Love Conquers All
Page 8
“Tell me your birthday,” she said, throwing it out as a challenge. If he avoided the question like he had every other time, she would have her answer. They would never be able to make a marriage last, but if he….
“October 15th,” he said without hesitation. His eyes fixed on hers, and she found her resolve melting in their chocolaty depths.
“Let me think about it, Azarius. I know you mean well, but there is still so much I don’t know about you, that we don’t know about each other. What if we get married and hate each other? That wouldn’t be any better for the baby.”
His eyes remained locked on hers, searching her soul. “Okay, take however long you need, but know that I don’t run away from obligations, and whatever it takes, I will make it work.”
Oh, how good his words sounded, and he had given up his birthday, but was it the start of something new or simply because he’d been backed against a wall? She needed time to think, to process, to be sure - if such a thing existed.
Knowing he needed some sort of response, she nodded and hugged him, savoring the security of his arms if only for a moment, before heading back towards her house.
Lanie wandered aimlessly around her house that night. Azarius had stayed another few hours, and they’d cuddled on the couch and watched a movie, but Lanie’s mind had been elsewhere.
Even now, in the stillness of her house, she couldn’t get her mind to stop. Scenario after scenario played through her mind. Maybe a marriage could work. He could move here, or she could move back to Dallas with him, but did she want to move back? Though returning to Star Lake had never been in her plans, there was something about the small-town atmosphere she liked, and she’d enjoyed reconnecting with Layla.
Her eyes fell on her Bible. In the commotion of the last few days, she hadn’t been reading on a daily basis. She picked up the black leather-bound book and held it to her chest. “Lord, I know we didn’t do things right. I understand now why you wanted intimacy to belong in a marriage and not outside of it, but we want to do better. We want what’s best for this child. Please show me what I should do.”
Lanie let the silence cover her, and she listened for that still small voice. The one she could only hear when she was focused and willing to listen.
Chapter 11
“How did meeting the parents go?” Greg asked as Azarius returned that evening.
He fell into the oversized grey chair and collected his thoughts before answering. “I haven’t met a lot of parents in my time, but that was definitely the worst experience. Her father hates me; I have no idea if he will even accept this baby. Her mother seemed nice, but we didn’t chat for long. Oh yeah, and I asked Lanie to elope.”
“What?” The TV picture faded to black, and Greg turned his full attention to Azarius. “You did what?”
Azarius ran his hands over his face. “It just slipped out. Her father was asking if I was going to marry her, and the very word felt like a noose you know? But then Lanie stormed out of the house. I could tell she was upset, and I thought maybe we should get married, and the words just slipped out.”
“What did Lanie say?”
With a sigh, Azarius leaned back and shook his head. “She didn’t jump on the idea. She told me it was an awful proposal, and it was. I keep messing everything up.”
“Yeah, I can’t say that was a great proposal, and my sister said women live for that day, but she ought to give you points for trying.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m not cut out to be married. Maybe Krista was a warning and this botched proposal is another sign.”
]“Don’t say that, man. I know what happened with Krista was hard, but Lanie isn’t Krista. And you want to be a father. You tell me that every time you come back from your sister’s house. You’re ready, even if you don’t think you are.”
Azarius sat forward and dropped his hands. “You’re right. I do want to be a father, and I’m excited about this baby. I’ll just have to figure out a way to make everything else work.”
After dinner that evening, Azarius lay in his bed staring up at the black netting. His life felt out of control, and he wondered if this was why Lanie prayed. Did she find comfort in speaking to God?
Though he felt foolish, he opened his mouth and let the words fall out. “God, I don’t know if you know who I am or even if you listen to people who haven’t been following you, but I’ve messed up, and I’m hoping you can help me right things. I didn’t have a father growing up, but I want to be one to this child. Help me to know what to do for the baby and for Lanie.”
He waited, wanting some audible voice to reassure him, but nothing came. With a sigh, he rolled over on his bed and closed his eyes. Maybe something would come to him in the middle of the night.
No epiphany awaited him in the morning when he awoke, but a message from Lanie blinked on his phone.
-I thought about your offer. Let’s do it. I’ll be there later today.-
Azarius shook his head, wondering what had changed her mind. Deciding he didn’t care, he showered and dressed before heading downstairs.
Sunday was his favorite day, not because he went to church - he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had been - but because it was a day he could rest and not have to worry about work. He liked his job, but the late hours sometimes took a toll on him, and Sundays he claimed entirely for himself. He didn’t even go to the gym on Sundays.
The downstairs was still dark and quiet as he made his way down the narrow steps. Greg usually slept in until mid-morning, so Azarius often had the mornings to himself. Not much of a coffee drinker, he headed straight for the griddle. Pancakes had always been what his mother had made when she had time in the mornings, and he had an affinity for them, but the weekends were the only days he had time to make them.
As he pulled out the large ceramic mixing bowl with a pouring spout, he remembered the last time his mother had made pancakes for him. At only ten, he’d had no idea how sick she was, and she had hidden most of her symptoms well. She’d made the pancakes extra special that day with chocolate chips for his birthday, and they had laughed and told jokes as they ate.
The next morning, he had awoken to a silent house and gone in search of his mother. It wasn’t like her to let him sleep past school time. He had found her still and silent in her bed, and thinking her asleep, he had tried in vain to wake her. When she wouldn’t rouse, he had climbed in bed next to her and cried until his tears ran dry.
The next-door neighbor found him like that a few hours later and gently led him out of the room and to her house. Years later he discovered she had been checking on his mother every day at eleven am for months. She knew to come over when the phone wasn’t answered that day, though he had no memory of it even ringing.
It was only then he understood the cancer his mother had been battling. Not having the money to afford expensive treatments and with a less than stellar chance of living even with the treatments, she had opted to just take medicine to cope with the pain and spend her final days at home with him.
After that, he had been placed into foster care for a time until he met Mary. Mary was a spirited white woman recently married and ready to take on the world. Her marriage hadn’t lasted, but the adoption had and though it had been strange growing up in a white world at first, Azarius had come to appreciate it. Now he had an insight into both cultures that helped him view the world in a different light. Perhaps if more people had his insight, there would be less racial hatred. And Mary was still his best friend and confidant. He told her everything. In fact, he needed to call her this morning and tell her about Lanie.
She already knew a little about Lanie as he had mentioned her the last time they spoke, but that was before the fateful night and definitely before the news of the baby.
He turned his attention to the mixing of the pancake batter, determined to call his mother after breakfast.
The smell of the pancakes woke Greg from his slumber, and he padded down the stairs rubbing sleep from hi
s eyes. Lean and lanky, his baggy sweatpants barely hung on his hips and his loose shirt engulfed his frame. Short spikes of blond hair stuck up all over his head.
“You cooking?” he asked as he stumbled over to the coffee maker and grabbed the pot.
“Yep, you want some?” Azarius flipped the pancakes with a deft motion, keeping the circular shape.
“Of course, but not until I get some coffee. I still don’t understand how you function without it.” Greg filled the pot with water and poured it into the coffee maker and then shuffled to the cupboard for the coffee grounds. A few minutes later the sound of coffee dripping into the glass pot joined the sizzling sound of the pancakes.
Azarius turned the stove off, loaded the pancakes up on a plate, and brought it to the small table. He had to shove some papers to the far back as the table seemed to be the catchall place for all the bills and random papers throughout the week.
As he returned to the kitchen for plates, butter, and syrup, Greg sat at the table with a steaming mug.
“So, Lanie’s coming over later,” Azarius said as he placed a plate in front of Greg. “She agreed to elope, so I’m assuming she’ll stay tonight so we can go tomorrow.”
“That’s good, right?” Greg asked as he stabbed a pancake and dropped it on the plate. “Where are you going to go? The court house?”
“I don’t know. That seems so plain, and I already ruined the proposal for her. I’d like to do something nicer.” He speared his own pancake and scooped out a pat of butter.
“You know, I heard someone at work talking about this bed-and-breakfast that does elopements. They have different packages you can choose from. You want me to find out more about it?”
Azarius nodded as he finished chewing. “Yeah, that would be great. It would be good to do something special for her.”
They finished the rest of breakfast in silence, and then while Greg retired to his second home, the living room couch, Azarius cleaned the table and put the dishes in the sink for later. Then he headed back upstairs to call his mother.
The phone rang only twice before his mother’s voice came through. “Azarius! How are you, son?”
“I’m good, Mother,” he said as he paced his small room, “but I have some news.”
“Oh, yeah? About work?”
Azarius shook his head before remembering his mother couldn’t see him. “No, work is fine.” He adjusted the row of sunglasses on his dresser. “I um got a girl pregnant.”
“Oh, Azarius,” she sighed. “Do you love her at least?”
“I think I do, Mother. She completes me though I didn’t realize it until she left.”
“Wait? She left?”
“She did.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Lanie’s pretty religious, and I think she regretted our night together.”
“So where does that leave you two?”
“When she told me about the baby, I told her I wanted to be a part of his or her life.” Azarius grabbed the pillow with her lingering scent and held it in his lap. “I met her parents. They weren’t exactly pleased.”
“Well, it isn’t the way I would have wanted it to happen for you either, but sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way we hoped. I assume though you will be involved.”
“Of course. I asked her to elope.”
His mother whistled on the other end. “That’s a big step. Are you sure? What about the religious difference? Don’t you think that will cause problems?”
“Actually, Mom, I think there might be something to her relationship with God. I’ve found myself praying the last few days, and while I haven’t heard an audible answer, I feel different.”
“Well, if it makes you happy, I’ll support you. So, tell me about this girl who managed to snag your heart.”
Azarius smiled as he began discussing Lanie’s finer points. “She was in radio when I met her, though she recently got out of that for the time being, but she has the most beautiful voice and smile. Whenever I’m feeling down, all she has to do is smile at me and everything just seems better.”
“She sounds lovely, and I can’t wait to meet her. And Azarius… I applaud you taking responsibility for your actions. Your mama would have been proud.”
Tears pricked his eyes at the mention of his mama, who would never get to meet Lanie. However, maybe she was up in heaven looking down on him. While Azarius wasn’t sure of her religious status, he did remember going to church with her on occasion and she had been the one who told him about God in the first place, so perhaps she had been a believer.
“Thanks Mom. I’m sure you’ll get to meet her and your grandchild soon.”
Azarius smiled as he ended the call. His mother might not be typical, but he loved the fact that she always supported him, and somehow, he knew that when they met, Lanie and his mother would get along well.
Lanie’s stomach knotted as she pulled up to Azarius’s apartment. Was she really going to go through with this? Even though she knew Texas had a seventy-two-hour waiting list - she’d researched it extensively the last few days - she was here to get the ball rolling as both parties had to be present to sign for the marriage certificate.
She had never expected to be eloping, but she’d had the big wedding once already and it hadn’t turned out as planned. Maybe eloping wouldn’t be bad, and at least it would keep the stares she feared from coming. Even though it was a quick marriage, at least she would be married when she started to show. Lanie just hoped her parents would forgive her one day.
Grabbing her overnight bag from the passenger seat, she exited the car, took a deep breath, and locked the door. She hadn’t planned on staying with Azarius again until after they were married, but they would need to hit the courthouse early tomorrow for her to get back to work in time, and money was still tight.
The chime of the doorbell echoed and fell silent. Then footsteps sounded, and the door opened. Greg smiled at her from the other side.
“Hey, Lanie, long time no see.”
Lanie returned the smile. Though they had only had the one heart to heart session, they had spoken by text a few other times and Lanie considered Greg a friend. “I know. I’m sorry.” She shrugged. “Things got complicated.”
“Well, at least you know he’s serious now.”
“Yeah, I guess. He upstairs?”
Greg nodded and motioned up the stairs. Lanie leaned in for a quick hug before tackling the ten short steps to the second floor.
Azarius’s door was closed, but that wasn’t unusual. He didn’t like people in his room most days, but he had given her the green light to enter whenever.
The room was barely lit as she entered. Only the glow from the television that seemed to constantly play eighties videos lit the room. Azarius looked up from the far side of the bed where he was packing a bag.
“Hi, you ready?”
Lanie blinked in confusion. “Ready? Ready for what?”
A slow smile spread across Azarius’s handsome features. “It’s a surprise. Did you bring a dress?”
“No, I didn’t figure I’d need one to go to city hall. You do know we can’t get married for another three days…”
“Oh, but we can.” He closed the bag and came around the bed to grab her hands, lacing his fingers through hers. “Greg found a bed-and-breakfast in Oklahoma that performs ceremonies with no wait.”
“What?” Though he was speaking English, Lanie couldn’t comprehend the words.
“We can get married tonight. We’ll even stop at a dress shop on the way, and I’ll buy you a dress. It will be my gift to you.”
“Tonight?”
“Yes, tonight. Say you will, Lanie. It’s only a four-hour drive.”
Lanie opened her mouth to answer, but words failed her. She had accepted the idea of being married again next weekend, but tonight? Azarius’s chocolate brown eyes pulled her in, and she nodded. “Okay, let’s do it.”
A large smile broke out on his face, and he grabbed her face and pulled her in for a quick kiss. �
��Great. Do you have your divorce papers?”
“Yes, they’re in my bag,” Lanie said, patting the overnight bag.
“Good, mine too.”
Lanie blinked at him. “Wait, you were married before?”
Azarius nodded. “It was finalized a year ago, but we had been separated years before that.”
Another seed of doubt sprouted in Lanie’s mind. What else was she going to find out about him? “How did I never know you were married?”
“Because I never told you. I don’t talk about it much.”
“But, don’t you think that was important? How long were you married?”
“Five years, but we only lived together for three. Krista is partly why I’m so guarded about relationships.” Azarius sat on the bed and patted the spot beside him. “Sit. I’ll tell you about her. I can see you are curious and I don’t want to start our marriage with this hanging over our heads. I promised to try to be more open, so I might as well start with this.”
Lanie dropped her bag on the floor and sat down next to Azarius. He shifted slightly to face her and grabbed her hands.
“I don’t know if I ever told you, but I liked you from the moment I saw you. I wanted to ask you out at the radio station, but before I got the nerve, you announced your engagement to Denny. It’s stupid, but I kept hoping you would break it off, but when you got married, I had to leave.”
“You left because of me?” Lanie had never known he had feelings for her back then, though he had said a few statements that had made her think he had.
Azarius nodded. “I was blindsided by your engagement, and I wanted you to be happy, but I couldn’t stick around to watch it. It hurt too much, you know?”