As they trailed over her features, my fucking hands shook. I didn’t know what the fuck I had done in this shitty world for whatever God existed to drop this angel in my lap. Literally.
But I couldn’t help the thoughts that raced through my head swearing to never let her go again.
AS I SLOWLY REGAINED consciousness, the music, laughter, and blended voices pounded in my ears.
Cradled next to a firm body, my face was pressed against leather.
And is that a…? Oh God, please tell me that isn’t a hard penis under my ass. I thought I might die.
Then the visual of those eyes flashed back through my mind.
Afraid I’d imagined it, I raised my gaze to skim up the leather vest, up the thick column of his neck, over the scruff of a beard, firm lips, and a noble, chiseled nose. Finally, my eyes rested on those bluest of blue eyes.
It couldn’t be. Needing affirmation, I raised my hand to cup his cheek.
“Colton?”
Those lips curved into a half smile, and the gravity of the situation came crashing down on me. I scrambled out of his lap to a standing position, my breath coming in ragged gasps. Nervous, I held my hands to my chest, trying to gain some semblance of order to my heartbeat and respirations.
“Colton! Oh God, it is you! But how? Here? How? Why are you…?” Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I couldn’t get my brain and mouth to communicate to form a complete sentence. “Holy shit. Oh my God.”
How the hell did I even begin to explain? I tried again to regain my composure, but that was easier said than done.
“Don’t. Not yet,” he groaned as he stood, framing my face with his strong, calloused hands and lowering his lips to mine in a wild and frantic kiss.
My hands covered his with the intent to break his hold on me and end the kiss. Unfortunately, my body betrayed me as my breasts pressed into his chest and my mouth opened in subservience to the thrash of his tongue.
A moan came from my unrestrained body as my hands moved to his face. The faint ridge of a scar on his left cheek was hiding under his scruff. As I leaned my body farther into his, the hard ridge in his pants pressed against my pubic bone. That quickly led to a tingling pulse between my legs as he firmly pressed his hardened member against me.
Our kiss deepened as his mouth ravaged mine in a desperate plea for more.
We finally broke free, gasping for breath. His forehead braced against mine as we looked deeply into each other’s eyes. My lips were swollen from the bruising kiss, but I wanted him to kiss me again. Every breath I took caused my nipples to graze against his chest, driving me insane.
He reached down and grabbed my ass. Without hesitation, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked around the back of the bar, entering through the back screen door. He then took the first left after the screen slammed behind us.
Not once did I protest as he kicked the door shut and reached back with one hand to turn the lock. He allowed me to slide down his body, catching on the tip of his cock encased in his jeans.
At the intense sensation, he closed his eyes briefly. It didn’t take long before he captured my mouth again as we tore at each other’s clothes. Vaguely, I was aware of being in an office. It was lit by a small lamp on the desk that spread a golden glow across the small room and cast the corners in shadow.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he breathed against my lips.
Within seconds, we were stripped naked, and the firm contours of his body melded perfectly with my soft curves. He laid me down on a small cot with a thick, soft blanket spread neatly over it, and my head met the pillow.
Reverently, his gaze skimmed over my body. Self-conscious, I covered my breasts with one arm and my mound with the other in misplaced modesty. I knew my body wasn’t as taut or lithe as it was three years ago. Though they were barely noticeable, my stretch marks made me feel ugly.
“No. Don’t ever hide your body from me,” he whispered as he settled between my spread legs.
Gently, he touched my face and leaned over to nip, kiss, and suck along my neck and shoulder. As his short beard scraped my sensitive skin in an incredibly erotic way, it caused me to break out in goose bumps.
Reaching over to the floor, he rustled around for something. A plastic wrapper crinkled as he briefly took his lips from my skin. Speechless, I watched as he rose up, freed his thick, pulsing cock, and rolled the condom down. Poised at the edge of my slick entrance, he looked in my eyes with an unspoken question as he waited for my consent.
“Yes. Jesus, Colton, yes.”
“Thank fuck, because I honestly didn’t know if I could hold myself back from you.” He briefly slid the tip back and forth at my opening before plunging in. I’d forgotten how big he was, and it took a minute for my body to acclimate to his invasion. It was the perfect blend of pain and pleasure as he stretched me to accommodate his girth.
Pressing into the pillow, my head tipped back as I closed my eyes. I hissed in a deep breath through clenched teeth.
Buried deep, he held himself still, and I opened my eyes to see his head bowed, his eyes closed, and his muscles straining for control. At last, his eyes opened and met mine.
“Oh my God, baby, you are so fucking tight. Am I hurting you?” I shook my head no, breathing erratically. He blinked rapidly. “I don’t know if I can hold off for long. I’ve lived out this moment for the last three years.” His voice was raspy with emotion.
“Then don’t hold back. You won’t break me,” I whispered.
With a pained expression and a rushed exhalation, he moved. Slowly at first, then picking up speed. It was pure bliss.
Before long, he stroked in and out of my wet sheath in a frenzy of movement. The familiar tingle and throbbing of my climax began to build. In an attempt to ground myself, I dug my nails into his shoulders and wrapped my legs tightly around his.
A few more thrusts were all it took before my body shattered and flew away in a million pieces. Blind to everything but sensation, I grasped anywhere I could.
Buoyant, I floated aimlessly above the earth before I gathered back together underneath him.
Once he knew I was back with him, he resumed his pace before he swelled even more. One last thrust and he slammed home as he roared, “Fuuuck! Yessss!”
Then he collapsed down on me before he slid his weight to the side. I was barely aware of him pulling off the condom and tossing it in the trash.
Strong arms pulled me over so I lay with my cheek against his chest. One arm and one leg rested across his body while the other was tucked up next to his warmth. We were both breathing deeply, and I could hear his heart pounding under my ear. I listened to his breath become even and slow as we dozed off in a tangle of sweat-slicked limbs.
With a start, I awoke a few minutes later, and his arm reflexively tightened around me. I could tell by his breathing that he still slept.
Oh my God, what have I done?
I hadn’t seen this man in three years, and I’d had sex with him in a bar office.
It was confirmed. The man made me into the biggest slut who walked the earth. He sucked the brains God gave me right out of my dang head.
Mortification overcame me at my behavior as I carefully extricated myself from his limbs and climbed off the cot. Quietly, I searched for my clothes that were scattered across the floor. I found my bra dangling from the corner of a shelf.
Nice.
Quickly and with shaking hands, I dressed. Chancing that he might wake, I took a minute to study him as he lay sleeping. He looked so peaceful and sweet with his dark, thick lashes fanned across his cheeks. His body that of a sculpted Adonis, he was truly a beautiful man.
It was intoxicating and made me want to crawl right back alongside him to plaster my soft curves against his rock-hard contours.
Shit, shit, shit.
Like a fool, I stripped down and screwed him without even telling him about his daughter. Dropping my head in shame, I covered my face with my hands. I’d only ha
d sex a handful of times since we’d been together three years ago, but with him, it was like all my inhibitions flew out the window. My sense of control completely dissipated when he came close to my airspace.
Biting my lower lip, I stood there trying to think. I needed to get away from there so I could clear my head. There was so much to tell him, but I had to gather my thoughts first.
I fumbled through his jeans and found his phone. Surprised he still didn’t use a lock code, I swiped his screen open. My heart raced and my lungs struggled to fill with air. Staring back at me was the picture I’d taken of us that first night. This was a different phone, so not only had he transferred it over, but he intentionally saved us as his home screen.
What the hell? My brain was a reeling blob of mush. Taking a deep breath, I called my phone from his, silencing mine before the ringing could wake him. Then I sent him a text as I set his phone back on his jeans.
Me: Colton. This is my number. We need to talk, but I need some time to gather my thoughts. I’ll be in touch soon. Steph
Silently as I could, I unlocked and opened the door, closing it behind me with a soft click.
Waking stiff and cold, I realized she was gone. I sat up quickly, throwing my feet to the floor and looking around in confusion. Where the hell did she go?
When I realized her clothes were gone, I frantically started to dress, stuffing my phone in my pocket and pulling on my boots.
With the side zippers of my boots unzipped, my fly still open, and my cut dangling from my fist, I raced out of the room and slammed out the back door.
No sign of her.
I went back in and through the hall up into the bar. The crowd had started to dwindle, and I caught Hollywood’s eye. He raised his eyebrows at me, taking in my disheveled appearance with a grin. When I saw no sign of her, I went back to the office to dress properly.
The pieces started to fall into place as I realized my angel, the blonde at the grocery store, and the sex kitten on the dance floor were one and the same. That meant the guy, Sam, was her brother. I remembered Hacker saying she was the little sister of his former teammate.
My angel.
Jesus, Hacker knew her this whole time!
I pulled out my phone to call him when I saw I had a text message.
Unknown number: Colton. This is my number. We need to talk, but I need some time to gather my thoughts. I’ll be in touch soon. Steph.
Stunned at the night’s events, I fell back into the office chair. My phone dropped to the floor with a thump when it slipped from my slack fingers.
What the fucking hell? How did she just get up and leave me? Putting aside the mind-blowing sex, there was the matter of our insane history. Did it not mean a damn thing to her? Fuck. I need to talk to her sooner than later.
Then a sick feeling settled in my stomach as I remembered the guy she was dancing with.
Fucking hell. Like I’d told myself for the last three motherfucking years, she was with someone else. It shouldn’t be a surprise. There shouldn’t be this vicious ache in my chest. I buried my head in my hands, clenching my hair as I fought the burn behind my eyelids.
Fuck. Just fuck.
MY BROTHERS AND ERIK looked at me like I’d lost my mind when I came rushing up to them. “Can one of you take me home?”
“What the fuck is going on? Who fucked with you? I can guarantee you I’ll take care of whoever it was,” Erik said as he jumped up from his seat.
“No!” I burst out in horror. Oh dear God, I couldn’t have him going after one of his brothers because he thought Colton had done something. Jesus, God in heaven. “No, I just started really missing Remi. I haven’t been away from her like this before, and it got me worked up.” I tried to appear calm and together. With the skeptical look I received from Erik, I wasn’t sure how well I pulled it off.
My brothers didn’t question me further, and we drove home in silence. As I walked toward the house, Sam called out to me. “Steph, if you need to talk, you know you can call me, right?”
I smiled at him and nodded. “Of course I do. Thank you for everything.”
I gave them a small wave and slowly walked up the stairs and through the front door.
Pausing in the entryway, I took in the silence of the old house before heading up the stairs. Like when I was a teen, I avoided the creaky ones.
Remi must’ve been with my mom, because she wasn’t in my room. Confirmation of my suspicion was my dad lying in bed softly snoring. Gently, I closed the door and went back to my room.
Lying down, I stared at the ceiling.
I was a total piece of shit for the way I ran out on him. As I lay in bed, I tried to come up with a scenario that worked out without him hating me. I’d had his child, and she was over two years old. He’d missed two years of her life. In what world was that okay?
In my defense, how was I supposed to find him when I had so very little to go on? I’d had his first name and very little else. Hell, I still didn’t know much more than I had then.
Maybe I should ask my mom what to do.
No.
She would only worry and tell me I needed to tell him, which I already knew.
Maybe I would just head back to Des Moines tomorrow after I met with Mama Jean. It would give me time and space to think, even though I knew I couldn’t put it off too long.
Trying desperately to go to sleep, I tossed and turned.
It didn’t help that I smelled him all over me. It was like he was wrapped around me, and every time I moved, I caught a faint whiff of his cologne or his leather.
Or sex.
Yeah, I smelled a lot like sex. I needed to shower first thing in the morning.
Frustrated, I punched my pillow in an attempt to make it more comfortable. No good.
I flipped it over, looking for the cool spot. Nope.
I tried counting sheep. Who the hell came up with that crappy idea? It didn’t work for shit! Ugh!
Most of the night, I lay wide awake.
I must have dozed off somewhere around dawn, because I vaguely remembered hearing my dad get up to start his day.
After I finally dozed off, my dreams were haunted. The recent memory of Colton’s touch, kiss, and his body against mine was like a living, breathing thing.
FIRST THING IN THE morning, I knocked on Hacker’s door. I’d waited as long as I could, barely sleeping all night.
I needed to ask him how to find her.
I’d tried to call her when I woke, but she didn’t answer her fucking phone. Besides, this was something I needed to talk to her about face-to-face. Beyond worrying about pissing off that douche she was with, I needed to see her.
If she could be with me last night, things couldn’t be that great with them.
When he didn’t answer, I pounded on the door again. My ear was damn near pressed to the wood as I listened for his steps or any sign of life.
“For fuck’s sake! I’m coming. Shit! There better be a motherfucking fire,” he mumbled. There was thumping and rustling behind the door before it flew open and Hacker glared at me. With bloodshot eyes, he stood there dressed only in his boxers.
“What the fuck, man? It’s like 7:00 a.m.”
“Hacker, I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. It’s important.”
He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “At seven in the morning? Shit. You’re killing me.”
“It’s about Stephanie. I need to talk to her. I need to know where I can find her.” I pleaded with my eyes. Jesus, I was like a fucking lunatic. I was beginning to unravel, and it was bullshit.
The words had no sooner left my mouth than he rushed me. Grabbing me by the front of my cut, he slammed my ass against the wall. His face in a vicious snarl, he did it again before I could even think to defend myself.
“It was you! You motherfucker, I should gut you now. What the fuck did you do to her? I knew something had happened!” He looked like he would strangle me any second.
Pisse
d, I grabbed his wrists and shoved him away from me. “Get your fucking hands off me! I didn’t fucking do anything to her she didn’t want.”
A rock-hard fist connected with my jaw before I saw it coming.
Jesus H. Christ! Reflex had me reacting, and I punched him in the gut. As he doubled over, I pushed my hair out of my face and stepped back.
“Goddamn, man, I don’t want to fight with you. I just need to talk to her,” I said in defeat.
He remained bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing deep, head bowed. After a minute, he lifted his head.
“Just leave her alone, Reaper. She’s like my little sister, and she has a kid, man. They don’t need your kind of shit baggage. Just… just stay away from her.”
A kid? What? What the fuck is this stupid motherfucker talking about?
My head shook back and forth in denial. She didn’t have a kid. He was fucking crazy. Unless that was what she wanted to talk to me about.
Shit, maybe she was married. Or maybe she thought what we’d done was a horrible mistake.
My head spun.
Fuck me. Unable to grasp the thoughts fucking up my head, I leaned against the wall. Defeated, I slid down until I sat with my arms propped on my knees and my hands dangled loose.
All those years of holding her in my mind, staring at that damn picture, praying I might find her again.
They say be careful what you wish for. Now I wished I’d never seen her again. At least then I could have continued to feel like there was still hope.
The blackness in my soul, which I fought so hard to keep at bay, was creeping in to swallow me.
When I rolled out of bed, my bleary eyes could barely focus. Stumbling to the bathroom, I climbed in before the water was even hot. After a cursory wash, I got out and went back to my room to dress.
My phone lit up as I entered the room. Damn, since going to bed last night, I’d missed five calls and had seven text messages. Shit. I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. But as I opened the messages, I saw all but one were from Michael.
Demented Sons Series Volume One: Books 1-4 (Demented Sons MC Iowa) Page 12
