He lifts a brow like he doesn’t believe me.
“All the Leurress are filled with extra measures of Light, because we descend from Elara,” I explain. “But Sabine always carried it stronger than the rest of us, whether she realized it or not. She has an inner strength I could never surpass. She climbed icy mountains with me, even through sleet and frigid air. She slept beside me in snow caves. She only cried when she thought I was sleeping, and even then, it was only for missing the woman who raised her.”
We’re quiet for a moment, and then Cas whispers, “I do understand that kind of grief. It can haunt you for a lifetime.”
I search the heavy expression on his face. “Is it strange that I want to understand how that feels? I wish I’d been loved so deeply by my mother that the loss of her hurt me. That would be better than my resentment over not knowing how to mourn her.”
I can almost hear her voice now. I am not lost, Ailesse. You know where you can find me.
“It’s not strange at all,” Cas says. “To be loved is the purest of all human desires. Anyone who says different is deceiving themselves.”
I stiffen, realizing how close he’s shifted toward me. Our knees are almost touching. I release a trembling breath. It’s not so hard to recognize why the gods chose him for me. Cas is a calming influence, a steadying anchor, like Sabine. He could keep me grounded in the afterlife.
“I do know what it is to be loved,” I reply with an edge in my voice. Sabine loves me. She would do anything for me. Bastien loves me, too, and his love is like a pair of open wings. It reveals the world, rather than planting my feet in one place. The trouble is, I’m supposed to be grounded; I’m supposed to be my mother’s heir. If Sabine really does love me, she won’t take that away.
I also love you, daughter. If I could return to you, I would rename you as my heir.
My blood runs cold at the sound of my mother’s voice again, much more vivid this time. I glance around me, though her words didn’t radiate from anywhere except my head.
“When I brought you to Beau Palais,” Cas says, “you promised to give me a chance.”
I struggle to focus on what he’s saying and rein in my wild imagination. My mother can’t speak to me. She’s trapped in the Underworld. “I am giving you that chance—the chance to live.”
“What if I want more? I’ve offered you everything, Ailesse. Even now—even after you’ve imprisoned me—I would give myself to you. I would have you for my queen.”
My stomach flutters before it tenses into knots. “Please don’t say that. I can’t be your queen. You’re smitten with the promise of me, but I’m not your mother. I’m not even like the song you heard on the bridge. All of that is an illusion.”
His jaw muscle tightens, and he shakes his head, staring down at his bound wrists.
“Please try to understand. I have nothing against you. I believe you have every quality that will make you a great king. I would fight to protect you even if we weren’t soul-bound.”
I pull myself up to stand with my crutch, anxious to be finished with this conversation. Cas will be fine. Birdine will come up any minute now. I need to hurry to the cavern bridge. “I’ll return you to Beau Palais soon, I promise, and when I do, you’ll be safe. The dead will be ferried, and the Chained won’t plague your people anymore.”
“What if all your struggle is in vain?” He rises, challenging me with his somber eyes. “What if the soul-bond can never be broken, and you and I are tied together throughout the eternities?”
“It will be broken.”
I know how to break it, Ailesse.
My pulse jumps. “Impossible.”
“Pardon?” Cas frowns.
I rapidly glance around the room again, searching for the silver owl or a shimmering tint to my vision or anything to explain why I’m hearing my mother’s voice when I’m wide awake and not dreaming.
I love you, daughter. I do not want you to suffer any longer.
I won’t listen to this. “Love isn’t love if you never show it.” My voice is quiet but scathing as I repeat the words I told her on the cavern bridge.
Cas blinks twice. “I—I have been trying to show you. I even offered you my mother’s pearls.”
Does he think love can be bought?
You did, Mother. I speak inwardly this time. At the cost of my life.
But I never paid that price, did I? I leapt through the Gates of the Underworld to spare you, child.
No, you abandoned me to be with the man you loved.
Oh, Ailesse. It wasn’t abandonment. You, above anyone else, should understand the power of loving someone more than your amouré. Is that not why you chose to stay here with Bastien rather than returning to our famille after you left Beau Palais?
“If I have less than a year left to live”—Cas’s bound hands slide around one of mine—“I wish to face it bravely. I’ll quash the dissenters’ rebellion and rule my country with honor, not by hiding. Most of all, I want to spend that time with you,” he whispers, his breath warm on my face.
I barely comprehend what he’s saying. My heart stampedes in my chest. My mother is wrong. I haven’t returned home yet because I needed to find Sabine first and bring her back with me. Bastien had nothing to do with it. I broke off our relationship because I was thinking of the needs of the famille first.
That must be comforting to believe.
My hands clench.
Cas’s lips feather across mine. All my nerves stand at attention. No, I don’t want this.
You no longer know what you want, daughter. But I understand what you need. I can help you.
She can’t tell me what I want or need. What if I do want Cas? What if I do want to be grounded?
When I don’t respond, he starts to pull away. I quickly grab his arms and lean into him, kissing him with conviction.
A rush of blackness consumes me. The candles in the room flicker like warning flags at the edges of my sight. I close my eyes and open them again, but I can’t chase away the glittering darkness all around me. It’s like the dust of Tyrus’s Gate at the cavern bridge, except this time I’m in his storm, not safely outside it.
My mother appears. She glides on steady feet through the whirling wind. Her raven hair whips madly around her face, but her black eyes stay fast upon me. “Listen to me, Ailesse. We do not have much time.”
“No.” I step backward, but she catches my forearm. It’s the strangest sensation, feeling her nails on my skin while Cas’s mouth moves against mine. I kiss him harder, hoping to moor myself in the quarry room and tear away from this vision.
“I have learned many secrets of the Underworld,” my mother continues. “I am penitent, and it is my earnest desire to make amends with you.”
I can’t speak or the kiss will break. If it does, I might be swept away into Tyrus’s realm. Is that even possible?
“What I said is true.” My mother’s voice is so soothing and affectionate, it’s almost a croon. She’s never spoken like this to me before. “I do know how to break the soul-bond, and once that happens, you will be free to understand your heart and what it desires. That is what you wish for, is it not, daughter?”
The darkness scatters for just a moment, and I can picture it, a life of my own making: I’m wearing a crown of new grace bones and leading my famille onto the land bridge. I stand at its end by the great Gates of the Beyond. But then the image shifts, and now I’m doing more: I’m sailing away on a ship, exploring lands beyond Galle, scaling great mountains, swimming in clear water, seeing all the majestic beauty of the world.
“You will not find the answer in a book.” My mother tilts her head, and the mirage ripples away. “You will die poring over those words while your Light fades and your one year with your amouré comes to an end. The secret to breaking the soul-bond lies with me, and me alone. But I must first be set free so I may show you how.”
All my muscles grow taut. My mind strains. I cast up all my resistance, but her proposal sinks inside me and plants roots
. What if there is no other way? What if she could teach me not only how to break the soul-bond, but also all forms of blood sacrifice? That’s what my friends and I have been working toward, isn’t it?
“Come to me tonight, Ailesse.” My mother stretches forth her hand. Her eyes hold the challenge that’s sparked the flame in me all my life, her great dare to be as brave, bold, and indomitable as she is. “I had the tenacity to enter the Underworld, but all you have to do is touch my hand. Then I will be with you again.”
Is she belittling me? I was ready and willing to cross into the Underworld, but I showed even greater strength by resisting Tyrus’s siren song.
“Come and join your sister. If she ferries without you, she will receive all the glory for saving South Galle. The famille will wish her to remain matrone.”
No. My veins flare with adrenaline.
The blackness scatters again, and this time I see Sabine. She’s standing under the battlements of Château Creux, just past the heavy rainfall. Pernelle, Maurille, and Chantae are with her. She’s holding a bone flute and speaking rapidly. I can’t hear what she’s saying, but her brows are lifted like she’s trying to persuade them. Maybe they won’t be persuaded.
“If she told them you were alive and would be joining them soon, she might prevail upon them more easily.”
What? Why wouldn’t she tell them I was alive?
“You heard your sister today. She never wanted you to follow her to the cavern bridge. She does not trust you, just like she does not trust me. Perhaps she hopes you will not come.”
Sabine’s hand cuts through the air, like she’s making a final statement. She marches off into the rain. Pernelle sighs, takes up her staff, and hurries to join her. Maurille and Chantae do the same.
Three Ferriers? That’s all Sabine could gather? It isn’t enough. I had my mother to help me on the cavern bridge, and she was worth at least six Ferriers.
“With you and me, they will stand a fair chance,” Odiva says. “You are my true daughter when it comes to skill and talent.”
Sabine and the others head eastward, away from Château Creux.
“You will lose her, Ailesse, if you do not allow me to help both of you.”
I can’t breathe. The darkness is more suffocating than drowning in my brocade dress.
“And if Sabine dies now,” Odiva continues, “Tyrus will surely wrap her in chains.”
“No!” The vision breaks. I jerk away from Cas at the same time. His lips are flushed from kissing me. I cover my own lips and breathe heavily. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have— “No, Cas . . .”
His brow wrinkles. “It’s all right.” He reaches for me, but I hobble backward on my crutch.
“It isn’t all right. I will never care for you the way you want me to.” I refuse to let the soul-bond dictate my life. “Love is a choice. It isn’t written in the stars.” I grab a new lantern and rush to the scaffolding ladder.
“Where are you going?” He rises, but he can’t move far with the ball and chain around his ankle.
To break the bond, to claim my life back. “To help my sister.”
Don’t try to stop me, Sabine. I’m doing this for both of us.
I quickly climb the scaffolding. I have to set my mother free.
19
Bastien
I SLIP INSIDE CHAPELLE DU Pauvre and pull my hand out from within my cloak. I check on a small bouquet of wildflowers I’ve been protecting from the rain, rare yellow poppies I found growing under a giant pine. Will Ailesse like them?
I prod one of the flowers that hasn’t opened yet. Maybe I shouldn’t give them to her. What if she thinks I’m pressuring her to get back together? Despite what she said, after she kissed me in the river, she’s been warmer toward me lately. It’s given me hope that maybe we can be more than friends again. Or am I wrong? Is she too good a dream for someone like me?
I swallow hard and tuck the poppies back inside my cloak. I’m going to give her the damn flowers.
I adjust the pack of supplies on my shoulder and make my way through the church and the tunnels below the quarry. The wound on my back only twinges a little now, almost healed. That’s something to be thankful for.
Once I’m halfway down the scaffolding and within hearing distance of my room, I call out Jules’s name. I’ve brought her some soft cheese, not the usual hardened stuff that keeps for days down here. Hopefully she’ll eat it. She’s lost her appetite for almost everything.
She doesn’t answer, so I call for Marcel, then Ailesse. “Birdine?” I say as a last resort, my gut prickling. Where is everyone? I hop down another rung and lower my head to peek inside the quarry room. It’s empty. Except for Cas. He’s tucked against the back wall and crouched on his mattress. But not in a casual way. His rolled-back sleeves reveal tensed forearms. And his legs are bent, ready to spring.
I frown. “What’s going on?”
He doesn’t say a word. My fingers flex near the hilt of my father’s knife. I’ve started carrying it again, an itch I can finally scratch again. Revenge is near. My friends will find a way to outsmart Tyrus and put a stop to blood sacrifice. No more fathers are going to die. We just need to find the right bargaining chip. Then we can cut a deal with the god of the Underworld.
I take a cautious step into the room. A sliver of metal glints at Cas’s feet. A hairpin? The shackle around his ankle is open by a gap, and the shelf with my figurines is missing the sun god.
Merde.
Cas leaps at me. I yank out my knife. He swings the small statue with his tied-up hands. I duck and roll, then launch up again. I nick his arm with my blade. I can’t stab him. His life is tied to—
“Ailesse.” I jump back when he strikes again. “Where is she?”
His brow twitches. “Does it matter?”
“Course it matters.”
He hurls the figurine. I sidestep it, but it glances off my shoulder and shatters against the wall. My blood catches on fire. “My father carved that!”
Cas grabs another statue—the earth goddess, Gaëlle.
“Put that down, or I swear I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” He juts up his chin. “You’re in no position to threaten me. You love Ailesse too much.” He practically spits the words.
Something’s set him off. “What did you do to her?” My voice shudders with deadly rage.
“What did I do?” He laughs scornfully. “I never asked to be her amouré. She’s brought me nothing but misery.”
I don’t understand. He’s never this spiteful toward her. “Where is she?” I take another step. He raises the goddess statue, a warning.
“Maybe it’s Jules you should be worried about.”
My chest squeezes. Jules is like family. “Did you hurt her?”
He balks at me. “I’m not the villain here. She went looking for you.”
Merde, Jules. “And Marcel and Birdine?”
“Out for books and down for a bath, as usual.”
I stalk closer. “Why won’t you tell me about Ailesse?”
His eyes narrow. He adjusts his grip on the statue. “Let me pass, Bastien. I won’t stay here another fortnight. Dovré is under threat. My people will lose faith without a king on the throne.”
My pulse races. Ailesse is alive. She has to be, or Cas wouldn’t even be breathing. I’m not going to waste my own breath arguing with him. He knows why he’s our prisoner—and why he needs to stay here until the dead can be ferried again.
He’s three feet away now. I hold up my knife. “A man can still live without a hand, an arm, a leg,” I say.
A bead of sweat drips down his forehead. Sabine told me Cas trained in the art of warfare; he was dressed in a captain’s uniform when they first met. But he’s no danger to me, especially not with his hands tied.
I turn my blade so its sharp edge catches the lantern light. “What . . . did . . . you . . . do . . . to . . . her?”
He doesn’t answer. He swings the statue at my arm, but I knock it aw
ay. It hits the stone floor. The goddess’s head snaps off. I slash out with my knife. Cas kicks me back before I can cut him again. “I kissed her, Bastien,” he spits out bitterly. “And I can assure you she wanted to be kissed back . . . at least at first.”
My heart gives a hard pound. The poppies fall out from beneath my cloak, a pile of bent stems and crushed yellow petals. Then all I see is red. “At least at first?” I repeat. What the hell did he do? An animalistic growl rises from my throat. I ram my shoulder into his chest. He grabs my dolphin statue. My nerves sting. Not that one.
I shove him against the wall. He strikes my side with the statue. I grunt and rear back. Bastard. I reach for the dolphin in his grip. Cas knees me in the gut and spins me around. Now I’m the one against the wall. He hits my wrist with the statue. The back of my hand slams against the limestone. Once, twice, three times. My knife fumbles out of my fist. Cas drops the dolphin. Its tail cracks.
I’ll kill him.
He snatches up my knife and jumps away. He rapidly saws though his ropes. I lunge at him again. His hands are free now. He nicks my upper arm like I nicked his. I hiss and grab my wound.
“Let me leave.” He backtracks to the ladder. “I have no wish to hurt you, Bastien.”
Like hell he doesn’t. I charge at him. The blade in his hand comes arcing down for me. I grab his wrist to stop it. We wrestle for control. “That knife you’re holding belonged to my father,” I say past gritted teeth. “Drop it.”
Cas’s brows spasm, but he doesn’t let go. I drive him back against the scaffolding post. One of his feet slips off the sheer edge of the floor. He grabs a rung of the ladder. I finally wrench the blade away, but he hits my arm at the same time. The knife flings into the dark depths of the quarry.
I stop breathing. That didn’t just happen. Blood rushes to my head. My vision blackens at the edges. My father is dying all over again, and I’ll never be able to give him peace.
Another spike of rage rips through me. I swing my fist at Cas, and my knuckles clip his jaw. His head jerks to the side. He pushes past the pain and fumbles to climb the ladder. I grab him by the back of his shirt and yank him down to the scaffolding platform.
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