She was pregnant with Adam and had almost suffered a miscarriage.
Sometimes, my heart pains. She had been posed with a huge choice back then – we hadn’t planned Adam in anyway. He had barged in on our lives. But he was also so precious that Anna had given up working with Toni in a heartbeat. I know it made her sad. I also know it made her feel lonely. But that was the first sacrifice she had made for our family. After Adam was born and it was time to take care of him, she had to quit the unofficial training she gave to the young’uns as well. There was danger of being hurt and she wanted to be there for Adam, healthy and strong.
“I can’t abandon my son, Henry,” she said everytime, sighing the deepest sigh of regret, “I know what it feels like to be abandoned. I won’t do that to him.”
Her life is out on the fields. I knew that. I gave her time to sort her feelings out, I’ve been taking care of Adam every day. I don’t leave her alone. Ever. Which is why I knew she won’t be the woman I came to love anymore, if she kept denying herself everything that was her heart and soul.
But tonight, we won.
I pushed Anna into getting a license for a training center. She thought it was an okay replacement for what she did at the warehouse since she couldn’t actually allow the use of weapons at a training center. Toni gave up his dojo when he heard of this – calling her a rightful heir. I think it was the thought of carrying forward Toni’s name as an instructor which excited her to take up the job. It’s her oldest, one of her best memories. She still has her old students come up there now. I know for sure that her teaching touches grey areas more often than not.
But the dojo could never have excited her like working with the cops did. Which is why I pushed her into finishing high school. She was embarrassed at first, she denied it saying she was old, she wasn’t going back to school. But I made her anyway.
And tonight we win because not only did Anna complete senior high, she also passed the written entrance exam to the police academy.
I planned it all a year ago. I want her to be an agent. An actual one. Not a freelancer. Someone who could go out on the field any time, and would be protected by the government for being part of it. Not a mere skilled outsider.
I won’t say it was an easy decision to make. When Anna gave up everything remotely dangerous for the sake of us, I was relieved. Relieved that she’d be safe. She’d be home. But Anna was enchanting for a reason. She was so many things that I never could dream to be, I wanted my kids to know their mother for the woman she was. I didn’t want security at the cost of Anna’s dreams. She had worked hard to be who she was, and I somehow wanted to protect it.
I removed my face from her belly and lifted her up. She squealed in surprise. Settling myself on the beanbag instead, I lay her on my lap. Anna chuckled, pressing her face into my chest while she put an arm around my neck for support. I kissed her.
“Whose are we reading first?” I asked.
“Yours of course.”
“Okay. Baby?”
“Hm.”
“Congratulations. I’m so proud of you.”
She beamed. The corners of her mouth lighted her beautiful green eyes, and my heart sang.
“Thank you! I didn’t think I’d make it. But here we are.”
I shifted so I could pull my envelope out of my pocket. I handed it over to her.
“There you go.”
I knew what it would mean for us if Anna went back. What about her safety? What if she’s hurt? What if one day she doesn’t come back? All those worries would return. We had therefore reached a conclusion. If Anna qualified her exam, we would begin to write letters.
Letters to our children.
Today is the first instance.
When we got married, we decided that we would always respect each other’s choices. And my kids would know their mother and father one way or the other.
I know how gruesome the concept of writing such letters is. But like I said, reality is not pretty. And I know that I can’t live without Anna. But she won’t give up living just because she’s afraid she could abandon her kids.
Which is why we decided. With the utmost honesty possible, we would talk to our kids. As if they were sixteen… eighteen…twenty. Fifty maybe. They should know that come what may, Anna and I would never abandon them. They were precious and loved.
She pulled the letter from my hands. Opening it up, her face brightened.
“I know it’s fucking silly, but I’m sort of excited.”
“Language sweetheart.”
“Yes, yes. Should we start?”
“Yeah.”
She read the first two sentences aloud. Her expression changed to one of bother soon. I ended up chuckling. My letter went like this:
“My Thug Bride
Kids, this is the beginning of your mom and dad’s fated romance. I’m calling Letter #1 My Thug Bride because the first time I saw your mom, I thought she was a thug. There was only one thought resounding in my head the entire night of our first meeting - Anna Fucking Reeves!”
Anna looked up at me in alarm.
“Henry, did you just badmouth me to our children?”
I shrugged and landed a peck on her cheek, “Don’t act so innocent. We said we’d write about the first day we met. So I’m pretty sure you wrote nothing nice about me either.”
She cocked a brow, “I didn’t write Henry Fucking Hathaway.”
I chuckled, “Sweetheart, just read the letter. I’ll gush all about how much in love I am with you, but our babies have to know how kickass their mom is first. And why dad fell in love with her.”
She stared at me in doubt before her eyes fell on the paper again. She began to read, “Have you ever looked at someone and just known in your bones that they were not for you? I have. That person for me was Anna. When I first saw her, she was wobbling out of a cheap bar, dressed in a pair of tight ripped jeans and a loose, off-shoulder orange top. I still have trouble trying to forget how she looked that day. It was because not many women around me have the guts that Anna has. Even back then, she was alone at two in the morning, dead drunk, barely able to walk. She stood in an alleyway where I had ended up by chance. I still remember that day.
I will always remember it.
I was behind the wheels in my car, watching out against anything and everything that moved. I had had a long day, and there was someone whom I had to meet in private. I am a lawyer and this was during a time when my business wasn’t going so well. The Hathaway & Brown Partners was not what it is now. It took a lot of effort from me and my partner, but we are the most sought after law firm today.
But those were difficult times. A high profile client had requested us, to our surprise and asked to meet me in a less than ideal situation. A reasonable man would have denied it, of course, a desperate man did not. So there I was, in the dead of the night, parked in a dark and dangerous looking alley.
And out came the wobbling Anna.
I had seen a dingy looking bar right at the corner, so I knew this drunk woman had to be coming from there. Half my heart had beaten ferociously. I have seen enough porno to know what could possibly go down here.
But I was also alert.
While Anna was fumbling for something in her bag – maybe her phone – I decided I needed to be a little more inconspicuous. You see, from where I was parked, she could see me. And I didn’t want her to. More than that, I didn’t want to see what she was up to.
I remember praying silently for my client to come sooner.
While I turned on the ignition and was about to roll back, she wobbled all the more. Her heels must have been killing her and I was right to think she was looking for her phone. She finally pulled it out but not before thumping her chest and turning to the side to puke her guts out.
I groaned. This was a disaster.
Should I go out? Did she need help? I didn’t want any trouble at this point.
I pulled back, but I wanted to keep her in sight. It didn’t look like she w
as there with a man or doing anything illegal – I decided to watch her in case things went south. After relieving herself, she flopped on her knees and took deep breaths.
It was then that a shadow moved.
I don’t remember seeing much. The shock from that day still shakes me.
I didn’t even see it coming but someone moved behind her. I didn’t see them, I swear I didn’t, but I saw her. This woman – this complete haggard looking mess – stood up on her staggering feet. And before I could breathe, she landed a backward kick. It all happened within a split second because what I saw next was her stepping back to lean against the wall. And before her, a man fell, crouching on his knees.
His painful groan echoed through the night. She had kicked him right in the crotch.
I practically pissed my pants. My heartbeat rocketed and I wanted to turn around and drive away, but she kept me hooked. It was like watching a very messy version of Batman live.
My analogy is wrong, I agree. But that’s what I had thought at that time. I couldn’t even see the battle before me. She was that fast. And just like that, she beat up two more guys who emerged out of nowhere.
She was sort of cool.
But I’m a lawyer by profession. My boyish fascination for coolness could not outwit me even then, and very soon I had turned the engines of my car. All of this was against the law, and I was leaving.
It was then that my phone rang. I saw the number of my client and a swear escaped my lips.
Fuck you. I remember thinking. Fuck you a thousand times over.
But I picked up.
Somebody coughed and then panted into the phone. It was female. “Don’t you dare fucking leave. I will find you and I will kill you if you do.”
Oh, yes.
The floor slipped from beneath my feet, and I was met with enraged, fiery green eyes glaring at me from a good distance. She couldn’t see me, but of course with those fighting senses, she knew where I was.
Yes.
My secret client turned out to be Anna Fucking Reeves, your mother that night.”
Epilogue (2)
Anna
I snuggled closer to Henry, laughing at so many of his phrases. I didn’t know he had been so afraid of me that night. I looked up at the firmness in his face, the stern streak that his mouth had developed over the past three years. He has changed a lot in the time we have spent together. And yet he remains the same.
I don’t know what I did to deserve him.
I closed the letter and handed over mine to him. I pressed a hand to my stomach, caressing it gently, wondering if my daughter felt all the love that I had for her father. For her brother. For her.
You know it right, sweetheart? Mom loves you. So much.
When I had given up working with Toni, I hadn’t thought I would miss it so much. My intention in being an agent had always been to be able to build something of my own. To have a place where I wasn’t alone. Somewhere I could belong.
I belonged with this family of mine now. I thought it would be enough.
But as it turned out, it wasn’t. I missed the field, the thrill, the empowerment that came with the joy of knowing that I was ridding the world of one more horrible piece of shit. So when I gave in to Henry’s plan, I felt an ecstasy I hadn’t felt in years.
It took me time to consider and accept the fact that if I went around doing dangerous work again, maybe there would come a day when I might not return home. Like it had happened when we had found out about Adam. I had nearly escaped death.
But life was empty without my work. So for now, I’m just going for it.
If nothing, I like to think that I’m making the world a little better place for my kids. And I’m not someone who would die easily anyway.
Henry opened up my letter and teased, “Scared?”
I challenged, “Mine isn’t as mortifying as yours. I didn’t title it My Wuss Groom.”
Despite himself, he cracked, “Damnit. I’m reading.”
His voice was soft and soothing. I looked over at Adam, sleeping soundly as he suckled on his thumb. My heart filled with happiness. He looks a lot like Henry. But when he’s angry and crying bloody murder in the middle of the night, I know he resembles me.
Henry began to read, “Hello babies. This is mom. I’m not really a writer, so I don’t know how this will turn out. Dad and I decided to tell you how we first met. So I guess… here we go.
I had never been so fucking angry. I mean I’m usually very angry as a person, my dad says I’m a natural rebel. Doesn’t mean it’s always meaningful. Most of it can come from just a simple characteristic of mine: I’m headstrong. And I do what I want.
A high schooler’s line, but it has been my motto ever since I heard it: My life, my rules.
I’m Anna Hathaway… Anna Reeves, actually. The becoming of the Hathaway is what this fuss is all about.
The first time I met Henry was three years ago on a fateful night. It’s a hilarious encounter from what I can remember of it. Henry says he will never forget it. I keep telling him to let it go. He can’t.
He’s a wuss. He always has been.
And now that we stand with each other all these years later, I can’t help but keep thinking. What made me fall for this man? We’re making decisions that can uproot our lives. And yet, here we are anyway.
My story begins when I was adopted into the Reeves family. I was thirteen. I was an orphan. With serious anger issues that showed up when I turned five and slammed a boy’s head against an iron window. In my defense he was bullying my best friend. She turned out to be a bitch, but that’s a different story. I was circulated around foster families since then – until Markian Reeves decided I was disturbed enough to adopt.
Markian is the Chairman of RDesigns and I am his social project.
I don’t mind that. Whatever the reason, he gave me a comfortable life. Better than the one I had experienced for thirteen years. When I met Henry, it had already been ten years since I had been living with Markian. Being the business God he is, I am part of Markian’s share of corporate social responsibility. That’s what I think.
He of course, thinks he loves me. I’m his prodigal daughter.
I’ll be honest though. I think I love him too. Part of the reason why will always be Henry. Henry… how do I put it? It’s funny. Despite how fucked up Henry and I are, when I met him for the first time, he was just a funny, annoying ass. Like, when it all started, I’d never felt so angry before. I was fuming on that night, three years ago.
I had just cleaned up a disturbing mess. Fought off three of my former underlings. I was there to help Henry out with a rather lucrative offer which he totally didn’t deserve. And what did he choose to do?
Run away.
I couldn’t believe my eyes back then. What a jerk! Here a lady was, fighting her shapely ass off, and this man chose to turn away with his car. He forced me to finish quickly. I beat up my rowdy underlings and called Henry Hathaway. His name was as unimpressive as his physique.
I threatened him, “Don’t you dare fucking leave. I will find you and I will kill you if you do.” The least he could have done was given a drunk helpless girl a ride home.
But yeah. Talk about foolishness. Your mom threatened a lawyer, literally.
In my defense again, I was angry. I dashed for the car, though I couldn’t see his face. I knocked at the windshield and waited for him. God knows I was fuming. What sort of a man runs when a girl is in trouble?
Henry now teases me, “It was a girl beating up grown men in a dark alley. You get your facts straight.” I take his point. But back then, I remember being annoyed. When I faced him, it took him a good two minutes to react.
He rolled down his window.
Square jaw, lean and handsome face. Eyes that of a sea, blue and rather pretty. His body was unflattering from what I could see of it. And he was scared as shit.
I rolled my eyes.
Fine. He won. He was a scaredy cat. My mistake.
I brushed through my bag for a paper. He practically looked ready to piss his pants, he wouldn’t even maintain eye contact. No wonder he was failing as a lawyer, I thought.
When I found my paper, I scribbled down my address and slammed it on his half open window. Then, I turned around to leave.
You see, I have rules. I fight, but I’m not a bully. Man or woman, I make it a point to spare the weak. Not because I’m a hero, but because helplessness of any sort makes me terribly angry.
And that is how my first encounter with Henry went. Unflattering, right?
But he is the man I fell in love with.
The man I stand with now, wondering how in the world we found each other. Three years… not that long a period of time. And yet it seems like ages have passed. I don’t know what havoc our choices would bring along. I hope we’re ready for it.
We, as the millennials would say these days, might be a classic case of not meant to be. Or we could be lovers of the century.
That’s all that it is. Though I do want to retell this story from the beginning.
Henry does too. I know.
I hope we get it right this time around, kids. And I hope we both get to read these letters with you someday.”
Henry put the letter away.
The atmosphere between us tensed. He played with locks of my hair mindlessly, while I eased into his arms.
“Sweetheart?”
“Yeah?” I looked up at him.
“You never got around to telling me why you had called me at two in the morning that night.”
I straightened. I pressed my lips to hold in my smile, surprised that the secret had not given way for three years. We had forgotten about it.
“It was because of Peter,” I finally confessed, “He used to mention you when we texted, so I was curious what you were like. He turned down meeting with me that night, so I asked for you instead. We made a bet. He said I couldn’t scare you. I said I’d frighten the living hell out of any man.”
My Thug Bride Page 17
