by Dale Mayer
It left their problem-solving abilities behind because people never had any problems to solve. She’d had a wonderful opportunity to learn to grow and to mend her heart and to move on and to not blame everybody else around her for it. And to not look at who would be a friend and who wouldn’t be a friend, but being open to see what would come toward her. Because the world was full of strangers, and they really were just friends she had yet to meet.
With that realization, she could feel another huge weight falling off her shoulders. With a happy sigh, she collected her leftovers and garbage from lunch and headed back to the cafeteria, to the land of the living, where she really belonged.
“On both legs,” Shane said.
Jaden complied, standing upright and balanced—as much as he could. “I notice I’m still putting more weight on my good leg,” he muttered.
Shane nodded. “That’s normal, but I want you to balance out your weight. I want you to put it as equally on both as you can.”
Slowly, almost as if not giving himself a chance to trust that leg, he rested more and more weight on it. Then he slowly opened his arms and closed his eyes, feeling his body sway at the unnatural movement. “Well, it feels a little better,” he offered tentatively.
“It should be a lot better,” Shane said. “Understandably, you’re not sure you can trust it because it has given out on you before.”
“Well, it wasn’t anything I could count on,” he said with half a smile as he stared down at his big feet. “It’s still looking pretty rough.”
“That’s an appearance thing,” Shane said. “I want you to move slowly four steps toward me.”
Jaden tossed his head slightly and took one step with his bad leg, then his good leg, then his bad leg, and then his good leg. “Feels like I’m hobbling,” he said with half a laugh. But inside he was thrilled. “Yet I am holding my weight.”
“Now, turn around and go back,” Shane instructed.
Turning around was a little more awkward. “The ankle is stiff,” he muttered. “It’s like walking on a two by four.”
“And it will be for a while,” he said, “because, although we’re doing all these exercises and getting the mobility back, you haven’t asked it to walk normally in a long time.”
“And the surgeons and the pins all have had an impact,” Jaden added.
“Exactly,” Shane said. “So, it’s a case of a lot of things having to pull together now. But we need to get that leg moving more, so less wheelchair, more crutches, but a whole lot more without the crutches.”
Jaden looked at Shane in shock. “When you say, a whole lot more, what does that mean?” he asked.
“It means, I want you to do more.”
“And at what point in time is too much more too much?” Jaden asked.
“Well, I’d like to say that we can go by touch, but I don’t think we can at this point.” He walked to the side and grabbed the crutches, then said, “Get these under your arms.”
And, with that, Jaden immediately felt more balanced and also felt a huge sense of relief. He immediately took his weight off the bad leg.
“Okay, now you did that instinctively,” Shane said, noting Jaden’s shuffle of his feet. “But was it painful? Does it hurt to stand on that bad leg?”
“It’s weird. It’s odd. It’s different, but I’m not sure that painful is quite the right word,” Jaden said in confusion.
“And, when you think about it,” Shane said, “just having the crutch under your arm—as an expectation of being strong enough to support you—was holding you back.”
“So, a lack of trust?”
“Absolutely. Lack of trust. We’ll have to work on that with the crutches. I want you to walk one length of this room using that foot as much as you can but with the crutches for support, in case.”
Jaden made an odd face and said, “Well, you’re the boss here.”
But now knowing that the leg could handle some movement, Jaden slowly moved across the room and felt complete surprise at just how capable his right leg was. He walked down and back again, and even he could see that he was using the leg a little bit more and more, and the crutches were almost there just as a safeguard. By the time he got to the other end though, he was tired. “So, is it the leg that’s tired,” he asked, “or is it me?”
“Both,” Shane said, a big smile on his face. “This is a major mile marker for you,” he said. “Now, what we don’t want to do is overdo it, so every day we’ll do this until it’s not so strange and keeps getting easier to do.”
“Okay,” Jaden said agreeably. “How long until this right leg builds up so that I can do this without the crutches?”
“Well, let’s hold off on the wheelchair for the next two days, letting you rely on the crutches mainly,” he said. “Use the wheelchair if you absolutely have to. Otherwise, try to get along with the crutches. And that’s enough for today as it is. We’ve got some paperwork to go over.” They went over his measurements and his improvements as well as his weight, which he was really surprised to see was up seven pounds. He stared at that and said, “Is that due to Dennis’s cooking?”
“It’s also the added muscle,” Shane said, showing him the differences in the measurements. “You’re doing really well.”
“Does that mean I’m ready to leave soon?”
He studied the figures, seeing the differences in the right leg measurements, and looking at his leg and realizing it really was different. “You’re improving, but, no, not yet,” Shane said. “Maybe in about six or eight weeks. It depends if this continues.”
Jaden stared up at Shane in shock. “Will it continue?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “Just because you can put weight on your leg doesn’t mean that you’re fully capable of crouching and bending and doing all that life demands of that leg.”
“Wow,” he said. “Do you think it’ll get there?” He hated the fact that he heard such a tentative tone to his voice, that little bit of worry that maybe he couldn’t get what he needed, what he wanted.
“I think you have the capacity to get that leg fully functioning,” Shane said. “I haven’t seen anything that makes me think differently.”
“Glad to hear that,” he said. “As in, really glad to hear that.” He smiled. “Do you have those photos?”
“I do,” he said, and he downloaded them from his camera to the desktop.
When he brought them up, Jaden looked at them and frowned. “I see no change,” he said, disappointment settling into his heart.
Shane laughed. “That’s because this is the one we took last time,” he said. “Look at the first one, and here’s the one we just took.”
And, when he looked at it, he gasped. “Wow,” he said. He stared at the stark improvements in shock.
“That’s why we do before and after photos,” Shane said with a note of satisfaction. “You see your leg every day and aren’t really noticing the bigger changes over the weeks. You really have to understand how far you’ve come, and the only way to do that is to see where you were and compare it weeks later.”
“Well, I’m really glad to see this,” he said. “It makes a massive difference.”
“It absolutely does,” Shane said gently. “Now I suggest some swimming to work that leg a little bit more.”
“I’m all for that,” he said. “A little bit of swimming goes a long way in my world. Not to mention it makes my soul smile.”
“And that’s important too. So, go get changed, and I’ll meet you down there.”
“I thought you said we were done for today.”
“Nope, just done here, right now, and done with the walking. Now we’ll take the weight off and go work on those joints.”
It all made so much sense. It was quite amazing. And, with a happy and very full heart, Jaden headed back to his room to get changed.
Chapter 12
Brianna wasn’t trying to avoid Jaden, but neither was she working hard to search him out. She was still finding out
who she was right now. It was too new, too different still to come up against somebody who would notice. And yet, she could feel looks from a lot of various people as she walked around during her day. Again, she skipped lunch and headed out to the animals, not because she wanted to be alone but because she wanted to experience how different her view of the world was right now.
Even Mother Nature looked and felt different. It was so hard to describe, but like she’d been given a new lease on life. Everything smiled at her, and it felt wonderful. This was all just such an unusual feeling, and she didn’t quite know how to encapsulate it and verbalize it. But a lot of good things were happening inside.
As she walked back from her lunch, she headed straight to her office. When she got to Jaden at the end of the day, she knocked on his door, stepped inside, and said, “Hey.”
He looked at her in surprise. “Hey, stranger,” he said. “Are you okay?”
She chuckled, “Yeah. It’s just that things have been a little different, so I wasn’t too sure who and what I was there for a day or two. Then I had a couple really decent awakenings, and I’m wondering who I am now.” She laughed. A bright smile was on her face, and she knew that he was affected by it too because his smile was natural and happy as it came back to her.
“I like the sound of that,” he said, his smile still there.
She looked at him and motioned to his leg, then asked, “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing great,” he said. “Had another progress report with Shane, and I’m really getting there, so I couldn’t be more pleased.”
“Awesome,” she said. “Sometimes we just have to take some time in order to get to where we’re going.”
“And I think that’s really important,” he said, “but I’ve missed you.”
Her heart melted slightly. “I missed you too,” she said. “And thank you for giving me the space I needed.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m not sure that I gave it to you as much as you took it though.” And then he laughed. “And, yes, you are within your rights to do so.”
Instantly she regretted her radio silence over those days. “It wasn’t even that,” she said. “I certainly didn’t want you to feel like I had walked away. I didn’t want to push my negativity onto you as I made these fairly uneasy discoveries.”
“Got it,” he said. “Not to worry.”
She shrugged. “But I will worry,” she said, “because that’s partly who I am.”
He looked at her and chuckled. “And I have to admit, that’s a really nice thing about you,” he said. “You come from the heart.”
She smiled. “You up for dinner tonight?”
“You asking me on a date?” he said in a teasing voice.
She beamed. “And if I was?”
“Oh, I’d take you up on it in a heartbeat,” he said, chuckling. “So, the answer is, yes, absolutely on for dinner.”
“Good,” she said. She checked her watch. “I’ve still got paperwork to do until my shift ends. Then I need to get changed.”
“How about we meet outside the cafeteria a little bit after five, maybe five-fifteen?” he asked. “And, if we don’t want to eat right away, why don’t we grab coffee, sit on the deck, and just spend some time together?”
She flashed him a bright, warm smile and said, “Thank you. I’d really like that.”
Her tone definitely held a lightness to it. Jaden wondered at that. Had it just been his imagination? He had had a jam-packed afternoon, and, by the time he finally rolled back to his room, he felt fairly unsettled himself. A doctor’s appointment, lab tests, blood tests, and then, of course, the inevitable shrink visit. He didn’t know why he had to keep going. To him, each visit was the same, just on repeat.
“How’s the relationship with Brianna going?” the doctor had asked.
Jaden shrugged and said, “It’s a great friendship, and it’s helping to keep me centered.”
“Interesting comment.”
“No,” he said, “don’t analyze it. It just is.”
She chuckled. “Glad to hear that,” she said warmly. “And glad that Brianna is settling in on her own.”
“Exactly,” he said. “If nothing else, you really want to have her stay here because she’s good for us all.” The doctor nodded, but an odd look had been in her gaze. He shook his head. “Why? Don’t you like her?”
She looked at him in surprise. “Absolutely I do. I just wondered how she was settling in and if she was enjoying her time here. Might have to stop and talk to her about it.”
That bothered him because he was afraid he’d started something. “Just that I’d prefer you didn’t after talking to me,” he said. “I wouldn’t want her to think we were talking about her.”
“Of course not,” the doctor said.
Even as he left her office and rolled his way to his room, he realized that he still felt a little uneasy. And then he saw Shane, standing outside his doorway, staring at Jaden in his wheelchair. “I was tired,” he said instantly.
Shane nodded slowly, but it was obvious he didn’t believe him.
“Fine,” Jaden said. “I was rushing because I was late, and I figured this was easier.”
“Don’t make a habit of it,” Shane warned.
“I won’t,” he said, and he wheeled into his room, deliberately closing the door behind him. Only then did he allow himself to relax. “Thank heavens for having a room to myself,” he muttered. He rolled over to the bed and got out, then gently crawled up on the bed and stretched out onto his back. For a place where he was supposed to be alone, a lot of the time just so much went on in his life. He had to wonder if that had an effect on somebody’s healing. Of course he was healing and doing just fine, and this was a marathon, not a sprint. He had to remember that.
He didn’t know why he kept going back to the wheelchair, except that it was easy. And he still felt more uncomfortable on his leg than off. But he’d have to remember to take his crutches tonight because, if Shane saw him again in the chair, Shane would probably question what Jaden was doing. Even he couldn’t quite understand it himself. It was just part and parcel, that whole everything in a state of flux thing.
He browsed the internet for a while, wasting time, until he would meet up with Brianna. He changed into a clean shirt and shorts and grabbed his crutches. He opened the door and slowly made his way to the cafeteria. In the dining room, he saw her standing off to the side, talking to a few people. He didn’t know those people, but she talked in a bright voice. Which was fascinating. So she really was working on taking down her walls. He nodded. Good for her.
Part of the problem with crutches was it was almost impossible to grab a coffee or a tray or anything while his hands were otherwise occupied. He really hated using the crutches at mealtimes, finding them much more of an obstacle than the wheelchair. As he frowned at the coffee service area, Dennis came up and said, “If looks could burn, you would have exploded all these coffeemakers immediately. What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong,” he said, “is the wheelchair is easier, but I came on my crutches.”
“Ah, Shane has got you relegated more on the crutches now, has he? That’s a positive sign.”
“Maybe, but it’s much harder to get what you need here.”
“So, tell me what you want,” Dennis said, always agreeable. “And I’ll carry it for you.”
“But you shouldn’t have to,” he snapped. Then he took a slow breath and said, “Sorry. You’re not the reason I’m pissed.”
“Nope, I’m not,” Dennis said. “You’re pissed at yourself because you expect more from yourself. Just be patient. Give it some time, and you’ll get there.”
Jaden groaned. “It seems like you’ve seen so many of us that it’s like we all go through the same stages.”
“Well, I think most of you do share a lot of the same stages but not always at the same time or in the same order or in the same way,” he said. “It depends on your own healing and your own body. But there�
��s no point in grumbling about it.” He poured him a cup of coffee and asked, “Are you waiting for dinner or do you want a treat?”
“You had these monster cookies at some point in time,” he said. “Do you have any more of those around?”
“I sure do,” he said. “Here, grab this, and I’ll get you one.” He handed him the cup of coffee and then took off into the back. The trouble was, Jaden was awkwardly placed. He shuffled ever-so-slightly, keeping the coffee steady while using his crutches. And then he realized it just wasn’t working well. But still, he managed to get out of the way and into a corner, waiting on Dennis or Brianna to find him. Just as Dennis came back, Brianna saw him and detached herself from the group and came toward him.
“May I help you with that?” she said with a heartfelt smile.
“I’ve got it,” he said, his heart sinking in frustration.
She nodded and, without saying a word, went and poured herself a cup of coffee.
When Dennis came back, holding a monster cookie, she rejoined Jaden, checked out the cookie, then looked at Jaden, and asked, “Are you going to share that?”
“Nope,” he said, but his surly attitude was gone, and he was happily teasing her. “You can ask Dennis for one of your own.”
Dennis chuckled as he pulled out a second cookie.
She rolled her eyes and told him, “You can tell how much a guy likes somebody when he won’t even share his cookie.”
“Cookies are sacred,” Jaden announced. “Now, how about I carry the cookies, and you carry the coffees?”
They quickly swapped out what they were carrying so he had the two big cookies, as they moved slowly out to the deck.
“It’s good to see you on crutches,” she said, once they both sat down and got settled.
“Maybe,” he said, “but I feel much more awkward and like I can’t maneuver anywhere near as easily as I think I should.”
“You probably felt that way about the wheelchair originally too.”
