Demented Sons Series Volume One: Books 1-4 (Demented Sons MC Iowa)

by Kristine Allen

  As she abandoned her search, she stood and some of her blonde hair slipped from her sloppy bun. “Okay, well, if you change your mind, you let me know. I’m going to go make sure there are plenty of towels in your bathroom. Erikson will show you to your room whenever you’re ready. I’ll just let you two boys visit. It’s a pleasure to have you here, young man.” With a smile, she left the room, and Erik dropped to a chair at the table that was in a nook off the kitchen.

  “Thank God. I love her, but she hasn’t left me alone the whole time I’ve been here.” His hands ran through his dark hair, leaving it standing on end all over the place.

  “That hair doesn’t look in regulation, Jaeger.” Setting my cup on a coaster at the table, I dropped into the chair across from him with a smirk.

  “Man, fuck off.” As soon as he said the cuss word, he cringed and looked around for his mom. It was funny as shit. “So, you’ll be in the guest room next to my sister. Bexley is in town because she’s on break from school. She goes to Iowa State and stays with my brother Jonathan while she’s there, but comes home over breaks. Don’t fuck with my sister.” His deadpan expression had me shaking my head at him.

  “Dude, don’t worry. The last thing I need is female trouble right now.” Slouching back in my chair, I took a tentative sip of my coffee. “You grew up here?” Changing the subject, I gestured around me with a nod of my head.

  “Yeah, I did. Man, this house holds a lot of memories. My parents keep talking about selling it after Bexley graduates this year, and it tears my guts apart, you know?” Standing slowly, he walked over to make himself a cup of coffee—without his crutches. “But they keep saying it’s too big. So I keep telling them it will be full of grandkids one day and they’ll be thankful for the space.” I think it dawned on him what he had said, because I saw the shadow that crossed his face. He’d told me about why he joined the Marines, so I knew that was a sore subject for him.

  “You planning on giving them grandkids after what happened?” My voice was soft and sincere, all joking set aside. He damn near avoided women like the plague after what he’d been through.

  “Fuck no. But if I had my guess, my oldest brother, Jon, will be having one before we know it.” Returning to the table, he looked me in the eye and hit me with what I knew he’d been just biding his time to ask. “So what gives? You told me you had stuff with your family and didn’t know if you would make it. Then suddenly you call me and say you’re almost here. Now you say you don’t need female trouble. What the fuck happened to make you change your mind and show up here like that? Was it Sera?”

  My eyes closed to avoid meeting his, but all I saw was Sera, so I opened them and stared sightlessly at the cooling coffee in my cup. This wasn’t something I wanted to talk about yet. “No. It was nothing, man, just needed to get away from everything there. Besides—” I looked up and forced a grin on my face. “—I missed your ugly ass.”

  “Man, what-the-fuck-ever. All right. No problem. You tell me when you’re ready.” Didn’t know when that would ever be. Just the thought of talking about Tyler’s death, then what happened with Sera, made it hard to breathe.

  “Man, I need a smoke. You mind if I step out onto the porch real quick?”

  “No problem, but know that if my mom sees you, she’s gonna be ragging on you to quit.” Smirking, he waved me to the kitchen door that led to the back porch. The frigid air had me smoking in record time before I rushed back in to the warmth of the kitchen.

  “¡Chingados! It’s cold out there. How do you live in a place like this? Damn!” Shivering head to toe, I sat back at the table where I grabbed the still-hot mug and wrapped my fingers tight around its blessed heat. Ignoring his chuckle, I took as big a drink of the steaming brew as I could.

  After I started to thaw, we sat there in silence, drinking our coffee and letting our demons swirl in our heads.

  “Broken”—Seether (feat. Amy Lee)

  THE NIGHT KAYDE DROVE away, I wanted to die. It was as if I had lost him all over again, on top of losing my husband. Despite the fact that Tyler and I were planning to divorce, we were still great friends and I loved him. The baby growing in my belly was the only thing that kept me from wanting to end my life—and that’s the God’s honest truth. My mind was shattered along with my heart. It felt like everyone I loved abandoned me.

  My mother had left us and never looked back. We had no idea if she was even still alive. Kayde left after I graduated, and we rarely heard from him. Tyler died on me. He was young and should still be here, chasing his dreams and looking for the true love he so deserved. Instead he was cold in the ground. My brother could hardly be around me anymore because I reminded him of the loss of both of his best friends. Then Kayde left me… again.

  Showing up the way he did, I thought he finally realized he loved me and was back to be with me. Instead, he gave me one of the most incredible experiences of my life and then told me to forget about him. How did he think that was even possible? If I had never forgotten him after he went off to be a Marine and into dangerous situations all the time—all without really keeping in touch—how did he think I could just pretend that night never happened?

  Because that night, he showed me how very wrong I’d been all those years ago. My young, fickle heart had been so giddy with infatuation and conceit that Tyler had picked me over the hundreds of girls who drooled after the three of them that I had failed to see the truth.

  The truth was, I had always loved Kayde. Probably from the day I met him when I was a little girl of almost four years old. It took me years to understand my brother’s comment that he always thought it would be Kayde. My brother evidently saw more than I did, because I was just now realizing the reason it tore me up so bad when he left.

  Now he was gone again, but this time he’d completely cut me off. He’d obviously been disgusted with me for having sex with him the same day Tyler was laid to rest. Maybe not my finest hour, but was it so wrong for two people to seek comfort in each other at a time when they felt so very alone and lost?

  Regardless, Kayde had essentially disappeared. So I swore I wouldn’t seek him out anymore. That included asking his family for information about him, much like a dog begging for scraps. Going against my own promise to myself, however, I went to his abuela’s the last time I went over to see my dad. Of course, they hadn’t had any real info to give me. They said he had left them a note saying he had to return to base for an emergency, but I knew better. Not that I said anything to them, because it would have broken his poor abuela’s heart. They said since he left, he had contacted them every time he returned from a mission to let them know he was safe, but that was it.

  I was such a liar. No matter how much I told myself I wasn’t going to try to contact him, it tore me apart with the way we left things that night. So, like a fool, I had reached out. Except all the text messages I sent went unanswered, sitting perpetually on nothingness. His voice mail picked up every time I called, and then it’d been changed to a generic phone number one, so I wasn’t sure if he changed that or his number altogether. The first few times I left messages. After that, I quit trying, worried I was leaving messages on someone else’s new number.

  My e-mails came back as undeliverable.

  Letters came back return to sender, address unknown.

  Months had passed, and nothing. Not a word.

  Looking down at my beautiful son, I slid my finger along the curve of his soft, chubby cheek. If I didn’t know any better, he could’ve been Kayde’s son. I knew the curling, wavy hair was from me, but with it being inky black, it looked so much like Kayde’s. When he wasn’t sleeping, his eyes were a stormy blue. Of course, I knew they would probably change, but I didn’t know what they would end up being—blue like Tyler’s summer blue eyes, or hazel like mine.

  The day little Tyler was born, the only one in the delivery room with me had been Marla. When I told everyone his name was going to be Tyler Kayde Healy, she had cried and told me her Tyler would have bee
n so proud. Maybe it was stupid of me to name him after Kayde as well, but it felt right. Christian had just harrumphed, but I saw the small smile and the brief light in his eyes when I told him and my dad.

  As I sat rocking Tyler, or Ty as I had taken to calling him, my mind wandered to times gone by, randomly and slowly flitting from one memory to the next. Shaking the old visions from my head, I told myself I needed to lay him down so I didn’t spoil him, but God, I didn’t want to let him go. Even though the little munchkin was getting heavy, and at his appointment today the doctor had told me he was in the ninety-eighth percentile for his height and weight, meaning he was a big boy. I still loved the feel of his chubby body in my arms, the scent of his baby-lotion-scented skin as I kissed his forehead. He turned six months old the other day, and he would never know his father. He also had yet to meet his namesake. It hurt.

  When the doorbell rang, my little boy jumped in my arms but remained asleep. With a heavy sigh, I stood and placed him in his crib, kissing my fingers before touching them to his head, then rushing to the door before they rang the damn bell again.

  Ever cautious, I looked out the living room window through the front porch to see a man in a suit standing there. Glancing past him to the street, I saw what appeared to be an unmarked police car. He looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place him.

  Stepping warily onto the porch, I was glad I always locked the storm door. “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, ma’am, I’m Detective Madison. I’ve been working your husband’s case, and I was wondering if you had a few minutes so I could ask you a few questions.” He had my interest, but I was confused. Now I remembered who he was though. He had stopped by to talk to me and check on me several times after Tyler’s murder. A lot of the guys had though. They still stopped by at least once a week. Just a speculation, but I was pretty sure my brother had something to do with that.

  “Umm, okay. Did you find the guy?” It had been over a year, after all. You would think it wouldn’t be that damn hard to find a guy who shot a cop during a route traffic stop, but it had been a damn cluster fuck from the beginning. The plates on the car had been stolen, the name he gave Tyler—along with his driver’s license—had turned out to be fake, and of course, neither Tyler’s dash cam nor his body cam had yielded decent video footage of the driver to attempt any facial recognition.

  In a day where we watched shows about the crafty ways law enforcement utilized state-of-the-art technology to capture criminals, I found most of it was bullshit and the only places that shit was used was in wealthy areas and on TV.

  “Could I come in for a moment? Here’s my badge if you want to call and check that I’m legitimate.” He held out his badge for my inspection, his dark brown eyes earnest and calm, but I shook my head. It was unnecessary; I remembered him pretty clearly now.

  “It’s fine, come on in. Would you like some coffee? Water?” He politely declined, and I motioned for him to have a seat at the kitchen table as I turned up the baby monitor and set it on the counter behind me.

  He proceeded to fill me in on the lack of information and leads they had. “Can you think of anything out of the ordinary that may have happened around that time? Anything you can remember may be helpful.”

  “Like I told everyone before, there was nothing. It had been like any other morning and day. Nothing special, nothing concerning. Tyler was in a great mood, went through his morning routine like always, no changes, no concerns. And after so much time has passed, I doubt anyone is going to come forward with any new information, and I certainly don’t remember anything I didn’t remember then. No offense, Detective.”

  “Please, call me Lawrence. And it’s fine, this is just a formality. Also, I wanted to check on you to make sure you and your son were doing okay and didn’t need anything. We stick together, and you’re still one of us—you and your son.”

  Though the sentiment was nice, I didn’t really feel like I was part of the force family. It felt more like I was an obligatory burden. “I appreciate that, Lawrence. Really, I do, but we’re as good as we can be. We’re just trying to live our life. That’s all.”

  “Well, if there’s anything I can do for you, please don’t be afraid to ask.” He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and handed me one of his cards. Nodding my thanks, I fought the tears that clogged my throat. Kindness was hard for me to accept.

  He stood to go, and I walked him to the door. Just as he was stepping out the door, he turned and hesitated, running his hand through his short auburn hair. Clearing his throat, he looked down, then into my eyes. “So… Mrs. Healy….” He hesitated again.

  “It’s actually Hernandez-Healy, but please, call me Serafina.”

  “Serafina.” My name rolled across his tongue, and he smiled. His face brightened with that smile, and I realized he was a handsome man. “Umm, maybe I’m out of line, and you can tell me if I am, but… well, would you like to have dinner sometime?”

  That was a surprise. In the time since Tyler was lost to me, not one single guy had asked me out. Of course, not a lot of guys were jumping at the thought of a ready-made family, and most probably assumed I was in a relationship when they saw me with Ty. It hadn’t bothered me though, because I wasn’t ready for the whole dating scene.

  So when I accepted his invitation, it was as much a surprise to me as it was to him. But I was getting tired of just existing. Working in the ER, taking care of Ty, and staring at the four walls was the extent of my life these days. I needed a break. Some change. Maybe this would help, and maybe, just maybe, I might be able to forget about Kayde and the way my heart lurched at the mere thought of his name.

  “Turn the Page”—Metallica

  MOTHERFUCKER. I WAS GETTING too old for this shit, and I was only twenty-seven years old. Too much shit. Getting shot—twice—blown up, stabbed. Yeah, that was the latest. We were clearing a building and this motherfucking kid stabbed me in the side as I slowly turned a corner. He damn near got shot in the fucking face. At the last second, I realized it was a kid and I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, his giant Ka-Bar still sticking out of my side.

  “Jesus, Gunny. You have a fucking knife sticking out of your gut!” The young corporal looked at me like I had a dick on my forehead. This was his first mission in the big A with us. He had promise, but at that moment, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him as I gritted my teeth in pain.

  “No fucking shit. Can you take this rug rat and get him out of my sight before I wring his goddamn neck? And get the fucking corpsman in here, like now!.” The telltale light-headedness was swimming at the periphery of my vision, and I knew I may not be standing long. Looking down, I watched the drips of crimson blood as it splatted on the floor and the toe of my boot in what appeared to be slow motion. The room began to waver, and I knew I better sit before I fell and made the situation worse.

  Sliding down the wall, I tried to take slow, deep breaths, but the pain was getting to be excruciating. Ripping at the shemagh around my neck, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Through a haze, I heard the muffled voices of the corpsman and my team as they laid me down, worked on me, and called a 9 line MEDEVAC. Shit. This wasn’t how I thought I’d go out. I had been a skilled, methodical machine who had fast-tracked his way up to the rank of E-7. Obviously I was losing my edge. I really thought I would go out in a hailstorm of bullets.

  My head flopped from side to side as they carried me on a makeshift stretcher up so many damn stairs, I felt for sure we were heading to heaven. “They won’t let me in,” I mumbled.

  “It’s okay, Gunny. We got you. It’s gonna be okay. Just stay with me. What’s my name?” The corpsman held my face to get me to focus on him.

  His name? Fuck, he had a name? Focusing on him wasn’t working, though I tried. It was a losing battle however, and I could only see his vibrant green eyes as everything else was swallowed up by a seeping blackness. Then everything was dark.

  “It’s about time you fucking woke up.” The fam
iliar voice rang through my ears. Grit coated my eyes, and my lids were heavy as shit. When I reached up to rub my eyes to clear them, all the shit taped to my hand scraped my face.

  “The fuck?” Blinking repeatedly until my fuzzy vision began to clear, I looked up and saw Erik sitting by my beside, elbows resting on his knees. “Madre de Dios, what the fuck are you doing here? And where the hell am I?”

  Chuckling, he stood and stepped closer to my bed. “Well, you’re about three feet of small intestine shorter, and you’ve been in and out of consciousness for the last few days because you ended up with an infection, probably from that nasty-ass fucking Ka-Bar pig sticker they removed from your side. Now you’re here at Walter Reed. And I rode out here to be with you, because you’re a stubborn-ass motherfucker and you still have me listed as your emergency contact instead of your family. This wasn’t something I could keep from them, however, so your abuela and pops just got here, and they are getting settled in the Fischer House.”

  My head dropped back to the pillow, and I closed my eyes. “I feel like I got run over by a fucking Mack truck. Goddamn. I need to get back to the team. They need me and here I am lying in a damn hospital bed.”

  “Maguire, when are you going to quit doing this to yourself? When is it going to be enough? The next time, you may not be so lucky, and then I’ll be sitting by your goddamn graveside instead of your bedside.” He sounded mad as hell, and I looked at him in shock. His hands gripped my bed rails so tight his knuckles were white. “And what about your abuela? Her poor heart can’t take much more of this shit.”

  “What the fuck are you doing here if all you’re going to do is chew my ass?” Bone weary, my voice sounded as tired as I felt.

  “I’m here because you’re probably my best friend and I love you. But fuck, this is the third time I’ve been by your bedside. You aren’t a cat. You don’t have nine damn lives. I’m begging you. As your friend, I’m begging you, please… get the fuck out while you still can.”