by T. S. Eliot
It’s very odd,
But I am beginning to feel, just beginning to feel
That there is something I could understand, if I were told it.
But I’m not sure that I want to know. I suppose I’m getting old:
Old age came softly up to now. I felt safe enough;
And now I don’t feel safe. As if the earth should open
Right to the centre, as I was about to cross Pall Mall.
I thought that life could bring no further surprises;
But I remember now, that I am always surprised
By the bull-dog in the Burlington Arcade.
What if every moment were like that, if one were awake?
You both seem to know more about this than I do.
[Enter DOWNING, hurriedly, in chauffeur’s costume.]
DOWNING
Oh, excuse me, Miss, excuse me, Mr. Charles:
His Lordship sent me back because he remembered
He thinks he left his cigarette-case on the table.
Oh, there it is. Thank you. Good night. Miss; good night.
Miss Mary; good night, Sir.
MARY
Downing, will you promise never to leave his Lordship
While you are away?
DOWNING
Oh, certainly, Miss;
I’ll never leave him so long as he requires me.
MARY
But he will need you. You must never leave him.
DOWNING
You may think it laughable, what I’m going to say—
But it’s not really strange, Miss, when you come to look at it:
After all these years that I’ve been with him
I think I understand his Lordship better than anybody;
And I have a kind of feeling that his Lordship won’t need me
Very long now. I can’t give you any reasons.
But to show you what I mean, though you’d hardly credit it,
I’ve always said, whatever happened to his Lordship
Was just a kind of preparation for something else.
I’ve no gift of language, but I’m sure of what I mean:
We most of us seem to live according to circumstance,
But with people like him, there’s something inside them
That accounts for what happens to them. You get a feeling of it.
So I seem to know beforehand, when something’s going to happen,
And it seems quite natural, being his Lordship.
And that’s why I say now, I have a feeling
That he won’t want me long, and he won’t want anybody.
AGATHA
And, Downing, if his behaviour seems unaccountable
At times, you mustn’t worry about that.
He is every bit as sane as you or I,
He sees the world as clearly as you or I see it,
It is only that he has seen a great deal more than that,
And we have seen them too—Miss Mary and I.
DOWNING
I understand you, Miss. And if I may say so.
Now that you’ve raised the subject, I’m most relieved—
If you understand my meaning. I thought that was the reason
We was off tonight. In fact, I half expected it,
So I had the car all ready. You mean them ghosts, Miss!
I wondered when his Lordship would get round to seeing them—
And so you’ve seen them tool They must have given you a turn!
They did me, at first. You soon get used to them.
Of course, I knew they was to do with his Lordship,
And not with me, so I could see them cheerful-like,
In a manner of speaking. There’s no harm in them,
I’ll take my oath. Will that be all, Miss?
AGATHA
That will be all, thank you, Downing. We mustn’t keep you;
His Lordship will be wondering why you’ve been so long.
[Exit DOWNING. Enter IVY.]
IVY
Where is Downing going? where is Harry?
Look. Here’s a telegram come from Arthur;
[Enter GERALD and VIOLET.]
I wonder why he sent it, after telephoning.
Shall I read it to you? I was wondering
Whether to show it to Amy or not.
[Reads.]
‘Regret delayed business in town many happy returns see you tomorrow many happy returns hurrah love Arthur.’
I mean, after what we know of what did happen,
Do you think Amy ought to see it?
VIOLET
No, certainly not.
You do not know what has been going on, Ivy.
And if you did, you would not understand it.
I do not understand, so how could you? Amy is not well;
And she is resting.
IVY
Oh, I’m sorry. But can’t you explain?
Why do you all look so peculiar? I think I might be allowed
To know what has happened.
AMY’S VOICE
Agatha! Mary! come!
The clock has stopped in the dark!
[Exeunt AGATHA and MARY. Pause. Enter WARBURTON.]
WARBURTON
Well! it’s a filthy night to be out in.
That’s why I’ve been so long, going and coming.
But I’m glad to say that John is getting on nicely;
It wasn’t so serious as Winchell made out,
And we’ll have him up here in the morning.
I hope Lady Monchensey hasn’t been worrying?
I’m anxious to relieve her mind. Why, what’s the trouble?
[Enter MARY.]
MARY
Dr. Warburton!
WARBURTON
Excuse me.
[Exeunt MARY and WARBURTON.]
CHORUS
We do not like to look out of the same window, and see quite a different landscape.
We do not like to climb a stair, and find that it takes us down.
We do not like to walk out of a door, and find ourselves back in the same room.
We do not like the maze in the garden, because it too closely resembles the maze in the brain.
We do not like what happens when we are awake, because it too closely resembles what happens when we are asleep.
We understand the ordinary business of living,
We know how to work the machine,
We can usually avoid accidents,
We are insured against fire,
Against larceny and illness,
Against defective plumbing,
But not against the act of God.
We know various spells and enchantments,
And minor forms of sorcery,
Divination and chiromancy,
Specifics against insomnia,
Lumbago, and the loss of money.
But the circle of our understanding
Is a very restricted area.
Except for a limited number
Of strictly practical purposes
We do not know what we are doing;
And even, when you think of it,
We do not know much about thinking.
What is happening outside of the circle?
And what is the meaning of happening?
What ambush lies beyond the heather
And behind the Standing Stones?
Beyond the Heaviside Layer
And behind the smiling moon?
And what is being done to us?
And what are we, and what are we doing?
To each and all of these questions
There is no conceivable answer.
We have suffered far more than a personal loss—
We have lost our way in the dark.
IVY
I shall have to stay till after the funeral: will my ticket to London still be valid?
GERALD
I do not look forward with pleasure to dealing with Arthur and John in the morning.
VIOLET
<
br /> We must wait for the will to be read. I shall send a wire in the morning.
CHARLES
I fear that my mind is not what it was—or was it?—and yet I think that I might understand.
ALL
But we must adjust ourselves to the moment: we must do the right thing.
[Exeunt.]
[Enter, from one door, AGATHA and MARY, and set a small portable table. From another door, enter DENMAN carrying a birthday cake with lighted candles, which she sets on the table. Exit DENMAN. AGATHA and MARY walk slowly in single file round and round the table, clockwise. At each revolution they blow out a few candles, so that their last words are spoken in the dark.]
AGATHA
A curse is slow in coming
To complete fruition
It cannot be hurried
And it cannot be delayed
MARY
It cannot be diverted
An attempt to divert it
Only implicates others
At the day of consummation
AGATHA
A curse is a power
Not subject to reason
Each curse has its course
Its own way of expiation
Follow follow
MARY
Not in the day time
And in the hither world
Where we know what we are doing
There is not its operation
Follow follow
AGATHA
But in the night time
And in the nether world
Where the meshes we have woven
Bind us to each other
Follow follow
MARY
A curse is written
On the under side of things
Behind the smiling mirror
And behind the smiling moon
Follow follow
AGATHA
This way the pilgrimage
Of expiation
Round and round the circle
Completing the charm
So the knot be unknotted
The crossed be uncrossed
The crooked be made straight
And the curse be ended
By intercession
By pilgrimage
By those who depart
In several directions
For their own redemption
And that of the departed—
May they rest in peace.
About the Author
THOMAS STEARNS ELIOT was born in St Louis, Missouri, in 1888. He moved to England in 1914 and published his first book of poems in 1917. He received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1948. Eliot died in 1965.
