He waved a hand and pasted on a badly faked smile. “Do not worry, we will figure the lightning thing out. I am sure there is an explanation in the archives.”
When it looked like he was going to say more, I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I don’t mean the lightning, Ty, I mean us. I know you want to do right by the Council, or kennari code, or whatever it is that makes you keep your distance. And I get that. But I also think maybe there’s something between us, something good. I want to let you know, I’m willing to wait until after the verða, if that’s what it takes.”
Somewhere in the middle of my breathless ramble, his gaze locked onto mine and didn’t let go. The depth of emotion in his blue eyes staggered me. “Gods know, I do not want to wait another second to be with you. But, yes, that is exactly what we must do. We are worth the wait; you are worth the wait,” he said.
Knowing there might be a future for us sent a thrill through me so powerful that it tried to stir my wolf. Out of necessity, I let go and stepped back. A few deep breaths helped me regain control. I looked around the stone patio where the barbeque and bar sat, then up to the back deck.
“Do you have a sound system out here?” I asked.
He nodded and pointed out a few speakers that looked like landscaping rocks.
“Mind if I grab my music?” I asked.
His eyes lit up and he sat a bit straighter on his stool. “Go ahead. That sounds great.”
I stood. “Not worried about my taste in music?”
The easy grin that came to his lips heated my blood. “You have great taste in music. Which reminds me, you should hear Kaleo. They are an Icelandic group that sings bluesy music. I think you would like them.” His words heated it even more.
I loved that he had thought about this enough to recommend an artist to me. Not to mention, I loved finding new artists to get into. I returned his smile and started down the path that wound through the side yard of the house. When Raul got in my Jeep that fateful night he hadn’t exactly liked my music, said it was too ancient. The one time I rode in that sleek sports car of his he’d been playing classical music—like Bach classical. To each his own, I guess, but it was really nice to know Ty could appreciate blues. There was something about a man that liked blues music that really did it for me. I hated that I was comparing Ty to Raul, not because Raul couldn’t stand up to him in any way, but because of what I feared it meant. It had to stop. Years had passed since I’d been a college freshman prone to swooning, and I wasn’t about to return to that. Hot for teacher I might be, but I was an adult. I would do this right, so if it did develop into something more, it had a chance of succeeding.
The smile remained on my face even as I left Ty’s sight. On one hand, I didn’t like what that might mean, on the other, it was nice to be happy for once. Even if it that small measure of happiness was derived from something as simple as good company at a backyard barbeque. I hadn’t relaxed and hung out with someone like this since early on in college, and it felt good. Sure, we were chatting about werewolf politics and immigration, but hey, I would take what happiness I could get.
The sweet, almost cloying scent of roses drifted to me as I came around the front of the house. No rose bushes grew here. With my heightened sense of smell I would have located any on the property by now. My steps slowed as I breathed deep through my nose. I didn’t smell anyone but Ty and my own lingering scent around the place. Still, icy dread raised bumps along the exposed skin of my arms and legs. Tucked under the driver’s side windshield wiper of my Jeep was a bouquet of red roses. Surely Ty wouldn’t have left me such a thing, not red at least. Not yet. That left only one other person. Teeth clenched, I stormed up to the vehicle and tore the bouquet from it. Nestled inside all the red buds was a five-inch-long white box, and a card.
My shaking fingers took a few tries to open the velvet-covered box. On a bed of satin sat a bracelet of gold X’s and O’s. Diamonds—half a carat each at least—dotted the O’s. At over eight of them, I couldn’t even imagine what the thing must have cost. The tiny hope that this was from Ty dashed away like spilled salt. He would never choose something so ostentatious and impersonal. To some a beautiful bracelet like this probably had deep meaning, but not to Raul and me. Quite the opposite, if anything. We had never professed any feelings for each other besides attraction, which made this a mockery of what should have been. I opened the card.
Dear Sonya,
You’re in my thoughts every day. I hate that I’m not the one there with you, helping you through this. Please be careful of Ty. Don’t trust him. He’s an outcast, and among our kind there is no greater shame than being cast from your pack. He wasn’t willing to stand up and take charge, make things change. I promise, once this is over and we’re back together I will give you everything you have ever desired. Until then, I hope you’ll accept this bracelet as a symbol of my dedication to you. I will spend the rest of our lives making it up to you for how all this happened if you will let me.
Raul
The chill on my skin turned into a slow burn that started to build until it felt as though I was boiling from within. My hand crushed the card into a tight ball and a scream blew between my clenched teeth. The box snapped, popped, and shattered, falling through my fingers in pieces of wood, velvet and satin. Diamonds cut into my palm and expensive gold bent to the shape of my fingers. My strength surprised me on some sublevel that existed below my rage. I dropped the card and bracelet and tore the roses into tiny bits of red petals, thorns, and green stems. Through a haze of moisture I refused to acknowledge as tears, I saw Ty running around the corner of the house at what seemed like light speed. I couldn’t look at him, didn’t want him to see me so out of control. Gaze falling to my hands, I realized it wasn’t just the diamonds that had cut me. Claws grew out from where my fingernails had been, wicked sharp and dripping my own blood. Inside my mouth my tongue brushed across fangs. And that wasn’t all—colors were changing as well, scents growing impossibly stronger. My body started shaking.
The hint of madness waiting at the edge of my mind whispered to me. At least it wasn’t an all-out scream. Still, fear coursed through me as I realized I had lost control too much to avoid shifting. And I so wasn’t ready, not like this, not because of him. “Ty, help,” I cried in a voice that was more growl than anything.
“Oh no, Sonya.”
He grabbed my hands. I could barely see him through the dark haze of my rage. Then I was in his arms, pressed against his chest. I think he was telling me to breathe, to think of the reasons, but I could barely breathe let alone think of anything. He tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine in a hot line that scorched down deep inside of me. Gently, his lips urged mine open and his tongue slid between my fangs, inside my mouth. The amazing sensation of his tongue tangling with mine obliterated my rage like a tsunami taking out everything in its path. The hard lines of his incredible body pressed against mine swept me away from the brink and safely back into control. Of my anger at least.
My hands snaked around his back, and I couldn’t stop them. No, I wouldn’t stop them. I’d had it with resisting my attraction to him. This felt too good, too right. Our tongues thrust in and out of each other’s mouths as if we could lap one another up. His full lips devoured me as much as mine tried to devour him. The heat coursing through my body changed, became desire. The desire grew and grew until it felt like it was trying to consume us both. Moaning into his mouth, I rubbed my hard nipples against his chest and pressed my stomach to his erection. Our desire felt hot enough to burn our clothes away. I wished with all my being that it would.
Tongue withdrawing, he pulled back before I did, leaving me gasping and wanting so much more.
“Sorry. I did not mean to take liberties, but I did not know what else to do to bring you back from the edge,” he said as he turned away.
Staring down at my fingernails that only moments ago had been claws, I stammered out a reply. “It’s all right. I…I needed that. I mean, I couldn�
�t have gotten it back under control alone.” Had he not felt the desire as strongly as I did?
Though he remained close, he no longer touched me, and I kind of hated that. At the same time, I knew if he did, I would risk losing control of another emotion.
“You have been doing so well. I did not think even something like this could rattle you,” he said.
Gravel ground under his bare feet and I realized he was retrieving the bracelet and card. Amazed that I didn’t feel any pain, I turned my hands over to look at my palms. The cuts had already healed.
“He’s trying to buy my affection now. That’s something I can’t stand. My father did that crap when I was a kid, sent me gifts from prison as if that could make up for him not being there.”
I really hadn’t meant to say that. And I instantly felt guilty for it, especially now that I knew he hadn’t gone to prison because of a drug deal gone bad—but because he had killed a man who had tried to kidnap me.
“Gods, Sonya, I am so sorry. I will get the son of a bitch that left this,” Ty snapped as he turned away.
I snagged his arm, stopping him with a strength that surprised me. “Please don’t leave me alone.” More words that I hadn’t meant to say. Damn but my control was really off today.
Jaw opening, I prepared to take the words back, but I couldn’t. I was afraid to be left alone right now. “What if that’s what they want? To lure you away from me,” I said so softly only a varúlfur’s sensitive hearing would pick it up.
The fear that shook my voice made me feel weak, pathetic, and that began to stir my anger back up. It must have shown on my face because Ty nodded and took a step toward me. His hand found mine and locked around it. My anger melted away beneath the heat of his ice-blue eyes. The protective look in them stunned me.
“Sometimes you make me wonder who the teacher here is, Sonya,” he said through the barest hint of a smile.
I made an attempt to smile back. “Thanks, I think.”
Still holding onto my hand, he started for the side yard. “Come on. We should get our steaks and go watch that movie.”
Gripping his hand tighter, I nodded and ground rose petals beneath my shoe. Despite my lingering anger, I thrilled at the feeling of Ty’s big hand wrapped around mine. I was still determined to enjoy this evening. The kiss made me believe what we had could really be worth something. As much as I wanted to fall into bed with him, taking it slow so I didn’t screw this up and get myself killed was too important. All Raul’s warnings and talk about not trusting Ty made me realize he was afraid I would get too close to him. It almost made me smile when I realized his insecurities had brought about the very thing he feared. Served him right.
Chapter Nineteen
Sonya
Anger management went well over the next two days. Too well, really. The better I got to know Ty, the harder it was for him to make me mad. And the harder it became for both of us to resist our attraction. We sat up late each night watching horror movies, most of which involved vampires. It struck me as hilarious, a werewolf who was a fan of vampire movies. He enjoyed how the irony made me laugh, and as much as I hated to admit it even to myself, I liked that he enjoyed making me laugh. During the day when we weren’t training we walked around his expansive acreage and he told me stories about the history of the area. I loved listening to him talk. If I’d had professors like him in college, I might have gone to class a lot more, and I definitely wouldn’t have taken a semester off. Of course, I might have gotten far more distracted as well.
While I thought it was the growing friendship with Ty that made it hard to get mad at him, he claimed I was simply getting that good. My fighting skills, not so much. We added other tactics to the sparring sessions for the next two days, such as having me focus on Raul, talk about him, how I felt about what he’d done to me. It worked at first, enraging me almost to the point where I lost control of my wolfy side. After the first day, though, understanding the reasons for my anger allowed me to control it, even where Raul was concerned. My resolve to attend his trial remained as strong as ever. While Ty didn’t think Raul had anything to do with changing Candice, I wasn’t so sure. I needed to see him not only pay for what he did to me, but make sure he never did it to anyone else again. Despite the fact that I was starting to enjoy the heightened senses, the increased strength and stamina, even the burn of power beneath my skin, the fact remained that Raul had taken my choice from me. For that he had to pay.
Trapped beneath Ty’s body after he executed a particularly impressive leg sweep on me, I realized the problem. How could I not? Its clear blue eyes bore a hole straight through me. The press of all that muscle against my thin tank top and mostly bare legs made me dizzy. Pink lips with the slightly raised ridge lining them drew me in, making me want to lick, bite, and suck on them. All right, it wasn’t really his lips I was thinking about at this point. By the feel of the hard line pushing against my groin, it became clear I wasn’t the only one feeling the effects.
“I think I know what the problem is,” I said between labored breaths.
It came out sounding as horny as I felt, but at the moment, I didn’t care.
Ty smiled and ran his hand along my jawline. “Too many clothes?” he suggested in a voice deepened by desire.
My traitorous eyes fluttered closed but I forced them back open as I fought the instinct to lean into his hand. Just when I thought he might be serious, the pressure of his body against mine disappeared. One moment he lay on top of me, the next he stood over me, offering me his hand. I accepted it, not because I needed it, but because I wanted to touch him. Which led me right back to the problem.
“Precisely,” I said as I stood and brushed pine needles from my jogging shorts with my free hand.
His guilt-filled eyes widened. “I am sorry. I should not have said that.”
“No, Ty. I’m sick of fighting what might be between us, and sick of wondering if it’s just the verða heightening my desire,” I said, keeping my tone as matter-of-fact as I could. The last part wouldn’t come out, the part about how I was terrified of going mad and sick to death of the fear. I thought I had it beat, but there was only one way to be sure.
Those delicious lips quirked up. “That is not how it works.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “It might be. The verða is heightening my desire, so I need to master it.”
Shaking his head, Ty walked over and grabbed a towel that hung from a tree branch. Beads of sweat trickled down between his pectoral muscles, making me want to follow them with my tongue. His arms and chest flexed as he wiped sweat from his forehead and the back of his neck. The reaction it stirred deep in my center only confirmed my suspicions of this being a hormonal imbalance.
“Once you have mastered your strongest emotion, you hold the key to mastering them all. And anger was definitely your strongest emotion,” he said.
From a nearby stone table, he picked up two water bottles and handed me one. “You think the verða is the reason for your desire, yes?”
I accepted the water bottle and took a long drink. When I lowered it he stepped deep into my personal space. Knowing a lesson was coming, I resisted the urge to step back and instead craned my neck to look up at him. Moments like this reminded me of how tall he was. This close his body heat radiated from him, reaching out to me as if it could draw me in. He caught a drop of water that lingered on my bottom lip and spread it across my mouth, teasing the edge of my teeth as he almost pushed his finger inside. Just like that I grew wet. Nostrils flaring as he took in my scent, his eyes fluttered closed.
“No, maybe, I don’t know,” I breathed. “Well, the reason it’s so strong, maybe.”
His finger moved from my lips to my arm, tracing a line down it that burned deep into me in the most wonderful way.
“Then knowing the reason, you should be able to control it, to banish it like you can the anger.”
As he spoke his finger traced its way back up the inside of my arm to my waist, running upward
until it outlined the edge of my breast. My nipples hardened in an instant, aching for much more than a grazing touch.
He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “So banish it.”
The feel of his breath against the sensitive skin of my ear set me on fire, making me wetter without so much as a touch. A slight groan slid from him as he took in a deep breath through his nose. Gods the sound was sexy, especially knowing the scent of my arousal was what caused it. Damn him. I wanted to tear his clothes off, throw him down, and ride him right there on the lawn. No, no I didn’t, it was the verða making me horny as a teenager. Focusing on that reason, I attempted to fight the desire. When it didn’t work, I took a step back.
“It’s not working,” I gasped.
Oddly, my skin had not begun to burn, or even hum, and my fangs hadn’t extended.
Ty took a step toward me. “Maybe because the verða is not causing it,” he said in a deep, terribly sexy voice that held a hint of hope in it.
I took another step back. Putting on my best haughty look, I placed a hand on my hip. “What? You think I’m just falling for you?”
I had only known the man thirteen days, less time than I had known Raul before I’d made the near-fatal mistake of letting him get too close. I would not allow myself to make that mistake again. The verða messed with me in so many ways. If my feelings for Ty was one of them, I needed to know before I let myself tumble down that rabbit hole.
A grin easily as sexy as his lusty voice tempted me to step into him. He began to trace his hand up my arm again. “I did not say that. Maybe you only want to ravage me.”
Shaking my head, I pulled my arm away from his touch. But I didn’t step back; I couldn’t bring myself to. This had been a lot easier when he’d been fighting his desire as much as I had. “Despite what you might think of me because of my monumental mistake with Raul, I don’t do casual sex. It’s part of why I didn’t have sex with him,” I said.
Bitten & Beholden (Children of Fenrir Book 2) Page 19
