by Lauren Asher
“You don’t need to thank me. It’s part of my contract.” I brush my shaky hands down my dress.
“Contract or not, the guys are lucky to have you working for them. You truly are one of a kind. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that Jax has a crush on you. Makes him much more compliant.”
Well, that settles it. Too bad everyone knows Jax Kingston has a crush on me except for the man himself.
I’m convinced I’m currently living in an alternate dimension. That would be the only explanation for everything happening now, including my crazy conversation with Connor earlier.
With Jax busy with a late-night McCoy debriefing, I expected to come back to an empty hotel room.
And I did.
But I also didn’t.
I walk in to find a pitch-black room, with a lit nightlight by the front door. It’s a plastic F1-themed blue race car looking exactly like something a parent would buy at the gift shop.
“No way.” I leave the nightlight on, allowing the small light to guide me. Another nightlight is lit in a dark corner of the living room near my bedroom door.
I open my room to find another race car next to my bed. “Oh my God.” Multiple nightlights offer me guidance toward my bathroom, where I find the final lit nightlight.
Unexpected tears flood my eyes. Why would Jax do something like this? And why does he have to slowly destroy the wall I have protecting myself from him?
I head back to my bed. Somehow, I missed the note next to my pillow. Jax’s familiar scrawl marks the page.
Because someone has to help you fix your terrible sleep cycle. No more bullshit about sleeping with all the lights on. All self-respecting adults use cool F1 nightlights nowadays.
P.S. If some paparazzi posts a photo of me buying this crap and says I’m afraid of the dark, I might lose my shit.
P.P.S. It was totally worth the risk to my manhood.
I clutch onto Jax’s note as I lie down on my bed. Everything feels like it’s shifting between us, with him changing in the smallest ways.
I thought I’d be the one to figure him out. It looks like during my mission, I lost sight of his power over me.
I gave someone who destroys everything in his life something I can’t take back.
The possibility of earning my love.
23
Jax
Having Elena fix up my reputation despite the urge to push her away? Risky.
Having Elena come into my home, meet my parents, and join us like the British Brady Bunch for the summer break? Downright stupid.
To be fair, I didn’t have a choice. Connor made it clear Elena needed to join me wherever I vacationed, but I didn’t think through the cons of having her spend the month-long break with my family.
One look at Mum embracing Elena in a hug the moment they meet is enough to sound the alarm.
“Elena, it’s great to have you here. I’m thrilled to meet the woman who puts my son in his place.”
“Oh. Hello.” Elena’s arms remain at her sides as Mum uses what little strength she has to tighten the embrace.
Elena’s reaction has me laughing to myself. Her glare fails to achieve the desired effect. Instead, my smile expands.
“We’ve heard you’re the one to thank for the detox of Jax’s liver.” Dad pulls Mum back, letting her lean on him instead of using a cane.
“Are you all going to keep talking about me like I’m not standing here in the same room? Way to make me feel welcome.” I cross my arms.
Two members of the staff grab Elena’s and my belongings off the floor and carry them upstairs.
“Oh my, how big you’ve gotten! Come closer so I can get a good look at you.” Mum jokingly gasps.
I walk up to her and place a kiss on her cheek. “McCoy feeds me well.”
“Looks like the new gym routine we made is working out.” Dad pinches my arm muscles.
Jackie comes into the room, greeting Elena and me before announcing that dinner is ready.
“You’re in for the best meal of your life.” I wink at Elena.
“Can’t wait.” Her wide eyes look around, lingering on the crystal chandeliers and expensive furnishings.
We all walk into my parents’ formal dining room. It’s fit for a TV set, with a large table that can seat twenty people at a minimum. Large windows show off our lush backyard with a pool and garden.
“Whoa. I feel grossly underdressed and underprepared,” Elena whispers to me before she stares down at her clothes. Her cheeks redden as her runners squeak against the floor.
“I happen to like what you’re wearing.” I tug on the sleeve of her Rolling Stones jumper.
Dad helps Mum into her chair at the table. “I hope this isn’t too fancy. By the time I realized it, Jackie had already set up dinner here. We usually eat in the kitchen.”
Elena and I take up a seat next to each other, sitting across from my parents.
Dad pours himself a glass of wine after offering some to Elena and me. “It’s good to have you back home, even if it’s for a little bit.”
“I’m happy to be back. I hate living out of a suitcase.”
He gives his glass a swirl. “Anything special you have planned during your time here?”
“Not exactly. Nothing besides the extra stuff planned with McCoy before my home race. You know how wild the British GP is here.”
“Well there are a few things I have planned for him. The first one is this weekend,” Elena speaks up.
I tilt my head at her. “And what’s that?”
“The Make-A-Wish Foundation contacted me to set up a day or two where a fan follows you around and spends time with you.”
My parents look at Elena with endearment. Shit. I’m tempted to cover Elena’s mouth with duct tape to prevent my parents from falling in love with her.
...And now I’m thinking of tape wrapped around Elena’s wrists while I fuck her. Way to go, Jax. I shift in my chair, attempting to rein my thoughts in despite the blood rushing to my cock.
Dad smiles at me. “A kid’s wish is to hang out with Jax? Wow. You should be honored, son.”
Right. Please think of the more important topic at hand.
“I was surprised when they contacted me.” Elena blushes as she looks at me. “Not because you’re not good at what you do. I was nervous to plan something that is clearly important to this kid.”
“Why’s that?” Mum tilts her head.
“The first time I called him and told him who I was, he screamed into the phone. I could barely make out anything he said, but I did understand him screaming about how meeting Jax will be the best day of his life. I don’t want to plan anything boring for him or not meet his expectations.”
“The kid is lucky to have you planning everything. Trust me on that.” I squeeze her hand, shooting her a soft smile.
Dad eyes our hands while Mum clamps her lips together to hide her smile.
“We’ll have to invite him over for dinner or something. Give him the whole Kingston experience!” Mum claps her hands together. “This is delightful. We haven’t had a kid around here since…well...Jax was a kid!”
Elena grins. “To be fair, he’s a teenager.”
Mum can’t contain her excitement. “Oh, I love some good teenage angst. Keeps me on my toes. You must tell us what you have planned for him.”
Elena and Mum hit it off, sharing details about Caleb, who is rumored to be my greatest fan. I spend the dinner listening intently without offering much. For the first time around Elena, I want to filter the words coming out of my mouth.
It’s hard seeing as now instead of being a total douche, I’d rather do other types of things. The naughty kind. The reckless kind. The kind that ends with nothing but orgasms and failed promises.
24
Elena
When Connor made me agree to spend the summer break with Jax’s family in London, I thought it was a perfect setup. It was supposed to give me the opportunity to keep an eye on him while planning a few more activi
ties to restore the public’s faith in him.
In all the craziness of planning fun outings for Caleb, I completely neglected the idea of spending that much time with Jax and his family. I expected it to be similar to us sharing a hotel.
I was wrong. So wrong in many ways.
The real wild card is Jax’s mom. I don’t know how Jax came out the way he did, all rough edges, because his mom is an absolute gem. Vera’s sweet and caring—exactly what I wish I had in my life lately.
“So, I was thinking about going shopping downtown. Do you want to join me?” Vera sips her morning tea. Jax lucked out with inheriting some of his mom’s good looks. She has pale blonde hair that matches her light skin, and gray eyes with a permanent gleam to them.
“I don’t know about that. I’m supposed to meet with Jax and discuss some plans for the break.”
“I think Jax can take care of himself for a day. Zack wants to spend time with him while we have a little fun anyway. Come on, take a day off.” She bats her dirty blonde lashes at me.
“Let me check in with him first.”
“If you must.” She waves me off with a smile.
I make my way up toward Jax’s wing of the house. I wasn’t aware of how well-off his family was until they disclosed how they have enough rooms in their house to name areas after compass directions. Wealth isn’t something I’ve grown up with and being surrounded by it reminds me of how I don’t belong. I’m pretty sure the sheets in my guest room are more expensive than my monthly loan payment.
I knock on Jax’s door. He opens a few seconds later in nothing but a towel around his waist. Water trickles down his face from his wet hair, landing on his chest before dripping down his abs.
I count the ridges of muscle before meeting his eyes.
He leans his head against the door frame. “Morning. Did you knock on my door to stare at me or did you have something else in mind?”
“Uhm.” My eyes flit from his face to his abs. “Your mom asked me to go out with her. I told her I couldn’t agree until I checked in with you. I know we planned on discussing your schedule and going over Caleb’s visit, but she seems pretty set on spending time together.”
His lips press into a thin line. “You can have a day off for fuck’s sake. I’m not going to rat you out to Connor.”
“Well, I didn’t exactly say that…” I rock back on my heels.
“No, but I know you.” His eyes rake over me, taking in my yellow summer dress. “Anything that makes Mum happy is always a good idea.”
Sigh. If only he treated other women in his life with the same respect. “Okay, sounds good. See you later.” I make a move to turn away. Jax’s hand grips mine softly, stopping me. My body instantly reacts to his touch like static sparking.
“Do you mind coming in for a second? I wanted to ask you a question about Caleb’s visit. The kid has been texting me ever since you gave him my number.” Jax opens the door wider for me to enter.
“Sure.” I take a few hesitant steps into his room.
“Let me get dressed.”
I check him out again. By all means, please don’t.
His beaming smile threatens to knock me out. He disappears into his bathroom, ending my perusal of his defined body. The very one covered in tattoos I want to explore in greater detail.
I take the opportunity to check out his childhood bedroom. Band posters cover one of the walls, showing off tour dates for Coldplay, Fleetwood Mac, and Stormzy. He has an old-school turntable with a box of vinyl records on his dresser. I flip through a few of them before pulling out Ed Sheeran’s Multiply album.
Jax comes out of his bathroom in jeans and a T-shirt. I hold back my sigh at the loss of his abs.
“Having you in here is like handing over my diary.” He comes up behind me. His body heats my back, making my skin pebble. His finger toys with the strap of my sundress.
“Didn’t you want to show me something?”
“Right.” His voice comes out rough.
I move to put the vinyl back, but Jax’s hand stops me. He plucks the record from my grasp and pulls it out.
“Big Ed Sheeran fan?” His breath heats my neck.
I attempt to suppress a shiver and fail. “The biggest.” I turn around. My chest brushes against his, eliciting the slightest inhale of breath from him.
“Maybe I’ll introduce you two.” Jax looks over my shoulder as he fiddles with the player. Ed Sheeran’s “I’m a Mess” begins playing.
“No way,” I squeal.
“I shouldn’t be jealous of the ginger fucker, but now I am.” His smile should send me running. It’s unusual for him, untroubled and tempting.
I want more of his smiles and more of this side of him, carefree and happy.
He makes a move to pull me in, but I sidestep him, hitting him with a mischievous smile of my own.
“You can’t take back that type of offer because of jealousy.”
“No take backs?” He lets out a low chuckle.
“No take backs,” I repeat as I walk toward the other side of his room where he has trophies and photographs lining the shelves. A picture stands out to me and I grab it. A teenage Jax smiles at the camera, ignoring the tattoo artist behind him while Vera sits next to him and pouts.
“Mum is pretending there. She’s the one who signed the release for me to get my first tattoo before eighteen.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah. She even picked out my first tattoo.” Jax tugs the frame from my hands, his fingers brushing against mine. The touch sends a current of energy up my arm.
“No way.”
“Yup. At the time, I thought it was embarrassing, but I love it because it reminds me of her.”
My heart threatens to melt into a puddle at Jax’s feet. “Which one?” I grab onto the same arm from the photograph, searching the countless tattoos he has.
“Bet you can’t guess which one,” he teases.
“You’re on.” I meticulously search the tattoos on his arm. By the end of my investigation, I’m stuck between two options. I go with my gut, stopping my finger on the one I think his mom picked. “This one. Definitely.”
His body shudders as my finger trails across the ink, pulling a smile from me. This tattoo doesn’t fit the grim themes of his other ones. A beautiful flower stands out compared to his other hauntingly beautiful designs, ranging from a grim reaper to a tombstone. Safe to say he’s got creepy covered.
“Too bad you didn’t specify what happens if you chose right.”
“What?” I screech. “I guessed right?” I break out into a victory dance, twirling in a circle, making my dress swirl around me.
Jax grins. “Yeah.” He runs his index finger across a tattoo of a paper rose made out of music sheets. “How’d you know?”
“Honestly, your other tattoos are a bit...”
“Depressing?”
“I wouldn’t say that… You do have a butterfly one after all.”
He laughs to himself. “I choose my tattoos based on my mood.”
“Typical Gemini.”
He knocks his head back and lets out a roar of laughter. When Jax looks as untroubled as he does now, it throws me for a loop. The smiling teen in the photograph is a far cry from the man I’ve gotten to know over the past few months.
“When did you find out about your mom’s diagnosis?” I blurt out.
His eyes dart toward the photo in his hands. “Twenty-one. They knew before, but they held off on telling me until they felt I could handle the news.”
My hand grips his bicep. I rub my thumb in circles, wanting to soothe him. “I’m sorry. I can imagine it’s hard for you, with her being one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.”
“She’s the best. Hands down my favorite person out there.”
I can’t stop my eyes from watering.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” He lifts a brow.
“Because beneath all the tattoos and grumpiness, you’re not a bad guy.”
“Hear me out. You may have made bad decisions. Actually, wait—terrible decisions. But that doesn’t make you a bad person. You can choose to be better. No one’s stopping you.”
“No one but me.”
“Exactly. Which is kind of dumb if you really think about it.”
“You don’t say. Tell me why.” The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirk.
“Yes. You’re a grown man so you’re the only one who can decide to be better. If I were you, I would find it exhausting to keep up such a rough exterior all the time.”
“As opposed to your version of shitting rainbows?”
“At least there’s a pot of gold at the end of it.” I grin at him.
“Don’t start wishing for things that can’t happen.”
He lets out a breath as I run a hand down his chest, letting my finger drag across his muscles.
My sanity has temporarily left the ten-thousand-square-foot mansion. “It’s already happening. You’re changing.”
“Don’t make me prove you wrong.”
I laugh. “If you have to make an effort to be worse, then you’re proving my point.”
“I tried to warn you.”
“Well, you buying me nightlights doesn’t scream wanting to avoid me anymore, now does it?”
His eyes flash with something unreadable. “I didn’t want to wake up to your screaming again.”
“Right.” I roll my eyes. Before I have a chance to consider the consequences, I stand on the tips of my toes, leaving behind the faintest kiss on his lips. “Choose to be better.”
I step back, but Jax tugs me into him. His fingers run through my hair and hold my head in place as he kisses me.
Screw that. Kissing is too simple to describe what he does. Jax devours me, licking and nipping at my lips before his tongue owns me. The trophies rattle above our heads as he pushes me against the wall.
He presses his body into mine. The contact has my head spinning from lust. His tongue fights mine as his hand moves from my head to my thigh, lifting my dress up. I’m committed to making one of the most reckless decisions of my life, but I can’t stop it.
