by Jillian Dodd
Sunrises symbolize new beginnings.
So I thought it was only fitting that I start my new beginning with one.
My new beginning.
Another chance at life.
The kind of life I've dreamed about.
And it all starts today.
A while later, Mom and Tommy join me.
Mom hands me a mug of steaming coffee and curls up on the love seat with me.
"It's a really pretty morning," she says as she steals part of my blanket.
"It is. Thanks for the coffee."
"You going surfing?" Tommy asks.
"No, B wanted to sleep in."
"Is he doing okay?"
"He is. He went through a lot more than I did. Being kidnapped. Drugged. Thinking he was going to die."
"He told me it's brought clarity to his life," Tommy says.
"He told me that too."
"Tommy," Mom says, "I can't keep it to myself."
"Keep what to yourself?" I ask.
"What we went through as a family brought some clarity to our lives, too," Tommy says. "Your mom and I have made some decisions."
"We're going to make an offer on a house in Hidden Hills," Mom continues. "There's lots of land. The girls can ride horses."
"And, most importantly, it's a very secure community. No one can just walk up to your back door like they can here," Tommy adds. "I've been thinking about it for a few months. And there's a house I've seen online that looks perfect. We want somewhere safe, where we can all be together."
"I missed all of you. It's so good to be home."
"Back on your beach?" Mom says with a smile.
"Do you remember when you told me one Thanksgiving that it doesn't matter where in the world you are, it only matters who is sitting next to you?"
Mom shakes her head. "I don't remember saying that. But I like it."
Tommy laughs at Mom and says, "Everything you say is so brilliant, you can't even remember it all," causing Mom to laugh too.
"So, tell me more about the house."
"The big draw, besides the security, is the land. A place for the girls to have a swing set. A big pool. A playhouse."
Tommy smirks. "Don't forget a place to kick a soccer ball and throw a football. Maybe I'll build a baseball diamond."
"Tommy," I say with a grin. "Do you think you're going to have a boy? Or are you planning on playing football with the girls?"
"Of course, I'd be thrilled with another healthy baby girl, but Inga said a long time ago that this one would be a boy."
"He didn't believe any of what he called that nonsense when I was pregnant with the girls, but now that it's what he wants to hear, he's a believer," Mom says, laughing.
"I'd love to have a baby brother. Although, if he's like you, he'll be trouble."
"Only if we're lucky," Tommy grins. He loves his former bad boy reputation. "Anyway, I think we'll all like the new house. And, of course, you'll have your own suite."
"What about this house?"
"Once we get moved, we thought we'd put it on the market."
"I'll buy it," I blurt out. I can't let go of this house.
"Really?" Tommy says. "You don't want a fresh start?"
"Speaking of that," Mom says delicately. "It was suggested that we have a psychiatrist come talk to you. With everything you've been through, you seem entirely too normal. And this morning you seem exceedingly happy. Is it all just an act?"
"No, Mom. I'm happy. I'm home. With my family. With B. And I'm going to call Vanessa and RiAnne today. I owe them an explanation. And a few apologies."
"What about Aiden? Have you talked to him?" Tommy asks.
"I've texted him some. I let him know what happened. He knows we're all back together. He's back home healing up. He said his shoulder is feeling better."
"You seemed really close in France," Mom says, using her gentle voice again.
"We are really close."
"Don't you think you owe him more than just a few texts?" Tommy asks.
"Of course, I do. But he understands that I just got my life back."
"Yes, but does he know about you and Brook?"
"He knows I promised B another chance." I study both Mom and Tommy's faces then ask, "Do you think I'm being selfish taking a few days for myself?"
"No, but Aiden's in love with you," Mom says.
Tommy adds, "I just feel bad for him. I mean, the wait. The not knowing who you've chosen has got to be killing him."
"I didn't expect to know right away. When Aiden and I talked about it, he said he was okay with me dating them both when I got my life back, so he's not expecting an answer."
"Still . . ." Mom says.
"It's just not something I want to say in a text or over the phone. I need to tell him this in person. He deserves to hear it from me that way."
"You're right. Your life," Tommy says. "We'll butt out."
"You know, for the first time in my life, I actually feel like it is my life. And I can't wait to live it. I'm so excited Knox and I are taking over the Trinity franchise roles."
I get a grin somewhere in size between his I-think-I'm-having-a boy-smile and the one he gets when you offer him a good glass of scotch. "That's still supposed to be a secret. Matt's so freaking excited, he's already hired a writer. He's hoping to start filming next year in the fall. Have you thought about that? What you'll do about high school?"
"I really haven't thought that far ahead yet. All I know is that I'm going out for Chinese with B today. I can almost taste the egg rolls. Do you want to join us?"
"We're supposed to tour the house before we put in an offer. But we thought we'd have a few people over for drinks and to watch the sunset. Millie, Deron, Matt and Marisa, Damian. Will you be back in time? I know they want to see you."
"I'll make sure we are. Speaking of food, I think I'll make some waffles and then wake the girls up."
AIDEN
Damian calls me.
"Hey, Crash Gordon," he says.
"Very funny."
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. Hate having my arm in a stupid sling, though."
"So could you come to Malibu today?"
"I told her I'd give her time." I let out a sigh. "With him."
"When did you tell her that? And why?"
"When we were in St. Croix, after he called. She said she promised him another chance. I told her I was up for the challenge, but I thought I had until August with her. I wasn't prepared for all this. How is she? She's been texting me some. She sounds normal, but how could she be after everything she's been through?"
"There are a lot of reporters dying to know those answers too. So far, she and Brooklyn have refused to talk to anyone other than the reporters Keatyn made the deal with at the dance. I just spoke to her. She's really happy to be home with her family."
"I know. That's the other reason I don't want to intrude. And . . . I really don't want to know the answer to this, but what about her and Brooklyn?"
"They're closer than ever because of what they went through."
"Shit," I say.
"Dude, do you love her?"
"You know I do."
"Then come to Malibu and ask her that question yourself. Or are you the kind of guy who will go down without a fight?"
"I promised."
"Fine, do what you want. But I'm just gonna say there's a plane sitting on the tarmac with your name on it. Like, you know, in case you wanna come. I'm texting you her address and approving you at the guard stand. We're going to have drinks there tonight and watch the sun set."
"The sunset?" I say, immediately remembering the first one we watched together. On the bench in front of the library. "Okay. I'll think about it."
"Bring your sister with you. I miss her."
"Is that what this is really about?"
"No, it's not what this is really about. Keatyn is my best friend. I've seen how she is with you. I've seen how she is with him. I don't think you shoul
d give up. But it's up to you. Take me up on my offer or don't."
He hangs up.
"What the hell is there to even think about?" I say out loud as I grab my wallet, toss a few clothes in a bag, and yell to my sister. "I'm going to Malibu. You wanna come?"
"Uh, yeah! When do you want to leave?"
"You've got five minutes," I reply.
Now that I've decided to go, I can't get there soon enough.
Peyton rushes out to the truck my parents bought yesterday to replace my car. It's not exactly an even replacement, but I couldn't care less what I'm driving as long as it gets me to the airport.
"Text Mom and Dad and let them know we left."
"Why are you in such a hurry? Malibu isn't going anywhere."
I raise an eyebrow at her.
She bobs her head back and forth. "I mean, I know a bomb went off there recently and all, but everyone's okay."
"I need to see Keatyn," I say.
I also need my sister to stop talking.
"How's the shoulder?"
"It's fine."
"What the hell is up your butt? You talk to Keatyn like that and she's going to send you back home."
"I'm sorry. I'm nervous. No, I'm excited. I'm nervous and excited. Worried. Freaking out, mostly. I have no idea what I'll say to her. She has no idea I'm coming."
"Aiden, if Keatyn loves you the way I think she does, it will all work out. Damian told me about her promise to her ex-boyfriend. Are you sure you shouldn't give her a little time? I mean, she just got her life back. Her family is finally together."
"Damian is the one who suggested this trip."
"Oh," she says, glancing down and looking interested in her cuticles.
"What?"
"Uh, nothing."
"Tell me what you're thinking."
"I'm thinking if Damian made you come, it's bad."
"That's what I'm afraid of. I know nothing about them. Why didn't I ask more about him? About their relationship."
"Probably because you didn't want to know," she says. "I know some. I know that he hurt her. I know that Damian didn't like the way he treated her."
"When she went to her little sister's birthday, he was there. He's probably practically part of the family."
Damian meets us outside Keatyn's house and gives my sister a kiss that's too long for me to be able to wait until it's finished.
I can't wait any longer.
I ring the bell.
Keatyn opens the door, laughing. She looks more beautiful and happier than I've ever seen her.
But her smile turns into something else the second she sees me.
"Aiden!" She shakes her head. "I wasn't expecting you tonight. Sorry, come in."
I want to just scream at her.
Pick me.
Love me.
Tell me.
But before I can say anything, Brooklyn, who I immediately recognize from his Facebook page, walks into the hall with one of the triplets on his back, looking entirely too cozy here.
Why the fuck did I do this?
"Aiden! Aiden!" her little sisters chant.
At least someone is happy to see me.
Gracie stands in front of me and says, "Bad Kiki no bad no more. She's Lucky now. My furry, good puppy saved Bwooklyn."
"I think it was Keatyn who did the saving," Brooklyn says, picking Gracie up and tickling her.
I watch as Keatyn and Brooklyn share a smile.
An intimate one.
Oh, god.
Did she sleep with him?
Already?
"We taking this action film star stuff a little too seriously?" I ask. It doesn't come out in the funny way I mean it to.
She gives me a precious pout and says, "I killed fish."
I want to reach out and touch her face. Say, Baby, it's okay, but she turns toward him.
"I'm sorry. Um, Aiden, this is Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Aiden."
Brooklyn reaches out and shakes my hand. He's confident.
I hate him.
Keatyn says, "Everyone is out on the deck. Come join us."
Her mom and Tommy are polite as is everyone else who's here and that I already know. Cooper, James, Kym, Millie and Deron, the Morans.
They are happily celebrating and chatting about stuff that I should probably be paying attention to.
Lots of details she hasn't told me.
But I can't focus on their conversations.
I can only focus on her.
She's walking toward me, holding a glass of wine.
Her long blonde hair is blowing in the breeze. Her hips have that easy, sexy sway.
When she hands me the wine, her smell invades my senses.
She smells different here. There's salt and something fruity mixed in with her normal sugar-sweet smell.
"The sun's getting ready to set," she whispers, sliding into the chair next to me. "I know when we watched sunsets together you were thinking about your mom surviving another day, but they touched me because it also meant that my family had survived another day. You helped me so many times when I was upset. I really appreciate it."
Brooklyn sits down on the other side of me and says sincerely, "I appreciate all you did for Keats, too."
He's thanking me?
Fuck.
That's bad.
It's so bad I can't speak. I just nod and wonder why the fuck I'm doing this to myself.
The sunlight fades, but the party continues.
And why the hell does Brooklyn have to be so cool? Like, if I didn't hate him, he's the kind of guy I could be friends with.
Actually, he reminds me of Dallas.
But then I realize why he's being so cool.
Because he knows.
He knows she chose him. Knows there's no competition. It's over. He's won.
He touches her arm.
She laughs.
And I want to kill him.
Gracie is sitting on his lap. Apparently, she knows too.
Why did I agree to this torture?
And why the hell did Damian tell me to come?
Speaking of the fucker, he walks in the door with my sister on his arm. I don't even want to know where they've been or what they've been doing for however long this nightmare has been going on.
My sister is glowing and happy. In love.
Damian and Peyton greet everyone and chat while I think about my tattoo.
The one hiding under my shirt in shame.
I was so sure of our love when I got a pair of cowboy boots wrapped in a heart on my side yesterday.
Now, I feel like a fool.
Everyone is laughing. Drinking.
I can't drink.
I feel like I'm going to explode.
Can't they see?
The time bomb app is going off inside me.
She saved him.
She loved him for more than two years. How did I think I could ever compete with a foundation like that?
Finally, as the sky turns from dusk to night, Brooklyn stands up, touches Keatyn's shoulder, and says, "Thanks for dinner. I'm gonna head home. I know you and Aiden need to talk." He looks at me, gives me a wave, and then kisses her on the cheek.
She stands up and hugs him way too tightly.
Then she beams at him and says, "Sunrise together? Surfing, as usual?"
Sunrise?
What about sunset? The million sunsets that we were supposed to watch together?
"Although, I don't have my board," she continues. "It's still in St. Croix."
Brooklyn smiles at her. "I'll bring you a board. Don't forget your skirt. Damian, you up for it?"
"Absolutely, man, it's about time we're back here together. I already texted all the guys."
Okay, it's official.
I hate Damian too.
Especially as he says to Keatyn, "Your board is at my house. I brought it home with me."
She runs over and gives him a hug. "You did? That was so sweet!"
"Yeah, yeah," he says,
embarrassed by her outpouring of emotion.
That's one thing I love about her. Her emotions. They always seem so raw. So real. Like everything just affects her more than other people. And that face. God, I love that face. The way her every emotion is practically written across it.
You always know exactly what she's thinking and feeling.
Except tonight.
With me, she's guarded.
And that can't be good.
Brooklyn gives me the once over, then asks, "You surf?"
No.
No fucking way I'm going to surf with him.
But, of course, the competitor in me says, "Absolutely."
"Can you surf with the sling?"
"Aiden is just learning," Keatyn tells him. "But he's a natural." At least she's sticking up for me a little. She turns to me. "And, no. You're not surfing with a broken collar bone."
Then she grabs my pinkie.
It's a simple, small gesture.
But her touch is like a jolt of lightning to my body.
Bringing all the feelings I've been trying to push down right back up to the surface.
She kisses her sisters goodnight and then leads me down to the beach.
Their beach.
I look up at the moon, shining brightly above us.
My life was a mess when I made a wish on it.
A lot of girls who only needed a smile from me, a few shots, or a good game.
My dad says success is a string of failures.
She was a string of failures. Of wrong moves. Of saying stupid stuff.
She infuriated me to no end.
Pushed me to my limits.
I know the moon brought her to me. I know she saved me from myself.
Showed me what love is supposed to be.
Not the shallow, immature love I used to believe in. Love that was nothing more than hormones and ego.
When she kicked the soccer ball at my head, it was like she woke up my soul.
At that moment, I knew.
As naturally as I knew the sound of my own heartbeat.
Knew we belonged together forever.
When I told her she had my heart, I meant it.
And, now, she might choose him. Probably already did.
There were so many times she told me she didn't know where things stood with him. That he still held a piece of her heart.
All I know is this. If she chooses me, I'll sure as hell dance with her on her birthday.
I take a deep breath and tell myself to stop freaking out.
To believe in our love.
And when I do, I feel the innate pull she has on me--like gravity, constantly drawing me to her.
I really don't know how I'd ever be okay without her.
