She said, “I love you,” out loud. To me. Well, she was looking right at me. And Cosmo was staring at the floor.
I pointed to my chest, confused.
“So much. Thank you. You did more than you know.” A woman stepped next to her. Ann from the guesthouse was dressed up like a bridesmaid.
This farce. This absolute farce made me rage. Like play actors. None of it mattered. Marriage was an ancient ritual ol’ Olin thought made him win.
Ember curtsied to me. Then she kissed the tips of her fingers and blew the imaginary kiss my way.
Olin Feybi came sashaying into the hallway. “Oh. No! Is the door open? He’s not supposed to see the bride. It’s bad luck.”
He came forward and pushed Cosmo and me toward the church doors. I risked a final glance over my shoulder. Ember looked radiant, even peaceful. It was off. The terror she normally kept right under the surface of her skin was gone. It was like seeing the old Ember, the girl I first fell for, on the floor of that pizza parlor a lifetime ago.
I took my place at the end of the aisle. Cosmo was softly weeping. I swallowed hard and felt like the whole church could hear me. The edges of the pews had at least ten armed guards. I knew there would be more outside. The priest stood next to Cosmo.
Ember was smiling at me when the music was piped in. The stained glass created a pattern on her dress as she moved forward. One whole side of her became a kaleidoscope of religion. She held onto Olin’s arm. She came to a stop halfway down the aisle, though the music continued to play.
Ember handed Olin her bouquet. He was the picture of a loving grandfather figure. He took the handful of white roses with a puzzled face. She bent at the waist and pulled up her long gown. The glint of silver sticking out of her traditional blue garter was instantly confusing.
She unsheathed the blade and stood. In one swift motion she buried the knife into Olin’s throat. His eyes rolled into his head and his tongue stuck out.
Blood spurted down the front of Ember’s dress. She turned to me, one last glance before spreading her arms wide. I was running toward her when the first shot hit. And then the second. The gunmen on the side of the church were doing what they were paid to do. I slid toward her on my knees as she fell. I covered her with my body as best I could, cradling her.
Olin was dying a slow, gasping death, insultingly close to Ember and me. Gunfire exploded above me. I stayed low.
“Why did you do that? Ember, why did you do it?” I ran my hand down her body. Her dress was more red than white. I pulled my jacket off and tried to figure out where the fuck the bullet wounds were. The color was draining from her face and lips. I kissed her gently.
“Say it back.” Ember tried to lift her hand, but it flopped next to her. I picked it up. Above my head there was an all out gunfight. Screams and grunts from fallen men.
I realized what she’d done. She’d said goodbye to me before she even started to walk down the aisle. She’d told me she loved me.
Her eyes closed. She took a deep breath and then didn’t exhale.
You’re the inhale; I’m the exhale.
The terror filled me. Losing her. Losing her now. We were just getting started. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I let her lie at my feet as I stood, black suit covered in her blood. Olin finally sputtering to a stop.
Not without her. I couldn’t do it. I waited for a bullet to hit me.
She had taken her last inhale, and I committed to my matching exhale.
Romeo and Juliet. How we started was how we would end.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Please breathe...
Chapter 72
Animal
BY THE TIME I got to the church, police surrounded it. Ambulances and hearses were loud and silent, in that order.
I was glad I’d brought Merck. He was able to speak to the cop in charge. He got a list of patients from him and the hospitals they were taken to. And then he dropped the bomb.
“They have one female inside. DOA. The rest are male.”
Nix almost went to his knees and I caught up to him. He and T had arrived just moments before. We’d had a wild goose chase. Following Olin’s plane to the beach house, though it was empty by the time we arrived, took a lot of effort to track. After using some satellite footage, we made it to church. Finally reuniting, but on the scene of our worst fears.
Merck was all business. He was using his police voice and demeanor.
T came out of the church before I realized she’d slipped away. Always under the radar one way or another.
“That’s an older female. Not Ember.” She patted Nix’s shoulder. In her other hand she showed me a handful of Tootsie Roll wrappers.
The adrenaline was a rush; it wasn’t Ember. And then a push because we needed to get to her. Nix beat himself up the whole time, saying he should have believed his gut when she said she was happy with Cosmo—that she wasn’t.
Merck found out where the other female was taken. The cop fluctuated between talking about her in the past tense and present. I saw Merck lean over and ask him softly if she was alive. The cop grimaced, then amended himself, “They haven’t called it yet...so…”
Nix headed to one of the SUVs we had rented, ready to leave. T, Merck, and I rushed over to him. He was driving and we were letting him. Merck fed him the directions from his phone.
When we got to the hospital, Nix ditched the SUV in a set of bushes. No time to park. We hoofed it after him, and I caught up and pulled his hood over his face.
He was clearly beyond reasonable thought when he forgot he was a skeleton to the outside world. I looked at T. One of her hands was balled in a fist.
We all hurried into the elevator together. Merck took the time between the floors to update us. He’d gotten a text from someone in the local police department. “They’ve got one male patient. Young guy. Sounds like your friend Lock. Should we check there first?”
Nix grunted one word, “Ember.”
Merck nodded. After we got off the elevator, Merck went with his police badge to the nurses’ station. He found out Ember had been taken into surgery. She didn’t have updates, but she’d go herself to get one.
The police were posted outside one room, and if I had to guess, I would say that Lock was in there. Merck obviously worked this out as well and asked the cop to let him inside. We followed behind him because we—honestly, as a group—were going crazy. And Nix was almost beyond speech. I was stunned that he wasn’t trying to tear down the walls to get to her.
Lock was sitting up and uttered the same word when he saw Nix’s face and then mine, “Ember?”
Merck took hold of the narrative. “She’s in surgery. We’ll get an update soon. Matter of fact, I’m going to stay in the hallway to make sure the nurse sees where I am.”
I slapped Merck on the back. Having him here was priceless. We would’ve been met with more resistance otherwise. We would’ve found out all this shit anyway, but it would’ve taken time. Better to just point Nix in the right direction.
Lock put his head in his hands before mumbling, “She’s still with us, though. I mean, they’re still working on her.”
Nix walked close to Lock and snaked his skeleton inked hand through his wrists to grab his throat. “You had a job.”
Lock didn’t even flinch at the attempt to hurt him. “She took it upon herself. She snapped. Whatever it was, she just lost it. She was walking down the aisle with Olin, and then she pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the throat. And then I caught her so her head wouldn’t hit the ground. Her wedding dress was bright red. It went from white to red.”
Tears were tracking down his face. He was in the room with us, but clearly his eyes saw the scene all over again.
“It didn’t make sense. She’s pregnant. I never expected…” He stopped talking as Nix’s hand started to close.
I pulled Nix away, having to really force his hand that was an open claw. “Hey, Sweetness. Fenix. She loved him. She was crazy ab
out him.”
I made sure to stay between them, but he stopped fighting to choke Lock to death.
“She was breathing, and then she wasn’t. She told me she loved me. I should’ve known she was saying goodbye. All her fear was gone. She was just Ember again.” Lock sat back in the bed.
T cleared her throat. “What happened exactly?”
Lock gestured past her, and T had to ask the question again.
Finally, he set the scene for us. “It was just Cosmo, Olin, Ann, and me. The rest were guards… I just don’t know where she got the knife… Anyway, so when they saw Ember stab Olin, they opened fire. After I caught her, I stood up. I wanted to die, too. Her lips were so blue. Her breath had stopped. There was so much blood.” Lock looked at his hands. I could see dark red caked under his nails. He seemed to get distracted by it as well.
“I didn’t get to tell her how crazy I was about her. I’m so crazy about her.” Lock tilted his head up to study the ceiling drop tiles.
Nix was curling into a ball, sitting down in the room’s one chair as he did so. There was a ghostly whispering coming from inside his hood. I met T’s eyes across the room.
I mouthed, “Becca,” to her. Nix would need his woman to remember himself. To grieve.
Hell, I’d need mine.
Lock continued, “So I stood up and I wanted to get tagged by the bullets. And Felon, he shot me in the leg. Took me out.”
After T was done texting, she went to Lock and moved his blanket over. She peeled back the bandage to see what his wound looked like. “Felon like you?”
T could’ve punched Lock in the face over and over. I doubt he would feel anything.
Lock shook his head. “I mean, I guess he does. He shot me, though.”
T replaced the bandage. “It was like a surgeon put that bullet in your leg. Best place to get shot. Either you’re real lucky or he could sign his name on somebody’s torso with bullets from 400 paces.”
Lock gazed at his leg despondently. “He’s a genius with a gun.”
T shrugged. “Then he wasn’t trying to kill you.”
Lock looked at her feet. A few Tootsie Roll wrappers had fallen from her hoodie pocket. “Where’d you get those?”
“The church.” T stooped to pick them up.
“That was Felon. He eats one when he kills people.” Lock sighed deeply.
“Damn, son,” was all I had to offer. Because that was pretty fucking specific.
Merck’s voice in the hallway was a distraction. I stepped to the door. The nurse he spoke to before was there with a clipboard. “She’s still in surgery. There’s extensive damage.”
“She’s pregnant,” Lock offered.
T stepped near to Lock. “She wasn’t. We spoke with the nurse at the clinic. Ember was not pregnant. Just said she was to stay alive.”
Lock was crushed.
The nurse absorbed the information and continued, “She was defibrillated twice in the ambulance. She was gone a few times on the table, too. It’s been a lot of blood loss. Just prepare yourselves. We’re doing everything that can be done, though.” The nurse touched Merck’s forearm; he looked like he might pass out.
I stepped next to him and wrapped my arm around him. “She’s a fighter. Understand that.”
Merck leaned inward. I moved past the nurse after Merck rubbed his shoulder against the doorframe. I walked to the waiting room close by and grabbed two chairs, carrying them back to Lock’s room. One for Merck and one for T. We’d be here a while. I’d need another couple chairs. The policemen stationed at the door nodded as I moved past them.
We were going to sit together as the people who loved Ember. And maybe we were going to do some praying.
Chapter 73
Lock
HER BLOOD WAS ON my fingers. Her love was under my skin. There were times in my life I thought I knew pain. The beating into the Cokes comes to mind. Nothing came close to holding her and feeling her soul leave her body.
In front of me was her family. Her brother. Animal. T. There were a lot of mistakes in this room. But I blamed myself the most. Waiting for the perfect moment. Believing she was doing anything but loving everyone here.
I wanted to say we should have moved sooner. Should have coordinated better. But words were just frames around the failures. She was still with us. Still fighting. That’s what the nurse said.
Time never stretched on so long. We saw a rush in the hallway, two nurses running. That had to mean something bad. I wasn’t sure if it was about Ember, but it felt that way.
They said I had blood loss. A nurse came in to take my vitals. I was doing just fine.
But her blood was under my nails.
And her love was under my skin.
Chapter 74
Lock
THIRTEEN HOURS LATER AND she was out of surgery. Ember was still alive. Well, her body was still alive. They had me on pain pills I was against taking. But T had given me a look that made me take them. So I was floating a little bit.
No one was sleeping, but there was pacing, grumbling, and hugging. The fact they stayed with me made me think that they wanted to support me. The other possibility was that her crew was waiting to kill me. They’d be the second to try it in twenty-four hours. Me being the first.
There was a time and place to deal with the fact that I stood up in the middle of a gunfight to try to join Ember. And that Felon shot me to force me back to the ground.
He was gone by the time the ambulances and cops got there. Nix and I quietly worked out that Felon had taken the guys on. That the firefight was likely Felon’s response to the guards taking out Ember.
The surgeon knocked on my doorframe. Everyone in the room stood at attention except me.
She nodded as she walked in. “We’ve got her still. She’s in the recovery room. Her vitals are good.”
The details of the surgery and the cautions issued washed over me. This was stage two, the struggle. She lost enough blood and her heart had stopped long enough that they were monitoring everything. Nix went in to see her first, with a lady named Becca who arrived just behind the surgeon.
Animal stood at the window of my hospital room as morning rose around him. T rubbed his lower back. Merck sat back down in one of the chairs and held his head.
They took turns, Becca swapping out with a new person. And finally, after Merck had been to see her, they offered to move me to a wheelchair to visit her.
They said that she looked as comfortable as possible, but to prepare myself. The nurse helped transfer me out of bed and into my transportation.
Animal handed me the blanket off my bed to cover my legs. A few hallways over and up an elevator, I was wheeled into the room. Nix was holding Ember’s hand, resting his forehead on her knuckles.
She was delicate and healing. The nurse put me on her other side and I touched her arm. The monitors set the tone for the room.
Nix peered over her hand to me. If looks could kill, I would’ve been dead. Clearly, I was to blame for where his sister was. And if he wanted to kill me, I’d be easy pickings.
“She talked about you the last time she and I were together.” My voice was scratchy.
His gaze didn’t soften.
“She said she missed you. And that she was upset that you’d put her kidnapping on yourself.” I cleared my throat to try to get a more manly sound to come out. “She loves you.”
Nix narrowed his eyes, tilted his head forward, and then gazed back at Ember. We were silent for the rest of my visit. I kissed her forearm just before the nurse took me back. I wanted to tell Ember more. That she was amazing, that she was beautiful, that she was brave for trying to protect her family and to take out Olin. But all that would have to wait. Nix wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Chapter 75
Ember
THE DREAM WAS THE realest thing in the world. I was in my bed at Aunt Dor’s house. I looked at my hands. They were smaller than I remembered. I glanced around; the room was different, or ra
ther, looked the way it did before I restyled it in middle school. I sat up and the reflection in the mirror that hung on my closet door was like a video come to life. Fifth grade me.
I lifted my hand and waved, and then mussed up my hair. Yup. It was definitely my reflection. I couldn’t remember what I’d done yesterday. Or what day it was. My pink comforter was soft. And the scent in the air washed over me—my childhood in a wave. Muffins baking somewhere. Nail polish remover was a note in there as well. Aunt Dor was doing her own manicure and making snacks for her book club buddies.
I looked back to the mirror, and the older version of myself was there instead. Standing, walking to the mirror. I was transfixed. Still in my bed. Still young. The closer the older me got, the more I realized it wasn’t me; it was a person who looked just like me.
Mom.
It was my mother. She stepped through the mirror and into my bedroom. My heart swelled with love and welcome.
“Ember. My sweet girl.”
She sat on my bed in a graceful movement and laid her hand on my forehead. I lay back as she tucked the blanket around me.
“Mom?”
She stopped fussing and smiled. “I always wondered what it’d be like to hear you say that. The most beautiful sound.”
I sat back up and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back hard and started rocking as well. An instinctual thing that I’d seen other moms do with their kids.
“I’m so proud of you. You’re strong. And you fight to be happy. I love watching every moment. And I can’t wait to see the rest of it. But you have to take all that fire in you and fight. Right now. Get back to Nix. Get back to Lock.”
I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t know there was a cure for my yearning for a mother. But in that moment, her arms healed me. Centered me. I inhaled. She smelled like cookies and something else…a familiar scent that I couldn’t place.
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