I nodded. “Let me ask again… How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been feeling sicker at night, but overall, I can’t complain. Your mother takes good care of me.”
“Her cooking would cure any ailment.”
“It’s not just her cooking.” He winked.
“Excuse me while I go throw up.”
“You know your father’s a horn dog,” my mother said from behind me. She had apparently been standing at the door.
Like father, like son. Wasn’t it my dick that ultimately led me to The Iguana the other night? Infatuation is like an addiction.
Granted, I wouldn’t characterize my feelings for Farrah as an addiction at Dad’s level. But so far, I hadn’t been able to shake her from my thoughts. I wished it were easier to forget about her.
“Hey, Dad. Let me ask you something.”
“What is it, son?”
“I know you have the best of intentions when it comes to stopping the gambling, but how exactly do you plan to do it? I mean, you say you’re gonna get help and you won’t do it again, but if something is that difficult to resist, how do you really know you can stop?”
Asking for a friend.
He sighed. “I don’t have any guarantees that I won’t slip. I just pray to God that I can do it. The main thing is keeping myself out of the atmosphere that would trigger me. That means never stepping foot into a casino again. There’s still online gambling, of course, but that was never my thing. There’s nothing like the rush of being at the tables. Undoubtedly, it’s not going to be easy, but I suppose you have to get to a point where you’re willing to experience suffering in order to do what’s best for your family.”
Nodding silently, I soaked up my dad’s words. They reminded me of a show I used to watch, Intervention, where drug addicts were confronted by family members about going to treatment. At least half the time the person featured in the show relapsed. Addictions were hard to break, even if everything was on the line. And I worried whether my need to protect Nathan would be enough to keep me away from Farrah. I could relate to being tempted into self-destructive behavior, even if it hurt people. Dad had a point, though, about keeping yourself out of the environment. Maybe I needed to consider moving out of Nathan’s as soon as he found a job.
My mother interrupted my thoughts. “Did Nathan ever call Jack McGrath about the Ford dealership position?”
Speak of the devil. “I gave him the information. He told me he would. I hope it works out. He’s been really down about not having a job.”
“Well, tell him to think positively and it will happen.”
I chuckled. “You sound like Farrah.”
“Why is that?”
“When I told her about Muldoon’s financial situation, that’s exactly what she told me—to imagine that coming up with the money would be easy and somehow I could manifest it.”
“Smart girl,” my mother said. “Sounds like she’s learned to turn lemons into lemonade over the years. That’s the difference between someone who says ‘woe is me’ when they’re dealt something unfair versus a person who perseveres. A great attitude is everything.”
“Well, I know she’s hiding a lot of pain,” I said. “But she does the best she can. She tries to be strong for Nathan.”
“You said she’s not in college, right?”
“No. She’s not.”
“You should encourage her to enroll.”
That’s right, Jace. You should be mentoring her, trying to get her in school...not stalking her and fantasizing about sleeping with her.
“Maybe I will. I know she took some classes at the community college, but that’s not the same. She has this law firm secretarial job that pays decently, considering she doesn’t have a degree. It’s enough to get by, but I think she knows she’s limiting her potential by not continuing her education.”
Mom nodded. “I would imagine with Nathan out of a job, she’ll be even more reluctant to think about quitting for the time being.”
“Yeah, even though he shouldn’t be her responsibility, I think he impacts a lot of her decisions. She likely would’ve moved away to go to school were it not for wanting to be here for him.”
“Maybe now you can be there for him, so she doesn’t have to be so much.” She smiled. “I’m biased in saying that, though. I was always happy that you had a chance to get out of Florida for a while, but I hope you’ll consider staying here this time. I can’t imagine living away from my only child forever.”
Cue the guilt trip.
“I can’t make any promises, Ma.”
“I understand. I know you loved your life in Charlotte.”
“Well, don’t underestimate the need to be around family. As much as I did love Charlotte, I was alone out there.” I laughed. “But if your family is a pain in the ass, that can be a good thing.” I looked over at my dad and raised an eyebrow.
“I hope we can somehow convince you to stay,” she said.
“I think a lot of that is going to be contingent upon whether or not I behave,” my father chimed in.
“Damn straight, old man.”
I was more concerned about whether or not he would survive the cancer. But I didn’t want him to know how worried I was. No matter how things with the company played out, I wouldn’t be leaving Palm Creek until I knew he was okay.
• • •
Road construction meant I had to take another route home from my parents’ house that evening. That wouldn’t have been a problem, except it forced me to take a path I typically avoided with all my might—the road where the robbery had happened seven years ago. I’d managed to bypass that stretch of road all this time, and now a detour had cruelly led me there.
My hands began to shake as I passed the spot where Farrah’s parents were murdered. I stepped on the accelerator to get through as quickly as possible. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I gripped the wheel.
When I finally made it past, my pulse slowed.
So much of everything in life was out of sight, out of mind. I’d somehow managed to compartmentalize things, even while living with Nathan and Farrah. Maybe it was easier because they didn’t live in the same house as they used to. But driving on that road had brought that terrible memory to the forefront. All the things I never wanted to remember flashed through my head: Elizabeth’s screams as her husband was shot dead. The smell of the gunfire as she was killed shortly after. The horrible aftermath as I called 911. I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy.
By the time I got back to the house, my nerves were shot. It felt like I’d run a marathon with a load of bricks on my back.
I made it inside but stayed in the kitchen, staring at the wall for a while. My mood brightened a bit when I caught the smile on Nathan’s face as he entered the house. He was wearing a dress shirt and tie, which was odd.
“What’s up?” I asked.
He spun around. “You’re looking at the newest sales associate at Billings Ford.”
I beamed. “You got it?”
“I did.”
Smacking him on the shoulder, I said, “Congratulations, man. My mother was just asking me about it, and I told her I didn’t even know if you’d called.”
“Called this morning, and they told me to come in this afternoon for an interview. Hired me on the spot.”
“Well, that’s the best damn news I’ve heard all day.”
He examined my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You seemed like you were down when I first walked in.”
“Just work-related stress,” I lied. “That’s all.”
Imagine if I’d admitted everything that was bothering me today—not only the fact that I’d driven by the site where his parents were murdered, but also that I felt guilty because I came hard last night while imagining his little sister’s ass. Yeah. That probably wouldn’t go over too well.
“Let’s go grab a bite, get your mind off things,” he said. “To celebrate my new job, t
oo. I don’t know where Farrah is, but no need to wait around.”
As much as I wanted to flee, because being around Nathan put me on edge, I forced myself to do the opposite. Nathan deserved better than a friend who wouldn’t celebrate his new job with him. Plus, it would be more time away from the house and a way to avoid a run-in with Farrah tonight.
I smiled. “You know what, man? That sounds really good. Let’s go.”
Nathan and I went to Applebee’s and enjoyed burgers and beers. We reminisced about our childhood. I even made a point to flirt back with the waitress to further deflect from what was going on in my head about Farrah. At least on the surface, it seemed like everything was normal. But inside, I still felt like I was on the brink of messing up.
• • •
When we returned to the house, Farrah was sprawled out on the couch watching television, wearing nothing but a bikini top and short shorts.
Fuck me.
Really? I manage to avoid her for days, and this is how she’s dressed the first time I see her again?
“It’d be nice if you put some freaking clothes on,” Nathan said.
I swallowed hard.
“I thought I was alone.” She sat up. “Where were you guys?”
“Applebee’s. Celebrating,” he added with a smile.
“Celebrating what?”
“I got the dealership job!”
Her tits bounced as she got up from the couch. Jesus. I forced my eyes away.
She pulled Nathan into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. That’s the best news ever. I wish I had known you were going out to celebrate. I would’ve joined.”
“Well, you weren’t home, and it was an impromptu decision,” he said.
“I’m so happy!” She patted him on the back.
“Thanks. I gotta take a piss,” Nathan said, brushing past her to walk through the kitchen to the bathroom.
It took a few seconds for me to realize I hadn’t moved, and that I was gawking again. Farrah smiled as she stood in front of me, seeming to appreciate my admiration of her body. Had I always been this obvious? In the past, I’d thought I’d only snuck looks at her, but maybe I hadn’t been so slick. Maybe she’d noticed all along.
Clearing my throat, I said, “You should put some clothes on.”
Her chest heaved. “Because you like looking at me?”
Yes. “It doesn’t matter what I like.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” she whispered.
The sound of Nathan’s footsteps approaching caused my body to jerk into motion. Walking past Farrah, I headed straight to the main bathroom. I tore my clothes off and turned on the cold water. Getting in, I let the shower rain down over me, praying it would wash away my guilt.
Chapter 9
* * *
Farrah
I’d just gotten home from work when the doorbell rang.
Peeking through the peephole, I saw Nora holding a stack of pita bread.
I opened. “Is that for me?”
“I need something to spread on it. We don’t have anything at my house. My mom needs to go shopping.”
“Come on in.”
Nora’s uncle owned a Middle Eastern bakery nearby. She told me he got up at, like, two in the morning to bake bread and often had so much of it, he’d drop a pile off on their doorstep a few times a week. She shared it with me frequently because she and her mother had a surplus in their freezer. Although, she never seemed to have anything to eat it with.
I walked over to the fridge. “What did you have in mind? Cream cheese…peanut butter?”
“What about butter?”
“That sounds good. We can warm the bread first, make it nice and toasty.”
She rubbed her belly as she took a seat at the counter. “Yum.”
“I thought your mom told you not to leave the house,” I said as I opened the package of bread.
“She did. But I don’t think she would mind me being here.”
“Okay, but can you text her that you’re here so she knows?”
Nora nodded and pulled out her phone.
I took out some of the pita and popped it into the toaster oven. “How was school today?”
Nora shrugged. “It was okay.”
“Learn anything interesting?”
“Not really,” she muttered.
I chuckled. I used to give my mother the same kind of answer when she’d ask me. She used to pressure me to think of one thing I’d learned, and never accepted my original answer of “nothing much.”
“Why do you look sad?” Nora asked.
“I do? I didn’t realize that. I just remembered something that made me a little nostalgic.” I shook the thought from my head. “Anyway, what else is new with you?”
“Not much. How’s Jace?”
I still regretted telling her about my crush, so I skirted her question. “How’s Shawn?”
“He still doesn’t know I’m alive.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes that can be better than the reality. He can never hurt you if he doesn’t know you exist.”
She looked over at the toaster oven. “The bread is gonna burn.”
Shit! I jumped. “You’re right. Thank you.”
Having retrieved the bread just in the nick of time, I buttered it. The comfort I took in devouring that warm bread dripping with butter was just what the doctor ordered.
“This is really delicious,” I said with my mouth full. “Thanks for bringing it.”
“Thanks for being home so I didn’t have to eat it alone.” Nora grinned. “And for the butter.”
“You’re always welcome over here. I just like it when you ask permission first.”
“Can we go swimming?”
I stopped chewing for a moment. “I suppose, but you’d have to ask your mom if it’s okay.”
She texted her mother again. After a moment, her phone dinged with a response and she frowned.
“Mom wants me to go home and do my homework instead. She says she doesn’t want to be worrying about me swimming while she’s at work.”
I felt bad for Nora but could understand her mother’s concern. “I’ll tell you what, maybe we can ask your mom to come over one of these weekends with you. I bet she’d be more comfortable with you swimming in the pool if she was here to watch.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Still looking sad, she hopped down from her seat. “Well, I’d better go.”
“Cheer up. Get your homework done so you can relax.”
She waved. “Bye, Farrah.”
After the door closed behind her, I let out a long sigh. Nora didn’t have it easy being left alone so much; she deserved some fun.
A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door. I looked at the rest of the pita on the counter and figured Nora had come back for it. But my heart dropped the second I opened the door because it wasn’t Nora—it was that angry man, James, the guy who’d come to the house before, looking for the money Muldoon Construction owed him.
My heart pounded as I shut the door halfway, with only my head peeking out. “How can I help you?”
“You can help me by telling me where the fuck Jace is. I just went to his office, but he’s not there. I want my fucking money, and I’m not waiting another day for it.”
My voice was shaky. “Listen...I totally understand how you feel. The company is in a bit of a predicament, and I know he’s doing everything in his power to—”
“I said, I want my fucking money!” he shouted. “And I’m not leaving until I get it.”
“Okay, well, I can’t let you inside, so…”
“That’s fine. I’ll wait right fucking here until he gets back.”
Fear consumed me. What exactly was he going to do if Jace couldn’t come up with the money?
Just then Jace’s truck appeared, screeching to a halt in front of the house. He didn’t even bother to pull into the driveway properly before he slammed the door and ran toward us.
His anger was initially directed towar
d me as he panted. “I told you not to open the fucking door!”
“I thought it was Nora. She was just here a second ago. It’s the only reason I didn’t check.”
He turned to James. “You have no right coming here.”
“I’m not leaving until I get my money.”
Jace scrubbed a hand over his face and blew out a long breath. “Get in your car and follow me to the bank on Wheeler Street.”
James huffed and reluctantly got back into his vehicle. Adrenaline coursed through me as they both took off because I still wasn’t sure what was happening. Was Jace going to take money out of his own account? Would James pull something if Jace couldn’t come up with the full amount?
I spent the next half hour worrying my head off about what was happening down at the bank.
When Jace’s truck finally pulled into the driveway and I could see he was safe, I let out a huge sigh of relief. I opened the front door and waited for him at the threshold.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as he approached.
He ignored my question and glared at me as he entered the house. “What did I tell you about opening the door when you’re home alone, Farrah?”
“I told you, the only reason I answered was because Nora had just left. I assumed it was her—that she forgot something. It was bad luck. If I’d known it was him, I wouldn’t have opened.”
“He didn’t touch you, did he?”
“No. He didn’t lay a hand on me.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I opened the door.”
Jace expelled a long, slow breath and seemed to calm down. “It’s okay. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“What happened at the bank?”
“It’s taken care of.”
“How?”
“I gave him his twenty grand.”
“From your own account?”
“Yeah. It sucks, but I want him to leave us alone.”
It didn’t surprise me that Jace had enough money in his account to pay James back. I knew his job in Charlotte had paid well, and he didn’t seem to blow away money.
“I was so worried about you.” I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. I rubbed my thumb along his stubble.
The Crush Page 9
