“What are we going to do now,” asked Matt, “with both of them gone?”
“We can start by saying a prayer for daddy and hope he’s in heaven,” said Amelia, “I feel so upset as if were all my fault. If I could have pulled him out, if only, I had remembered the switch sooner,” she said sobbing. “It was so rusty, I couldn’t pull it down,” she covered her face with her hands and wailed.”
Both boys came over to her and they all hugged. Roger said, “Amelia you did everything you could. It was already too late, when you heard the first scream, the woodchipper is powerful enough to cut a six inch branch into small wood chips so there was nothing you could really do. Daddy must have gotten his ponytail caught in the chipper somehow, and it’s so powerful it sucked him right in.”
“I know, I just wanted to get him out of there,” she said, with tears sliding down her red and swollen face.
They were all crying and then sat in silence for a while. After a time, Roger said, “I was so happy. I was going to tell all of you on Sunday that Deana and I are going to get married soon. I wanted to bring her here to live. I was going to ask daddy’s permission, now I guess I’ll ask you two.”
“Roger I’m happy for you, I like Deana,” said Amelia, “I don’t mind at all.”
“OK by me,” said Matt.
“I think if we use our heads and all stick together, we will be able to make it, maybe we can get daddy’s brother, Uncle Clyde, to give us a hand to get everything on track. He would probably give us some help if we need it, other than that it’s simply a lot of hard work.”
Secret thoughts: (I know this is such a selfish thought but at that moment, all I can think of is that we are all alone now and my hope of going to college is now definitely gone, no more than a dream. I will never get to college, not for a very long time, if ever, I might as well face it. I must help my brothers now. We all have to stick together, if we are to survive, we only have each other now. In my deepest soul I wonder if daddy was so preoccupied with what he was doing because he was thinking of my mother and what she said, that he got careless.)
Henry was laid to rest on Saturday. They buried him on the farm at the edge of the field. Only a few people attended, Dad’s brothers and their families who live far away, a few people from town, some neighbors, and Ida came to the service. They couldn’t get in touch with Jerry they really didn’t know where he was, Amelia sent a letter to the APO box they had for him but got no response. Roger waited for what the minister thought was a reasonable time and then he and Deana got married in a small, quiet, ceremony with only family. They went away for that weekend for their honeymoon and then on Monday, Deana moved to the farm. They took what used to be their parents’ bedroom downstairs. Amelia saw Ida only briefly now, because there was so much to do. Ida gave her words of encouragement and told Amelia to come by anytime she could, sometimes she came to see Amelia.
Amelia and Deana got along very well, she was a few years older than Amelia, and although they were not in the same class, went to the same high school. She and Roger seemed so happy being together and Matt liked Deana too. But it was not a happy time. Uncle Clyde, Henry’s brother came and stayed to work with them for a few weeks until he was sure they would be able to manage the farm. Slowly it was all coming together.
“One evening at supper Uncle Clyde said, “I have to get back to my own place soon, if you need anything or if a problem comes up that you can’t handle, give me a call. I’ll see if we can work it out on the phone. If not, I’ll come back down to see what we can do. Don’t spend any more money on that old pick up your father drove, it’s about to fall apart and you would be throwing good money after bad. You have three good working pickups and a stake body truck that should hold you for now, remember as your dad always said changing the oil is the life of a vehicle. The money from the crops you sold will be tight for a while, but if you watch every penny you will be able to make it. I think you should leave the construction work alone for a while, at least, after you get the hang of running the farm, then you could think of going back to it. Meantime be certain all the construction equipment is kept clean and well-oiled and start it up at least once a month to keep the seals from drying out. Your father had a good reputation for maintaining the equipment well. That will help if you ever sell it. Good luck to all of you.” He hugged each one.
“Remember I’m just a phone call away so if you get in trouble don’t wait call me and I will come to you. He got in his truck and left.
[ Chapter 9 ]
Amelia wrote to Chad and told him about her father. She told him about how she tried to help and pull him out but couldn’t and how horrible it was. She told him she still cried for him almost every night. He wrote back and told her so was so brave and he knew she did all she could. I wish I could have been there for you, wrote Chad.
Farm work is demanding and must be done each day. Although they made mistakes, they were all willing to work hard. They had food on the table and ate together every night, they missed their father and mother, but they were surviving. Deana was a great asset to the family she worked hard along with the rest of them and ran a vegetable and fruit stand during the warm months. Deana’s family tried to help out as much as they could but were busy with their own farm.
Amelia couldn’t believe it was almost time to go back to school. The summer had gone by so fast. She was looking forward to school, she had a little spare time now that Deana helped with the chores and cooking, but when school started that would end. They would close their vegetable stand and Amelia was only able to stop to visit Ida a few times a month.
Ida commiserated with Amelia about the loss of her dad and not being able to go to college and said, “It may all seem impossible now, but don’t forget about going to college all together, hold on to your dream and maybe somehow you can still go.”
“I don’t know how. Money is tight and I wouldn’t be able to leave my brothers and Deana. I know how hard it was for me to do all the chores and make meals and do all of the housework by myself, I don’t think I could let Deana do that all alone,” said Amelia.
“I know honey, but let’s stay optimistic and keep trying to find a way. “Let’s not give up. We have your whole senior year to work on this. You can at least apply to some colleges and see if you get accepted,” said Ida, don’t lose hope.
“I’ll try and stay positive,” said Amelia, “I hope a college will accept me.” As she walked down the yard to the truck, she turned to wave to Ida one last time and said, “Please say hello to Chad for me when you email him, I love reading his letters. He is always so encouraging, I try to write to him, but sometimes I fall asleep before I finish the letter.”
“I will,” called Ida, “I’ll tell him when I email him later.” Ida wrote to Chad about Amelia’s problems. She described how she was trying to help her. Amelia has become so special to me, she wrote, and we are such good friends, the girl works so hard and never complains, she has such courage, I admire her so.”
Secret thoughts:( Ida is so sweet I think more of her than my own mother. When we work together or do homework, I pretended Ida is my real mom. I’m comfortable asking Ida questions about anything. Sometimes Ida is surprised that I have no knowledge of things every girl needs to know about life, men, marriage, and having babies. I know in her heart that my mother did not really take the time to care for me as she should have, but I could never say that to anyone out loud. Sometimes Ida asks, “Child didn’t you and your mom ever talk about these things?” At those times I’m embarrassed. Seeing Roger, Matt and Deana working so hard I know mom let them down too. The fact is that mom is not dead, and made a choice to leave us, is painful and humiliating. I think a lot about what mom said the night she walked out. She’s not yours. That sentence echos in my ears, when I’m in bed thinking of everything. I have decided I wouldn’t tell anyone about it, not even Ida. I got especially worried after taking biology and lear
ning about human reproduction. It seemed it is always in the back of my mind. How would I ever find out my real father’s identity? If I want to marry someday, would that man care if I didn’t know who my birth father is? I must tell no one.)
Around Christmas time, Amelia got acceptance letters from three colleges, one in Arizona, California, and Pennsylvania. The school in Pennsylvania also offered a scholarship. It was a small college, close to Philadelphia, the scholarship would take care of all her tuition; she would have to come up with money for room and board. She was so excited. She ran over to Ida’s the moment she opened the letters and they hugged and danced around. The elation lasted for about five minutes, and then Amelia said, “You know I can’t go, don’t you?”
“Why not?” Ida asked.
“I could never leave now it has gotten even more complicated, Deana’s going to have a baby.”
“Oh My God honey, I didn’t know that, that’s really wonderful that she’s having a baby, however it shouldn’t change the picture a bit. Maybe Roger could get someone in to help Deana out after the baby is born.”
“I’m sorry Ida I don’t think you understand. I don’t think Roger can do that. We are just now beginning to pay off what daddy owed on last year’s feed for the livestock. We must do that before they will give us anymore feed. Matt and I have been trying to find extra work doing construction. The problem is that I’m so busy with the farm chores in the morning and evening and I can’t do much because I’m in school all day. I have been thinking, Ida do you think if I dropped out of school, I could still go to college one day?”
“Amelia please don’t even consider that. I know you feel you must help your family, that’s not the way to do it. Think of it this way. If you go to college and get a good job, you would be able to help them more than if you just went to work. Don’t lose your dream, honey. Somehow things will work out and you will go to college one day. You and I will keep working on solutions to your problems let’s keep moving even if it’s slow going.”
“I’ll keep trying, maybe someday,” said Amelia, “when I’m older and maybe we could afford to hire a farmhand.”
Secret thoughts: (I’m going to hold on to my college acceptance letters. The letters said that I must respond by June of this year to have a space saved for me. I don’t think that is going to happen, but maybe, maybe, maybe. I will wish for a miracle.)
In February, they got a letter from Jerry. He said he was sorry he was not able to make it home for dad’s funeral. He would be coming home soon and was bringing his family. They were all thrilled. “Just think,” Said Roger, “two more pairs of hands to help us with the farm. I’m pretty sure we’re gonna make it now. Wee, thank God for small favors,” he laughed, “and just maybe Mellie, you might get to go to college, if everything works out.”
[ Chapter 10 ]
Roger and Deana went to the train station to pick up Jerry and his family. When they got off the train, Roger almost didn’t recognize Jerry. His hair was very long and pulled back in a tail and he had a mustache and beard. Jerry brought his wife, Rosalie, who spoke very little English, and two children, a small boy and a baby of about eighteen months.
Roger shook hands with his brother and introduced Deana as his wife.
Jerry said, “Well congratulations little brother, she’s a pretty little thing.”
“This here is my wife Rosalie, the little guy is Antonio and the baby is Damita.”
Knowing Jerry could not look like he did, and be in the military, Roger was curious about where he was and what he had been doing.
“What have you been up to Jerry,” asked Roger? “Where are you living?”
“Oh here and there, I got out of the military some time ago and wanted to see the rest of the world. By the time the mail caught up with me, it was too late to come home for dad’s funeral, so I thought I would come and see what was going on.”
“Let’s go home,” said Roger, “Amelia has a big meal cooked for us, as a homecoming for you and your family.”
Amelia had everything ready, she made a turkey and all the trimmings, after all she thought, this is almost like a holiday, getting a brother back.
“Goodness,” Amelia said out loud to Matt when she looked out the window and saw the group heading for the kitchen door. “What happened to Jerry? And who are the others?”
Roger opened the door and said, “It sure smells good in here, sis. Here’s our brother Jerry and his family.”
Jerry stepped forward and gave her a hug and kissed her cheek, he held her arms out and twirled her around, “Roger you didn’t say our little sister has grown up to become a beauty,” he said smiling.
Amelia blushed, “Oh you,” she said, shyly, “You always were a good liar.”
“This is Rosalie my wife and Antonio and Damita.”
“So nice to meet you,” said Amelia, “let’s sit down and eat before everything gets cold.”
After the meal Roger said to Jerry, “How long were you planning on staying?”
“I don’t know, I guess it depends on how things go. I think you could use the help here, am I right?”
“Yeah, you’re right,” said Roger, “we need another hand.”
“I don’t mean a hand,” said Jerry, “I mean I could be the foreman.”
“A foreman,” said Roger laughing, “There’s nobody to supervise except Matt and me and we have been working like dogs, so have Amelia and Deana.”
“Well let’s see how all this plays out,” said Jerry, “You know I was never much on farming, there should be some things I can do though.”
Amelia visited Ida only a few times after Jerry and his family got there. The first time was shortly after they arrived, and they were all happy that they would be getting two more people to help on the farm. Amelia said, “If it all works out and Jerry stays to help with the work, I might get to go to college yet.”
“I hope so,” said Ida, “because we have to submit your application soon to secure your spot.”
Jerry wanted to move into the downstairs bedroom that was Roger and Deana’s because it was the largest and the kids would sleep in there with them too. Roger agreed because he thought Jerry was going to help them on the farm and was happy to move.
For the first two weeks, Jerry sort of shadowed Roger and Matt and did some little things to help, like drive the truck and go after two stray cows, but not any real work. Rosalie didn’t do much to help the girls with the cooking or other housework or their outside chores. She stayed in the room with the children, sat, and drank coffee most of the day. She didn’t talk much as she spoke little English.
Amelia asked, Rosalie to peel potatoes for supper one evening and she gestured by looking at her manicured nails and shook her head no as if to say, “It would ruin my nails.” That really made Amelia very angry. She went out to the barn to find Roger and told him how outraged she was at that.
“Deana and I have been doing all the work and feeding everybody and yesterday we even watched the kids, while she and Jerry went into town. Today I asked her to peel some potatoes and she won’t even lift a hand to peel a potato.”
“Hold on Mellie,” said Roger, “this won’t last much longer. You know Jerry hates the farm they will be leaving soon.”
“I hope so,” said Amelia, “and I hope they don’t come back, I’m pretty sick of this and besides it’s expensive. Rosalie wants only fresh vegetables and meat, and Jerry wants beer all the time. We can’t go on like this much longer. Has he offered to pay you for anything?” Amelia asked.
“No,” said Roger, “in fact he borrowed twenty dollars from me to go into town. I will approach him this evening after supper and see if we can get something straight.”
“Jerry probably doesn’t feel like working at anything because he’s mostly hung-over, I know they have beer in their room every night, because I see the bottles when I take o
ut the trash,” said Amelia.”
That evening right before supper, Matt told Roger that the fence on the west side of the property was down and one of the cattle slipped through it and hurt its leg.
Roger asked Amelia to make sandwiches and coffee for him and Matt to take with them. They had to leave soon if they were to repair the fence and find the injured animal by dark. Jerry didn’t make a move to help.
Amelia hardly ever saw Ida. When she did, she filled her in on what was happening with Jerry.
“It’s so upsetting the way things have turned out, and we were so pumped that Jerry was going to help us with the work on the farm,” Amelia complained.
Ida hugged her and told her to come over anytime, she could get away and how much she missed seeing her.
On Tuesday, the mailman came and knocked on the door. “Hi,” said Amelia, “come on in Ben, what can we do for you?”
“I have a registered letter for your brother,” he said, “and someone needs to sign for it.”
“I see,” said Amelia, looking at the envelope, “It’s for Roger. Deana can sign for it.”
“OK,” said the postman.
Deana signed for the letter and put it on the desk in the kitchen, so Roger would see it when he got in. Roger was hot and dusty when he came home and went to take a shower, he didn’t notice the letter. They were eating supper as usual when Deana remembered the letter, got up, went over to the desk, and brought the letter to Roger.
“This came for you today, I had to sign for it,” said Deana.”
Secrets of Amelia Page 5
