, and I guessed they shone red. Glancing at Jude, I saw his gaze fixed on George.
“If you knew anything about medical shock, you’d know that the first sign is hypothermia. Camille already has low blood pressure, and the cold exacerbated it. She wasn’t warming herself. She was in danger of getting frost bite or worse.”
Feeling guilty I hadn’t given Jude even more credit, I looked to George to gauge his reaction.
“Guess we’re all safer in your presence since you seem to know everything about everything.”
“Dude, I was just doing the right thing.”
“Lucky you, it was with a hot girl. Like you needed any points.” His eyes cut to me.
Equally embarrassed and angered, I stood, hands balled at my sides. “Do not trivialize the accident. We almost lost Frida. And for the record, no one is making points with me.”
I walked to the kitchen, thinking I had the excuse of checking out the menu. I guessed Jude had been right about George. Talk about insensitive, I thought.
“Glad you can hold your own.” Jude appeared behind me.
“I’m not a fool,” I said, spinning to face him.
“I can see that. You got any moves?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like self-defense.”
“I usually carry mace in my bag. I took a class one time.”
“Want to learn some stuff? I could use a workout.”
“What? In the mess tent, in front of all these people? We only have fifteen minutes.”
“Okay, come on.” He cocked his head towards the stock room.
Inside, he pointed to his chest. “Hit me, give it all you got.”
I raised my fists to chest level and jabbed with my right. As quick as I could blink, he grabbed the fist and had it pinned behind my back.
“Uncle?”
“Funny.” He released me. “You need to be quicker. Aim for my gut. He slapped his stomach. Use an undercut. Works on jaws too, but I happen to like mine.”
“You’re not getting a workout like this.”
“It’ll come. It felt good to punch at something, didn’t it?”
“I guess.”
“I’ll just tape George’s face on my abdomen.”
“I’ve steered clear of him like you suggested. That’s the first time he’s singled me out.”
“You’re lucky, he’s been making digs at anyone in his path for two weeks.”
I swung at his gut, and he jumped back. “Nice try.” He winked at me and started bouncing on his feet. “Have at it.”
Every time I punched at him, he moved before my fist hit its target. No matter how crafty I tried to be, using a one-two, or two quick jabs, I couldn’t land a punch. I bent over, hands to my thighs to catch my breath. “Maybe I need to learn the defense part. I suck at this.”
“Sorry, I’m just fast.”
“You can say that again. Okay, teach me your moves.”
“It’s more about watching the person and anticipating where they’re going.” His fist shot to my face, and I ducked away just in time. “I wasn’t going to hit you.”
“I know.”
“What’s going on?” Allen entered the room.
“Oh, we were just working out. A little boxing.”
“We’ve got gloves you know.”
“Really?”
“Sure, you can check them out. Use them any time.”
“Sweet. I’m in.” Jude picked up our jackets and handed me mine.
We followed Allen back to the prep area where we set out the trays of food for the meal. After the task, we loaded our own plates and found Frida.
“Word is you guys snuck off to make out,” she said as we sat on either side of her.
“And you believed them?” I asked.
“A girl can dream. I don’t think I’m his type, and no one else is worthy.” Her eyes cut from Jude to me.
“Frida, should we find a boyfriend for you? Perhaps John?” Jude asked.
“I don’t want you guys picking anybody for me.”
“Well then, stop bothering us. Three musketeers, right?”
“A romance would spice things up a bit.”
“Already bored with nearly drowning?” he asked.
“I would’ve rather it been your lips on mine than hers,” she puckered and leaned towards him.
“Not sure you would be alive with wimpy one beating on your chest.” Jude pointed at me.
“Hey!” I defended.
“Don’t worry, I’ll whip you into shape. Interested in boxing with us, Frida?” Jude asked.
“Course. I’m in. Anything to not be stuck with the masses.” She looked back at the other campers.
When we finished dinner, Jude had his counseling session, and Frida and I walked to our tent. Inside, Asa, Janna, and Inga were packing.
“What’s going on?” Frida asked.
“Hilda said we were switching tents tomorrow.”
Great, I thought, so now not only do I have to worry about switching groups but about new tent mates. We hadn’t had problems with thefts, but people were in other tents, and I hated the thought of sleeping with my camera again.
Frida plopped down on my bed. “I don’t get it. What’s the point?”
“Going to miss Camille?” Asa asked.
“I think they’re trying to put us in stressful situations in a safe environment,” Janna commented, stuffing clothes in a duffle.
I hated to admit I’d grown attached to Frida. My family had moved so much I’d learned to be without friends. My things were already
organized, and I kept them in my duffle and toiletry bag, so I didn’t have much to do. Instead, I helped Frida and then Inga and Janna pack their things. As I approached Asa, she held her palm in front of my face.
“Remember, OCD chick? I’m better, but not better enough to want you to touch my stuff.”
“No worries.”
A bell rang, signaling the time for the campfire, and as water still dripped from the sky, we made our way to the mess tent. In the center, the counselors had arranged four heaters. They glowed red with warmth, and we circled around them.
“Well,” started Dr. Antos, “this looks to be as good as we’re going to get. I wanted to address the rumor of tent assignments.”
He went on to explain we would get new tent assignments the next day and have a day to move in and get to know our new bunkmates Sunday. Monday, we would change activity groups and have an afternoon of team-building exercises with our new counselor and camper teams.
You don’t need Frida and Jude, I repeated in my head. You’re good on your own. You know how to handle your fears now. Yes, my alter ego continued, just picture Jude and you’ll be fine. Realizing he had started to take up too much space in my head, I made a mental note to put some distance between us. There was no point in forming a stronger bond with someone who lived halfway around the globe.
Focusing on the music, I finished singing the chorus. My arm became hot, and I looked over to realize Jude had materialized beside me. Mentally, I cursed him for being so suave and nice. Whatever he smelled of—grass, honey, earth and wood—it had me totally won over. Then, I focused on his personality traits rather than his physical attributes.
He’d exhibited kindness, braveness, fairness, intelligence, wit, and humor. It was hard not to add handsome to the list. And, he liked me. Did I believe that? Every indicator pointed to the fact. But why? By happenstance? Just because we happened to be standing alone in the parking lot the first day? Because we shared the same affliction? Because Frida had wrangled us into this three-musketeers relationship?
It didn’t matter. In two weeks, we will be half a world apart again, I reminded myself. And right then, I needed to focus on my recovery so I wouldn’t react to his presence or lean into him. I would be strong and remember why I was there in the first place.
“I’m sad.” Frida locked her arm in mine as we walked back to our tent.
“Why?”
“They’re going to separate us.”
“You don’t know that, and besides, we’ll hang out no matter what.”
“Pinky swear.”
“Yes, pinky swear.”
We made our way to the latrine and readied for bed. That night I slept deeper than I’d ever remembered sleeping. Perhaps all the stresses of the week had compounded, but if felt like I could have slept for days.
Beth Ann, Ruth, John, Jude, and I prepped Saturday breakfast that amounted to pastries, fruit, cheeses, and sausages. Even with the fog and rain, we engaged in an all-camp contest wherein our group battled the others for the right to an evening off chores. There was a tug of war that ended with us covered in mud but victorious, a boot camp challenge course, and a scavenger hunt. The final test consisted of a trivia game before the last meal of the day.
“That’s not fair.” George spoke up as soon as the event was announced. “Jude has a photographic memory. How are any of us supposed to beat them?”
“Just because he has a photographic memory doesn’t mean he knows everything,” Dr. Antos said, and the game commenced.
In the end our team won the most challenges and came out the victors. Huddled around the heater waiting for dinner, we watched the water pouring from the sky.
“Maybe we should have asked for an extra hot shower instead of a chore-free night.” Beth Ann held her hands in front of the heating element. “Even with my dry clothes, I can’t get warm.”
“Is your hair wet?” Jude asked.
She felt her braid and unwound it, shaking out her hair in front of the heat. Doing the same, I sat with my back to the warm air cascading from the device.
“I wonder how they’ll pair us up,” I commented.
“It sucks that we’re changing tents too,” Ruth put in.
I’d had a pit in my stomach all day. “Maybe they’ll wait till the rain stops at least.”
“They’re going to be waiting till next week. Did you see the forecast?” John asked.
“No. Is it more rain?” I asked.
“For next seven days,” John lamented.
“That’s a bummer.” Jude stood, stretching his arms to the roof of the tent. “Hey, this is supposed to be our victory night. We should be having fun. Let’s get some music going.”
I walked to the table holding the amplifier and studied the buttons. Finding the power button, I switched it on. “Now we need a device.”
Opening a black case, Jude pulled a laptop out. “We should be able to stream something from this.”
Starting the computer, I realized it was password protected.
“I’ll go get a counselor.” John walked to the food prep area.
Within a minute, he returned with Allen trailing him. Once Allen keyed in the appropriate code, I navigated to a music application and started the music. Beth Ann grabbed John’s hand and pulled him into the space between the tables. I helped Allen and Jude make a bigger area by moving the tables to the edges of the tent.
“Just don’t make a mud mosh pit in here, okay?” Allen instructed. “I don’t want to move the whole eating tent in this weather.
Always too self-conscious, I’d never been a big dancer. I huddled over the laptop as the others moved around the heater in the center, shedding clothes as they got hot.
“What are you doing?” Jude’s hot breath on my cheek startled me.
“Making sure we have good tunes.” I pointed to the computer screen.
“You don’t like to dance?”
“Not really. I’m more of a wallflower type.”
He wrapped his hand around mine. “Your hands are still freezing. It’s great for warming up. Come on.” Cocking his head towards the others, he pulled me to the group.
I copied Beth Ann’s moves, swaying to the beat. As the other campers trickled in, the group grew bigger and bigger. Within half an hour, all the coats and sweaters were stacked on the tables, and we’d shed down to our tanks.
A hand wrapped around my waist, and I turned to see George beside me. He smiled a toothy smile and pulled me to him. “I heard the music was your idea.” The sweat from his chest penetrated my tank. I placed my hand on his stomach and pushed, but his arm had me pinned.
“Let me go.”
“We’re just dancing.” His hips swayed against mine, and I thought I might be sick. Scanning the crowd, I realized we were smack in the middle, and no one was paying attention.
“Let me go.” I slammed my foot into his.
His other arm wrapped around my back. “Like to play rough? I like it too,” he spat into my ear.
“Let go!” I screamed, but the music was so loud the words seemed lost in the beat. My mind reeled, searching for an out. When I looked up, Jude was behind George.
“She said let go.” Jude’s words were almost a growl. He gripped George’s biceps and spun him around. Towering over George, Jude’s eyes seemed to glow. “This is not how you treat a girl.”
“You’re just riled up because you want her to be your lady.” George spun his forearms, forcing Jude’s hands away.
“It doesn’t matter who I like. You can’t treat people that way.”
“Bugger off, Yank. This is between me and Camille.” George shoved Jude.
In a swift move, Jude captured George around the neck and started pushing him through the crowd. I chased after them as Jude forced George out of the tent and to the edge of the mesa. Hunter’s words echoed in my head. Theron killed Ganby.
“Jude, stop,” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
A few feet from the side, Jude stopped.
“Never force yourself on her again. Do you hear me?”
George’s arms turned red from the strain of pushing against Jude’s grip. He looked like an ant against a hundred-pound boulder.
“Jude, he gets it. Don’t kill him.” I tried to pry Jude’s arms from George.
Jude blinked, and his gaze landed on me. “What? I would never hurt anyone. I’m in total control. He just needs a little warning. Don’t you, George?” Jude pushed George to within a foot of the edge.
“I got it,” George squeaked out.
As Jude released George, I realized a crowd had gathered round.
“Nothing to see here, people.” Jude slipped through the crowd and into the darkness.
My hands trembled with fear as Allen appeared in front of me. “What happened?”
“That behemoth needs to be locked up. That’s what happened.” George straightened his shirt.
As the others dispersed, I told Allen what happened, and he escorted George to Dr. Antos’s office. A chill ran down my spine as the wind picked up, and I made my way back to the mess tent to retrieve my outer layers. As I slid on my jacket, I realized my hands were trembling. Jude’s intensity, the look in his eyes, reminded me of Theron and I blinked to clear his image from my thoughts.
A set of arms caught me from behind. “I heard you were the mastermind behind all this.” Frida smiled. “It was fabulous before, you know, the whole George, Jude thing.”
“It was Jude’s idea, more of a group effort.” I forced a smile.
The dinner bell sounded, and we realigned the tables. Searching the group, I saw no sign of Jude. In that moment, I was grateful. After his attack on George, I wasn’t sure I would be comfortable around Jude. His intensity scared me. Who knew what he was capable of?
“They’re going to separate all of us, you know that, right?” Frida said as we sat down with our plates of food.
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Can’t have anyone too comfortable. Gotta mix things up, push you to the edge of your comfort level so you give up all your ghosts.”
“Ghosts?”
Frida stuffed a bite into her mouth. “I would’ve said all the skeletons in your closet, but ghost fit better.”
“For everyone but me and Camille, that probably applies.” Jude set his plate beside me and lowered himself to the bench. “People need to be tested in a safe environment to get over their hang-ups.” He shrugged and put another bite in his mouth.
The Kingdom Journals Complete Series Box Set Page 36
