by D. E. Morris
The hours after she’d opened her eyes were a foggy memory. Faces full of love and concern and quiet, gentle words. That was all. On her own accord she’d retreated back into the warm comfort of sleep. Awakening brought a new clarity and Ashlynn held her baby for the first time.
Seeing Ashlynn was going to be fine, Nuala was the first to leave, knowing her kingdom had been without her long enough. Cavalon promised to catch up after speaking with Ashlynn. Elas and Kenayde stayed right up until the time Ashlynn was well enough to set sail for home. It was comforting to see Kenayde’s natural mothering skills be born. She fed Lochlainn from a water skin filled with cow's milk when Ashlynn was too tired, changed his soiled linens and taught Jaryn how to do it on his own. She cuddled the baby and held him any time she could. She talked to him now as Ashlynn slowly finished packing up her belongings in preparation for the journey home.
“You are going to be a wonderful mother someday.”
Kenayde’s cheeks colored and she looked at her sister with a timid smile. “I hope so.” She kissed Lochlainn’s cheek. “Babies always scared me, but taking care of Lochlainn feels so natural.”
“You were very good with Lucien as well,” her sister pointed out, taking her hand.
“I will have to try to get Papa out to see you. He will be so upset he missed Lochlainn’s birth.”
“Perhaps it was for the best,” Ashlynn said thoughtfully. “This will force him out of the castle for awhile. It will be good for him.”
Kenayde looked at her hand in her sister's and a sudden rush of loss ran through her. She pulled her hand free to hug Ashlynn tightly. “I hate being so far away. These past few days have been wonderful with all of us together again. We got to talk, and laugh, and not worry about anything.” Straightening, her brow was wrinkled. “I want more times like that.”
Ashlynn nodded. “So do I, but the reality is that they will be few and far between.” She gave a tight smile. “You and Elas are much more at liberty to roam free. The rest of us have kingdoms to lead.”
“I am just being a child,” Kenayde muttered. “I know I am, but I cannot help but miss all my loved ones.”
“Then travel. Take advantage of freedom while you still have it. Have you ever been to Braemar? Or Cieria? I have not even been to Alybaen. You could visit a place before I get to.” Ashlynn took Kenayde’s face in her hands. “You have no child to worry after and no castle to keep. These things are a blessing, Kenayde, not a burden.”
Kenayde looked into Ashlynn’s eyes, forcing a smile. “I will try to remember that.”
“Good.” Ashlynn tapped a finger on Kenayde’s nose, then stood to finish packing. “Don't let me keep you, little sister. You have far greater a distance to travel than I.” Catching the hesitance on Kenayde’s face, she added, “I am fine. There's no need to worry. Go home to Papa and tell him the good news.”
Looking at the four healing burn marks on Ashlynn's cheek, Kenayde frowned. “Are you sure? Lynnie, the things you were saying when you woke up...”
“I don't want to talk about it.” She buckled the clasps on her bag and held out her arms. “One more hug, then I am kicking you out.” The sisters embraced a final time and Ashlynn kissed Kenayde’s cheek as. “Worry not for tomorrow, for today has enough troubles of its own.”
Kenayde nodded. “Amen.” She took a deep breath and let it go slowly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Be safe.”
With Lochlainn in arm and her husband beside her, Ashlynn stood on the shore and waved as the ship for Caedia sailed out into the ocean. Their own vessel was loaded and awaiting their word to leave. By the time they reached Siness it would be sunset, night when they would see Altaine.
Cavalon helped bring their things below deck and found Ashlynn sitting above with her baby. He sat down beside her and gazed at the sleeping child. Lochlainn looked just like Jaryn with the shape of his nose and thick brows. His lips were pink and pouty like Ashlynn’s and he had her high cheekbones. “Your kingdom has an heir, as does your power.” He tilted his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop being amazed at the birth of a new baby.”
Ashlynn smiled warmly and looked down at her son. “They truly are miracles.”
“Ashlynn, what happened before you went into labor?”
Her expression darkened and she looked out to sea. “Nothing. I got lost in the woods when my contractions started and I must have scratched myself when I fell.”
“We both know those are burn marks, not scratches.”
She searched Cavalon’s face, weighing what to say. At length she simply shook her head. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“Please.” There was something fearful in her eyes, something Cavalon had never seen before and it jarred him. “Please don't ask me. Not right now.”
He didn't say anything for a moment, considering.
“I just want to go home and be with my family, Cavalon. That is all I want now.”
Reluctant, Cavalon nodded. “All right. Tell your husband I said it was good to see him.”
“Try not to be a stranger, okay?”
Cavalon grinned as he rose, though his eyes remained concerned. “They don’t get much stranger than me.” With a wink, he left the boat. Ashlynn could see him perfectly from where she sat and watched as he paced down the beach to find an area large enough for his transformation. Even though she knew what it was like to feel the change, it was always a thrill to watch one of the others shift.
As his body grew in size, his clothing melted into skin that turned white and became covered in scales. Arms and legs thickened with muscle as toes and fingers became claws and talons. His face elongated into a maw with a powerful jaw and sharp teeth. Wings sprouted from his shoulder blades and Ashlynn winced a little in sympathy; it was the most painful part of the transformation. Now much bigger than Ashlynn’s ship, the white dragon beat his powerful wings and lifted into the air. His departing call brought Jaryn on deck from below, shielding his face from the sun to watch Cavalon fly away.
“Why doesn’t he just go in the fyre?”
Ashlynn watched, a look of longing on her face. “Why have bread without honey? Fyre is quicker, but there is so much more enjoyment in flying.”
Sitting down beside her, Jaryn squeezed Ashlynn's shoulders. “Soon, my love. You’ll fly soon.” He pushed loose hair away from the marks on her cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“I am well,” she breathed. “I just want to go home.”
“Well then, let's go home.”
Chapter Five
Altaine castle was a hulking silhouette against the night sky. She towered well over the village that surrounded her with labyrinthine streets that formed an intricate knotted design for anyone fortunate enough to have an aerial view. Ashlynn had always loved her country even when she'd been kept away from it, perhaps especially then. There was a longing in her spirit to be among the embracing hills of Siness, the heather blanketing the valleys in brilliant purple, the mist that clung to the mountaintops.
The familiar feeling of being in Siness washed over Ashlynn as soon as her feet were on its solid ground. With her baby asleep in her protective grasp, she climbed inside the waiting carriage and nestled in beside her husband as the journey to the castle began. Two guards before and two guards after all on horseback made their journey along the king's road a boisterous one. Yet with Jaryn's arm around her and the constant motion of the carriage, Ashlynn soon found it hard to keep her eyes open.
She dreamed in memory, a time when she was aboard a ship with her sister. The air was warm then, and sea spray left salt on her lips. Kenayde had been only a babe then, little more than a year old. She wailed in fright even when held close by the woman who'd carried them on board. Ashlynn, close to five years old herself, was afraid as well. She clung to her caretaker's side and peered into the depths of the belly of the ship. Heavy casks of ale and wooden boxes big enough to contain a horse had been st
owed haphazardly below deck and cast unnerving shadows in the ever-shifting light. They were sailing for a new home with an uncle she'd met only once before. He would take care of them; he would protect them from the raiders who had stormed Altaine and slain their father.
The boat creaked and rocked as it was jostled by the waves, and Ashlynn moved closer to the woman. She touched the side of Kenayde's face and ran her fingers over the silky smoothness of the baby's cheek. The memories she had of her mother were fading, Siobhán having passed away giving birth to Kenayde, but the one thing she remembered most was the song her mother had sung to her whenever she was scared. With Kenayde crying as she was, Ashlynn thought of the song and how it had always made her feel. She hummed the tune quietly and laid her head on her caretaker's lap, her lips close to Kenayde's ear. Words came softly as her fingers moved over the fine blonde hair on Kenayde's head. Soon the baby calmed and Ashlynn smiled. She kissed Kenayde's face and promised, “I'll always protect you, piuthar bheag.”
As she sat up, a shadow moved out of the corner of her eye. Ashlynn whipped her head toward the back of the ship, the blackest part behind all the cargo.
Her name was whispered from the depths.
More curious than afraid, she moved away from the caretaker and her sister, crawling with slow deliberate movements. The older woman didn't even appear to notice she had left and Ashlynn continued to creep forward inch by inch. She heard the whisper again - stronger, beckoning. Reaching the first large box, she stood on uncertain legs, unused to the motion of the sea all around her. One foot crossed over into the darkness and she was yanked forward, burning and unforgiving hands grasping at every inch of her small body.
With a jerk and a gasp she awoke in the carriage, Lochlainn only just beginning to stir in her arms. Jaryn looked at her with curiosity and when he asked if she was all right, she nodded but said nothing.
It had been a dream, that was all. Just a dream. Except it wasn't completely a dream. The caretaker had been real, Kenayde, the ship, the song her mother had sung...but the blackness had never been there, never called to her. The journey from Siness to Nivar in Caedia had been calm and uneventful. Nothing like her dream.
“We're almost home.”
Ashlynn shook the heaviness from her thoughts and pushed the curtain aside to look out the window. Night had fallen thick around them and it was hard to tell exactly where they were on their journey.
“Your girls will be sad they missed the birth of their new prince.”
This comment succeeded in breaking through the weight of her thoughts and Ashlynn smiled down at Lochlainn. “When they hear the whole tale I have no doubt there will be little regret about not being witness to it themselves.”
“They will be glad you are home, though. Of that there is no doubt.” Jaryn smirked at her. “For a woman who claimed she never wanted to be 'one of those royals' you certainly seem to enjoy having ladies in your service. You have become the center of their universe.”
Ashlynn shook her head in slight embarrassment. “I had to swallow my pride and accept the help when I was in these last few months of my pregnancy, and I will admit that having them around has been wonderful. With Kenayde gone to Oceana and Luella in Caedia, I have enjoyed having the girls at the castle. It's almost like having friends.”
“I know you said you would certainly dismiss them once the baby was born, but I wonder if that has changed.”
She smirked and looked up at Jaryn. “Perhaps it has. I would miss them if they left, now. Besides, I am their High Queen. They are not only there to serve me but to learn from me as well. They are all titled and in high standings in their own rights. It would be irresponsible of me to send them away when none of them has yet found a suitable husband.”
Jaryn laughed. “Listen to yourself, love. A year ago you spoke like a Caedian rogue who gave no care about suitable unions, or unions at all. Now you sound like royalty, like a woman who seeks to shape kingdoms.”
Frowning thoughtfully, Ashlynn leaned against her husband. “Have I truly changed that much?”
“You still sound like a Caedian rogue.”
Ashlynn shook her head, grinning. “You know what I mean. Believe me, I am working on my accent. I had it when I was younger. Why should I not have it again?”
“You had to sound like a Caedian to stay safe, Ashlynn. I doubt there are many who think less of you because you sound like a foreigner.”
“Not out loud, anyway.”
Jaryn squeezed her shoulders. “The people of Siness love you. I love you. Our son loves you. Whether you've changed or not, that is all that should matter.”
Sounds of distant voices caught Ashlynn's ears and she sat up to sweep aside the curtains once more. Their caravan had left the dense forest behind and was entering the outskirts of Altaine Village. In a few more minutes they would pass through the town and be on their way up to the castle. Though it was late there were several people outside, all eager to see the royal carriage pass by even if there wasn't so much as a glimpse of those within. By the time they reached the castle, word had spread that the high king and queen had returned and a small crowd gathered in the front courtyard and around the gatehouse to welcome them.
Jaryn exited first, then helped Ashlynn down with Lochlainn carefully in her embrace. Upon seeing the queen with the bundle in her arms, three young women squealed and raised a fuss, surging forward from the castle to surround Ashlynn and the new member of the royal family. Jaryn let her go and immediately had the man on loan from Oceana at his side, walking with him side by side into the castle, relaying all that had happened since their departure for Mirasean and all that awaited royal attention.
Ashlynn watched him subtly. If there was any talk of change it should be of her husband. He was once a wandering bard, blissful in his lack of ties to anything and anyone, yet his love for her had turned his heart toward that of marriage, family, and all that came with it. He was still her silly, teasing Jaryn, but he had grown so quickly into a great king as well.
“He is beautiful!” one of Ashlynn's girls exclaimed, drawing her attention. “Have you chosen a name?”
“Lochlainn.”
A tall girl with long brown hair and big brown eyes smiled at Ashlynn, folding blue and purple wings close to her back. “After High King Nóe. It's perfect. He would be so touched.”
Ashlynn smiled. “Thank you, Lilia. It does suit him.”
“I am so upset we missed his birth!” said another girl with a Caedian accent. She was shorter than the other two with wavy black hair and dark skin. “I was looking forward to it so much.”
“Rest, Zarra.” The third girl had long blonde hair and gold flecked green eyes, and looked as similar to Ashlynn as a blood relative might, but her accent was that of Siness. “The little prince is here. There is still much cause for celebration.”
“Mairead is right,” said Ashlynn, casting the girl a thankful smile. “And a celebration we shall have once we are rested from our long journey.” She paused, taking each girl in. “I am happy to be home and with the three of you again.”
“We are happy you are home as well, Your Majesty,” replied Zarra with a smile. “The castle was not the same without you.”
“Come.” Ashlynn started inside, the others who had assembled to welcome her home parting to allow her entrance into the castle. “Help me get the baby settled and I will tell you all about the wedding.” Giggling, the three girls hurried after her with excited chatter.
~*~*~*~
It was not common practice among nobility for a queen, especially a high queen, to nurse her own child. Most of them were simply too busy and more concerned with getting back into their more flattering court gowns than feeding a hungry baby. Ashlynn had been looked after by a wet-nurse and several nannies after she was born, though she was told her mother spent time with her often. That alone was a luxury most children of her status were never afforded, even in present times. Ashlynn, however, was a different breed of mother from
the very beginning.
When Zarra presented her with someone more than ready to take on the duties of caring for Lochlainn, Ashlynn kindly sent the woman on her way and made sure all three of her main ladies knew she would be seeing to the prince's feeding needs and no one else. Within a matter of weeks it was rare for the baby to be seen in the care of a nanny at all, rather he was with Ashlynn nearly all the time.
Dark circles had appeared under her eyes and she looked drawn. Jaryn was not immune to the effects of having an infant sleeping in his room either, but there was something heavy to Ashlynn's exhaustion, something apart from a lack of sleep. Though no one said anything to her directly, court gossip spread like wildfire and soon rumors were floating about of her health. Could the baby's rough birth and all the magic used to save her life finally be catching up with her? If only she would let someone else care for the child, even for a little while. Her attachment to him was unnatural even by low-born standards.
There were many nights when she would startle, gasping as though she'd been drowning, and reach for the comfort of her child sleeping beside her. Jaryn observed her, night after night. At first it seemed like bad dreams, but before long she was whimpering in her sleep. He lay awake and watched her brow wrinkle, her hands turn to fists, fear, anger, and sorrow all rippling across her face in quick succession. She never fully woke but settled when she felt Lochlainn in her arms.
Tonight was different.
She was locked in memory again, this time in the battle that had torn her land apart the year before. Though the summer heat made her sweat during her waking hours she could feel the icy sting of snow on her skin as it fell from a blackened sky. It smudged with ash when she tried to rub it away, then turned murky with blood between her fingers. Swords clashed all around her, ringing in her ears. Then a scream.
