One look into his eyes told her that. The cool blue was glinting with too many emotions to sort out. But his fury was obvious in the way he moved and stood.
“You have every right to be mad.”
“Thanks so much.”
She winced at the ice in his voice. “I was going to tell you myself tomorrow, Luke.”
“Easy to say now.”
“I know, but it’s true.” He wouldn’t believe her, she knew. But then, why should he? “I hated lying to you.”
“But you did it anyway. Impressive.”
Fiona ignored that. “Yes, your grandfather hired me. I couldn’t tell you that. Jamison was my client and I owed him confidentiality.”
“And what did you owe me?”
“Luke, at first, it was just a job, but the moment I met you—”
“Let me guess,” he said sarcastically. “Everything changed for you.”
Helplessly, she threw her hands up. “Well, yeah.”
“Don’t, Fiona.” He stopped her before she could say more. “Just, don’t. My grandfather paid you to talk me into going back to the family business. Everything else was just part of the dance.”
His voice was cold and hard, and she couldn’t even blame him. But oh, standing here with him, so close, but so far away from each other, was even worse than she’d imagined it would be.
“Not everything.”
“Right. So, do you sleep with all your targets, or was I just lucky?”
She sucked in a gulp of air at the insult. He was hurting. He was pissed. He felt betrayed. Of course he was going to strike back. “I’m going to let that go because I know you’re furious.”
“Tell me, just how much did you charge the old man for having sex with me?”
Her head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. “He didn’t pay me to care about you. Didn’t pay me to sleep with you.”
“Good, because we didn’t do much sleeping, did we?”
Okay, she was willing to give a lot here because she was the one who’d screwed this all up. As soon as she’d realized she was coming to care for him, she should have told him everything. Should have been honest with him no matter what it had cost. But there was a limit to how much offense she was willing to put up with. Her own anger started as a flicker of heat in the pit of her stomach and quickly spread until she was swamped with it.
“You know what?” she snapped, taking a step toward him. “Insulting me isn’t the answer here. Yes. I lied. Yes, I’m a horrible human being. But I didn’t have sex with you for money.”
“And I should believe you because you’re so honest.” Sarcasm dripped from his tone and if anything, his eyes became even icier.
“Do or don’t,” she said hotly. “That’s up to you. But I’m not going to keep taking this from you, Luke. Are you so perfect that you’ve never done anything you regret? Are your hard lines of right and wrong so deeply drawn that you can’t see that other people make difficult choices and don’t always make the right ones?”
“Are you seriously trying to turn this around on me?” he countered.
“I didn’t say that. I’m willing to take the blame for all of this—even though you’re the one who put your grandfather into a situation where he felt the only way to solve it was to hire a stranger to talk to his own grandson!”
She enjoyed seeing a quick flash of guilt in his eyes, but it was gone an instant later.
Fiona felt bad about this whole situation. She had all along, but she wasn’t going to stand there and not defend herself.
“I didn’t decide to sleep with you easily. I’ve never done anything like that before. Heck, I’ve never slept with anyone as quickly as I did with you.” She’d known all along that this was coming. She’d taken something for herself, for her own needs and desires and now, the bill was due. She had to accept the consequences, no matter how difficult. “And I wanted to pretend, I guess, that there was more between us than there was. I only had sex with you because I cared about you.”
“Right.”
“Do you think I could fake that? What we felt when we were together?” That hurt. Looking into his eyes and seeing only anger flashing there might have made it a little easier. But she saw pain there, too, and that told her he was having as hard a time with this as she was.
“How the hell do I know? You’re a damn good liar.”
“Now who’s lying, Luke?” She met his gaze and stared him down. “I was there. I felt your response to me, and I know you were feeling everything I did.”
“You don’t know anything about me, Fiona,” he said, bending lower so their faces were just a breath apart. “If you did, you wouldn’t have lied to me.”
“Yes. I lied. But not about everything.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Was it so wrong for me to be with you? To let myself feel? Think what you want to, you will anyway.” She moved in closer to him, tipped her head back and met that icy blue stare unflinchingly. “But I took that job from your grandfather because it was for family.” Even saying that word had tears burning at the backs of her eyes. “I never had what you turned your back on. I had exactly one person in my life who loved me. One. That’s more than I ever thought I’d have.
“But you had a whole family who loved you. You had everything I used to dream about having and still you walked away from it all. You crushed your grandfather.”
He snorted, but his expression said he worried she was right. “That old man is indestructible.”
Sadly, she shook her head. “No one is, Luke. Jamison depends on you. Loves you. He’s proud of you.”
“This isn’t about Pop,” he pointed out.
“Part of it is,” she countered. “He didn’t want you to know that he’d hired me because he knew you would never listen if you did. So, this is mostly about you, Luke. You walked out on the people who loved you most. Well, your grandparents want you to come home. And I think you should.”
“I think what I do is none of your business.”
“Yes, you’ve made that clear enough.” His words were like another slap, only this time to her heart. Fiona loved a man who would always see her as a liar. He would never understand what had driven her to be with him, even knowing that it was impossible for it to last. So, it was over. And emptiness rose up inside her like an incoming tide.
But he was still standing there, staring at her, and she couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t left. Why hadn’t he stormed out, taking all of his righteous anger with him?
“Is there more?” she asked. “Have any other insults you’d like to toss around?”
“Quite a few, actually,” he said tightly. “But I’ll pass. Instead, I have another job for you from my grandfather.”
“No, thank you. Go away.” She wanted nothing more to do with the Barrett family.
“I think you owe me one,” he said and that had her snapping him a look.
“How do I owe you anything?”
“Lies have a price, Fiona, and you told a boatload.”
She took a step back from him because she couldn’t stand being so close and not being able to touch him. Even now, her heart yearned for him and everything in her ached to wrap her arms around him and hold on. So, a little space between them was a very good thing.
“Fine. What does he want?”
“Someone at the company has been trying to convince Jamison he’s crazy.” Luke scowled at the thought. “Hiding things from him, canceling orders, ordering other things. They had him convinced he was sliding into dementia. He wants you to look into it. Do what you do. Talk to people. Find out who’s behind it.”
That was terrible, and now she at least knew why Jamison had sounded so unsure of himself that time on the phone. Who would do something so vicious and heartless?
“I’ll do it,” she said. “Only
because I like your grandfather.”
“Fine. Let me know when you have something.”
He couldn’t have been more distant. His beautiful eyes were shuttered. His voice was clipped and raw. And still, she loved him. Knew she’d never love anyone else like this. Everything in Fiona ached to say the words. Just once, she wanted to say them and mean them and it didn’t matter to her if he dismissed them, because he’d already dismissed her.
He opened the door, and Fiona knew she had to tell him because who knew if she’d ever have the chance to say those words again and really mean them. Her heart hurt because her best chance at a happily ever after was about to walk out her door. How could she not tell him how she felt?
“Luke.”
He looked at her.
She took a breath and let it out again. “I only had sex with you because I fell in love with you.”
His eyes flashed, and his mouth worked as if he were biting back words that were trying to tumble out.
“I just wanted to tell you that,” Fiona said. “Because I’ve never said those words before, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have the chance again.”
Still he didn’t speak, but his gaze was fixed on her. It didn’t matter if he responded or not. She hadn’t said those magical words for his sake, but for her own.
“But when this job is done,” she said quietly, “I never want to see you again.”
Ten
Luke hadn’t seen Fiona in a week, and he missed her, damn it.
He shouldn’t. She’d become the very distraction he had been trying to avoid. She’d lied to him from the beginning. Every conversation. Every laugh. Every kiss. Every... It was all built on lies.
And still, he wanted her. Thought about her. Missed her.
“Where’s your mind, boy?” Jamison’s voice cut into his thoughts, and Luke could have kissed his grandfather for the distraction.
“Right here,” he said, looking at Pop from across the dining room table.
His grandparents’ house hadn’t changed in years. And somehow that was comforting since everything else around him seemed to be a swirling vortex of chaos. For the last week, Luke and Jamison had worked here, at the house, coming up with a compromise. Luke believed that this time, they’d be able to find a way to walk a line between the past and the future, while encouraging kids to get outside and have adventures again.
It would have been easier to do all this at the office, but until they found out who was behind the mental attacks on Jamison, they weren’t announcing Luke’s return. Not even to Cole, because he’d never been very good at keeping a secret.
“Are you sure you want to keep your group of people working on the tech division?” Jamison shook his head and checked one of the papers strewn across the table. “Might be easier to fold them into the division we’ve already got.”
“No,” Luke said. He was willing to go back to Barrett. Thought it was a good idea, actually. But though the tech part of the business would be taking a back seat to more standardized toys, he wanted his hand-picked crew working on the technological side of things. Whatever tech toys they did produce would be top of the line.
“My people have some great ideas, and I’d like them to keep working on those right where they’re at for now. We’ll call it a research division of the company. Maybe later, we can revisit.”
Jamison looked at him for a long moment, then nodded, satisfied. “All right, then. We can talk about next year’s lineup.”
“That’s fine, Pop.” Better to focus. To think about work—that way thoughts of Fiona couldn’t slip in to torture him.
“Have you heard from Fiona?”
He muffled a groan because it seemed he couldn’t avoid thinking or talking about Fiona. “No. You?”
“Nothing,” Jamison muttered, and tossed his pen down in disgust. “I was hoping she’d have something by now. I need to know who was doing that to me, Luke. Need to get rid of them so I can move forward knowing that everyone working for me is really working for me.”
“I get it.” Luke wanted to know, too. And then he planned on having a long chat with whoever had tried to submarine his grandfather.
“Well, then, call her, boy. Find out what she knows.”
Luke went still. “She’ll call when she has something.”
“Is there a reason you’re suddenly not interested in talking to the woman?”
Luke just stared at him for a long moment. “Yeah. She lied to me.”
“They weren’t her lies, they were mine.”
Snorting, Luke shook his head. “Not all of them.”
“The problem here is, you care for her.”
“Nope, that’s not it.” Luke picked up the graphic sample of their fall ads. “What do you think about this? I’m thinking my graphic designer could find a way to make this stand out more.”
“I’m thinking you’re avoiding the subject.”
“Good call,” Luke told him. “So drop it.”
“I would, but I like the girl.”
Leaning back in his chair, Luke glared at him. “This time I’m just going to say it. Butt out, Pop.”
“Well now,” Jamison said with a wink, “we both know that’s not going to happen.”
Reaching for the coffee carafe, Luke poured himself another cup of the hot black brew and tried to ignore the older man across from him.
“When I met your grandmother, I knew right away that she was the one.” He smiled to himself as if looking back through the years. “You know how?”
“No.” But he guessed he was about to find out.
“Because she made me laugh,” Jamison said. “She made me think. She made me a better man just by being around me.”
Luke frowned at his coffee. He didn’t want to hear this because it struck too close to home. Wasn’t that exactly what Fiona had done for him? Hadn’t she, just by being herself, made him reconsider everything he’d thought he’d believed?
Didn’t her laughter make him smile? Her touch make him hunger? Her sighs feed something in his soul that had been empty before her?
He remembered the look on her face when he’d confronted her. Remembered the shock and the pain in her eyes when he’d suggested she’d had sex with him because it was her job.
Okay, yes, he’d been a colossal jerk, and she’d called him on it. But in his defense... Screw it, there was no defense.
Jamison was watching him, and the old man was way too cagey for Luke’s liking. Whatever had been between him and Fiona was over. Whether it was her lies or his accusations, it was over and done now.
“Let it go, Pop. Please.”
“Fine,” he said, nodding. “For now.”
At this point, Luke was willing to accept that.
* * *
Two days later, Fiona knocked on the front door of Luke’s home. The roar of the sea seemed to match her thundering heartbeat, and the icy wind was the same temperature as her cold hands. Her stomach was a twisting, swirling mess and it felt like every cell in her body was on high alert. She felt brittle. As if she might shatter into pieces at any moment.
She’d completed her job, and though they might not like the answers she was offering them, once this task was done, the Barrett family would be out of her life for good. And that thought chilled her far more than the wind could.
The door swung open and there he was, just inches from her. Fiona took a deep breath to steady herself, but it didn’t do any good. How could it, when all she had to do was look at Luke Barrett and her knees got wobbly and her heart began racing?
He wore a tight black T-shirt and worn jeans that rode low on his hips. He was barefoot and his hair was rumpled, making her wish she had the right to run her fingers through it. But those days were gone for good.
Still, she was glad she’d taken the time to dress for this meeting. She wore
a dark green shirt with cap sleeves and a scoop neckline and the kicky black skirt she’d been wearing when she first dropped onto his lap. She knew the choice had been a good one when she saw his eyes flare dangerously.
“Fiona.”
His voice sent a whisper of sensation drifting along her spine.
“Hello, Luke. I finished looking into your grandfather’s problem.”
One eyebrow lifted. “And?”
“And,” she repeated, “I want to talk to you about it.”
His gaze felt like a touch. It was intimate and distant all at once.
He opened the door wider, and she walked inside, being careful not to brush against him. How strange this was, she thought. They’d been as close as any two people could be and, now, they were less than strangers.
She knew her way around, so she walked directly into the living room. There were moving boxes everywhere, and her heart felt a sharp stab of regret. He was getting ready to leave this house and though she knew he was moving, she had no idea where. So, she’d never be able to find him again. That thought was a lonely one, but at the same time, she supposed it was for the best. Now she couldn’t be tempted to drive past his house like some sad stalker, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.
Turning to face him, she handed him a manila envelope and when he opened it, she started talking. “I have a friend who’s a computer genius.”
“Of course you do.”
She ignored that. “With Jamison’s permission, he hacked into the system at Barrett’s and tracked everything he could. There were what he called ‘footprints’ left behind and when he followed them, he found the person responsible for hurting your grandfather.”
Luke looked at the papers, then lifted his gaze and shook his head. “This can’t be right.”
“It is,” she assured him. “We checked everything twice, to make sure. I’m sorry, Luke.”
His gaze hardened instantly, and she was sad to see it.
“I don’t want another apology.”
“I’m sorry about this.” Fiona straightened up, squaring her shoulders, lifting her chin. “As for the other thing, I’ve already apologized once, and I won’t do it again.”
Jet Set Confessions Page 14
