by Stella Clark
With just the first page of his letter, Alex earned Sadie’s interest and respect. She thought Alex sounded like a hard-working man of genuine commitment and deep loyalty. She read the rest of the letter fervently.
My daughter has the security and protection of a loving father. Her grandmother does a wonderful job of caring for her, but that can never compensate for Maggie’s loss of her mother. I don’t want Maggie to grow up without a mother to show her the ways a strong, loving mother relates to her child and to her husband. I am a devoted family man with an incomplete family. These are the reasons I seek a loving relationship with a woman who is prepared to be a part of our family.
Sadie replied to Alex’s letter immediately.
Dear Alex,
I was greatly moved by your letter. It warmed my heart to read of your love for your dear baby girl and of your concern that she grow up knowing the love and care of an attentive mother. I was equally happy to read that you seek a woman who will also be a loving wife. I can assure you that I aspire to both roles.
I miss my sister terribly, and I believe losing her still affects me so deeply at least in part because I related to her more as a mother than as an older sister during the last two years of her life. For that reason, I am certain my love and affection for Maggie will happen quite naturally if she and I come to know one another. However, I think only time and more letters will tell whether you and I can share those precious emotions as man and wife.
More information about your goals and aspirations will be helpful to me, of course. But I am also interested in learning why you loved your late wife so deeply and why you miss her so much. That information will be a great help to me in knowing whether we can relate to one another closely in the near term, with the hope of one day loving each other for the rest of our lives.
Please kiss Maggie for me, say hello to your mother, be safe and well, and write again soon!
You are all in my prayers,
Sadie
Sadie carefully folded the letter, inserted it into an envelope addressed to Alex, sealed it, and applied a stamp. Then she said a brief prayer asking Jesus to keep Alex and his family healthy and safe, help the letter reach him quickly, and prompt him to reply soon.
Look at me, Sadie thought to herself with a slight smile, praying regularly to a God who, until recently, I was convinced did not answer prayers like He promised in the Bible.
Before falling asleep that night, Sadie asked herself what had so dramatically changed her attitude about prayer. She believed it was the positive direction her correspondence with Alex had taken so far. She found that easier to believe than the possibility that luck alone had made the difference.
What else can explain the compatibility I so quickly felt with Alex’s situation and values? How mysterious it is to me that I feel such a strong connection with the author of the only ad I answered, Sadie thought as she drifted off to sleep.
***
Over the next several months, Sadie and Alex exchanged more letters. They shared their hearts, hopes, and fears more openly. Two weeks after Thanksgiving, a letter from Alex arrived containing a proposal of marriage, a train ticket to St. Louis, and more than enough money to pay the stagecoach fare for the rest of Sadie’s trip. It was short and to the point.
My dearest Sadie,
I will be the happiest man on earth, and Maggie will be the luckiest baby girl in New Mexico, if you agree to be my wife. Please say you will! If you do, I promise to work hard to make you forever glad you did. I pray you will quickly sell all you don’t wish to bring with you and come to me the moment you are able. I look forward to your answer with deep love and great hope in my heart.
All my love,
Alex
Sadie accepted Alex’s proposal the moment she read it. She’d hoped for such a letter for a couple of months by the time it had arrived. She had even begun thinking about which items she would sell, which she’d give away, and what she would take to her new home.
She quickly sold her bed, table, and chairs to neighbors, along with her last few blankets and rugs. Sadie had stopped weaving new ones two months earlier and had begun working on a blanket for Maggie instead. She had decided early in her communications with Alex to create a beautiful blanket for his baby girl whether or not she ever met her. Sadie was excited to know she would soon present the pale blue and pink blanket to Maggie in person.
The day after Alex’s proposal arrived, Sadie purchased another used trunk to carry her clothes and the one family picture she had. She also carefully tucked her father’s firearms and her mother’s Bible inside. The pellet gun went to the neighbors for their ten-year old son. She wrapped the best firearm in the one blanket she’d kept … the one her mother had started.
Early on the morning of Monday, December 9th, a friend loaded Sadie’s two trunks into his buggy and helped her climb aboard for the short ride to the train station. By 8:00 a.m., she had settled into her seat. Ten minutes later, her long journey to New Mexico began with two blasts of the train’s whistle just before the conductor standing outside her car shouted, “All aboard!”
Chapter Five
Shortly after the train rolled out of Philadelphia headed to Baltimore, Sadie looked up to see a distinguished-looking porter approaching.
“Good morning, ma’am,” the porter said cheerfully. “My name is Jess. I’ll be your porter on this trip. A light breakfast of eggs, toast, biscuits, and muffins, and your choice of coffee, tea, or juice, will be available in the dining car beginning from 8:30 to 9:30. Lunch begins at noon and ends at 1:30 p.m. Please don’t hesitate to call upon me if there’s anything I can do for you in the meantime. And how should I address you?”
“Why thank you, Jess,” Sadie said. “My name is Sadie Beckman. I think I’d prefer a nap instead of breakfast. Can you please show me to my sleeping compartment?”
“I’d be happy to, Miss Beckman,” Jess answered. “Please follow me.”
Sadie sprang from her seat and collected her blanket roll from the overhead shelf. Sadie thought of how odd a sight it must be as she carefully manipulated it past other passengers in the aisle as she followed the porter. She smiled at the thought of what they would think if they knew it contained a polished and oiled firearm. But Sadie was confident no one would ever guess such a thing.
“Your compartment is right here, Miss Beckman,” Jess said, opening the curtain to the lower berth on the left. “You can safely leave your personal items here. A porter is always nearby and at your service should you need anything during the night.”
“Thanks again, Jess,” Sadie answered. “I’m going to try to nap until lunchtime. In the unlikely event that you don’t see me by noon, could you please stop by and make sure I’m awake?”
“I’ll be happy to, Miss Beckman,” Jess said. “Sleep well until then.”
Sadie slipped into the lower berth and placed her blanket roll between her body and the wall. She worried the motion and noise of the train would keep her awake. But she was asleep in minutes and slept for nearly three hours, totally unaware of the half-hour stop in Baltimore. Sadie awoke as the train slowly steamed into Washington, D.C., to pick up more passengers.
“Oh my,” Sadie said with a yawn and a stretch as she sat up in her berth and bright sunlight washed through the curtain she had pulled over her small window. Nudging the heavy fabric aside with a finger, she squinted out into the bright early afternoon sunlight. Sadie could see a large flock of Canadian geese flying west above the trees. She figured they were headed to the Potomac River winding its way south a half mile west of the tracks. The sight made her think of her father, who had once told her that before he married and moved to Philadelphia, he’d often hunted Canadian geese. The sight of the large flock invigorated her, and she suddenly felt hungry. She pulled on a light sweater, ran a brush through her hair, and headed to the dining car.
“Good afternoon, Miss Beckman,” Jess said as he stepped aside for her in the aisle with a bright smile and held th
e vestibule door open for her to cross into the next car forward. “If you are headed to the dining car, you have plenty of time to enjoy a nice lunch.”
“That’s where I’m headed, Jess,” Sadie answered. “Thank you very much.”
She found a table with a large window in the dining car and ordered a bowl of chicken noodle soup with fresh, warm pumpernickel bread and butter. The meal warmed and satisfied her as she took in the expansive view of the grounds stretching east as far as she could see. Each street that the train crossed seemed to be bustling with carriages, buggies, and folks on foot hurrying this way and that. The city was alive, and Sadie felt it was bringing her to life as well.
I’ve been asleep a long, long time, Sadie thought to herself, long before I ever boarded this train. And all the while, this beautiful country was waiting for me to awake.
Well, she thought as she sat up straight in her chair, I’m awake now and headed to a new life with a ready-made family and years ahead of me to share with them. I feel as though my life is finally beginning!
Just as Sadie was finishing her soup, the waiter set a small dish of shortbread cookies on the corner of her table.
“Why thank you,” Sadie said to him. “I’m afraid I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s James, Miss …” The waiter realized he did not know hers, either.
“I’m Miss Sadie Beckman, James,” she answered.
“Would you care for a cup of tea to enjoy with your cookies, Miss Beckman?” he asked.
“I would enjoy that very much, thank you,” Sadie replied.
Sadie ate two of the cookies and drank her cup of tea by the time a happy couple with a little girl sat at the table beside hers. She smiled brightly at the family and guessed the little girl was around a year and a half old … about Maggie’s age.
How wonderful it will be to care for and enjoy a child that age, she thought.
“I’m Sadie Beckman,” she said to the young couple. “It’s marvelous to see a young, happy family enjoying one another’s company on this trip.”
“We’re pleased to meet you, Miss Beckman,” the pretty wife and mother said and gave Sadie’s extended hand a squeeze. “I’m Gloria Frazier and this is my husband, William, and our daughter, Iris.”
“She’s such a pretty little girl,” Sadie said with thoughts of Maggie in her heart and mind.
“Thank you, Miss Beckman,” the mother said. “Would you like to hold her for a few minutes? It would be a help while we read the menu.”
“Oh, I’d love to!” Sadie gushed. “Will it be okay if I give her the small cookie I have left?”
“I bet you’ll win her heart with that,” the mother answered and handed Iris to Sadie.
Sadie’s heart filled to overflowing as she held the toddler with curly red hair in her arms. Memories of her sister and imaginings of young Maggie waiting for her out West washed over her. Tears of joy filled the corners of Sadie’s eyes as Iris took the cookie from her and immediately put it to her tiny mouth.
In just a few joyful minutes, Gloria took Iris back into her lap, and Sadie excused herself to spend some time in the observation car to the rear of the dining car.
Chapter Six
Sixteen hours later, Sadie’s train rolled into St. Louis. She was pleased to have time to enjoy lunch in the Union Station dining hall before she connected with a stagecoach to Springfield, where she spent the night. From there, another coach took her to Oklahoma City, where she connected with a final stagecoach to Las Cruces.
Sadie’s heart and mind churned with emotions, hopes, dreams, and questions the whole way.
Will Alex be as comfortable with our age difference once we meet as he said in his letters? she wondered. Will my age even matter if he’s more interested in having an attentive live-in nanny for Maggie rather than a loving wife?
And what am I really seeking? Sadie asked herself in her most reflective, vulnerable moments. Why do I fear that the dangers of Alex’s job could make me a widowed mother in the blink of an eye? Does my fear for my own welfare mean I don’t love him as much as I should?
Sadie weighed these questions in a defensive mode. She understood that being Alex’s second wife would be very different from being his first. Alex and his first wife had discussed whether he should run for sheriff or take a less-dangerous job. He and Sadie had not. Nor had they discussed where they would live. The long trip helped Sadie decide that she really didn’t care about any of that. And as her train rolled into the Las Cruces station, the things she did know mattered the most to her. And as was her new habit, she prayed for those things.
I’ve known enough loneliness, Sadie reminded herself. I am done living my life without purpose. I want to share it with people I care about and who care about me. I want all that Alex and his family have to offer. And I will give them all the love I have to offer in return.
Inside the station, Sadie found both her trunks sitting together with her name in large print on tags hanging from their handles. She wondered what folks would think if they knew one of them held her firearms. As she signaled a baggage handler for help with the trunks, a pleasant-looking older woman pushing a baby buggy approached and asked, “Are you Miss Sadie Beckman?”
“I am! And you must be Mrs. Wineland, Alex’s mother,” Sadie said cheerfully and gave the older woman an excited hug.
Sadie had not received a picture of Alex’s mother during their long correspondence. And she was thrilled to discover that the older woman looked very much as Sadie imagined she would. Mrs. Wineland stood barely five feet tall with a slight frame and silver-gray hair wrapped in a tight bun at the crown of her head, beneath a pillbox hat.
“And this must be the beautiful, precious Miss Maggie!” she gushed as she stepped around to the rear of the baby buggy for a good look. “Oh my word!” she exclaimed. “She’s so much bigger and even prettier than in the photograph that Alex sent me!”
“You definitely look prettier as well, my dear,” Mrs. Wineland said softly, “but there’s something I must tell you about the photographs you received.”
“Oh, there’s plenty of time for that,” Sadie said, almost breathless from the reality of finally meeting her soon-to-be family members. “Where’s Alex? Is he here? Is he waiting for us outside? Oh, I can’t wait to see him face to face!”
“Uhh, he’s attending to business in his office, my dear,” his mother told Sadie. “It’s only about a twenty-minute walk up Main Street from here. It’s a beautiful morning, and I thought the walk would be a terrific opportunity to talk a bit while also pointing out some of the more interesting shops and offices along the way. I hope you don’t mind the walk. I’ve arranged to have your trunks delivered to the house, which is just another short walk from Alex’s office.”
“Actually, I would love a walk, Mrs. Wineland,” Sadie replied. “I’ve sat for days and most of the time I was terribly uncomfortable. Lead the way. May I push Maggie?”
“Of course, my dear,” Alex’s mother answered.
She pointed out businesses that were likely to be of the most interest to Sadie as the two of them leisurely walked up Main Street. The older lady stopped frequently during their walk to provide more information than Sadie thought she could possibly remember. Sadie enjoyed the walk, but she quickly grew impatient with the frequent stops and simply could wait no longer to meet Alex.
“Mrs. Wineland, I’m sorry to ask that we take this tour sometime soon,” Sadie interjected. “And I don’t wish to sound unappreciative, but I really must see Alex! As my husband, he will no doubt have to endure my occasional interruptions when he’s at work, and he may as well begin getting used to them today.”
Sadie nearly regretted making the demand when she saw the older woman’s reaction. Alex’s mother looked crestfallen, as though Sadie had somehow greatly saddened her. Yet Sadie was adamant. Having met Maggie and Alex’s mother so quickly upon her arrival, Sadie insisted that she next had to meet Alex.
“Yes, you’re rig
ht of course, my dear,” the older woman said. “Please forgive me for the delay. It’s just that Alex and I are so proud of our town that I sometimes get carried away.”
“No apology is necessary, Mrs. Wineland,” Sadie quickly replied. “I can understand your pride. According to people I spoke with on my trip, Las Cruces is a town with a bright future. I’m sure that Alex has had a hand in its success.”
“I am afraid that an apology is necessary, dear one,” the older lady answered and asked Sadie to sit with her on a bench in front of a dry goods store. “Please give me a few moments to try to explain. Out of love and concern for my family’s happiness, I made what I now know were rash decisions that were not mine to make.”
Sadie sat quietly beside the older woman while people walked past on the wooden sidewalk. She had no idea what Alex’s mother was talking about but thought it best to give the older woman whatever time she needed to tell her what she seemed to be struggling mightily to put into words.
“Oh, I’ve made a mess of things,” Mrs. Wineland said with a deep sigh. “So much of a mess that I suppose the only way to explain it to you is to introduce you to Alex and see what happens next.”
The older woman suddenly sprang from the bench and headed up the street at a fast pace. As Sadie struggled to keep pace while being gentle with Maggie in the buggy, she thought to herself, Introduce me to Alex? Why does this woman think an introduction is necessary? She knows that Alex and I have been writing each other for months. We exchanged photographs, for goodness’ sake. And what does she mean by saying she will ‘see what happens next’?
