by Ashley Jade
He motions for me to get out but I don’t budge. “I was driving fine.”
He gives me a dubious look. “Sure, if you were a blind woman living in England where driving on the opposite side of the road is standard.”
I push my door open and slam it shut. “It’s not the opposite side of the road for them, jackass. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that, now would you?”
Because he’s not different. He drives on the same side of the road as the rest of the country. But me? I’m England. Something he’ll never understand.
Kissing me doesn’t give him an identity crisis. It doesn’t let her and every bigot like her win.
His eyebrow quirks up. “What’s happening?”
The confusion on his face almost makes my heart cramp, until I remember he’s the reason for mine. “Nothing.”
I start walking to the other side of the car, but he catches my wrist and hauls me back to him. “Kit.”
I hate the concern in his tone. I hate that he’ll keep pushing me until I snap and admit these fucked up feelings that I can’t wrap my head around. “I’m fine.”
Hopefully that will pacify him so he’ll leave me alone. This way, I can breathe and sort out my mind. Realize that a kiss is just that—a kiss. It doesn’t mean anything.
“No, you’re not.” He studies my face. “I know you’re worried, but I told you, we’ve got this.”
I salute him. “Sure thing, chief.”
My voice wobbles and I weigh the pros and cons of throwing myself in front of the next car that drives by. Anything to get out of this conversation.
“Look, I can’t decipher whatever chick language this is, or why you’re acting stranger than—” He pauses mid-sentence and I see the light bulb go off. “The kiss.”
It’s like he’s pouring salt on my cut. “Wow, someone is awfully full of themselves.” I give him a snide smile. “Sorry to stomp on your ego, but it wasn’t all that great. We’re lacking a little thing called chemistry.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire. We have so much of it I’m surprised the snow-covered ground between us hasn’t gone up in flames.
His mouth curves into a sinister smirk. Like my answer amuses him. “That’s bullshit.”
Diverting my stare, I lift my chin in defiance. I need to nip this in the bud now. “Is not. To be perfectly honest, it was the worst kiss I’ve ever had.”
A pang of regret goes through me, but it vanishes when he pins me against the car.
“Look me in the eyes and say that.” He leans down, and even though it’s freezing outside, my hands become balmy. “I fucking dare you.”
It’s my move, I know this. Whatever I say or do next will change the course of history.
Change me.
But I don’t want to change. I don’t want to conform, and I don’t want to question everything that felt right in my life before he kissed me. I just want to forget it ever happened.
I won’t trade my fin for legs so I can walk on land with him.
Not even for one night. Or less—because knowing Preston he’ll be long gone before the wet spot on the bed dries.
His gaze drops to my lips, lingering there. “You can’t hide or deny your attraction to me. Might as well put on your big girl panties and admit it.” Lids lowering, he gives me a slow perusal from head to toe that makes my heart pump harder. “Or better yet, take them off.”
Finding my resolve, I square my shoulders. “Never gonna happen. The kiss didn’t mean anything. I’m not attracted to you, dude.”
It’s not very convincing. Even I wouldn’t believe me.
The pad of his thumb brushes my bottom lip. “If that’s the case, do it again.”
Anxiety speeds through me like a rocket. “What? Why? No. We’re not in front of my nanna. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it, and there’s really no reason for us to kiss in front of her anyway. It’s kind of tacky, don’t you think? I mean who—”
“Stop babbling and kiss me.” There’s a dark note in his tone that sends a shiver up my spine. “If you really felt nothing, it shouldn’t be a problem.”
Rock…meet hard spot. In more ways than one, because there is definitely something very hard, and large, nudging my stomach. Something I know for sure I don’t want. I might like his lips, but that’s where this yellow brick road to hell ends for me.
“That’s dumb. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t enjoy eating a donkey’s testicles, but I would never ask you to just to convince me you don’t.”
His hands fasten around my hips, pulling me up to meet him and I have no choice but to fold my legs around his waist.
“You asked me to kiss you at the airport and I obliged. I’m asking you to return the favor.”
Without warning, his lips coast along my neck and I suck in a breath. The sun is going to start rising any minute, and here he is mauling me on the side of the road where anyone can shine their headlights on us and see.
“That was different,” I pant, my breath coming out in rapid, visible puffs due to the cold and his teeth nipping at me. “It was business, and now that we’ve established I can kiss you without tossing my cookies…there’s no need to do it again.”
The tip of his tongue glides over my sensitive skin and I arch into him. “Stop being a coward and take what we both know you want.”
“No.”
If I kiss him right now…I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop.
A snarl leaves him. “Then I will.”
Crushing his mouth against mine, he makes good on his word and takes the reins, leaving me helpless. His tongue plunges deep, and unlike our last kiss, he’s not teasing and he’s not giving. He’s downright taking. Bludgeoning anything in his path that prevents him from getting what he wants.
Including my defenses…because Preston’s breaking me apart with a single kiss. And by God, I’m not stopping him.
He’s so greedy—one hand threads my hair and the other drops to grab a handful of my ass as he coaxes me to open my mouth wider so he can explore every nook and cranny. The low, almost growling sound that emits when I slick my tongue over his, tasting him back, has me shaking with need.
My body’s response to him is downright scary. I’m so turned on. So pliable with a single kiss.
How far will I let him go? Where do I draw the line?
Preston’s not the kind to give any mercy. Which means I need to put an end to this while I still can. Before this gets even more dangerous for me. A kiss or two can be chalked up to an experiment, simple curiosity. But anything more is an undertaking.
It’s giving credence to these feelings.
“Preston,” I wheeze, struggling for both air and clarity.
“Tell me you don’t want this.” He sucks my bottom lip, pulls it between his teeth. “Tell me you don’t feel anything.” His voice is rough, thready, making my insides coil.
Hand clasping my nape, he gives me one last flick before his lips descend, peppering kisses down my jaw as he tugs on the zipper of my jacket. Good Lord, he’s insatiable.
“Tell me to stop.”
Evidently my vocal chords are on strike because the only thing that comes out is a whimpered moan when he licks the hollow of my throat.
My head lolls back as he pulls my sweater down and ventures lower, his stubble scraping the tops of my breasts. “I want these in my mouth.”
Sweet baby Jesus in a manger this escalated quickly.
My heart stops when he finds my nipple through the fabric of my bra, toying with me. “I want to hear you moan my name as you come down my throat.” Heat invades my cheeks with his dirty words and a sharp nibble steals my breath. “I bet you taste so fucking good.”
His fingertips trail down the side of my stomach and he snaps the waistband of my leggings. “Take these off so I can find out.”
A ripple of lust goes through me, hot and viscous, but it’s immediately followed by the tide of self-loathing.
He’s trying to take me out of my oce
an.
Dread claws at my chest when another wave of desire erupts, sending me reeling. “No. Stop.”
He releases his hold so fast I nearly fall on my ass. “What—”
“I can’t do this.” I push him, needing the distance. “I don’t want to walk on your stupid fucking land, okay?”
He looks at me like I’ve sprouted another head. “I don’t understand—”
“That’s just it. You don’t understand, and you never will. I am a lesbian. And no matter what you say or do, I will never let you…” My throat swells with tears and I try again. “I’ll never let you, my grandmother, or anyone else force me to be something I’m not.”
He looks so dejected my heart falls. “I don’t want you to be anyone but you.”
He reaches for me, but I jump back. I can’t take having his hands on me again, or I’ll burst into flames.
“Don’t touch me,” I yell, much harsher than I intended.
His face turns ashen. “I might be an asshole, but if you think I’d hold you down and rape you, then you really don’t know me at all.”
A splinter of remorse goes through me. “I know you wouldn’t do that.”
And I shouldn’t be putting the blame solely on him for what happened. Not this time.
I was the one who asked him to kiss me at the airport. I was the one who kept the kiss going. I was the one who kissed him back before…because I wanted to.
Nausea barrels into me and I squeeze my eyes shut. Jesus, get a grip, Kit.
It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore. The last twenty-four hours have been such a whirlwind I can barely see straight let alone think straight. Or gay as the case may be.
No wonder my system is so screwed up, it can’t tell left from right or right from wrong. It’s making me think I enjoy things I never would. It’s taking my bond with Preston and spinning it into something it’s not. Something it can never be.
As usual, I’m ready to jump into the fire all because I feel one tiny spark.
I’m pathetic. My desperation for love has reached such a sickening low, I’m seeking the opposite sex now.
My stomach spins for a whole other reason when I look up at the rising sun. “We need to go, we’re wasting time we don’t have.”
Without a word, he heads for the car.
“Preston,” I say, halting him.
I’m grateful when he doesn’t turn around. “I think it would be best for us to forget this ever happened. We’re both complicated enough as it is, we don’t need to add any more logs to the fire, you know?”
I don’t want to chase the burn this time.
“You’re right. It was a mistake.”
I flinch and my heart twists when he slides into the driver’s seat and slams the car door shut.
Because he’ll incinerate me.
Just like he said he would.
Chapter 9
“She can’t speak.”
I ring the doorbell, which is stupid because I already told them via the intercom at the gate that I was here.
Preston gives me a sharp nod. “I’m aware.”
“She also does this weird thing where she lights cigarettes since she can no longer smoke them. It’s probably—”
“Got it.”
That subzero front of his is firmly back in place again.
Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with two different people.
There’s the Preston who gave me his lucky poker chip. The guy the organ in my chest is unconditionally attached to whether I like it or not.
And Preston—the asshole with the poker face of the devil and an ice sculpture for a heart. The one who drives me out of my mind and makes me seriously contemplate murder.
In other words, not the man who will charm my nanna like he was supposed to. I’m regretting that kiss even more now.
“I think our best bet is to let me do all the talking. All you have to do is sit there and look like you’re hopelessly in love with me, okay?”
Preston stares straight ahead. “I’m the window dressing.”
And that’s when the door opens.
“Reggie will be with you shortly,” a butler informs us curtly before he starts walking, gesturing for us to follow him.
If Preston’s impressed by his surroundings, he doesn’t show it.
Perhaps he’s disgusted like I am, given this place is a gaudy monstrosity. Nothing like my parents’ house which, despite its large size actually felt like a home.
But it wasn't good enough for my nanna, so she had to buy her own.
And what a shit-show it is. Porcelain floors, ridiculous marble statues, and expensive antique knickknacks that serve no real purpose—other than to remind people she's loaded, are just some of the things that surround me as the stuffy butler ushers us into the atrium leading to the enclosed, heated verandah outside.
Figures this is where we’d be eating, she knows I hate it out there. It feels more like dining at an upscale restaurant rather than a meal with family. Which is probably why she likes it, it’s as detached as she is.
Another five minutes pass and when there's still no sign of Reggie, I start walking around. I'm hoping moving will reduce some of the anxiety I've got going on, but I can feel Preston’s eyes on my back the entire time, silently studying me.
I'm about to go find my nanna myself when I hear Reggie's infamous throat clear. “Your grandmother said to go ahead and start without her, she’ll be joining us shortly.”
I open the glass door to the verandah. “Let me guess, she’s busy thinking up more ways to make my life a living hell.”
“She’s with the doctor. She wasn’t feeling well and took a tumble on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night.” Remorse crosses over his features. “I had checked on her minutes before it happened. I thought she was sleeping.”
The blood drains from my face. “Is she okay?”
“She’s doing as well as a woman approaching her final stages of cancer can be doing, yes.” His eyes land on Preston. “This the beard?”
My boy Reggie has jokes.
Palm to head, I gasp dramatically. “I’ll be damned, Reg. Was that…sarcasm?” I pick up a cloth napkin and dab my eyes mockingly. “My baby is all grown up. Soon you’ll be swearing and diddling the maids like the virile hot-blooded male you are.”
In my peripheral vision, I see Preston’s lips twitch.
Reggie’s cheeks redden as we sit down at the table. “The lawyer should be arriving any minute.” He pours himself a cup of coffee and takes a sip. “Probably running late due to having to be here for breakfast at this ungodly hour.”
“Well, you know what they say. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I think my wife did us all a favor.”
Three things happen at that moment.
One—Reggie chokes on his coffee.
Two—Barry, the lawyer arrives.
And three—a maid wheels my nanna in.
Fuck several ducks. This wasn’t how I planned to spill the beans.
I nudge Preston with my knee under the table, reminding him that window dressings don’t talk.
My nanna shoos the maid away and waves Reggie over.
Barry’s already pallid complexion turns peaked. “You got married?”
“Surprise.” Although it shouldn’t be. I told him I was getting myself a husband.
Barry grabs a seat on the other side of me. “Please tell me you didn’t run off and marry someone without a prenup.”
Both his statement and the severe prick in his words has me breaking out in a sweat. Making Preston sign a prenup never even occurred to me. Not once.
But it occurred to him. Because he threatened to take my parents’ money. It’s all I can do not to dry heave. I feel so sick.
My nanna looks at me then, disappointment hardening her gaze.
Without missing a beat, she gestures for Reggie to wheel her out of the verandah, discarding me like I’m nothing more than leftovers.
My heart drops to the floor. I blew it.
Barry lets out a heavy sigh. “How could you be so stupid, Kit?”
Before I can respond, Preston reaches across me and lunges for Barry, grabbing him by the collar. “Call her stupid again and I’ll knock your teeth out, motherfucker.”
“I was only trying to look out for her,” Barry sputters.
“That’s not your job.” Preston tightens his grip. “Now apologize to my wife for being a dipshit.”
“I’m sorry, Kit. I didn’t mean to insinuate you were stupid, I’m concerned is all.”
I give Barry a small nod, I’m so stunned it’s all I can manage to do. To say this breakfast meeting is off to a horrible start would be an understatement.
And although Preston is screwing up the plan, I can’t bring myself to be mad at him for defending my honor.
He’s the only one here who would. Even if it’s only for show.
From the corner of the room, I notice my grandmother. Cigarette in hand, she’s watching the exchange with a sickening pleased expression on her face.
Either she really hates Barry and it amuses her that he’s having his ass handed to him, or she’s starting to believe this fake relationship might not be so fake. If I had to take a gander, I’d say the former, but I don’t want to mess it up in case it’s the latter.
When Preston releases Barry, I lean over and whisper, “Thank you. I’ve got everything from here, though, okay?”
I can practically feel my nanna’s eyes burrowing through me and I realize this exchange probably interests her way more than Preston and Barry’s did.
Which means giving Preston a high-five is out of the question. I rub his shoulder instead, trying to play it off like I’m calming my agitated husband down and whispering soothing words in his ear.
Evidently, it works because Reggie wheels my nanna over to the table and the butler takes our breakfast orders.
And then there’s nothing but awkward silence.
My specialty.
“Sorry for springing this on you, but I’m just as surprised as you are, Nanna. I was away on business in Vegas of all places, and Preston flew down to meet me.” I reach for the orange juice, ignoring the look Preston’s giving me. “Anyway, he showed up with a gorgeous engagement ring and proposed, it was super romantic. So romantic we couldn’t wait another second and we had to do it right there and then.”
