by Jay Gill
“What was that, sweetheart?” asked Mum.
Faith went scarlet and closed her lips tighter than a seaside clam. She disappeared behind my back and hid her face.
The cat was out of the bag. It took Mum just a second to look at everyone’s face and realise she was the only one in the room who didn’t know. Then she went quiet and acted like it didn’t matter. She tried to smile. “You know, dear,” she said, turning to Dad, “we should leave this little family to it. I’m sure you all have a lot to talk about. We can catch up some other time. I’m so happy for you both, so happy.” She gave us all another round of hugs and kisses and then took Monica and me by the hands. “And you two, I want to hear all about these plans of yours just as soon as you’re ready.”
Dad got their coats and helped Mum into the car. Monica followed them out and stood by the car chatting with Mum through the open car window. I stayed back with Dad, who took me to one side.
“I’ll speak to your mother,” he said quietly. “Once she understands, she’ll be your biggest advocate for the move; we both know that. Soon as you can, pop around and put her mind at rest. It’s all coming together. Well done, son.”
Mum’s focus had always been on her family. First, it was just Dad and my brother and me, and then Faith and Alice, her granddaughters, had come along. It was also Mum who’d kept everything together when Helena died and our world fell apart. Now, finally, when our lives were seemingly back on track, it must have felt as though I was taking away the biggest part of her world.
The plan had gone smoothly up until now; it was a shame it had come out the way it had, but I suppose it had been unfair to ask Alice and Faith to keep such a big secret. Regardless, all I could do now was talk it through with Mum in a way she’d understand. In retrospect, I should have spoken to her earlier. I hadn’t anticipated news of our move slipping out, and now I’d hurt her. As ever, I had been in a hurry, and everything was happening so fast I hadn’t been thinking. So maybe, after all, this was one of those situations where not everyone was going to be happy. Not right away, anyway.
Chapter Sixty
Everything stopped. It was one of those moments when I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the last part of the sentence. For now, there were no reports of fatalities. All anyone knew was that a man matching Cutler’s description had been seen forcing his way into a house off Ealing Broadway.
I don’t remember the drive there. One moment I was at my desk hearing the news, and the next I was standing staring at the house just like every other officer called to the scene. I felt anger and fear in equal measure. On the one hand, I wanted to storm the house, and on the other, I wanted him to walk out peacefully, having harmed no one.
I ignored journalists calling my name. I could see officers looking at me expectantly. I could hear their mutterings and knew what they were thinking: What’s our next move? How’s he going to deal with this mess? Why aren’t we going in? Is he just going to let the Angel Killer massacre everyone inside? He’s lost it. The stories about Hardy must all be bullshit – look at him: he hasn’t got a clue what to do, has he? Did you hear we could have had this sick bastard? But Hardy messed up. His fat ego will probably get the mother and kids killed.
I walked to the nearest squad car, which was parked a short distance from the house. The road had been sealed off and the neighbouring houses evacuated. I took off my tie and jacket and placed them on the roof of the squad car, then rolled up my shirtsleeves. Behind me I heard a snigger.
Sergeant Murtagh came over to see what the plan was.
“Number 148?” I said.
“Yes, sir. Down there on the right. There’s a silver Toyota Yaris parked right outside. The house has one-four-eight in large white numbers just outside the door.”
Before he could say any more, I ducked under the police cordon and began walking to the house. At first, I heard gasps and murmurs, but as I got closer to the house I heard nothing. Only the thought in my head that I needed this situation to end quickly and peacefully.
There were children inside the house, children believed to be Cutler’s. His wife, who had tried to keep him out, was also inside. I had no idea what would happen next, and all I could think right now was that I had to speak to him. Going in alone was far from police procedure, but my logic was that if he was talking to me, he wasn’t slaughtering his family.
Chapter Sixty-One
I banged on the door. “Mr Michael Cutler, I’m Detective Chief Inspector James Hardy. I’d like to speak with you, please.” I pressed the doorbell and banged on the door again. “Michael, we need to talk. My name’s Inspector Hardy, James Hardy. We have to talk.”
I could see movement through a bay window.
“What do you want?” It was Cutler. I recognised his voice.
“We met at one of your Cassley Shoe stores. I need to come in and talk. I’d like to understand what’s going on.” I needed to get into the house and check on Cutler’s family. Their safety was my first priority.
“Why would I do that? If I open the door, you’ll storm the house with your team. I don’t think so. Talk to me from there.”
“I’m alone. You have my word. Let’s talk. At least give me the opportunity to hear your side of what’s happened here. I’m unarmed.” I lifted my arms and turned around on the spot. “See?”
It went quiet for a moment, and I got nervous. I started to wonder whether I understood the Angel Killer as well as I’d hoped I did.
“Michael? It’s important I see your family. It’s important I see for myself they are safe. Do the right thing. Let me in and let me see them.”
I stepped back, away from the door, and saw the curtain move. I guessed Cutler was checking for himself that I was alone. I hoped that was a good sign. A few seconds later, the door opened and I was face to face again with him. Only this time I saw him as the Angel Killer.
“Move,” he told me. I stepped over the threshold. “Wait. Now go through there.” Cutler waved a large kitchen knife and pointed it in the direction of a dining room. He locked the door behind us and followed me. “Sit.”
At a large dining table sat Cutler’s wife. Beside her and holding onto her arm was their older son, who looked to be about four years old. I did as I was told and took a seat, deliberately choosing one between Cutler and his family.
I looked at the boy. “Hello. My name is James, and I’m a policeman. I’m a friend of your daddy. Do you mind me asking what your name is?”
He squeezed his mother’s arm tighter and said nothing.
“I’m Melanie,” said the woman. “This is Danny. And his baby brother Zachary is upstairs sleeping. Second door on the right. My mother is locked in the upstairs bathroom; first door, top of the stairs.”
“Very good,” said Cutler. “Want to give him a grand tour of the house while you’re at it? Maybe draw him a picture?”
“Why don’t you just hand yourself in, you pathetic little man? Why can’t you see it’s all over? Can’t you get it through your thick skull? They know. They know you killed Patrick and that poor woman he was with.”
She leapt to her feet and started screaming at him. “They know – can’t you see that?” Danny began to howl with fear. “What are you, Michael, stupid? You’d have to be stupid if you thought killing him would impress me. Or that I’d fall into your arms again because Patrick was gone. He was a man. A real fucking man. He made me laugh, he made me feel sexy, hot. You? You, you pathetic piece of shit, need to curl up and die. I hope they lock you away for the rest of your fucking life. I never want to see your face again, ever. I never want you to come close to my children again. You hear me? Ever.”
I could see hurt on Cutler’s face. Whatever he’d done and whatever kind of man he was, I could see he had feelings of some kind for his wife and children.
He slumped down in a chair and stared at the floor. “I guess there’s nothing to talk about.”
He was still holding the knife, and I was concerned about what might hap
pen if he felt cornered, with no hope and nothing left to lose.
Chapter Sixty-Two
“Why don’t you let Melanie and the children go?” I said to him, keeping my voice calm. “Her mother too? Then you and I can talk.”
Cutler looked at his wife and then at his son. “Danny stays here. The rest can go.”
“No chance,” said Melanie. “I’m not leaving you with my son.”
“He’s my son too. You can either leave with your mother and baby Zachary or you can all stay. The choice is yours.”
“It would be best if they all left,” I said.
“No. Danny stays with me. It’s up to you,” repeated Cutler.
I wanted them all out, but this was a start. “I’ll look after Danny,” I said to Melanie. “He’ll be fine, I promise.” I looked at Cutler, and he nodded.
“You’ll be okay with Daddy, won’t you?” he said to Danny. “Mummy and Daddy are arguing, that’s all. You stay with me for a bit; watch your cartoons on Netflix. Just while I talk to this policeman.”
I could see the anguish on Melanie’s face. I reached out and touched her hand. “Go and get your baby and your mother. Danny and I will be right behind you. I give you my word.”
This must have been the toughest decision she’d ever made. Fortunately, she had no idea of the extent of Cutler’s crimes, no idea he was the Angel Killer. If she had, I don’t think she ever would have left her son.
Cutler pushed the bathroom door key across the table. Melanie kissed and hugged Danny and went upstairs to grab her baby. Then, muffled voices, feet on the stairs and in the lounge, and finally the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut.
The house fell silent. Cutler put out his hand to Danny, but the boy stepped close to me.
“I love you, son,” said Cutler. “Would you like me to put the telly on for you?”
Danny shrugged.
“You stay there for a minute and I’ll put the telly on. I’ll speak to the policeman and then when we’re finished you can go join Mummy. Okay?”
Danny nodded and looked at me.
I winked at the boy and smiled. “We just want to have a grown-up talk. It’ll be boring. You go in the other room and watch something fun.”
Cutler got up and, still holding the kitchen knife, stepped into the other room to put on the TV. Danny stayed close to me. I could hardly begin to imagine what he was thinking. It was heartbreaking to see him look so alone and scared. I had wanted to put as much distance as possible between Cutler and his family, and right now this was the best of a bad situation.
Suddenly I heard hysterical screaming – a woman’s voice. I jumped to my feet while Danny slid into the corner of the room and crouched down with his hands over his ears. I ran through to the lounge, my heart in my throat.
Melanie must have stayed behind and lain in wait for him. Cutler stood in the middle of the room, the black handle of a cook’s knife sticking out of his stomach. Blood was starting to spread across his shirt.
As I entered the room he turned and looked at me before looking back at Melanie. Without thinking I ran between the two of them.
Cutler seemed unaffected by the knife in his stomach. It should have stopped him in his tracks. Melanie was staring at it as though she wanted to grab it and stab him again. She lunged at me, trying to pass me and get at Cutler. A movement across the room caught my eye, and we both turned. Danny stood in the doorway, his eyes enormous. I felt Melanie stiffen in fear. With one hand I pushed her back and shouted at Danny to stay where he was.
Then, somehow ignoring the knife in his stomach, Cutler adjusted his grip on the knife he carried. His knuckles turned white as he clutched the handle. Sensing what was about to happen, I pushed Melanie backward again.
With a sob, Danny started to run towards her. Cutler swung around; I couldn’t let him grab the boy. I saw him raise the knife. I stepped towards Danny and then, sheltering him with my body, I swept him up into my arms. As I did so I felt a searing pain in my shoulder, a sickening pain like I’d never felt before. Then another terrible pain shot through my body. I had no doubt I’d been stabbed.
Whether it was pure adrenaline that kept me on my feet I didn’t know. I ignored the pain and kept moving. I held Danny tightly in my arms and ran back into the dining room. Circled back around then ran back down the hallway. Melanie was waiting with the front door open and her arms outstretched for her son.
“Go,” I shouted, handing him off. “Run, run, run!”
I watched in relief as Melanie and Danny ran to the safety of waiting officers.
I collapsed to my knees in the doorway. My world began spinning. A dull, aching pain engulfed me, followed by a wave of nausea that made me lightheaded.
I could feel Cutler behind me but I couldn’t move. My legs wouldn’t move. I was losing a lot of blood. My body was shutting down and diverting its efforts to my vital organs.
I remember being pulled clear of the doorway and the sound of running and shouting as officers stormed the house to arrest the Angel Killer.
The angelic face of a paramedic appeared over me. I could see her mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I had to close my eyes. I had to. I could sense her tugging at my clothes as she cut them to get to the stab wounds.
I felt cold. So cold. I had to keep moving. Who would protect Alice and Faith? I couldn’t die. I had to move. My body was too heavy. Nothing moved.
An overwhelming silence pressed down on me. The light faded. Finally, everything disappeared into black.
Chapter Sixty-Three
I woke on the third day. My eyes scanned a room I didn’t recognise. I was surrounded by flowers and cards. It looked like there had been a birthday party and I’d missed it.
I’d been lucky; I’d make a full recovery. The blade had gone deep but hadn’t hit any major organs or arteries. The doctor later told me I’d come around a few times over the last few days, which surprised me, as I didn’t remember it. She told me the pain-relief drug I was on could sometimes have a kind of hallucinatory effect, and memory loss was quite usual.
“Hello, stranger.” Monica looked at me with tears in her eyes and kissed my hand.
“Hello, beautiful. How have you been?”
Monica started to cry and laugh. “I thought I’d lost you just as I got you.”
“No chance. I’m not going anywhere. You and I have got a lot of living and a lot of loving to do.” She leaned over and kissed me. Her soft lips and the tenderness of her kiss made me wonder if this was another hallucination. “I love you,” I said. It felt good to say it, and I knew I meant it, more than ever before.
“Someone’s feeling better. And he’s not wasting any time,” said Rayner as he and Jenny entered the room. “Nurse, whatever he’s on, I want some.” Jenny gave him a playful slap.
“Stop fooling around,” said Mum. “I want to see my son. Now move that mountain-sized body of yours out of my way.”
“Daddy, Daddy!” Faith and Alice came barrelling in and then stood by the bed staring at me. I guessed someone had told them I’d be in pain and not to jump on me for a while.
“Can we see where you got stabbed?” said Faith. “You had stitches. Can I see them? Will there be a scar? Can I see it? When the nurse takes the stitches out, can I do some, please?”’
“Let Daddy relax,” said Alice. “He needs his rest. Stop being so gruesome all the time.”
“How about you both come around this side of the bed and give me a hug and a squeeze? I’ve missed you so much.”
“How are you feeling, son?” said Dad.
“You know, a bit groggy. I ache all down my right side, but I think that’s got to be a good sign.”
Everyone was quiet for a moment, and I knew what they were thinking. All the people I loved, and who loved me, were in the room and collectively they were thinking I was lucky to be alive. And I knew it. Once again, I’d put my life on the line for the job. Unless I changed, there might come a time when
my luck ran out.
I broke the awkward silence. “When can I go home? Has anyone heard?”
“That’s a good question. I’ll see if I can find a doctor,” said Rayner. He and Jenny stepped outside to see what they could find out.
I could see from Mum’s face that she was deeply upset and ready to give me a piece of her mind for putting myself in danger yet again. But apparently right now wasn’t the time. She leaned over and kissed me, then stroked my hair and kissed me again. “Take the job, sweetheart,” she whispered. “Move to the coast. Start over. No more of this. I want my precious boy safe.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Seeing me like this was breaking her heart.
I smiled and nodded gently. It was time for a fresh start. “Only if you promise you’ll visit as often as you can.”
“You try keeping me away. Just you try it,” she said with a smile.
Chapter Sixty-Four
“I’m sorry,” said Cutler. “About stabbing you, I mean.” He was unshaven and sporting a cut and swollen eye. I felt sure there would be plenty of people in prison who would want to make his life a misery.
I felt duty bound to speak to him even though I didn’t want him to see me while my arm was stiff. While my shoulder was healing fast, I was still in a lot of pain and discomfort. Detectives had informed me Cutler was being uncooperative, and even though I was still signed off I’d insisted on seeing him. I realised almost immediately my assumption he’d want to open up to me about the murders had been wrong. I’d hoped that by facing the detective who had finally tracked him down, coupled with the realisation it was over, he might show some remorse.
“I don’t know why I did it. I was in shock, I suppose.” He chuckled to himself. “Women never cease to amaze.” He lifted his clothes to show me the scar where Melanie had plunged the knife in. “We’ve got even more in common now, I suppose.”
