Demented Sons Series Volume One: Books 1-4 (Demented Sons MC Iowa)

by Kristine Allen

  “I want him to leave,” Stephanie said in a muffled voice. She had her hands over her face as she lay in her bed crying. Her mom looked at us with sympathy as she tried to console her baby girl.

  “Sir, I need you to leave for a while. Just give her some time to calm down and rest,” the nurse said quietly as she stepped between me and Stephanie. Hollywood and Hacker came closer, and Hollywood placed his arm around my shoulder.

  “Come on, bro. Let’s go grab a bite to eat and let your girl chill. We can check on her in a bit. She’ll probably be better then. Okay?” He was trying to talk quietly so Stephanie couldn’t hear and argue with him.

  Trying not to lose my cool, I shook off his arm and turned to the bed.

  “I’ll be back, baby. Fucking wild horses couldn’t keep me away from you. You are beautiful. Always.” I took a fortifying breath. “You. Are. Mine. Please, don’t make me stay away.” My voice fucking cracked as I begged her not to shut me out. My heart was breaking for her and for the rift building between us.

  When she didn’t answer, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and stalked out of the room. I needed some wind therapy.

  Fuck.

  OH MY GOD. I looked like total hell. How could I look like that and not remember what’d happened to me? How could Colton look at me and not think I was disgusting?

  The nurse was checking the machines I was hooked up to. Swallowing with difficulty, I watched her. For a moment I hesitated, but I needed to know. Desperately, I fought back more tears as I spoke.

  “Kristina? Can you please tell me what happened to me? I need to know exactly what’s wrong. I can’t remember any of it.” I was so confused, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember anything that happened. That made me angry and frustrated, which led to my head pounding.

  She looked at me, then at the floor before she took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Let me get your doctor to explain it, okay?”

  Heart in my throat, I nodded.

  It wasn’t long before the nurse followed a woman in a white coat into the room.

  “Hello, Mrs. Quinn. I’m Dr. North,” she said.

  “Stephanie,” I corrected.

  “Of course. Stephanie.” She smiled. She barely looked old enough to be a doctor.

  Grabbing the chair, she sat down beside me. She made me feel better by doing that. Somehow I didn’t feel like she was looking down her nose at me.

  “Are you okay with me talking in front of your guest?” She glanced my mother’s way.

  I nodded, and she took a deep breath.

  “You went into hypovolemic shock from blood loss and dehydration, suffered abrasions to both wrists and ankles, your cheekbone is fractured, you have several severely bruised ribs, and you suffered from a collapsed lung on arrival. You have multiple lacerations to the side of your face, abdomen, and legs, and significant stab wounds to your left breast and abdomen,” she explained.

  She glanced down briefly, then returned her gaze to mine. “Stephanie… there was evidence of rape, and you also had been… um… bitten several times.” Her face blanched as she tried to maintain a professional demeanor. “The stab wound to your abdomen was what required surgery. Because you’d lost so much, you received two pints of blood. Thankfully, and fortunately for your recovery, it didn’t severely damage any major organs. It did nick your liver and intestines, but the integrity of the intestinal wall was preserved. In other words, it didn’t go all the way through. The surgeons recommended we keep you in a medically induced coma due to the trauma to your brain. There was a brain bleed and swelling noted on your scans. Combine all that with your cardiac arrest after surgery, and well, that’s a lot. You have a fairly long road to recovery, but not as long as it could’ve been.”

  Again, she hesitated. “Were you aware that you were pregnant?” she asked with a weak smile.

  Speechless, I knew I was staring at her like she’d sprouted a third eye.

  “Excuse me?” I finally choked out. Surely I’d heard her wrong. It was likely due to the shock of all the things that’d happened to me. All the things I had no memory of. Perhaps she’d looked at someone else’s chart. Then denial set in.

  “I am not pregnant. You must have the wrong information. I have not had unprotected sex, and that was only at the most a few of weeks ago! There’s clearly a mistake.”

  Colton and I had not had sex without a condom. I was sure we didn’t. No way. I shook my head until it hurt.

  Again she appeared to weigh her words.

  “Mrs. Quinn, there was evidence your attacker didn’t use protection. It was a blood test, which is usually extremely accurate as soon as six to eight days after ovulation. We can run them again, and I can put in an ultrasound consult now that you’re awake, but it’s up to you.” She looked a little nervous now, and I felt bad for her. It dawned on me that she had no way of knowing if the baby was my attacker’s or my husband’s.

  Assumed husband, that was.

  After all, she thought Colton was my husband.

  Shit.

  Oh my God, did they tell him? They thought he was my husband! They may’ve thought he knew. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. My mother let out a soft whimper from the corner of the room.

  “Do you have any further questions for me?” she asked.

  Words failed me, so I just shook my head.

  After a short examination, she exited the room.

  “Are you hurting again? You haven’t used your PCA yet. All you have to do is push the button. If it’s time for you to have medication, it’ll allow the machine to give it to you. Don’t worry about overdosing; the machine is designed to prevent that from happening. Just don’t let anyone else press the button for you.” Kristina was sweet, and I was thankful she was my nurse.

  “No, I’m okay. Except I didn’t know I was pregnant. God, I don’t know what to do. It would have to be Colton’s, right?” My brain wouldn’t function. “What if it’s not Colton’s? Is that possible?” I closed my eyes, but the tears still escaped.

  My mom held a cool washcloth to my head and whispered words of comfort much like she did when I was little.

  “Steph, calm down, honey. We’ll get everything figured out,” she soothed, and I leaned into her touch.

  “When can I take a shower? I feel gross.” I was shaking, and I just wanted control over something in my life.

  “I’ll check with the doctor and let you know.” The nurse rested her hand on mine and gave me an encouraging smile before leaving the room.

  Was my life ever going to be in my control?

  Hacker and Hollywood had wordlessly followed me out of the hospital. They’d stuck with me as I raced down the highway at eighty miles per hour, chasing my demons.

  It shouldn’t shock me because I’d lived with disfiguring injuries. Still, I couldn’t believe she could think she wasn’t attractive to me anymore. She was fucking gorgeous.

  Not being a superficial fuck, I didn’t care about what she looked like. I fucking loved her inside and out. It didn’t matter if she had five eyes and no nose, I’d still love her.

  Okay, that was a little extreme, but I’d been in love with the idea of her for years.

  Shit.

  I fucking loved her. When the fuck did that actually happen?

  Sure, when I’d first seen her again, I’d been overwhelmed by emotion. Except I didn’t know how deeply.

  Looking back, it sounded sappy as fuck, but I honestly believed I’d loved her from the first moment I saw her. She’d been my saving grace, my angel, while I was deployed and throughout my hellish recovery. I’d carried her in the back of my mind this whole time.

  When I found out she’d given birth to my child? Shit.

  First I was angry, thinking she’d purposefully kept my baby from me. It was stupid, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. Who would when they just found out they had been a dad for over two fucking years without knowing? I’d been a hot fucking mess.

  Hell, I was an
only child, and I’d lost my mom my senior year of high school and never knew my dad. Family was a rare and precious commodity to me. Deep down, I’d known she wouldn’t do that. She was too good a person, but I’d still been angry and hateful.

  She truly touched and unfurled a part of my soul I thought had shriveled up and died in Afghanistan. She gave my life purpose again.

  What was I going to do if she fucking turned her back on me because she couldn’t get past what had happened? I knew the dark place I’d been in after leaving the army. I couldn’t even imagine her being in that hellish place. I needed to fucking be there for her, but if she shut me the fuck out, how did I make her let me in?

  We returned to Stephanie’s apartment late that night. Hollywood and Hacker split off to go have some drinks and then head to their hotel.

  I’d missed Remi before she went to bed, and I hated it. But I didn’t want her to see me in that condition any more than I wanted her to see her momma the way she was.

  I’d spoken with Stephanie’s parents when I arrived, bringing her dad up to speed on what was going on before he headed up to the hospital.

  “I heard. I’m sorry, son,” he said.

  Her mom placed her hand on my face. “Be patient with her. Things will work out.” She started to say something else, then appeared to change her mind. She looked drained from being at the hospital most of the day.

  “Thanks” was all I could choke out. Feeling completely exhausted, I went to Remi’s room to crash on the floor by her bed. Close enough to listen to her soft, sweet, innocent breaths as I drifted into a restless sleep.

  “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” I woke to Remi shaking the bars of her crib and hollering for me.

  Her big grin was radiant when I opened one eye and looked up at her. One little arm was stretched through the bars toward my head, her fingers wiggling like it would make them longer.

  Smiling back at her, I reached up and took her fingers in mine. “Hi, princess. Daddy’s here.” Despite my grin, I groaned as I sat up. Shit, my body couldn’t take all the abuse I’d been handing it lately.

  Once upon a time, I would’ve crashed on a pile of rocks in the mountains or out on the sand in the desert and slept when and where I could. Damn, not anymore.

  Creaking as I stood, I picked up the quilt I’d wrapped around me and tossed it over the end of the crib.

  Reaching down, I swooped her up and into the air, plastering kisses all over her giggling face. “Daddy loves you.”

  Between that little precious girl and her momma, my heart was gone. They fucking owned it.

  And now… shit. Hugging Remi to me, I thought about what the doctor had told me. Remi was going to be a big sister.

  Part of me wondered if it was mine.

  There was what had happened with Michael, after all.

  Also, I didn’t know all the details of her life before we’d found each other again.

  I was going through each time with her in my mind, and I was pretty sure we’d used protection every time. No, I wasn’t fucking stupid, and I knew they weren’t infallible, but….

  Hugging Remi to me tightly, I closed my eyes. Once she began to squirm, I set her down, and she ran off toward the living area in search of her grandparents and food.

  Taking advantage of their voices with hers, I went to brush my teeth and get ready to go see Stephanie.

  If she would see me.

  IT’D BEEN ALMOST THREE weeks since my admission, and I was finally being discharged. My deepest wound had developed an infection, prolonging my stay, but after several days of IV antibiotics, the doctors had finally deemed me able to go home for the rest of my recovery.

  Mom had brought me a set of clothes to wear home when she visited the day before.

  There I was, dressed in my yoga pants and a baggy T-shirt to prevent too much pressure or constriction on my healing wounds. The swelling was gone from my face, and the bruising was fading to an awful greenish yellow blend. All I was waiting on was the nurse to go over my discharge instructions and for my mom to get there.

  My phone rang and I smiled when I saw Becca’s face on the screen.

  “Hey!”

  “Hello, beautiful! A little birdie told me you’re getting sprung today!” She sounded chipper and I hoped it was sincere. She’d been trying to hide how bad things had gotten with Trevor. I hated that for her.

  “Yeah, thank God. I’m so tired of this place.” I sighed.

  “But at least you have that sexy man to look at. God, what are the odds that you’d find him again in your hometown? Talk about fate. Makes my heart flutter for you,” she teased.

  We chatted for a few minutes before she had to go because her lunch was almost over.

  Glancing at my watch, I wondered where my mother was. I really want to get out of there before Colton showed up.

  He had tried to see me every day, multiple times a day, and I’d turned him away and left instructions with the staff not to let him in.

  I didn’t remember what had happened to me. The doctors told me I may never recover my memories of the incident. The thought of him feeling sorry for me was too much. It made me feel like his affection was the result of guilt.

  Not to mention I still felt dirty. Soiled. Ruined. Not good enough for him.

  The pregnancy needed to be discussed, but I was terrified it may not be his. What if the baby was Michael’s? How exact was that crap, anyway?

  How could I possibly expect Colton to want anything to do with me or the baby without knowing if it was his or not? If by some crazy chance it turned out it wasn’t his, I needed to let him go, and he needed to move on.

  Right?

  The nurse came in and went over all my paperwork. I’d been disappointed that it wasn’t Kristina working that day. She’d been my nurse for the majority of my stay, and I’d miss her kindness, humor, and wit.

  My dad had headed back to the house late last night, and my mom was picking me up but still wasn’t there. Maybe traffic was bad. I decided to lie down and rest until she got there.

  The feeling of being watched jolted me awake. I guess I’d dozed off.

  Carefully, I raised myself. Trying not to pull anything too badly, I looked over to find Colton standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. His expression was unreadable, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from running over his body. God, he was still the sexiest man I had ever seen. Just looking at him made my heart ache.

  Jesus.

  He smirked, and my face heated because I knew he’d noticed my perusal of his gorgeous body.

  Asshole. Why did he have to be so damn good-looking? And why was he here? Mom was supposed to come and get me.

  I wanted to run my tongue across the coarse hairs of his beard and into his dimples. Argh! Stop it, Steph! Get control of yourself, for God’s sake!

  “Your mom and dad headed back home with Remi. We loaded up all of your stuff this morning in your brothers’ and your dad’s trucks. Sam rode my bike back for me so I could drive you in your SUV.” He paused a moment as if hesitant. “Stephanie, we need to talk, and I thought this would be a good chance for that.” He suddenly looked tired and uncertain.

  Vulnerable.

  It was not the self-assured, hard-ass Colton I knew.

  “Maybe we don’t have anything to talk about right now.” I looked away from the mesmerizing quality of his blue eyes and out the hospital window.

  How did life go on and people in their cars just keep driving down the road when my life had been so interrupted? Didn’t it affect anyone else? A deep depression settled in at the thought of the empty chasm in my memories. It wasn’t fair.

  “Then I guess we’ll spend a few hours in companionable silence. Come on, Stephanie, you can’t stay here. The nurse told me you’d been discharged and were ready to go. Please let me help you down to the car.” He stepped back out of the room and brought in a wheelchair, stopping by my bedside, placing the brakes on, and flipping up the footrests.

  “You k
now your way around a wheelchair.” Oh shit. That was intelligent. Of course he did. Smooth. “Why do you call me Stephanie all the time? Everyone else calls me Steph, but not you.” I couldn’t help being curious, and it seemed a better topic than bringing up his wheelchair experience from his past injuries.

  “Well, first, yeah, I spent more than a little bit of time in one.” He gave me a self-depreciated deprecating smile. “And second question, because you are so much more than Steph to me. I like to think you’re more special to me than to anyone else. You’re elegant, beautiful, and extraordinary. You are my Stephanie.” His eyes took on an intense shimmer as he held out a hand to help me into the chair.

  Unsure, I looked at his hand as a peace offering. My desire to touch him won out, and I extended my hand to his.

  As he clasped it, tingles and a physical jolt flickered through my body all the way to my toes. My eyes met his in stunned astonishment. Did he feel that? His eyes widened only slightly; had I not been looking for it, I would have missed it. Oh yeah, he noticed.

  My nipples puckered under my thin lace bra in response. Of course, that drew his attention. God, did the man have radar for sexual desire?

  He tried to hide his smile. Though I tried to look stern in reproof, I couldn’t stop a small chuckle from escaping. Shaking my head, I gently sat down in the chair. Shit, it hurt my stomach.

  It had me wishing I would’ve taken the nurse up on her offer of a pain pill before she discharged me. A small groan escaped from my lips.

  “Are you okay?” He was quickly down on one knee in front of me. Holding my hands in one of his big calloused palms, he gently stroked my hair from my face with the other.

  The concern that colored his features was genuine and touching. When I wordlessly nodded, he stretched up to kiss first the cheek his fingers had caressed and then, ever so softly, my lips. He took his time ending the tender kiss. When he finally broke free, he ran the very tip of his tongue across my bottom lip.

  “Jesus fucking Christ, Stephanie. You’re hurt, but your body calls to mine like a siren, and I want to taste you even now.” He rested his forehead against mine as he gathered control of his ragged breaths. “We need to get out of here and on the road. I’m such a stupid, selfish prick.”