by J. H. Croix
“You are all business, after all,” she said, her lips kicking up in a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Speaking of business, are you going to the tech and arts fundraiser next week?” Her tone was light, and the tense lines on her face softened.
“I was planning on it. Why don’t we go together?”
Her brow knitted with worry, and she sat up, curling her feet under her knees. I instantly wanted to tug her back to me. “I don’t know. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”
“That’s something you worry about?” I pressed.
“Of course,” Eva said. She smoothed her hand over her hair, her eyes flashing with frustration. “For a man who understands how hard it is for women to be respected in our field, I can’t believe you hadn’t considered that.”
“Of course, I have. But—”
She shook her head. “You know how people talk. It wouldn’t surprise me if people thought I was trying to get ahead by sleeping with you.” She leaned her elbows on her knees, resting her face in her hands. After a moment, she straightened, brushing her hair back. “I don’t know.”
“We’re not just sleeping together. This isn’t just some hot fling for me,” I said, surprised at the fierce emotion that crested inside me.
Eva stared at me quietly, all the while my heart felt as if it were stumbling and falling again and again.
“What are we, Zane?”
Chapter 16
Eva
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked.
“I don’t know. It just feels like, well, he wants to commit to dating forever.”
“You are dating.” Sarah looked puzzled.
“I know that.” I leaned my face in my hands, and my breath sifted through my fingers as I released a sigh. “I think I’m falling in love with him,” I said when I finally lifted my head.
“Of course, you are. Zane’s totally sweeping you off your feet.”
“It’s not just that. But I get the sense that the words and the actual commitment are going to be hard for him.”
Sarah leaned her chin on her hand as she regarded me from across the conference room table. “Maybe you’re going to have to let him know how important commitment is to you. Actions are more important than words, though. Not to state the obvious.”
“I know that.” I paused, considering how things felt with Zane recently. “It feels like there’s a little distance between us lately. Plus, he’s out of my league. It’s crazy that we’re together anyway.”
“Why is he out of your league?” Sarah pressed, looking offended even though I’d made the observation myself. “You’re smart, you’re independent, and you run your own company. Very well, I might add. You don’t have to push it. Maybe just give him some time.”
“Fine,” I grumbled. The intercom buzzed, and the day carried on. We moved through a busy afternoon and evening, and that night, I didn’t see Zane. We often didn’t see each other during the workweek. My schedule was too busy, and the same was true for him.
“Hello, hello,” a female voice said from over my shoulder.
Glancing back, I saw Mara Trent approaching. I didn’t know her, but I knew of her. She was a model, and her job required her to be absolutely stunning.
Standing beside Zane, I suddenly felt inadequate. It was hard not to feel as if I fell short with her standing right in front of us now. Mara’s blond hair was pulled up in an artful twist with several strands dangling around her face. She had smoky eye shadow that illuminated her big blue eyes. She wore a strapless dress, classy and sexy.
Meanwhile, I now felt frumpy. I wore a skirt that hugged my hips and a loose silky blouse. Zane had been talking to Harry Glenn, a CEO of another software company. He turned and cast a smile at Mara. His look was bland enough, but I didn’t miss the look in her eyes. She looked practically feral.
“How are you, Mara?” he asked politely.
“Very well, Zane. Yourself?”
“Doing well. Busy with work.”
Her laughter was like soft bells. “Of course. I haven’t seen you recently. Have you been to the club?”
Tension bundled at the base of my neck. Zane and I teased occasionally about how our relationship had started all because of my fated bad first date at Club Temptation. I occasionally wondered why he’d been there that night and if it was a place he frequented.
Zane’s stance was casual and easy, but I didn’t miss the subtle thread of tension in him. His eyes looked shuttered, and lines of tension bracketed his mouth. “Can’t say I have. Have you met Eva?” he asked, reaching for my hand and curling his warm palm around it.
Mara turned her gaze on me, her smile entirely polite. “I haven’t had the pleasure.” She held out her hand to shake. Her palm was cool, and her grip light. “You run Games in Heels? Am I right?”
“You are.” I dipped my head in acknowledgment.
“I love meeting accomplished and brilliant women,” Mara replied.
Uncertain what to say to that, I simply smiled.
Mara flicked Zane another glance. “Good to see you, Zane. Please do call.”
He nodded, and Mara moved along. He dropped my hand, and his conversation continued with Harry peppering Zane with questions about a few projects they were collaborating on. We were at the tech and arts fundraiser I’d asked Zane about, and it was popular with the movers and shakers in the tech world.
I was the one who insisted that we not come to this function together. I was the one who insisted we interact only as we would have before. Two professionals, working in the same field and potentially collaborating on projects.
As I watched Mara sashay away—and sashay she did—I felt uncomfortable and insecure. As much as I worried about how my relationship, or whatever it was, with Zane might be perceived, I wanted Mara to know he was with me. I wasn’t just some brainy girl.
The night wore on. The experience was unusual for me. I was acutely aware of where Zane was at all times, and I had to remind myself not to linger too much around him.
The evening was winding down, and I was departing from a conversation with Sarah and a potential supplier when I heard Mara’s melodic laugh. Since when did I freaking remember another woman’s laugh?
Apparently, starting tonight. When I glanced in the direction of her laughter, I saw her standing beside Zane. He had his jacket folded over his arm. She had stepped close, and her palm was resting lightly on his forearm. I was too far away to see his face, but jealousy bolted through me, heat followed by a chill.
Frustration and embarrassment at my own reaction followed immediately on the heels of the jealousy. My eyes absorbed Zane. He was so handsome, so hot in a suit. His suit was navy, bringing out the blue of his eyes. It was tailored, of course, and fit him delectably well.
“Eva?” Sarah prompted from my side.
Glancing at her, I asked, “What?”
“Uh, you’re kind of staring. Since you told me you guys were not making your situation public, I thought you might want a reminder.”
I forced my feet to move, turning my back to Zane and Mara. “Why is he talking to her?” I muttered.
Sarah looked sympathetic enough that I felt even more ridiculous than I already did. “Maybe you shouldn’t worry so much about trying to keep this private?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, but you know how that might look. People would claim I was trying to find influence.”
“Eva, you are successful on your own merits. I get why you’re concerned, but you can’t do anything about what people might think. It’s obvious Zane really likes you, and you’re making yourself crazy right now.”
“How is it obvious he likes me?”
Sarah threw her hands up in the air, vaguely gesturing in the direction of him and Mara. “Every chance he gets, he’s staring at you. If you’re worried, he’s already walked away from her.”
My head whipped in that direction so fast, I could’ve given myself whiplash. Sarah chuckled. “Whatever you do, you need to calm down and just let
this be what it is.”
Looking back at her, I willed my cheeks to cool. “What do you mean?”
“I know you. This isn’t a casual thing for you. As far as I can tell, it’s not for Zane either. Unless you don’t plan to ever date, you might as well figure out how you’re going to handle things like feelings.” My friend’s eyes were warm and understanding, and my heart thumped erratically.
I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist, twisting it in circles. “I didn’t plan to date anyone who was involved in the same business,” I finally mumbled in reply.
Sarah gaped at me. “How are you going to meet anyone?”
“You’re the one who signed me up for that stupid dating app. That could’ve worked out if I hadn’t been matched with an asshole,” I said tartly, finally feeling like I could throw a zinger her way about my disastrous date with Chad.
My zinger went nowhere. Sarah twisted her lips and rolled her eyes. “Good thing you went on that date even if it was a disaster. You ran into Zane because of that date.”
I glared at her. Glancing at my watch, I said, “I’m going home. Shall we catch a ride together?”
“Sure. I’ll grab our coats,” she offered. “Why don’t you go ahead and see if you can get a car outside?”
I tapped open my car service app and entered a ride. Sarah lived only a block away from me. Moments later, I was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Sarah, who had just texted me that she ran into her favorite friends-with-benefits guy. She said she’d be out in a few minutes.
The light drizzle was typical for Seattle on any given day and night throughout the year. I scanned the streets, looking for the red sedan with the license plate listed as our ride on the car service app. As I surveyed the area, my eyes snagged on Zane’s car. I recognized it because I’d ridden in it with some regularity over the past month or so. He was standing beside it with his hand curled around the door handle to the back seat. Freaking Mara was there. She said something to him, and then he opened the door, and she climbed inside.
I panicked, hot jealousy spinning in my stomach and making me feel a little sick. I couldn’t believe he was actually taking her home. I suddenly wondered if she knew George. His George was ridiculously free with affection. Unlike my George, who was more reserved and needed time to get to know someone.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Taking a deep breath, I willfully turned away, relieved when I saw Sarah hurrying down the stairs and across the sidewalk toward me. Just then, my eyes landed on the red sedan pulling up in front of the pick-up area. With a quick scan of the license plate, I knew our ride was here.
We got in the car, and Sarah was blessedly distracted. If she noticed I was out of it and barely paying attention to her, she didn’t comment on it. I was relieved because I was too embarrassed to tell her that the man who she thought really liked me was taking another woman home tonight.
“He’s coming over later,” she said, flashing me a smile as she slipped her phone into her purse.
“Yeah? Are you two going to be more than friends?”
She gave me a silly grin. “I don’t know, but we have fun.”
Sarah was much savvier at navigating the confusing and treacherous waters of dating. I’d never even had a casual relationship that involved sex. I had my high school boyfriend, my college boyfriend, and then nothing until my one date with Chad, and now Zane. Just thinking about the sight of Mara’s glossy blond hair glinting under the streetlights when she leaned over before getting in the car sent my stomach into a sick turn.
Chapter 17
Zane
“Oh, come on, Zane. Just for a little fun,” Mara practically purred.
“I offered you a ride, Mara. Nothing more.”
She actually pouted and let out a little calculated huff. Even that, I surmised, was intended to sound sexy.
Mara was beautiful and sexy. She just didn’t attract me anymore. She’d been a relationship of convenience, though I don’t know if I would even go so far as to call it a relationship. More of an occasional arrangement.
Tonight, I’d been feeling out of sorts the entire evening. I was trying to respect Eva’s request that we not make our relationship public, yet it was driving me nuts. I was also frustrated with myself because trying to keep my distance from her only illuminated how much she meant to me.
Mara couldn’t know it, and I obviously wouldn’t tell her because it would hurt her feelings, but her showing up had highlighted how much I wanted Eva.
Once upon a time, someone like Mara was all I wanted. She was sexy, there were no complications, and she was willing to push boundaries. No woman had ever turned me on the way Eva did. I still wanted to push boundaries with her, but it was private. It was for us.
If I ever took Eva to Club Temptation, it would be for us, and it would be some kind of foreplay. With Mara, the club itself was what I had wanted with her. The exhibition was the allure, but there was no emotion to it. I couldn’t have known that I had needed those kinds of boundless moments because of what else was missing.
When Danny pulled up in front of Mara’s condominium building, she smiled over at me. “Are you sure?” she asked. When her tongue darted out and dragged across her bottom lip, I knew it was calibrated and all for show. She couldn’t know that only deflated me even more. I’d had a taste of Eva—raw, unvarnished, and entirely authentic. She was so refreshing, and I missed her.
“I’m sure, Mara.”
She gave me a considering look. “Are you dating someone? I can’t help but be nosy.”
I held her gaze evenly. “My private life is private.” Turning, I tapped the button to unlock the doors. Danny knew his cue. He was out and opening Mara’s door within seconds.
After she disappeared with a dash through the rain into her condominium building, Danny looked over his shoulder at me. “Where is Miss Eva?”
His tone was conversational and low-key, but I sensed a hint of reproach in it. “Not with me,” I said pointedly. “But not by my choice.”
Danny turned away and smoothly pulled off the curb a moment later. “If it was by her choice, did you try to persuade her otherwise? She’s a smart girl, so she’s going to need persuading.”
“Are you implying I’m not a good bet for her?” I asked, feeling a little defensive even though I was trying to tease.
“Not exactly. However, you do have a reputation. It’s for being a ruthless businessman, and dating beautiful women with whom you never get serious. I don’t even know if you can count what you do as dating. Eva will expect more, and she deserves more.”
I lifted my hands, dropping them with a thwack on the car seat. “She doesn’t want us to be public. She’s concerned about how it might look for her as a woman. I don’t agree. I understand her point, which is why I’m respecting it, but she means more than that to me. I tried to tell her that once it was clear we were the genuine article, that any rumors would pass.”
“Did you tell her you loved her?”
Danny might as well have punched me in the chest. Once again, my heart felt as if it had tripped and fell inside my chest. At my silence, he added, “Bet you didn’t.”
“Danny, how’s that going to make a difference? She doesn’t want us to be public.”
“If you love her, you tell her and figure the rest out later.”
I wanted to argue, but I felt a little sick about it. I did love her, and I supposed I was being a bit of a coward about it.
“Danny—” I began.
He cut me off. “I wouldn’t be so direct, Zane, if I didn’t think I was right. Your parents loved each other very much, and they adored you. When your mama died, it nearly killed your father, and I know that’s why you’re afraid. Do you think he would trade what he had with her?”
My heart ached a little bit, and I took a deep breath. “No,” I reluctantly replied. My parents had had a genuine marriage of love. When my mother died after a brief battle with ovarian cancer, my father had been despondent. Yet I knew he’d
never trade what he had with her for anything else.
When I got home, I immediately texted Eva. “George misses you. Does your George miss me?”
She didn’t reply, and I fretted. I wasn’t one to fret, so that pissed me off.
Chapter 18
Eva
Three days passed, and I was irritable and heartsick and jealous. Zane had texted me, and I’d ignored him that night. When I woke, I replied, telling him that I’d already been asleep. I’d been holding him at bay since then.
My phone chimed again. I spun my phone around on my desk to see another text from Zane. I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me. Did something happen?
“Yes, I’m avoiding you, dumbass,” I muttered aloud at my phone. “How can you not know what happened? You took Mara home. I have eyes.”
I’d been pummeled with doubts and insecurity over the past few days. To manage the warring factions of doubts arguing in my brain, I’d thrown myself into work with relentless focus. It was a huge problem that I had given Zane my current project in beta. To keep it on track for production, I had to finalize all the changes we’d made. Every single one had me thinking of him.
My phone chimed again. Eva, I know when I’m being ignored. I might do something stupid if you won’t at least talk to me.
I pushed my phone away. On second thought, I snatched it back and opened his text replying with a single name. Mara.
There was no immediate reply. Although it made me feel even more heartsick, his silence reinforced what I thought had happened. Hours later, Ellen poked her head into my office. “You have an unexpected visitor.”
“I’m busy,” I replied. That wasn’t entirely true, but I just wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.
“It’s Mara Trent.”
“What?” I finally looked up from what I’d been working on.
“She says it’s really important.”
