Out of the corner of my eye, I see her shrug her shoulders. “I’m just saying they don’t sound like my cup of tea. That’s all.”
“How about asking them if they drink coffee or tea,” I suggest.
“Who cares?”
“Claire, you asked for my help. I’m offering my help.”
She writes something down on her pad. “I’m going to need you in the ballroom at three to help me with our test run with the staff.”
“I’ll be there,” I tell her before asking, “Did you want me to bring some snacks?”
“Why not? It will give us a better visual on how this will go.”
She doesn’t say anything else. The ensuing silence isn’t awkward as much as we’re both lost in our own thoughts. Okay, it might be a bit awkward, too.
I drop Claire off at the front entrance. “See you later,” I tell her backside. She jumps out of the car and practically sprints to the large double doors without answering.
I spend most of the day so busy, I barely have time to think. When I do think, it’s thoughts about Malquar and how strange it’s going to be home again. I’m glad I’m going back early when Chéri shares her news. That way I can see the house I’ll be moving into and get a feel for my old/new life.
I walk into Ruby’s office and see she’s on the phone. She waves me in, so I sit across from her desk while she finishes up a call. I’m not looking forward to telling her that I need some time off, but there’s no other alternative.
When she hangs up the phone, she looks at me and says, “Yes?”
“I need a week off,” I tell her.
“Surely, you’re joking. You can’t just give me your notice and then go off galivanting on vacation.” She sounds like a stern headmaster.
“There’s a bit of a crisis going on at home with my family,” I tell her.
A myriad of emotions crosses her face. The most prominent is annoyance. When that passes, she says, “Do I get to know what that crisis is?”
I shake my head. “No.”
After a big sigh, she decides, “Fine. Go. Just make sure Henry and the rest of the kitchen staff will be ready for anything.”
“Of course,” I tell her before standing up.
As I turn to leave, she says, “We’ve set up the trial Speed Date run between shift changes this afternoon. This way we should have plenty of participants.”
“I’ll be there,” I tell her.
“Maybe you should send Henry instead. It’s not like you’re going to be here for the event.” Oh boy, she is mad. I decide to just nod my head and walk away. Henry and I can both go.
There’s excitement in the air throughout the day. I overhear snippets of happy conversation about our event. One of the waitresses flirtatiously asks if I’m going to join in. It makes me realize I don’t know much about the personal lives of the people around me. I’ve been so busy keeping my life private, I’ve never asked about theirs.
Most of the tables are full when I get to the ballroom. I watch as Claire walks around with a clipboard like she’s the cruise director on a ship. When everyone is settled, she sits down at a table that’s set slightly apart with two men and announces, “I’ll show you how we envision this going. Raise your hands if you have any questions. If I don’t have the answer, we’ll figure it out together.”
Ruby, who’s standing against the wall, points at me and says, “Geoffrey, go sit at Claire’s table. She needs a third man.”
Had I only waited in the kitchen a few extra minutes, I could have gotten out of this. I sit down next to Ben, one of the masseuses. Claire watches me like she’s witnessing a cockroach crawl toward her dinner. Flattering.
She raises her voice and announces, “I’ve put cards with questions on every table, if you’re at a loss for what to ask. They’re all different, so you should have a wide variety of information about everyone by the time the event is over.”
She picks up a card off the pile and asks one of the groundskeepers the following: “What is your idea of the most romantic date?”
Dillon thinks for a moment before replying, “I like to hike, so maybe hiking to a nice picnic spot up by the falls and having dinner at sunset.”
“That’s very romantic,” Claire tells him.
Is she flirting with him?
She turns to Ben and asks the same question. “I think going out for dinner would be my idea of a romantic date. Then, if my date is lucky, I might massage her shoulders during dessert.”
The crowd hoots and whistles. One of the women from housekeeping stands up and offers, “I’m free tonight. What time do you want to pick me up?” It occurs to me that a lot of the staff don’t know each other because their jobs keep them from interacting.
Claire picks up another card, but before she can ask the question, I say, “Don’t you want to hear my idea of a romantic date?”
She exhales so loudly I’m pretty sure the people on the other side of the lodge know she’s annoyed. “No, thank you, Geoffrey. I think everyone has gotten the idea.” Wow, she’s really mad about our phone conversation last night.
I tell her anyway. “I like to cook for my dates and snuggle up on the couch and watch something on television.” I don’t care about the TV part, but I’m hoping to remind her about our two evenings at my place watching Speed Date—first, when she came looking for a lemon and I made her the best grilled cheese ever, and then when I made her my special stew.
She ignores me and puts the card back on the table. “Dillon, if we were dating and I wanted to see a French film, would you go with me?” She raises an eyebrow and peeks at me out of the corner of her eye.
“I don’t speak French,” Dillon answers.
“They have subtitles.” I feel the need to contribute.
Claire turns her head and full-on glares at me. “It’s not your turn to talk, Geoffrey.” Then she smiles at Dillon, “What’s your answer?”
He shifts nervously in his seat. “I mean, I guess I would. I’ve never seen one so maybe they’re more fun than they sound.”
“You see that, Claire,” I interrupt. “Dillon is willing to give it a try and doesn’t shoot down the idea just because it’s a new experience.”
Claire stands up and announces to the room, “There you are, folks, our first match! Dillon and Geoffrey will be enjoying a picnic supper at the falls before watching a foreign film together.”
Everyone bursts out laughing. While I’m the butt of the joke, I still find myself grinning. I stand up and say, “It’s my turn to show you how it works when the man is asking the questions. Ben, Dillon, would you stand up for a moment and open your seats for a couple of lucky ladies?”
There’s practically a stampede as five different women try to get to the chairs before the others. Claire gets up to offer her seat, but I tell her, “Sit down, Claire. You’ve had your fun, now I’m going to have mine.” She doesn’t look pleased.
Two housekeepers, Beth and Maria, smile brightly at me. “Beth,” I ask the younger of the two, “Do you ever kiss on the first date?”
“If I’m into the guy, sure.”
Maria, who must be in her forties, blurts out, “I might kiss him before the first date if it was you.” Then she winks and puckers up.
I offer her a slow wink in return before turning to Claire. “What about you, Claire? Where do you stand on kissing on the first date?”
“I don’t.” She hurries to add, “I think you need to make sure you have more in common with the person than just physical attraction.”
“Boo!” someone yells out.
Maria tells Claire, “You can overlook a lot of nonsense if you’ve got the hots for each other.”
“Don’t they say love is eighty percent chemical?” Beth adds.
“Have you ever kissed on a first date?” I ask
Claire.
She ignores me and stands up. Facing the rest of the tables, she says. “If you don’t want to answer
a question, you don’t have to. We’re going to give you ten minutes with your table. Where there’s one woman and three men, the woman asks the questions and vice versa. Ready, set, GO!”
I must look like the Cheshire Cat. The grin on my face is so wide it almost hurts. Claire does her best to ignore me while she sits back down. She refuses to answer my other questions and practically sprints to the next table when the timer rings.
I’m supposed to go in the other direction, but I don’t. I follow her like a lost puppy hoping the nice lady will pick me up and take me home.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sharon
Sharon walks into the lodge after enjoying her hike up to the falls and back. When she sees Chris standing at the desk, she asks, “Have you seen Claire?”
“She’s in the ballroom practicing Speed Date with the staff. If you hurry you can still catch some of it.”
Sharon shakes her head. “She didn’t tell me that was today!” She hurries down the main hall hoping to witness some of the fun before it’s over.
Sharon nearly walks into Ruby in her haste to enter the room. “You’re late,” Ruby tells her.
“That daughter of mine didn’t tell me today was the day.” Dropping her purse by the wall, she asks, “How’s it going?”
“Claire and Geoffrey did a nice job of breaking the tension for everyone by discussing when a first kiss should happen.”
“Dear lord, tell me Claire didn’t share her archaic view that you should wait until the third date.”
“She did,” Ruby replies.
“If I didn’t labor for twenty-seven hours with that one, I’d wonder how we were even related.” Sharon catches sight of her daughter and hurries over to the table she’s sitting at. It might behoove her to find out exactly how repressed Claire really is.
Claire
If today’s trial run is any indication, our event is going to be a huge hit. While I don’t see myself dating any of our staff thus far, I do think I’ve made some potential friends. Ben offered to give me a free massage. In no way did that feel as sketchy as it sounds. In fact, I think he may have made a connection with one of the maids.
My mom sits down next to me, which surprises me, as I didn’t see her come in. “Why didn’t you tell me this was happening today?” she hisses.
“I didn’t think it would matter to you,” I tell her.
“Are you kidding? I told you what a huge fan I was of Speed Date.” She stops to smile at the three men sitting in front of me and announces, “I want to play!”
“Did you forget you are married?” I ask.
“I’m not looking for love, honey,” she says. “But I can bring another perspective that might be helpful.” She picks up a card, reads it, and puts it back. Then she picks up two more and does the same thing. “Who wrote these questions?” she demands.
“I did,” I tell her, trying to prepare myself for a direct attack.
Luckily, she doesn’t make a comment. Instead she looks around the table and asks, “How soon do you expect to jump into bed with a gal after you start dating?”
Oh. My. God. I’m pretty sure my face is turning purple.
Justin, one of the zip-line instructors answers, “It could happen anywhere between the first and third date.”
“Not for Claire it couldn’t,” she answers, giving me the hairy eyeball.
“Well, not if she’s not willing to kiss the guy,” Justin agrees.
“How about you, Geoffrey?” my mom asks. “When do you expect to get some action?”
He looks as uncomfortable as I feel. “I think every relationship is different, Sharon. For instance, if you’re just looking for fun, it might happen sooner than if you’re looking for something long-term.”
“You kids call those hookups, right?” she asks.
“Mom, I don’t think you’re helping here,” I tell her. Discussing hookups with my mom can in no way add anything to this process.
But before I can ask another question, Collin, one of the maintenance guys, says, “Hookups are totally a part of dating today. I think it’s a good question.”
I’m so happy my mom is being encouraged. Not. She asks Collin, “Have you ever had a hookup turn into a long-term girlfriend?”
He nods his head. “Sure. My current girlfriend started out as a casual fling.”
Buoyed by this news, she asks, “What about you, Geoffrey? Have you ever had a casual fling turn serious?”
“I’m not actually looking to date anyone at the moment, so I can’t see how knowing about my history would be helpful.”
“Of course it’s helpful,” my mom encourages him.
Collin interrupts and wants to know, “What about asking if anyone is into swaps?”
“Swaps?” I ask. “Like mate swapping?” Ew and double ew, with a side of gross.
“Yeah, why not?” he wants to know. “I’d totally be down with that.”
“That’s not the kind of event we’re hosting,” I tell him, sounding prim even to my own ears.
“What can it hurt to know who’s up for that kind of thing,” Justin interjects.
“Geoffrey?” my mom asks him.
“I’m a firm no on swaps,” he says. “I’m not casting any judgments, just speaking to my own preference.”
“Claire?” my mom asks me.
“You know me, Mom, I’m all about the reverse harem. Line ’em up! I’m here to serve.” In case my extreme sarcasm is lost on her, I add, “No swapping for me.”
My mom tries for another card. “Who cares if you take a bath or shower?”
“Someone might care,” I try to defend my question.
“What about this one? What kind of food would you take into the bedroom with you?” Her eyes are positively glimmering with anticipation at the answers she might get.
Collin is the first to speak up. “Chow mein noodles. Cheyenne and I had a real good time with those a while back.”
“Honey,” Justin contributes. “It’s so sticky, you have to really work to get it off.”
“Geoffrey?” my mom asks.
“I think it would depend on the woman and the situation.”
“Claire?” she wants to know as if she can’t already guess my answer.
“Barbeque ribs and coleslaw,” I straight out lie.
I’m guessing she can tell I’m not serious because she clucks her tongue at me before saying,
“You’ve got to quit being such a stick in the mud. I did not raise you to be so prudish.”
“Were you hoping for a slutty daughter?” I ask before I can think better of it. I honestly don’t judge other people for their choices. As far as I’m concerned, your sex life is your business and none of mine, but this is my MOTHER.
Not only should we NOT be having this discussion, but she should not be encouraging me to be more open with my charms. It’s not natural.
“I slept with two boys before I met your dad. Both of them helped me discover what I wasn’t looking for in a man.”
“Mother, if you don’t stop talking right now, I’m going to have to pop my eardrums so I can’t hear anymore.”
“Claire, sex is a natural part of life. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s also a great stress reliever, and honey, I think you need a release.”
Both Justin and Collin are nodding their heads like they’d be willing to help me out. Geoffrey, on the other hand, is staring at me so intently it’s almost like he’s trying to look through me to see the other side of the room.
The heat of his gaze causes my own internal temperature to rise. I jump up and announce, “I’ll just leave my mom to entertain the troops while I walk around and see how everyone else is doing.”
From what I can tell, most people aren’t using my questions, which is fine. They’re just there in case they’re needed. I overhear questions like, “Are you tested regularly for HIV? Do you have any other kind of VD?” and of course, “Are you open
to hookups?” What’s happened to my generation? Is there no romance left?
Ruby waves to get my attention and I walk over to her. “What do you think?” I ask.
“I think this event is going to be a hit.”
“I hope so,” I tell her, more worried than ever now that I see this old courtship game in action.
The rest of the week plods along like the last week of Lent. Geoffrey and I barely speak unless it is work-related. It feels like whatever flirtation existed was just a figment of my imagination.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ruby
“Geoffrey leaves today for Malquar,” Ruby tells Chris while they’re sitting in the office going through comment cards left by the guests.
“When are you planning on starting to interview replacements?” her friend asks before saying, “We might have to cast a wide net to find a chef of Geoffrey’s caliber.”
“I’m not looking for his replacement.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think he’s really going to go.”
“Rubes, he gave his notice. What part of that makes you think he’s not planning to leave?”
Ruby shrugs her shoulders. “I think he’s running home, looking for something he can find right here.”
“Which is?”
“Love.”
Shaking her head, Chris replies, “I think he’s really going and you’re pie-in-the-sky dreaming if you choose to think otherwise.”
Ruby sticks her tongue out at her friend before saying, “I’ll be watching Henry this week and if he does a good job, I might promote him from sous chef to executive chef. That is, if Geoffrey really goes.”
Geoffrey
I usually enjoy traveling but I’m not loving today. It’s been one obstacle after another since leaving Portland. The first leg of my trip was delayed due to a maintenance issue, which meant I missed my connecting flight in New York.
I’m currently sitting in the only seat that was available on the next flight to Paris—which is a center seat right between a sizable guy who snores and a middle-aged woman who won’t stop talking.
It's My Party: A Royal Romantic Comedy (Seven Brides for Seven Mothers Book 3) Page 13
