by Alicia Rades
6
I wrapped Jenna in my arms as worry for her knotted in my gut. “What happened?”
Jenna drew away from me and shook her head. She wiped the tears from her eyes, but they only kept coming. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
The door beside us opened, and Venn poked his head out. He looked to Jenna, then to me, as if to ask if she was all right. Jenna buried her face back in my shoulder as she sobbed. I just looked back at Venn hopelessly. I had no idea what was wrong, and it killed me that I couldn’t fix it.
“How’d the phone call go?” I asked him.
“I’m closer to finding out where Tyson might be,” Venn said softly. “Do you two want some privacy?”
Venn opened the door wider and stepped out of the way. “I’ll go help Fiona.”
“Thanks,” I told him.
Venn placed a kiss on my forehead as he passed, then continued on down the hall. He threw back several worried glances before he finally disappeared.
“Jenna,” I whispered, “let’s go sit down in my room.”
She didn’t move until I began guiding her. I closed the door behind us and led her across the room to the bed. We both sat, but she wouldn’t lift her gaze. She buried her face in her hands and continued crying.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” I asked softly.
She sniffled, but otherwise didn’t respond. My guts twisted, and I was on the verge of crying myself. I hated seeing her like this.
I put my arm back around her. “Jenna Bean, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”
She finally lifted her head and dashed the tears away. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” I insisted. “Did Ronark hurt you?”
“What? No!” She sounded shocked. “No, he’d never touch me. It’s not like that.”
I frowned. “There are other ways to hurt a person.”
“No, look.” Jenna’s voice came out stronger. “We just had a fight. It wasn’t his fault.”
“What did you two fight about?” I asked, hoping she’d open up to me.
Jenna bit her lower lip. “I’m thirsty.”
I reached for my plastic water bottle on the nightstand and handed it to her.
“Thanks.” She opened the cap and threw her head back. I stared wide-eyed as she chugged the whole thing. She handed me back the empty bottle and sighed.
“Do you ever feel so thirsty it seems like you’re going to shrivel up and die?” she asked.
The question almost sounded rhetorical, but I considered her words. The last few days, I’d felt parched beyond belief, no matter how much water I drank. Most of the time, I tried to ignore it. It was probably just from stress or something. But now that she pointed it out, I couldn’t take my mind off how dry my throat felt.
Jenna looked at me with sad eyes. “You’ve been feeling it, haven’t you?”
“A little,” I admitted.
“Now imagine that, only a hundred times worse,” she said. “It feels like I’ve spent a year crawling through the desert with nothing but sand to satiate me. It won’t be as bad for you since you were only fed on a few times. But for me… for Ronark… it’s unbearable.”
Jenna ran her fingers over her neck as it dawned on me what she was saying.
“This is what the addiction feels like?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
Vampire feedings were addictive, far beyond that of most street drugs. After just a few seconds of being fed on the first time, I already wanted more. But it wasn’t enough for withdrawals to set in. But now, after being fed on several times while I was held prisoner on Gregor Island, I was starting to feel it. That was how fast the addiction set in. I couldn’t imagine what Jenna and Ronark were feeling right now, not after being fed on night after night for years.
It was a cruel side effect of the vampire curse. If their victims left, they’d feel just how the vampires felt without blood. It created a dependency between the two of them and ensured the vampires would always have a fresh supply of blood.
It didn’t matter that they didn’t exist anymore. The effects of their feedings lived on. If we’d destroyed all the drugs in the world, addicts would still come looking for more. It was just like that.
“I used to think being fed on was one of the worst things that could happen to me,” Jenna said without meeting my gaze. She looked so out of it that it was like she wasn’t even talking to me. “Now I know that there are worse things out there.”
“Jenna…” I didn’t know what I could possibly say to her. My heart broke into a million pieces to watch her break apart like this. My throat began to close up, as if someone was squeezing my neck with a rope. The invisible force tightened with each passing second. “That’s not true. You hated being fed on. I saw it in your eyes every night you returned from a feeding.”
“I did,” she admitted. “But it was better than this. At least with Silas I felt like I controlled myself in my own skin. Now there’s just this… this thirst. I can’t stop thinking of my master. I just want him to bite me again, to take this agony away from me.”
It would be nice. Just one more wave of euphoria to take away the cravings. The sight of Valkas’s fangs flashed through my mind.
What the hell was I thinking?
“Look at me.” I grabbed Jenna’s face and forced her gaze to mine. “People have gotten through this before. You can, too.”
Jenna shied away from me, and tears began to fall down her face again. “I don’t know that I can, Rachel. You don’t actually know anyone who’s overcome it.”
“I do,” I told her sternly.
Her eyebrows shot up, but her expression quickly fell. “I guess they were stronger than I am.”
“Don’t say that, Jenna.” I reached out for her, but she shrugged me off.
“You don’t understand. The one person who would understand—who I thought I could talk to about this—is being an asshole!” Jenna shouted the last few words to make sure Ronark would hear through the wall.
“Please calm down,” I begged. “This isn’t you talking.”
She raked her fingers through her hair, making it stick up at all angles. “Sure it is. The withdrawals are just giving me the courage to say it.”
“Look, you and Ronark are both irritable because of this, but you can break through it,” I assured her. “What happened to positive Jenna from the island? Don’t you remember what you told me? You can’t change your circumstances, only what you do about them. You can get through this.”
Jenna curled her knees to her chest and turned away from me on the bed. Hopelessness sank in my gut. What could I possibly say to help her at a time like this?
“That’s not helping, Rachel,” Jenna mumbled. “You must’ve forgotten the other thing I said to you.”
I scooted closer to her. “What was that?”
“It only takes one thing to set us back ten paces. But this… this is like a hundred steps back.” Jenna threw herself onto the mattress and buried her face in the pillow. “I don’t think I have another hundred paces left in me.”
Her shoulders began to shake, and in that moment, I knew there was nothing I could possibly say to her. The only thing I could do was show her that I was here for her, that she didn’t have to go through this alone.
I lay down and wrapped an arm around her. She curled into me as tears began to soak my shirt. I didn’t know how long we lay there like that, but it didn’t matter. I’d sit beside Jenna until the end of time if I thought it would help make her feel better.
Jenna went still, and I thought she’d fallen asleep. I continued to brush my fingers through her hair because I couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep, in case she needed me. Eventually, she stirred, and she drew away from me.
“Feeling any better?” I asked.
Jenna shook her head. “Not really.”
“Maybe you need to take your mind off it,” I suggested. “Do something to make you forge
t.”
She frowned. “Like what?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. What’s something fun we used to do as kids?”
Jenna thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know. Tell scary stories?”
I bit the inside of my lower lip. “That’s a little too real right now.”
She frowned. “You’re right. Honestly, it’s late. Everyone’s asleep. We should probably get to bed, too.”
My eyes scanned the room, searching for ideas on how to get her mind off the cravings. I sat upright in bed when my gaze hit the nightstand and I remembered the flashlight I’d found in the top drawer. I reached over and threw the drawer open, then held up the flashlight for her to see.
“You sure it’s too late for some fun?” I grinned.
Jenna’s lips turned up into a half-smile, which I found encouraging.
“Come on,” I pressed when she didn’t answer. “It’ll be fun.”
“Okay,” she caved. “Hold on.”
Jenna jumped out of bed and hurried out the door. I followed. She entered her guest room beside mine and flipped the light on. Ronark rolled over in bed and threw his arm over his eyes.
“I thought you were mad at me,” he complained in a tired voice.
“Get up, sleepyhead.” She tugged at his feet under the covers. “We’re going outside to have some fun, and I’m not going without you.”
“What are you talking about?” he groaned.
“You. Me. Right now. Under the stars.”
Ronark glanced to me, as if searching for an explanation.
I beamed at him. “We’re going star-tipping!”
7
A few minutes later, Ronark was dressed, and the three of us were headed toward the back door. I caught sight of Fiona and Venn still flipping through books in the room off the main hall.
“Hey.” I popped my head in the room. “You two up for a little adventure?”
Fiona shot a quick glance to Venn, suddenly looking more awake. “What kind of adventure?”
“Just a little game Jenna and I used to play as kids,” I said. “You up for it?”
Fiona shrugged and stood. “I’m up for anything.”
Venn looked tired, but he joined her. “What are we doing?”
I smiled. “Star-tipping.”
Fiona hopped. “Ooh, sounds like fun! I’m going to see if Ryland and Teagan want to join us.”
Venn followed me out the back door. “What’s star-tipping?”
“It’s simple,” I explained. “One person looks up at the sky. You focus on a star, then spin around in a circle in the dark. After a few seconds, another person will shine the flashlight at you. That’s your cue to stop spinning and start running toward the light. You get so disoriented that you can’t help but fall over. It’s hilarious.”
We stepped out into Genevieve’s back yard. It was dark, with only a soft glow from the city illuminating shadows around the yard. There was a high fence around the perimeter, which met up with a thick line of trees. Various trees and flowerbeds dotted the landscaped yard. In the farthest back corner was a brick fire pit with patio chairs all around it. The rest of the yard was wide open.
“I’ll go first!” Jenna offered, looking excited.
She turned her head to the sky and spread her arms out wide, then spun around as fast as she could. I clicked on the flashlight and shone it in her eyes. She didn’t make it another step before she stumbled to the side and fell to the ground, laughing hysterically.
“Oh my God!” she cried between laughs. “I forgot how fun that was. Ronark, you go!”
Ronark looked reluctant, but he uncrossed his arms and took Jenna’s place. He spun around, then came the light. Ronark tried to stay upright as he moved toward it, but he stumbled with each step. It was like watching him fall to the side in slow motion.
“Oh, fuuu—!” he shouted.
When he landed on the ground, Jenna rushed over to him to try to drag him to his feet, but he was laughing too hard to stand.
“Okay,” he said through laughs. “I get it now. I’ve never felt that dizzy in my life. It’s a bit of a rush. Venn, you should try it.”
Venn glanced to me.
“Go ahead,” I encouraged. “It doesn’t hurt to have a little fun.”
Venn sighed and stepped forward to the middle of the open lawn. “Okay, here goes nothing.”
He spun faster than Jenna or Ronark did, and I let him go a little longer than the other two. When I clicked the flashlight on, his arms went still out on either side of him, like he was trying to stay balanced, but it didn’t work. As the world spun around him, he tried to correct it with his footing, which only sent him tumbling to the ground. His laughter filled the yard.
I shoved the flashlight in Jenna’s hands and ran over to Venn. Before he could get to his feet, I threw myself on top of him and held him down with a kiss. His laughter instantly died, and he relaxed into it. For the first time in what felt like weeks, the tension melted out of my body. For just tonight, I wanted to forget about Matias—about magic, vampires, all of it. For just one moment, I wanted to act like a normal girl with normal friends and without any cares in the world.
“Get a room!” Teagan’s voice called from toward the house.
I drew away from Venn, blushing. He smiled back at me.
“Forget her,” he said as he dragged me back to him. I wanted to kiss him back, but I could hardly manage it through the giggles.
“See?” I said when we finally parted. “It’s fun, isn’t it?”
Venn nodded as he gazed at me with soft eyes that melted my heart.
“My turn!” Fiona hurried across the lawn to Ronark and Jenna, who had moved to another area of lawn to star tip.
I lifted my head to see that she’d rounded up Ryland, Teagan, and Sondra. The three were already gathered around the fire pit, and Ryland was starting a fire. Sondra sat in one of the patio chairs and pulled out her sketch pad.
“Hey, Tea!” Venn called over to her. “You should try star-tipping. You’ll love it.”
“Nah,” she replied as she snuggled up beneath a long cardigan beside Sondra. “I’m good. You go have fun.”
“Her loss,” I said as I got to my feet. I reached out my hand and helped Venn up. “Want to go again?”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
Venn and I joined the others. Fiona had managed to stay upright for a few steps before she fell onto all fours and tried to stand up again. This time, she totally fell on her ass. She blinked a few times to get the world to focus again. I clutched my stomach as I burst into laughter.
“Whoa!” She shook her head. “That was not what I expected at all. That was fun.”
It was my turn next. I turned my chin toward the sky and focused on the brightest star I could see. I held my arms out and spun… and spun… and spun. I was already laughing. It felt so carefree, like being a kid again.
Suddenly, a bright light cut through the darkness, and the whole world flipped upside down. I couldn’t tell where my friends were standing, only that my feet felt as if they were no longer on the ground. The ground flew up to meet me, and though my body had stopped moving, it still felt as if the world was spinning around me. Only a moment later did I realize that I’d fallen over, as if some invisible force had taken over my body for a moment.
Fiona barked in laughter, and I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t hear anyone else. Venn tried to drag me to my feet, but I was still a little dizzy that I stumbled against him.
“My turn again!” Jenna volunteered, shoving the flashlight into Ronark’s hands.
This went on for what felt like another half hour. Eventually, I went so many times that it started to lose its effectiveness. Venn and I agreed we were done and went to sit by the other three near the fire. The fire was warm and inviting, but not as inviting as Venn’s arm around me.
“What’s going on over here?” I asked as we sat.
“Telling embarrassing stories,” Te
agan said. “And trying not to fall asleep.”
“You can go to bed if you’re tired,” Venn offered.
Teagan shook her head. “No, you guys are all having fun. I want to be out here by you. It’s been a long time since I heard you all laugh.”
“Hey,” Ryland said. “I laugh all the time.”
Teagan rolled her eyes. “Yeah, babe. At other people’s expense.”
Ryland propped his feet up on the chair beside him. “Not my fault if other people’s misfortunes make me laugh.”
Teagan shook her head at him. “Why do you have to be such an ass all the time?”
“You didn’t think I was being an ass earlier when we were—”
“Oh, God!” Teagan threw her hands over her ears. “People do not need to know what we were doing.”
Venn scoffed. “Because we don’t have any idea what you two do in your alone time.”
“Well, you certainly don’t need the details!” Teagan cried.
Venn shot Ryland a glance. “Trust me, Tea. I already know more than I care to admit.”
Teagan’s jaw dropped, and she widened her eyes at Ryland. “What did you tell him?”
Ryland rolled his eyes. “Relax. It’s not like the tattoo on your ass is a secret. I personally find it sexy.”
“You have a tattoo?” I asked.
Teagan looked embarrassed. “I got it when I was sixteen. It’s just a heart on my right hip. It’s nothing. Can we drop it?”
Respecting her privacy, I leaned over to Sondra beside me. “What are you sketching?”
Sondra snapped out of her daze to look at me. She quickly flipped the sketchpad shut before I could catch a glimpse of the picture inside. “Oh, it’s nothing. I thought I’d draw you guys having fun, but…”
She didn’t finish her sentence. I had no idea what she was about to say, but she never got the chance to finish.
Teagan quickly came to her rescue. “So, have you ever thought of getting a tattoo, Rae?”
I shrugged. “I used to think about getting a raven tattooed on my wrist, but then I realized it was a little conceited and obvious. I mean, I didn’t want to be walking around advertising I was the Ravenite. The government still doesn’t know I’m a shifter, so it’s probably best if it stayed that way.”
