by Amber Lynn
"Is it my birthday by any chance and I just don't know it?" Nate had been a little weird all day, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something.
"I'm pretty sure your birthday hasn't changed. I just thought it was time for you to learn something new."
"The king of wanting me to live in the dark as far as my powers goes wants me to play around with them. I'm not going to question this gift anymore right now, but don't think I'm not smart enough to figure out something is going on." I looked in his eyes for any hint of acknowledgement that I was on to something, but nothing in his eyes changed.
"Stop being paranoid about my ulterior motives and get ready to have some fun."
"Okay, so where do we start?" I asked.
I was a little nervous that something would be wrong with me, and changing wouldn't be possible. Nate had said he'd accept me as a squirrel, but would he really still love me if I couldn't change at all?
"It would probably help if you weren't so excited. We're dealing with fire, you know." He was smiling, which elevated some of the queasiness in my stomach.
"I doubt you'll get me less excited, or nervous. I do have a question, though. If my parents didn't know who I actually was, why didn't they ever teach me this? In fact, why didn't they ever tell me I was a phoenix?" I asked.
I'd been wondering that for a while. It seemed mean of them to just let me think I was a human. Maybe mean was the wrong word, but I didn't like the fact that I didn't know.
"You have memories of two of your children now, you should know the answer to that," he responded.
"I do, but it doesn't totally make sense to me. Why do we wait until the kids are thirty before letting them in on our little secret? It seems kind of callous to let them go through that many years feeling something inside them that they can't explain." I said.
"It's funny you say that. When you get more memories back, or at least on that particular subject, I think you should ask yourself that question. I'll plead the fifth for now. I'm sure you know there are ways to limit their powers, so the kids don't necessarily know they are missing out on anything."
"I do, but it's all confusing. You better hope I get the rest of these memories back soon. I'm getting really tired of having to wait for answers." If he wasn't fixing to teach me the new trick, I'd probably be grumpier.
"I know, but I don't want to tell you something you don't remember and have you doubt what I say is true. Let's get back to the practice. I think we'll start with the internal warming you were so jealous of me and Rick doing," he said.
"That's a good idea. I'm tired of looking like a yeti while everyone else is in jeans and a t-shirt. How do I not boil myself when I try to do it? I was able to make a heat wall during the fight with Alex, and that worked well, but there might be times I don't want to share my heat."
"Well, first, boiling yourself is impossible to do. You can't warm yourself enough that it would actually do you any harm. You may warm yourself so that it's noticeable to others and for that you need to learn to regulate it, but otherwise there isn't a thing you can actually do wrong," he stated.
"Okay, so what, just think warm thoughts?" I asked.
Everything else I could do, I just thought it and it happened. The only reason I hadn't tried it with that skill was because I'd been afraid to cause permanent damage. I guessed in the future I might as well just wing things.
"Let's begin with you closing your eyes," he said as I followed directions. "Picture yourself in a nice warm bath."
"All right, me in the bath, got it. Don't think I didn't notice you chose an option that has me sans clothing," I commented.
I saw me in a tub with the water super warm, just the way I liked it. I added some bubble bath to the water just for fun. It made me feel less naked, and helped cover things if Nate was tuning in, which I was certain he was.
"Imagine how the water warms you. How you feel it from your head to your toes. It's so nice and warm you don't want to get out," he instructed in a hypnotic voice.
"Yup, definitely staying in the tub," I said.
"Now, I think you need to turn the water temperature down just a tad because your skin is starting to turn pink."
"What?" I screeched, coming out of my trancelike state. I looked down and sure enough my skin had started to change colors. "So I did it? All I have to do is think about a warm bath and I can heat myself?"
"That's the method I thought would be easiest for you. Like I said, you're going to have to work on regulating how much heat you generate, but you shouldn't have any problems with that. In the future, you won't need to close your eyes. I just had you do that to make it easier to concentrate."
"Awesome, you made it seem like it was something I'd finally find difficult," I said, working on adjusting the heat. I settled on warm apple pie temperature.
"If I scared you into waiting, I got to be around when you were picturing yourself naked, not that I don't know what that already looks like. So, now that you can control the fire within you, let's work on turning you into that fire," he said, hurrying to get away from the subject of my clothing. "This will be more difficult, and like I mentioned before, the fire will touch you briefly, but don't be afraid of it."
"Okay, I think I remember what I saw when you transformed for me."
"I thought about giving you another demonstration before I explained things to you, but with the whole clothes disappearing in between shapes, I decided against it," he said.
"Good idea," I replied, ready to try shifting.
"A lot of movies and books act like people who shift forms have two beings living inside of them that can actually converse with each other. I know you saw a fox inside of Miranda, but it's really not a separate being. It's just a projection we keep locked inside to aid us in shifting.
"For a normal shifter they just think of that spot in their mind and they can change forms. For us, it's a little different. We have to increase our temperature to be able to let the phoenix out."
"Even I have a projection just sitting in my head?" I asked. "You would've thought I might have noticed it at one point during my life."
"I doubt you've thought to search your head for a phoenix hanging out. It should be similar to the foxes, though. Take a second and look around until you can find it. Once you do, we can proceed," he said as I began my search.
I started looking around and was having trouble finding the thing. I tried looking where I found the foxes, but I didn't see anything there. I dove in deeper and finally found it in something that looked like a glass display case with a mirrored back. The projection reminded me a lot of what Nate looked like, but I saw the black star he described marking me as different.
"Um, is there a reason she's in a case?" I asked. I didn't remember either of the foxes being in one.
"No, that would be something different. I don't think you've ever kept it in one before. You must be giving the projection a level of importance to see it encased. Usually they're just kind of floating around," he said. Maybe my projection was just vain and needed to look in the mirror often.
"You're going to have that checked out, right?" I asked. "I know when anything weird happens with me, you get Rick to consult his people, who evidently are the keepers of the sacred texts."
"Yes, I'll have Rick look to see if there's any significance of a projection being on display," he replied.
"I have to say, if that's what I look like as a phoenix, I'm pretty hot. No wonder you have problems keeping your hands off of me," I joked.
He laughed. "Yeah, my mate is the fairest in all the land. Are you done gazing at your beauty? I think it's time to proceed."
"I'm as ready as I'll ever be. What do I need to do?" I asked, still concentrating on my caged bird.
"It's time to turn the heat up in your little bath. Picture fire around you and try to raise your temperature to a couple hundred degrees," he instructed.
"If you say so. That sounds kind of painful to me." I pictured turning the knob on a stove until
a wall of fire surrounded me and I felt the heat.
"You'll be fine. You should be hot enough now. Think of the spot you found your phoenix and picture yourself looking like it," he explained.
I concentrated on the phoenix and thought of how pretty I'd be if I were her. Before long I felt a little change and heard metal fall to the ground. I opened my eyes to see me floating in the air with fiery wings and a long beautiful tail that was a mix of every shade between red and yellow.
"Yara, you are beyond beautiful. I've never forgotten how true that is," Nate told me telepathically, using my original name. "Do you mind if I change as well? Then we can do a little flight training."
"Please do," I responded while I got used to having wings. The clothing issue was forgotten, because of the miracle of me being a bird. He quickly changed and looked exactly like I remembered.
"Okay, it's pretty simple and I have to think you've remembered a little bit about how it works, since you didn't crash to the ground when you transformed," he told me. "Watch me and try to do as I do."
He shot up about five feet into the air; too bad we were inside, because I was sure he'd light up the sky. I followed by flapping my wings, making twists and turns as I tried to catch up.
"You ready to take this dance to the night sky?" he asked after he was sure I had the hang of it.
"I thought you'd never ask," I said as I followed him out of the hanger. When we got up high above the ground, I had to admit that he and Rick were right. I loved flying under my own power.
"I knew you would. I don't think it will reveal too much to tell you that we went out at least once a week in our previous lives, just so you could stretch your wings," he told me after reading my thoughts.
We continued to dance around in the air until he reminded me people were waiting for us down below. I didn't want the fun to end. Up in the air, it felt like nothing else mattered. Nate had told me that's how it was, but I couldn't understand it until I experienced it for myself.
"So, about the whole changing back and not having any clothes issue," I said as we made it back into the hanger. I found myself flying slower the closer we got to having to change back.
"No worries. When I left you with Frannie earlier, I first asked Rick if he was okay with it being only you and me at your change. Then I grabbed you some clothes. They're over on that shelf," he said, pointing to the corner.
"And just where are you going to be while I am changing?" I asked.
"I put my stuff on the other side of the hanger, so don't worry. I know you like your privacy." He was flying away to change before he'd finished his thought.
I went to my corner. Not having been told how to change back, I thought of my humanoid body and thankfully that did the trick. I threw the clothes on quickly and went to pick up my knives that had clattered to the floor earlier. I wondered what would happen to them when the fire touched them. They were a little warped, but not so much that they were unusable.
Nate grabbed me and issued a solid kiss to my lips. "You did really well. Next time you have to fight a warlock, you'll have another weapon in your arsenal."
As we walked back to Elizabeth's, I started wondering if I could pick up an opponent with my talons and drop them from a high elevation. Too bad I'd already had my fight with the bad guy, because I really wanted to try that out.
