***
Feraan straightened. ?"You snuck away just to throw yourself at Markis?" ?He was too out of breath to laugh.
"I didn't-I tried avoiding him," she desperately insisted to him. ?
He knew it wasn't by her choice; he had only meant to tease. ?But Feraan enjoyed watching her face turn red as she became flustered. ?It did not take him long to relent and describe the mechanics of the enchantment. ?"It's an unfair spell that he used. ?It forces the subject to become unbearably physically attracted to the caster. ?From the looks of it, I would wager Markis intended on leaving with you soon."
She shuddered at the thought, and Feraan didn't pause to think about how well Caelfel would take the information. ?The whole idea of Markis using the spell infuriated him. ?His eyes scanned the crowd of dancing elves for the Chief Executor, murder boiling beneath his skin. ?Caelfel Gyssedlues was not a prize to be won or dominated.
Then Feraan stopped himself, looking back down at Caelfel, wondering why he had just felt the sudden urge to protect her. ?He would not doubt if the poor girl had no idea about the significance of the Victory Dance that came after the crowning of the Spring Beauty.
A hush fell over the mass of elves, and Feraan turned to see Uthruil standing before the whole of Sal'Sumarathar. ?The councilor spoke, and his amplified voice was heard by all.
"We have a special guest from Yamalvon to present the Snowdrop Crown to Sal'Sumarathar's Beauty of Spring," Uthruil said. ?"We welcome Lady Gwyndolyn to our festivities."
There was an applause, and Feraan turned to see a second figure accompanying Uthruil. ?She was shadowed by a tall guard that Feraan recognized after a moment as Blaes Llychlin, general of the imperial army. ?Feraan blinked at the general's presence and turned to the girl who was identified as Gwyndolyn. ?He remembered Caelfel talking about her. ?Gwyndolyn was related to the empress somehow, but it did not explain why an experienced general was demoted to be the bodyguard of one she-elf. ?Feraan watched her closely, sensing the undercurrents of a dangerously powerful aura emanating from her.
Gwyndolyn took Uthruil's place and smiled brightly at the crowd before her. ?"First I am thankful for Sal'Sumarathar's hospitality. ?The empress sent me to watch over the festival preparations, and I am happy to report that Sal'Sumarathar's festival did not disappoint."
The elves clapped politely, and Gwyndolyn pulled at some of her hair nervously before continuing.
"I have personally chosen your Spring Beauty. When I announce her name, the she-elf will of course, as per custom, receive the Snowdrop Crown as well as a political pardon signed by the empress herself."
She gestured to Blaes who held a silver tray on which sat the Snowdrop Crown and a scroll wrapped in red leather. Feraan did not recall that a political pardon came with the crowning and, judging from the excited murmurs from the elves around them, he easily guessed Lady Gwyndolyn was starting a new trend.
"And now time for the naming of our queen, Sal'Sumarathar's Beauty of Spring who will lead everyone in our Victory Dance. ?This crown belongs to Caelfel Gyssedlues!"
The announcement was met with a deafening roar, and Feraan watched mutely as Caelfel slowly left him for the stage. ?Then Feraan's senses began to shift. ?Everything around Caelfel faded and as she stepped further away, she pressed into his awareness even more.
When she turned to accept her crown from Gwyndolyn, Feraan saw that her face was flushed with drink and excitement. ?Her pale hair cascaded over her shoulders, shining like glittering moonlight. ?She was warm and soft, and he knew that because he had felt her lips before. ?The green stems from her flower crown rested above her pointed ears, and though Caelfel was not the picture of nobility, Feraan could admit she was beautiful.
After the crown had been placed on her head, Caelfel accepted a drink of honeyed mead from a silver chalice, the pride of Honey Water with its famous Honey Dew plant. ?Caelfel drained the goblet quickly, and her cheeks flushed a deeper red.
Then Gwyndolyn told her, "Choose your partner."
And the whole of Sal'Sumarathar fell silent, waiting for Caelfel's decision. ?He saw her eyes scan the crowd, searching, until they rested on him. ?She left the stage, walking a straight path until she unwaveringly stood before him.
She chose him. ?Feraan Auvrearaheal, the most hated elf of the empire. ?The decision was met with a unanimous gasp from all around.
Feraan sucked in a sharp breath and nearly choked on it. ?Gwyndolyn must have thought highly of Caelfel to give her a political pardon, only for Caelfel to risk it all on him. ?After keeping himself mostly out of sight for the past eighty years, Feraan was now the focus of attention of every elf in Sal'Sumarathar. ?Over Caelfel's shoulder, he saw Gwyndolyn's eyes meet his with a smug expression.
But Feraan pushed everything else away from his mind and focused on Caelfel before him. ?He had not answered her invitation to the dance, and his silence seemed to trouble her as though he was refusing her. ?He watched her bottom lip quiver uncertainly. ?In an uncharacteristic moment of indecision, he looked down Caelfel's striking frame once more before offering a curt nod. ?Music began, and a gentle smile graced her face before he swept her away by the waist.
It was interesting, because Feraan had never led a mass of elves into a dance before.
He found something pleasing in the way he touched her and pressed his body into hers, and she did not shy from it. ?Soon his breathing became heavy, and the blood throbbed uncomfortably in his ears. ?His body was warm, and he recalled Caelfel's dance with Markis with a touch of envy.
She blossomed in the Victory Dance, and he ran his hands from her shoulders to grasp her hips. ?She moved into his touch in time with the music, and he felt her light breath against his neck. ?He inhaled, relishing her scent, an earthy yet floral fragrance.
"Do you know what the Victory Dance is?" Feraan asked in a husky voice.
Caelfel's eyes fluttered open. "Is it not a dance to celebrate the victory of the Beauty of Spring?"
Feraan laughed thickly. ?"Not quite."
He pulled her away from the center of the crowd, twirling her until they reached the fringes. ?When she didn't protest, he took her even further away from the festival until they were alone, surrounded by nothing but silence from the forest. ?He stopped them, and she leaned against a tree.
He avoided her eyes as he explained. ?"The Victory Dance is for choosing a partner with whom to celebrate the meaning of the festival."
"You couldn't tell me that back there?" Caelfel asked skeptically. ?"What is the meaning of the festival?"
"You know this. ?The festival celebrates fertility, specifically elvish fertility." ?Feraan hesitated. ?"Particularly the fertility of she-elves." ?Caelfel's eyes still held confusion. ?"It's a festival for sex," he stated bluntly, looking at her.
Caelfel's mouth parted, finally comprehending. ?"Oh." ?Then her eyes met his, and she did not blush with shame as he expected. ?"You mean I-in front of everyone-you agreed to dance with me," she pointed out stubbornly.
Feraan was taken aback by the direction her mind went. ?"I did." ?Then cupping her face, he decided to make the best of it.
He was acutely aware of the labored rise and fall of her chest, how she breathed so heavily. ?The alcohol he smelled on her breath did not surprise or repulse him. ?Instead, he crushed his mouth over hers, lasting for a fiery moment before briefly pulling away to gauge her reaction. ?They smiled at each other through the darkness, but, being elves, they could see each other perfectly. ??He touched her shimmering moonlight hair before passionately meeting her lips again.
Her mouth tasted sweet, and her delicate hands brushed his face before tightening around his neck. ?She pulled herself up to him, and he anchored her against the tree, tangling his fingers into her hair. ?He felt a great heat surging through him, and it proved unbearable. ?Centuries had passed since his last Spring Festival, and here Caelfel was offering herself to him. ?His hand went to her thigh, and his mouth moved down her neck.
Something happ
ened. ?Something suddenly locked him into place. ?He glanced down to see the amulet he had fashioned for Caelfel glowing brightly. ?Feraan twisted his body around to shield Caelfel and turned in time to see an arrow freeze in midair, centimeters away from his face. ?The amulet had done its work, protecting both the wearer and one that stood so close to her.
A member of the militia, wearing the black robes of the assassin division, lowered his bow some feet away and backed away a few paces uncertainly. ?Feraan had been generals of armies in centuries past so he could easily guess this was the work of a lone dispatcher, Markis testing the extent of his abilities.
But the heat within Feraan warped itself into a violent rage. ?He stalked toward the assassin, black fire appearing around his hands as he approached the now shaking attacker.
Feraan rushed him, sending waves of black fire towards the desecrator of his night. ?When the smoke cleared, his opponent had fled through the night, leaving the smell of burnt flesh behind him.
He turned back to Caelfel, intending to make the best of what happened, but her wide eyes were horrified at what had just transpired. ?It ruined his mood.
Feraan sighed heavily, grabbing her hand as he passed her. ?"Let's go home. ?Coming to the festival was idiotic," he grumbled, scolding her.
She didn't object as he pulled her along. ?"You didn't enjoy yourself?" she asked dubiously.
"No," he said through gritted teeth, too incensed to admit the truth.
12. Unmasked
Caelfel eagerly followed Feraan home, twitching with anticipation, but it quickly became apparent that Feraan's mood had been spoiled for the night. ?It seemed to sour her mood too, so by the time they reached his house, she was already frowning. ?He glanced at her briefly, and though she knew he saw her expression, Feraan said nothing as he continued through the house.
"Did I have to come back here?" she pouted. ?"I haven't even seen my parents yet."
"You don't have to do anything. ?You're the one that has a political pardon now," he pointed out evenly.
Caelfel grew quiet as she thought that over. ?For days, her forced confinement within Feraan's house had made her bored and listless. ?She had yearned for her freedom. ?Now she had the opportunity to leave, and she found she would rather not.
"Why did you come to the Spring Festival?" she asked somberly. ?Her head buzzed as she felt increasingly sleepy.
"I went looking for you," he snapped, as if it should be obvious. ?He scratched his arm absently, and Caelfel looked at him more closely. ?He was restless from anxiety. ?The attack might not have shaken him, but it clearly weighed heavily on his mind.
"Are you all right?" Caelfel asked tentatively.
Feraan nodded, rubbing at his nose, and left the room. ?She shadowed him through the narrow library. ?His agitation only grew worse in the limited space. ?"The she-elf who crowned you tonight. ?Was this the same one that proved your innocence?"
Caelfel nodded. ?Just now remembering her crown, she picked the snowdrops from her hair.
Feraan said nothing for a while, seemingly satisfied with her silent nod. ?He moved further down the library, scanning the dirty titles. ?He chose one and pulled it from the shelf to peruse its contents.
When she peeked over his shoulder, she saw it was a book on the elvish royalty before he moved to hide it from her. ?Caelfel sighed, tiring of his secretive antics before retiring to the bedroom. ?She was too exhausted to change out of her dress, so she stretched on the bed fully clothed.
She recalled what Garvanna said about her parents. ?She regretted not seeing them at the festival but decided it might have been for the best if assassins were attacking her and Feraan so close to the festivities. ?She hoped they were there to see the Beauty of Spring crowning, so they would know she was safe.
Despite fretting over her parents, Caelfel's last thoughts before drifting off to sleep were of Feraan's rough, desperate kiss. ?She replayed it countless times in her mind, touching her lips as she remembered the way he tasted. ?There was nothing he could say to convince her that that one meant nothing.
So she drifted into unconsciousness with a small smile on her lips.
She could not have been asleep for more than a few hours when she was jolted awake again. ?Her heart hammered in her chest, unsure what had woken her up.
Then the loud bang came again, and Caelfel jumped out of bed, thinking that perhaps the militia was attacking the house. ?They had come to kill her off like Sir Kennyratear-
Bang.
But as Caelfel scrambled out of the bedroom, she realized that the noise came from somewhere inside. ?She turned a corner to investigate a hall when the sound of Feraan's scream pierced the thick air of the dark house. ?Caelfel raced to the narrow library where she found him on the floor, back arched as though he struggled with some immense pain. ?A quick scan of the room told her that he had fallen asleep in the midst of his research.
He was still asleep, and the banging came from him pounding the floors with his own fists. ?Caelfel hovered over him uselessly, uncertain how to help him. ?"Feraan?" she said loudly, trying to be heard over his screaming.
The screaming stopped, but he clenched his teeth together as he struggled to moan some syllables. ?His eyes remained closed, and Caelfel guessed he was still asleep, facing some horrible night terror. ?She firmly pushed down on his shoulders to restrain him.
"Wake up!" she pleaded sharply.
"I destroyed the monsters!" he responded clearly in his sleep.
"What monsters?" ?Caelfel began shaking him. ?"Wake up."
"The monsters of Amasel are no more."
"Amasel? ?What does-" she started to ask.
Then there was a unified gasp from both. ?Feraan broke the surface into awareness, and he panted, looking around frenziedly. ?Meanwhile Caelfel covered her mouth with her hand as she finally understood. ?She stared at Feraan with wide eyes, leaning away from him. ?Feraan quickly regained his composure and retained his confusion as he met her gaze.
"What is it?" he snapped, impatient. ?The cadence of his voice suggested terror.
But Caelfel looked Feraan over in a new, darker light. ?"You destroyed Amasel."
When the color drained from his face and he didn't deny it, Caelfel knew she was right.
The destruction of Amasel occurred eighty years ago, only a few years before she was born. ?Garvanna's and Thoroth's family had lived in Amasel. ?It all made sense now, why everyone hated him. ?But with this revelation came the realization that Feraan had kept this from her. ?Everyone kept this from her. ?It burned deep in her chest and stung her eyes. ?She lifted herself from the floor and turned her back to Feraan.
"Caelfel, wait!" Feraan called behind her.
But she ran from the narrow library, gathering her bow and the few personal items she had, mostly a bundle of ruined clothes. ?She rushed for the front door, but Feraan was waiting and he cut her off, placing a firm hand on her wrist.
"Will you let me explain?" he asked desperately.
The exact details on Amasel's sacking remained a mystery to everyone, but its results were evident. ?The brutal carnage littered the street. ?Burnt bodies scattered everywhere with no discrimination between elf, she-elf, youngling or greyling. ?Death was not common among the elves and it was so debilitating that Caelfel had seen some rip their hair from its roots and moan for days. ?Some elves would sing, and their songs would be so heartbreaking the petals of the Honey Dew would supposedly shrivel and die. ?The Years of Mourning for Amasel had lasted through the celebration of Caelfel's first decade. ?But when everyone thought of the fate of Amasel, they also thought of Feraan's face.
How could I have not known?
And this elf that stood before her, begging her not to leave, was responsible for all of those deaths. ?This elf she had been prepared to give everything to had a darker side, a heavy shame that he carried everywhere with him. ?Sir Kennyratear had mentioned Feraan was not responsible, but Feraan made no attempt to deny the claim. ?He only wanted to explain hi
mself, to justify the mass murder of elves.
Her eyes stung again as she asked, "What if I had been there?"
The question stunned him. ?"You weren't," he said lamely, as if that dismissed the subject.
Caelfel angrily pried his fingers from her wrist, and when Feraan did not resist, she ran from his house.
The sky was bleak and gray from dawn. ?The fiery sun peered over the horizon, casting bright shafts of light through the trees. ?But Caelfel did not pause to enjoy the scenery. ?She flew over the boulders and the gnarled roots of ancient trees and foliage. ?The babbling river next to her did nothing to quiet her nerves. ?She ran the entire way home, bursting through the door with tears in her eyes. ?As if expecting her appearance, both Eviat and Sylaera sat in the front room with heads bent toward each other.
Caelfel eyed their clasped hands with resentment before demanding, "Why didn't you tell me?"
It had been over a week since she had seen her parents. ?She had missed them, and they had probably worried over her absence. ?But Caelfel wouldn't allow them a peaceful moment to ensure that their only daughter was safe, for Caelfel felt betrayed. ?They exchanged glances in ignorance.
But Caelfel wouldn't even allow them a moment for confusion. ?"You've told me about Amasel before," she clarified, furiously wiping her face. ?"You taught me about the one of the single most reproachful incidents of our history. ?The death of an entire city." ?She took a breath to steel herself. ?"Yet you did not tell me who was responsible. ?You did not tell me he was responsible," Caelfel all but screamed at her parents in her tearful rage.
Their impassive faces only irritated her. ?She wanted to scream some more, but her anger seemed to drain the fight out of her. ?She sagged against the wall, still staring them down with hurt eyes.
"I am the only elf in the empire to be kept in ignorance about this. ?You made me stupid and foolish and-" ?She broke off, unable to form the words to adequately express the dull pain eating at her core. ?Her hands flew around. ?"I trusted him. ?I trusted you. ?No wonder the Council wants me dead. ?I've been in the company of a mass murderer, and the both of you never so much as bothered to tell me that."
They finally reacted, Sylaera squeezing the bridge of her nose. ?Eviat sighed, rising to cross the room for his precious daughter. ?He placed his hands on her shoulders, and while that was usually comforting, Caelfel irritably shrugged them off. ?Eviat would have to work with what he had.
"How much did Feraan tell you?" he asked carefully.
Caelfel glared at her father. ?"He didn't deny it."
Sylaera left the room, and Caelfel didn't miss her departure. ?She seethed at her mother's absence and would not even be consoled when Sylaera brought in tea for all them. ?Caelfel refused hers, so Sylaera set the cup nearby, returning to her seat.
"You must let us explain," Sylaera said.
Caelfel continued glaring. ?She had not allowed Feraan that opportunity but she would relent now, for they were her parents. ?Even so, her parents had lied to her for seventy-six years.
Eviat sighed heavily again. ?"We kept the secret from you, simply because Feraan saved my life."
This had not been the direction Caelfel expected. ?It shocked some of her resolve, but she refused to show it, folding her arms tightly around herself. ?"One life excuses the death of hundreds?" she asked sharply.
"Feraan didn't kill those people, Caelfel. ?He saved them."
She rolled her eyes but didn't interrupt this time.
"Before you were born, I visited Amasel for some alchemy ingredients." ?Eviat's eyes darkened at the memory. ?"Amasel had already been lost for some time."
"I don't understand," Caelfel insisted petulantly.
"The elves of Amasel were possessed-all of them-by some sort of evil spirits I had never seen before. ?They inhabit the bodies of elves, feeding off auras until there is no aura left. ?Then they turn hostile and use the bodies to attack other elves so they can grow."
"They take elf bodies and pretend to be elves?" she asked.
He nodded. ?"They feed off our auras and eventually our life force until there is nothing left except a walking corpse." ?Eviat struggled to swallow. ?"It is the ultimate form of blasphemy for elves-murdering masses of elves for necromancy."
"What are these things? ?Why has no one noticed them before?"
"I don't know where they came from, but by the time I had arrived at Amasel, they had already exhausted their food source. ?They came at me like magnificent, black orbs. ?They chased after me, and I lost my aura permanently to them that day."
"They took your aura?" Caelfel said, her wrath dissolving.
Eviat turned grim. ?"I don't remember much after that. ?I couldn't have gone far before passing out. ?Then I woke up to Feraan healing me. ?He had saved my life, and I told him everything about the menacing orbs that plagued Amasel.
"Feraan reasoned that the parasites only feed off of elves because our race possesses auras so he led an army of humans-who have no auras-and sacked the city. ?He was right. ?The parasites in their elemental state couldn't harm the humans so they assumed the bodies of the elves and tried to fight back. ?Feraan's army won, and they burned all the elf bodies. ?They were already dead, Caelfel," he added when horror flashed through her face.
"And Feraan, he fought in this battle, even though he is an elf too?" she asked skeptically.
"He is either the bravest or the most foolish elf I ever met."
"So why does everyone hate him?"
"No one else knows about the parasites. ?Feraan attempted to go to the Council about Amasel, but no one believed him. ?When they went to investigate for themselves, all they saw was a smoldering city with only the word of the strangest elf who admitted to destroying it. ?They had no proof against him, no way to explain how the human army breached our borders, but they saw an opportunity to frame him for the incident. ?And so Feraan's name lives on in infamy."
Caelfel slid to the floor, sighing. ?"And why didn't you just tell me that about Feraan and Amasel? ?It would have been better than telling me nothing."
"It was Feraan's wish," Sylaera interjected. ?"Without him, your father would not have been alive. ?Without your father, you would not have been born. ?Feraan is, in his own right, responsible for your life."
"While that may be a romantic notion," Caelfel said, hoping her face did not look as warm as it felt. ?"It does not explain why he did not want me to know."
Sylaera rose from her seat and joined her husband in front of Caelfel. ?"We know of Feraan's true nature. ?He performed an unsolicited act of kindness. ?He saved your father's life and probably the lives of countless elves by stopping those parasitic orbs. ?If they had gone in hunt of new prey after desecrating Amasel, Sal'Sumarathar would have experienced the same fate."
"Why did he not want me to know?" Caelfel insisted impatiently. ?"I'm not questioning his goodness, only his secrecy."
Sylaera smiled softly. ?"Do you not remember the reactions of Garvanna, Thoroth, the Council, when they all learned you had helped him? ?He used to have a house here in the city, but many elves burned it to the ground when they learned of Amasel. ?He fled the city. ?He did not want to tell you the truth because he did not think you would believe it."
"I believe it now," Caelfel told her. ?"I would have believed it if you told me, instead of hiding it from me."
"That is a quarrel you should reserve for him and not us, my daughter."
But Caelfel was not ready to face to Feraan yet. ?She thought of Sir Kennyratear's words to her. ?It was an awful day that I am sure he would rather forget. ?I would rather not spoil your opinion of him. ?And she felt shame for running from Feraan as she had. ?I believe you are a blessing to him. ?He had kept a secret of this magnitude from her because he was afraid. ?That touched her in an odd way. ?She felt a need to apologize but also an urge to demand his explanation. ?She was sure he would give her one.
But for now, Caelfel spent the morning with her parents. ?She told them of Sir Kennyratear's death wit
h fresh tears, her face hidden in her hands. ?She had never really permitted herself a moment to mourn his death before, and it felt appropriate with her parents, since her father had been close friends with Nadeth. ?Then she ate with them, Sylaera passing around slices of bread smeared with blackberry jam. ?Caelfel enjoyed the company of her parents. ?Eviat commented how they had witnessed the Beauty of Spring celebration, that they were proud of her and happy for her. ?Sylaera was by no means modest when she spoke of the work she had put into the dress that Caelfel realized she still wore.
But before the morning was over, Caelfel voiced her need to leave the house. ?Her parents, shared a glance, obliged, and gave their daughter a last parting hug before Caelfel headed out.
"Do not leave us for too long," Sylaera called before Caelfel was out of earshot.
Caelfel cast her parents a furtive glance, not wanting to think about how much stress she had put them under during her absence. ?Now as they both waved her goodbye, Caelfel saw how happy they looked and she had no wish to spoil their happiness.
However she had an unfinished matter. ?She had pulled a shawl over her dress, belting it at the waist, to ward off the morning chill from her exposed shoulders and braced herself to meet Feraan again.
She was nervous now, in light of their most recent encounter. ?She had hurt him and she was just now realizing the significance of Sir Kennyratear's preemptive warning. ?But before she could allow the guilt to mercilessly clench her stomach, she pushed the sense of blame from her. ?Caelfel had not lied; everyone else had lied to her. ?She had nothing to be ashamed of.
All the same, she took a quick, deep breath to steel herself and prepared to meet Ferran again. She hesitated before his door, fist held in midair as she prepared to knock. ?When she did, the dull pounding sounded muted to her ears. ?She raised her hand to try again.
Then the door open, and Feraan stood before her in a disheveled and incorrigible state. ?When he saw it was her, for no one else knew the location of his home, he released a steady breath, running his fingers through his unkempt hair. ?She wondered at this. ?Caelfel had only left for a few hours. ?Feraan opened his mouth to begin what she supposed was a rehearsed explanation or excuse for his actions, but she raised a finger to silence him.
"Before you say anything," she began, steering the conversation with a newfound authority. ?"I want you to tell me exactly what happened eighty years ago."
Feraan paused at this. ?Apparently it was not the reaction he had been expecting. ?"You want me to tell you what happened?" he repeated, considering her question a moment. ?"Can I show you instead?"
Something in Caelfel's stomach twitched, stirring a mixture of dread and anticipation. ?She nodded. ?Feraan took her hand, leading her to the horse meadow. ?Caelfel found herself delighting at the feel of her hand in his, but the sensation was short-lived, for she quickly found herself in front of Feraan's steed. ?Firnis, the black stallion with the unnerving red eyes.
"Why does he have red eyes?" Caelfel asked.
"Because Firnis is not like any other horse," was all Feraan would say.
Caelfel frowned. ?"I don't want any more secrets to be kept from me."
"I can understand that, but this is not my secret to share." ?Feraan mounted his horse, holding his hand out for Caelfel.
She wasn't sure if she believed him but accepted his hand anyway.
They set off through the forest, Caelfel sitting behind Feraan. ?She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back. ?They traveled swiftly, but the rocking motion of Firnis's gait and the repetitive cadence of his hoofbeats lulled Caelfel into a trance and she vaguely recalled that she'd gotten very little sleep the previous night. ?She closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, the stiffness in her joints told her a few hours had passed. ?The sinking sun confirmed this.
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