“Don’t you dare.”
“What?” I said innocently.
“I know you’re thinking of peeking. You don’t follow orders very well.”
“Oh? Then maybe you shouldn’t order me about.” Made sense to me.
One second he was in front of me, the next behind, his breath stirring my hair the only warning. Before my eyes could fly open in surprise, he placed a hand over them. “Or I could just do this,” he whispered into my ear. His arm wrapped around my waist and he nudged me forward.
All I could do was press my lips together to keep from smiling. I was doing a lot of that this morning. My cheeks were starting to hurt. As we progressed, the ground leveled almost too perfectly, making me even more curious. We slowed, and my next step was blocked by a hard object. I reached out and felt rough stone beneath my chilled fingertips.
“I wanted to show you this because I need you to remember what you’ve been fighting for,” Brendan said quietly. A small tremor shook the hand covering my eyes. I heard him swallow, heard his unsteady breaths. “And—and you should know that I took it all away.”
Then his hand was gone and I was blinking away brilliant sunlight. And . . . and . . .
Tears pricked my eyes.
I was standing on top of the world.
“How? Where?” I couldn’t formulate a full thought, not when the expanse of sky above was endless blue and the floor below was a vast sea of snowy mountains and trees. Words couldn’t describe this level of beauty. A tear slipped down my cheek and emotion clogged my throat, which surprised me. I didn’t know why my reaction was so intense.
“This is the tallest point of the highest peak on the eastern half of North America,” Brendan said, coming to stand beside me. “When I first saw you in Tatum City, you were staring up at this mountaintop. I think the old you wanted to climb this mountain someday.”
I cleared my throat and wiped away a tear. “I think so, too.” My eyes devoured the view for another minute, then glanced up at a pensive Brendan. “How did you take all of this away from me? I don’t understand.”
A puff of air curled from his mouth as he released a long sigh. He grabbed hold of the stone wall in front of us and bowed his head, as if what he was about to say was a heavy weight pressing down on him. “I’m not the good guy, Lune. I—I steal people’s freedom. I’ve stolen lives. At first it was hard. Seeing their faces when they realized I’d betrayed them. Then it got easier. I can—I can manipulate and lie. Make people trust me. Make you trust me.” His grip on the stone tightened, whitening his knuckles.
With each word, my heartbeat grew louder, until my head pounded, until I couldn’t think past the roaring in my ears. But he wasn’t finished. “My parents’ deaths were my fault. I led the Recruiter Clan straight to our doorstep with my recklessness and—” He stared at his trembling hands. “The price was to watch them drown. First my mom. Then my dad.”
“Brendan,” I whispered, reaching to comfort him even as horror filled me.
He shook his head, freezing me in place with his stare. “That’s not all. I’ve killed, Lune. When a mission went wrong, to escape the Recruiter Clan—I’ve ended lives to spare my own. You’re not safe with me and you’ll never know freedom when I’m near. You should run far away. The old you knew that—I just convinced her otherwise. But I can’t be selfish with you anymore.”
He stepped close to me, looking for all the world like the deadly predator he was making himself out to be. A part of me wanted to run, I couldn’t deny that. My first instinct was always to flee. To fear. But I knew him. Knew him. The man standing before me wasn’t a cold-blooded killer.
So I erased the space between us. Placed my hand on his cheek. Watched a single tear track down his face. “That’s not you. I know you were forced to do things to survive. I know about Bells. You made the choice to protect her, to fight for a better future. Don’t give up now, Brendan. Don’t throw your life away, don’t throw us away.”
His jaw hardened under my touch. “There shouldn’t be an us, that’s what you’ve forgotten. When I left Tatum City, you weren’t even speaking to me. I had stolen your chance at freedom yet again and you couldn’t stand it.”
I frowned. “Again?”
“Yes,” he hissed. “Again. I kidnapped you. Stole you from your mom. Don’t you remember?”
I jerked back, dropping my hand.
He barked a self-deprecating laugh. “Now you’re getting it.”
Pain tightened my chest at the revelation, at the tone of his voice—like he was trying to slam down a permanent wall between us. My quivering lips only allowed one word to escape. “Why?”
As if my agony was too much to bear, his gaze fell. “You said it yourself. I did bad things to survive, using Bells as an excuse to do them. I made my choices and now have to live with them.”
“No,” I said forcefully, grabbing his chin and making him look at me. “That’s not what I’m asking. Why tell me this now? Why push me away when we’re finally becoming happy?”
“Because it’s not real, Lune,” he replied with equal intensity. “You begged me to be real and I swore that I was, but I lied, okay?” His fingers circled my wrist and pulled his face from my grip. “Listen carefully because I’m only saying this once. I’m a spy. There’s nothing real about a spy. Spies lie. I am a lie.”
I stared up at him blankly. “What?”
“You heard me. It’s impossible for us to be together, no matter what we want. I never should have selfishly pursued you—it’s not fair. There’s no future for us where I’m going. My job is to find humans with a high potency of mutated DNA and rescue them before the Recruiter Clan discovers their existence. But thanks to people like me, most of them are already locked up, so I infiltrate and report the weaknesses of that establishment.
“Tatum City? It’s not a city at all but a military compound. The Elite Trials? A smoke screen. A ruse to lull the citizens into thinking they’re special for entering them. Everything you’ve been taught is a lie. Everything you’ve been fighting for is a lie.”
“Stop!” I yelled, yanking my arm free. My heart was hammering so wildly, I couldn’t breathe. Too much. Too much. I couldn’t put together all the pieces. Only one word rang true. Lies, lies, lies. My voice shook as I said, “Message Yukiko.”
“Why?”
“Just do it! I need a ride back.” With that, I stormed off the stone platform and followed the set of tracks we’d made to climb up here. I didn’t take a last look at the mountains. Didn’t fill my lungs one last time with the cleanest air I’d ever breathed. Not when my vision blurred with tears. Not when my throat squeezed shut. What would the point be anyway? It was all a dream.
A beautiful, impossible dream.
“Whoa. I legit got chills just now watching you shoot ice daggers at Bren’s back. Trouble in paradise?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said stiffly to an over-observant Jaxon. Was I that obvious? I set my dinner tray on the conveyor belt with a little too much force. Another thing I wasn’t good at: hiding my feelings.
He held up his hands in mock surrender but peered over my shoulder at Bells. “What do you think, Empath? Intervention time?”
“Definitely,” she agreed, then shrugged with a little smile when I frowned at her. “You joining us, Yukiko?”
The girl who had begrudgingly come to my rescue earlier today snorted loudly as she pushed past me. “Does it involve junk food?”
“Only the best for you, babe,” Jaxon purred in her ear. When she smirked at him, a pang of sadness hit my chest. I looked away.
The four of us ended up in Jaxon’s room, which was overflowing with . . . stuff. “He’s a pack-rat,” Bells said, plopping onto his couch and patting the spot next to her.
“That hurts my feelings,” Jaxon called from near the bathroom where a hazardous stack of what looked like thin books was climbing the wall.
“That’s funny,” Bells said with a tilt of her head. “I’m
only picking up giddy anticipation vibes from you.”
“I’m not giddy. I’m completely calm in my excitement. Your ability is getting rusty, Isabella.”
“Dolls?” I mouthed at her, discreetly pointing to a shelf lined with dozens and dozens of upright figures, some tucked inside clear cases.
Jaxon practically shrieked as his keen eyes narrowed on me. “They’re action figures, not dolls! I want one of Bren, but he said he’d tear off the head and burn the body.” He held up two of the books. “Dystopian or romantic comedy?”
Bells rolled her eyes. “How about a superhero one where the character has mind powers?”
Then she looked at Yukiko and they said together, “Chick flick.” Jaxon groaned, but he was pushed aside as his girlfriend rummaged through the pile. I heard her mutter something about mean girls and Jaxon groaned again.
“It’s a classic!” Bells said, jostling me as she bounced on the cushion. “We need snacks, Jax.”
“On it. And then maybe I should go sulk with Bren. My eyes can’t handle all that pink.”
I soon discovered that instead of reading a book, we were watching a movie. Judging by my slack-jawed reaction, it must have been my first. Life-like images were projected on the bedroom wall, and as astounding as that was, the people in the movie were even more so.
“Did people our age really dress and act that way before the Silent War?” I asked, grabbing another handful of popcorn before Yukiko could eat it all.
“Pretty much,” Jaxon said from his wedged position against the other side of the couch. “Their biggest concerns in life were zits and bad hair days. And instead of labels like Intellect and Sensor, they called themselves geeks and jocks.”
The more I learned about the past and how different it was from our way of living, the hungrier I became. We ended up watching another chick flick about a girl who discovered she was a princess and got a complete makeover. After that one, Jaxon insisted he get to pick the movie before his brain exploded. He chose an action movie that had me on the edge of my seat—despite Jaxon reciting every line of the movie before it happened. Bells told me that people couldn’t actually fly like that or shoot lasers from their hands, but it looked so real.
All too soon, Yukiko switched the screen off and stood, stretching her back until it popped. “It’s past midnight, we should get some sleep. I’ll walk Lune to her room.”
I glanced at Jaxon whose eyebrows had climbed halfway up his forehead. He shrugged and silently mouthed what looked like, “I’ll pray for you.”
Oh great. Was this the part where I, lulled into a false sense of security, let my guard down only to be stabbed in the back or strangled, then left for dead in a hallway closet? I blinked, shaking away the thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have watched a violent movie right before bed.
My room was on the other side of The Circle, same floor as Jaxon’s along with most of the single residents not living in a family unit. Despite having parents, he and several of the recently graduated young adults had opted for their own space. It wasn’t a long walk, but making the trip with Yukiko? An eternity would be shorter.
Then she actually spoke to me of her own free will. “He’s protecting you from himself. But more than that, he’s protecting himself from you. You’re his weakness, and he’s afraid that he won’t be able to follow through with his missions if he allows himself to get too close. He’ll be thinking of you and your safety instead of others.”
At the candid way she dropped those words into the void, I completely blanked. My mouth was probably rounded like a fish’s. “What—what are you talking about?” Really? I was going to play dumb?
She gave me a sidelong look. Okay, I deserved that. “I’m a lot like him.” My brows started to raise in disbelief, but she added, “We handle our demons differently, but we have similar pasts—and struggle to forgive ourselves. Now, we have an insatiable need to save and protect what is ours.
“There’s only one problem with that,” she went on dispassionately, as though unaware of how thoroughly her words were warping my perception of her. “Who will save us from ourselves? Having a hero complex forces us to distance ourselves from the ones we love, but what kind of existence is worth living alone?”
She stopped several doors down from mine and faced me. It took me a second to realize she was making sure Brendan couldn’t overhear our conversation. Crap, now I was feeling a bit of respect for her. She flicked her spiky bangs out of her eyes, giving me a once over. Determining if I was worthy of her sage wisdom?
Whatever she saw made her finish instead of leaving me to walk the last few yards alone. “You only need one person to fight for you, to remind you that life is about taking chances, especially on the things that matter most. Jaxon, the persistent idiot, forced me to see this. And I think it’s time someone did that for Bren.”
I was pretty sure I’d never been so speechless in my entire life. She didn’t wait for me to reply, simply took off for my room again, even checked inside for unwelcome visitors. When she turned to go, I finally found my voice. “Yukiko.” She paused, but didn’t look my way. “Thank you.”
With a nod, she silently closed my door, and I made sure to lock it. I then spent the next hour sprawled on my bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering when the girl who hated me had become my friend.
I readjusted my night goggles, then flicked them back on. The darkness became several shades of green, but my eyes adapted quickly. Ever since Jaxon had told me of the bi-annual Abilities Competition, I’d practiced nonstop getting used to this headwear. Although I’d only been in the ability program for a month and a half now, I was allowed to enter the contest based on my past training experience.
“Is your gun working?” Yukiko asked, so softly that I barely caught the words through my ear communicator.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Tested it earlier.”
Despite my lack of memories, I had discovered something recently: instincts and muscle memory couldn’t be erased. So I had trained hard, even practiced shooting a gun on a daily basis. My skills were still subpar, but my visions made up for what I lacked. Most of the undergrad competitors were Sensors who naturally enjoyed challenges and the thrill of the hunt, but there were a few Empaths and Intellects.
Bells didn’t want to compete, saying it wasn’t her thing, but Yukiko and Brendan had been selected as the graduate team captains. As luck would have it, I ended up on Yukiko’s team. Fitting that I was pitted against Brendan considering we hadn’t patched things up between us since the mountaintop debacle. Ten days of barely speaking to each other. As painful as the silence was, hurt and pride had me trapped in their vicious snares.
He wanted to keep me at arm’s length? Well, I wasn’t going to beg for his attention. Funny how the old me had pushed him away, but now it was him trying to create distance between us. Maybe we were doomed from the start. Maybe there were too many painful memories for us to overcome.
I checked my handheld for the time. I’d finally been given one thanks to Jaxon pulling some strings. Three minutes until the competition would begin. It was held in an underground level below The Circle. The ceiling soared high above which allowed the massive indoor space to be converted into a replica of the outdoors. Except it wasn’t winter down here. Cold, yes, but a false wind and rain pelted us, making the whole experience quite miserable.
“War games. Gotta be prepared for anything,” Yukiko had explained when the elements had first kicked on twenty minutes ago. I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that. All I knew was that entering this competition might not have been the smartest idea. But if my comrades could stand around in the freezing pitch black without complaint, then so would I.
Besides, I had a point to prove.
This was my chance to show everyone that I wasn’t a danger but an ally. That I took their way of life seriously and could be trusted not to jeopardize it. I wanted to be understood and accepted, and I’d do whatever it took to make them see the real me.
<
br /> But I had something even bigger to prove to myself. And Brendan.
I had confided in Yukiko, who admittedly had rolled her eyes at first, but she was on board now. Ever since that night she’d walked me to my room, we’d called an unspoken truce. Whatever grievances she’d held against me when I’d arrived at Blue Ridge Sector were now a thing of the past. I wasn’t sure what had changed her mind about me, but we were almost friends now. Almost, because she still looked at me like I was a waste of air sometimes.
Not at the moment though. Every member of our team was important and had a purpose. The end goal was to find the enemy’s diabolical plans and cross back into friendly territory before being captured or “killed.” My job was to spy on the opposition using my ability and find out where the plans were hidden. I had argued for a more proactive role, but Yukiko had quickly shot me down. I was too valuable to be running out into the open with guns blazing. Plus, everyone else had better aim than I did.
I wasn’t bitter or anything. Maybe just a little.
Because of my ability—and being who I was to Brendan—Yukiko predicted that he would send his Sensors to sniff me out. So I had traded jackets with a teammate who’d insisted the rain wouldn’t wash away my scent entirely. She was to be my decoy, and also watch my back so I could focus on my visions instead of my immediate surroundings. I didn’t like feeling vulnerable and dependant on someone I barely knew, but Yukiko had muttered something about teamwork and relying on others, so I’d agreed.
As soon as my handheld buzzed, I was to take our team’s plans and find someplace to hide them. If the enemy came near, hopefully my ability would keep me one step ahead so I could whisk the plans off to a new location. There was only one flaw to the plan: the more I used my abilities, the more Brendan would detect the energy. So Yukiko’s mission was to distract him, draw him out into the open with an aggressive frontal attack.
Only twenty seconds to go until the competition started.
“Remember,” Yukiko breathed, bending her knees as she prepared to spring. “Run first, shoot second. Stay toward the back of our territory.”
Adaptive: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The Elite Trials Book 2) Page 20
