by Ella Maven
“Bullshit,” I spat.
Crius’s shoulders hunched, but he didn’t look at me. The coward refused to meet my gaze.
“You led me away from Gar when I told you I didn’t think it was a good idea. It was you who shoved me in front of you and told me to keep walking straight. And it was you who disappeared on me. I didn’t wander off. The struggle lasted a long time. There was no snatch and grab. They hit me in the face and stomach. I broke my ankle trying to defend myself. And it was Drak who killed them to save me.” I lifted my chin in the air and leveled Daz with a glare. I jabbed a finger in Crius’s direction. “He is lying.”
Daz held my gaze, and if I was someone else, I would have been wholly intimidated. His dark purple stare pierced me like a laser, dissecting my words and actions.
I held my breath, terrified he’d believe his warrior over me, when I knew something was wrong about Crius. If he lied about me, then he also could have lied about…
I looked at Drak. His eyes were no longer closed. He watched Crius closely. Gar stood now, and only Ward and Sax held Drak down. His big body was coiled, ready to strike. And I didn’t give anyone an ounce of warning about it.
“Crius,” Daz said in a firm, even tone. “I don’t believe you.”
Crius erupted into a sputtering mess. Gar crossed the room in one giant stride and slammed his fist down on the table in front of Crius. He snarled in the beaten male’s face. “She could have died or worse! I trusted you, and you betrayed me, this clavas, and our creed!”
“I’m not lying!” Crius shouted back, but his voice shook, and his eyes were wild, panicked. “She’s not remembering right. You’d actually believe a human female over me?”
“I absolutely would,” Gar shouted, spittle flying to mix with the dried blood on Crius’s face. “Especially Miranda.”
Drak made his move. With an almighty lunge, he broke free from Sax and Ward’s grip. But Gar was faster. He thrust his hand out, caught Drak around the neck and slammed him against the table.
“No!” I cried. Drak’s head thudded against the table with a sickening crack, and his body went limp.
Wrists burning white hot, all I could after that was scream.
Eleven
Drak
Low voices carried on the breeze, and I froze. I was outside the Night Kings territory, so past Nero’s eyes. Daz, our drexel, had asked us to start scouting past our borders because Nero had seen some suspicious activity in the distance in his eyes. None had been close enough to be distinguishable.
I crouched and crept forward, stepping carefully to avoid sound as the voices drew closer. The familiar sneer of the Uldani raised the machets on the back of my neck. What were the Uldani doing in the western hemisphere? They knew it was a death sentence to be caught here. I needed a full report to take back to Daz, so I peered through the underbrush.
“We need to know the Night Kings activities.” An Uldani official wearing an adorned jacket stood with another Uldani at his side, their backs to me. Nearby stood twelve Kulks.
“I promise I’ll have information,” said a familiar voice. “But you have to give me some time. I’m not on the council meetings, so I don’t hear everything that happens.”
I sucked in breath, barely able to believe what I was hearing. The Uldani shifted his weight, and there Crius stood, one of my warrior brothers, making a deal with the Uldani to find them a human female.
“Remember, you give us information, and we return the favor. Understand?”
Crius glared. “I understand.”
I ached to reveal myself, to tear apart those Kulks, slice the Uldani into pieces, and then shake Crius until he revealed why he would betray all of what we Drixonian warriors stood for. She is All.
I turned and crept back the way I came. Daz must be informed that Crius was a betrayer. We had never been close, Crius and I, but his willingness to work with the Uldani still cut me deep.
I heard them coming, but it didn’t matter. How they heard me was a mystery, as I was silent as night, but one minute I was picking my way through the forest and the next I was surrounded by Kulks. The Uldani stood in the distance. In front was Crius.
I didn’t say a word. There was nothing to say.
Crius shook his head, and while he looked pained, anger rose in his face, flushing his blue cheeks and igniting in his eyes. “You stupid bastard,” he spat. “You just had to scout beyond the territory today? Didn’t you?”
I didn’t answer.
“I know you heard us.”
I still didn’t say anything. I let my machets loose.
But it didn’t matter. With a shake of his head, he held his arms out at his sides and made a signal with his fingers. The Kulks descended on me. I took on a few, dispatching them easily, but I didn’t anticipate Crius. His fist slammed into my head, catching me off balance, and that was all it took for the swarm of Kulks to take over.
Blows rained down. My ribs, my chest, my shoulders, my head. A large metal boot rose above my face and slammed down on my temple. Pain exploded in my head. My thoughts went up in a fiery ball of flame and smoke, and then everything went black.
I came to with a gasp. My head pounded and my throat ached. I blinked up at the ceiling, memories slamming back into me in bits and pieces like a laser gun firing into my brain.
Beaten and bloody, my mind a fragmented mess. Daz questioning me. Crius explaining that I’d betrayed my clavas with the Kulks. Had I? I couldn’t remember. Why would I do that?
Daz casting me out. I walked through the forest without direction until I heard bootsteps behind me. I’d turned around, hoping it was Daz, or Sax, or Ward—anyone to tell me they’d made a mistake.
But it was Crius, backed by a few Uldani. Do it, they’d ordered him. Crius had clenched his jaw, regret flashing his eyes for a second before he lunged at me.
Still weak from my injuries, I fought as hard as I could, but he overpowered me long enough to slice his machets across my throat. You’ll never tell anyone the truth now.
Blood everywhere. Tainting the leaves. On my hands. Dripping down my chest to pool in the dirt.
After that, I let the smoke overtake my mind.
But now…I rolled my head to the side to see Miranda scrambling onto the table on her hands and knees, crawling toward me with wet streaks on her cheeks. The wall of smoke had cleared. A blinding light shone through. I remembered now. I remembered it all. And I’d never ever let anyone silence me again.
I sat up, and Gar tensed in front of me, but I only had eyes for Crius. “You,” I uttered in a broken rasp. Miranda went still at my side, as did everyone else in the room. “You…lied. You…talked to…Uldani. I…found you. You had me…beaten…so I couldn’t… remember.”
Crius didn’t move except for the pounding vein in his neck.
I rose slowly, and no one stopped me this time. “You…led Merr-anda…to Kulks. Didn’t you?”
Crius swung his gaze to Daz with a snarl. “He isn’t making sense! You casted him out fifteen cycles ago. He doesn’t deserve to have a voice at this table.”
“You… tried to take my voice!” I roared, the burn in my throat making me clutch my neck on a pained moan.
My knees buckled, but this time, Gar’s hand was there, not in aggression but for support. He kept me on my feet and watched me carefully, looking into my eyes just as my Merr-anda’s hands touched my shoulders.
“It hurts him to speak,” she said. “He couldn’t even say his name when we first met.”
“I … have to.” I said to her, cradling her face. “Rest … later. Truth now.”
Crius raged. “He nearly killed me, and now you’re going to let him—”
Gar smacked the back of his head so hard that his forehead slammed into the table.
He cried out.
“Shut up,” the big warrior growled. “You lied about what happened with Miranda, so we have to determine if you were telling the truth about Drak. I always wondered why he didn’t defend
himself. I thought it was out of guilt.”
“He and the Kulks … beat me.” I said. “Couldn’t…” I shook my head. “Couldn’t … remember.”
“And now?” Daz asked.
I stood tall. “Now…I remember.”
Crius struggled to rise, and when Daz pressed on his shoulder to keep him sitting, Crius turned on him with his machets lifted. The warriors in the room went berserk as they placed their bodies between the attacker and their drexel. Raising your machets to the drexel was forbidden, an instant challenge.
Crius was cornered, and he knew it. Unable to reach the door or his drexel, he made a grab for Miranda. But I got there first. With a forearm to his throat, I took him to the ground and placed my foot on his throat. I pressed down, and he gurgled a protest. A little more pressure and I’d snap the delicate bones in his throat. Then he’d know what it felt like to be silenced. He flailed but I pressed harder, and he went limp, eyes wide, as he knew he’d been beat.
Daz spoke, but I didn’t focus on his words. I was too busy staring into the face that had haunted me for ten cycles, the face I knew betrayed me, but I hadn’t been able to remember how, when, or why.
Now I knew. He’d sacrificed me to save himself. She is All was our creed, but after that it was never betray a warrior. Crius had done more than that. He’d betrayed me, and everyone in this clavas.
Hands tugged on me, and I let them pull me off Crius as Xavy and Nero hauled him to his feet. They led him away, his head hung between his shoulders. When the door shut behind them, I stared after it.
“They’re taking him to a barred cell. Not a hut like you were in, but a locked cell,” Daz said. There was a pause before he spoke again. “Drak?”
I blinked and turned to him.
He gestured to the seat next to him. “I understand it hurts you to speak, but I need to hear what you remember. Everything.”
I sat down, Miranda at my side, and I repeated everything I remembered, from finding him in the forest talking to the Uldani, to them beating me up, to stumbling back to the clavas with Crius to hear him accuse me of betrayal.
How he’d found me after I was casted out and slit my throat. I’d lived, but I hadn’t spoken a single word after that moment. Not until Merr-anda.
“Did you see Gar or Crius that day you found Miranda?”
I shook my head. “Only … her fighting … Kulks.”
“Daz, I swear to you, Crius led me away from Gar,” Miranda said. “He left me there, like he was making a delivery to the Kulks. He framed Drak fifteen years ago, and he must still be in league with the Uldani.”
Daz leaned back in his chair, his elbow on the armrest, as he rubbed his fingers across his blue nubbed brow. With his lips pressed together, he closed his eyes on a heavy sigh. For a moment, he looked as if the whole world was on his shoulders.
My memories of Daz had returned in bits and pieces. He’d been a leader during the Uprising from the Uldani. Strong and dependable, his focus was on gaining our independence, rather than destroying the Uldani as a race. He’d been a fair drexel.
When he opened his eyes, guilt swam in his purple irises. “I wouldn’t be a good drexel if I didn’t admit when I was wrong. And fifteen cycles ago, I was wrong. I believed Crius. He said you two had fought—he’d been beaten too, although now I suspect those injuries were self-inflicted. And you had been silent and stunned, like you couldn’t believe you’d been caught. I should have let you heal and given you time to defend yourself. Instead I made a snap judgement that let a guilty warrior live here and endanger our women while a good warrior remained alone for fifteen flecking cycles. I’m sorry, Drak.”
He hesitated, and then reached out to clasp the back of my neck. He drew our foreheads together until they touched.
I sank into the familiar feeling of the Drixonian greeting of respect. I hadn’t felt this for fifteen cycles, and I’d forgotten it. I hadn’t remembered the strong palm on my neck as we breathed in each other’s air. But now I did, and I could see why my mind had shut everything off. It’d been self-preservation in a way. If I had remembered everything I lost, I never would have made it.
Daz’s words threaded through me like liquid gold. I hadn’t realized I needed his words until he said them. Merr-anda’s bloom glowed in my mind, no longer working so hard to shine light into the darkness of my mind.
But I couldn’t find it in me to return Daz’s gesture. My mind held me back. As much as my anger didn’t reside with Daz, I’d still lost fifteen cycles of my life to madness. I could barely speak with my mate because of Crius’s actions and Daz’s acceptance of Crius’s word without giving me time to heal and defend myself.
Resentment swam in my stomach, bitter and acidic. I wanted to vomit it up and give in, offer forgiveness, but the words tangled in my scarred throat, turning into something ugly. I didn’t trust myself to give them a voice, for fear of how they’d come out.
Daz released me, his expression guilty. I lifted my head.
“Crius will be allowed to speak for himself,” he said. “But I don’t think there’s much he can say to sway me. I’ll make the judgement on his sentence tomorrow.”
I nodded, weary, wanting nothing more than to eat and sleep in a bundle of soft furs with Miranda at my side.
“I’ll gather everyone to make the announcement that you are welcome within these walls as a free warrior. I understand if you don’t want to stay, but you will always be a Night King.” He gestured to my arm, which was naked of a red arm tag worn by the clavas. I’d had one once, before it’d been stripped of me. “If you decide to war the Night Kings tag again, it’s yours.”
I nodded again. That wasn’t a decision to be made now. As much as I wanted to say yes, a part of me needed more time. Assurance. Would everyone welcome me? Would I always be the mostly mute warrior who had been cast out? And most of all, could I trust Daz, and myself, enough to follow his leadership once again?
My place for so long had been on my own. I didn’t know how I could get used to living in a clavas again. So many memories here, many good. And others the worst of my life.
“Come on,” Daz rose to his feet. “We’ll convene in the dining hall for the announcement. It’s time everyone knows the truth.”
Twelve
Miranda
I was over crying. It made my eyes sting and my face hot and my head hurt. I held back a fresh wave of tears as Daz stood with Drak in the dining hall, his deep voice booming over the gathered crowded of warrior and human women.
“More than fifteen cycles ago, I made a mistake,” he said. “Drak was not responsible for betraying us, and in fact Crius is in a cell right now awaiting his judgement, not only for framing Drak, but also for putting one of our precious women in danger.”
Murmurs rippled through the crowed like a wave.
“Drak is welcome here, whether he visits as a guest or remains as a Night King. I also formally recognize Miranda as his cora-eternal.” He clasped Drak on the back. “Please respect his privacy and time as he adjusts to life in a clavas again.” He waved a hand. “As you were.”
The crowd didn’t break up immediately, many of them gawking at Drak, even as he turned and immediately sought me out. I met his eyes, and his shoulders relaxed as he visibly sighed. He cut through the crowd to reach me where I stood at the back next to Gar.
A heavy hand settled on my shoulder, and I glanced up to see Gar watching me. His teeth were clenched, and he heaved a sigh as it seemed to take what was gargantuan effort to unhinge his jaw and speak.
“I’m sorry for my part in you getting hurt. If I’d known Crius…” his hand on my shoulder tightened and I winced. He immediately let me go with a look of contrition. “Sorry,” he said quickly. The ever-present anger that swam in Gar’s eyes surfaced, turning his eyes a deep black.
“I don’t blame you,” I said. “You trusted Crius. Like everyone did. And if this all hadn’t of happened, I never would have met Drak. We wouldn’t have known the truth.”<
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Gar nodded with a jerk. He looked over my head, and I turned to see Drak striding toward us faster as he glared at Gar.
When he reached us, he pulled me into his arms. If he could’ve talked well, I imagined he would have told Gar to fuck off. Their eyes met. Held. Something passed between them, and it ended with Gar lowering his gaze. He gave me an indecipherable look, his features softening for just a moment. With that, he turned and walked away. Gar had always been protective of me, and it felt a little like he had passed the torch to Drak.
My mate looked dead on his feet. Fatigue was evident in the deep grooves of his face. When he swallowed, pain streaked across his face. I glanced around the room for my girls but didn’t see them anywhere. I could have used the support, but maybe it was for the better. After being alone for so long, I felt overwhelmed at the crowd. My stomach was a rioting mess. I didn’t want anything but to be alone with Drak.
I gathered a bundle of food, shoved it in Drak’s arms, and led him out of the dining hall. All the eyes on us made my skin crawl.
As we set off across the compound, my thoughts went to my room. When I’d been gone, I’d missed my friends, but now that I was back, I realized I’d been missing some other living things in my life—my plants.
I dreaded their state. Without my care, they couldn’t be in good shape. As Drak and I drew closer to the row of rooms, I glanced up to see my friends forming a line to block my view of my door. I stopped a few feet away and took in each of them. Frankie had a mischievous grin on her face. Tabitha tapped out a rhythm on her thigh with her fingers only she could hear. Justine stood with her arms crossed, an ever-present smirk on her face, while Naomi fidgeted, blinking at me from beneath her too long bangs.
“What’s this about?” I asked.
“We hope you don’t mind we took some liberties with your place,” Frankie said.
