Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

  I went back to my bed and grabbed my backpack, filled with everything I needed for the day.

  "Any people I should avoid," Laura asked. Her shoes were on now and she stood up to go.

  "Emily Becker, she likes to suck in all the new girls and then screw them over.”

  "What?" Laura laughed adorably. "Screw them over how?"

  As we walked out of the room she turned and walked backwards so she could see me as she walked.

  "Literally, she'll try to hook up with you just to see if she can and if you do it she drops you after a week. If you don't, she starts crap with you.”

  I reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from running straight into the side of a pillar.

  "Hey, I don't want to have to take you to the infirmary on your first day," I laughed.

  I didn't let go of her arm right away. It wasn't something I thought about. It hit me after a few seconds though and I let her go.

  "Whoa," she said, surprised by the near miss. Her hand had clamped onto mine on her skin before but she didn't seem to be aware of it. "Uh. I gotta say, I didn't have you pegged as a gay hater. Did you learn that stuff the hard way?" She was in no rush to get to breakfast, perfectly content to dawdle all the way. Her smile was infectious and her eyes stared right into mine, void of fear and open to finding me out.

  I snorted. "I'm not a gay hater. I just don't like people that play games for no reason other than their own amusement. I did not get caught in that trap. Anyway, I'm way more gay than Emily “gay till graduation” Becker ever could be," I shared.

  "Oh wow," Laura laughed. "Way more gay," she repeated, pushing against me on purpose to tease me. "I'll watch out. Good to know."

  I laughed and pushed my body back into hers enough to make us bounce against one another. She was cute and I appreciated her sense of humor. Nothing broke up awkward like laughing.

  “Annnnyway, I also recommend staying away from the ham at breakfast. It’s disgusting,” I said.

  We walked along the path until we got to the dining hall and entered to find it full and buzzing. We were about ten minutes later than I normally was so the line was decently long. I led her over to the line and grabbed a tray, handing her one and waiting to get to the first food section.

  “Charles, Charles, Charles,” Lindsey said, swaggering up next to us with her cocky-ass smile. “Why art thou so late this morning?”

  I laughed and gave Lindsey a once over.

  “We aren’t that late,” I said.

  “Yeah, we waited for you outside till Abs got worried that she’d miss the first cinnamon rolls and I’m guessing this is your new roommate? Hi, I’m Lindsey Vaughn, Charli’s very best friend in the world.”

  “One of my best friends,” I corrected.

  “Details,” Lindsey sighed.

  “Anyway, I’m sure Charli will make formal introductions after you get to the table but I wanted to give her a hard time first. See ya in a few,” Lindsey said.

  She was gone in a flash, walking back over to where Abby sat with some other girls that were in our wider friend group.

  “Sorry about that, she’s a little dramatic at times.”

  "Yeah," Laura laughed, confused by the brief intrusion.

  I got eggs, a bagel, and some milk and waited on Laura to finish choosing her meal. The line moved pretty fast and I think she was overwhelmed with the choices and probably everything in general.

  I stole glances of her while we walked to the table and when we got there I stopped and looked at everyone. A few of the girls had left.

  "Everyone this is Laura, and Laura this is Abby, Lindsey, Sephanie, Anna, and Audra," I said.

  I sat down beside Lindsey and Laura sat down beside me.

  "Nice to meet you," Abby said, checking Laura out. "I love your hair."

  "Aw, thanks," Laura smiled, a little embarrassed.

  "I wish I could have hair that color," Audra said.

  "Why can't you?" Laura asked.

  Audra patted her jet black hair.

  "My parents would kill me and I'd be too afraid of bleaching it too much," she said.

  "Aw, one day maybe," Laura said.

  "Yeah, maybe when my parents go blind and my grandmother is dead," Audra laughed.

  "It looks really good on you. You look like a Nordic princess in a fairy tale," I said.

  "Wow," Lindsey said, giving me a look.

  My cheeks ran warm and I looked down at my tray. Lindsey did that sometimes, called me out in a backwards way around our friends.

  "No, she's right! You're like a pretty fairytale girl but, you know, without all the damsel in distress parts," Abby said.

  "Thanks," Laura blushed.

  "So, how did you end up in this hell hole?" Lindsey asked.

  I ate my breakfast and kept quiet. Last night it seemed like Laura didn't want to talk about this but I was still curious to know.

  "Oh you know. Did something bad," Laura laughed. Her gaze slipped over to mine and she smirked apologetically.

  "Like what?" Lindsey asked.

  "Nothing I'm proud of," Laura answered sadly. "Doesn't matter anyways. My parents were looking for a reason."

  "Ah, a bad girl," Lindsey said.

  "Stop being silly. Leave her be," I said.

  "I was just kidding. Calm down," Lindsey snapped.

  I caught Lindsey and Abby looking at me and then giving one another looks but I ignored them.

  "They got what they wanted. Just not sure it makes much of a difference," Laura explained.

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  "They want me to be a different person," Laura explained. "Trapping me here doesn't change who I am."

  "True. I'm sorry. Family is hard.”

  "Yeah," Laura said, down on herself.

  "But if you have to be stuck here at least you're with us," Abby pointed out.

  "We have a pretty good group but most of us are on the soccer team together so you might have to listen to some of that.”

  "Maybe you can teach me some," Laura said, looking over at me. "I've never been good at sports."

  "Really? Uh, sure, we can teach you. What do you like to do?" I asked.

  “What do you mean,” Laura laughed and looked between us. “Like, in general?” She asked, a little confused.

  "Hobbies or whatever," I explained.

  “Uh,” she laughed nervously. “I’m not like you guys. All this over-achieving, academic excellence stuff doesn’t even make sense to me. I don’t even deserve to be here,” she laughed.

  "That's not true. Some people here have terrible grades, it's just their parents have the money to keep them here," I said.

  “If they want to be here they deserve to be here,” Laura said patiently. “I’ve never really tried for any of this stuff so, at this point it's unfair for me and the school.”

  "Well, you're here so might as well make the best of it," Abby said.

  Laura looked over at Abby inquisitively, like she was thinking about possibly saying something but then she smiled and let whatever it was fade. She glanced over at me and went back to eating her food.

  "It pisses me off when people buy their way through school. Then they buy their way into college when they don't even want to go. Their parents just want them to have it on their resume," I said.

  “You grandstanding?” Laura quietly teased me. It made her smile to do it.

  I didn't even know how to respond to that. My eyebrow quirked up and I smirked.

  "Yes, that's exactly it," I joked.

  “Riiiight, right, right, right,” she nodded. I wasn’t sure but she might actually like me. At least, she was teasing me in this way that made butterflies fly around inside my stomach.

  She ate and looked down at her food. The conversation with my friend’s was not holding her.

  I finished eating all of my food and pushed my tray up so I could lean on the table.

  "Do you want me to show you where your class is or am I hovering too much? My friend
s always accuse me off that.”

  “Weird,” Laura teased, watching me. She didn’t exactly answer me and it was probably awkward for everyone else. “You can show me,” she eventually decided. Whenever she gave me her eyes it was like I’d been starved for them.

  "Well, I'm glad I have your permission," I teased.

  I couldn't help but smile. I drank the rest of my milk and listened to the pieces of conversations around me.

  Laura mainly kept to herself and tried not to look at anyone. When she finished her meal she looked around for the trash and got up.

  I followed her and showed her where to put her tray. My focus turned to not hovering over her. She didn't seem to mind too much but I felt obligated to help her learn her way around. Plus, she was nice and funny. I hadn’t found any negatives in her character.

  "We have about fifteen minutes until the first bell. We can go down to the building where all the senior classes are held.”

  "Cool," she nodded. Silence didn't frighten her, she sat inside of it in a way I admired.

  We walked out of the dining hall and walked up the hill to the biggest building on campus.

  "All your classes should be here unless you have PE, that's in the gym," I said.

  We made it to the smaller side door. I opened it for her and waited for her to go through.

  "You'll get sick of this place very quickly but that's probably true of everywhere on campus.”

  "Yeah," she laughed, looking around at the people as we stood together outside. "Kinda wish I didn't have to go in there."

  "If you get it over with I'll show you how to get the dining hall ladies to give you extra ice cream at dinner.”

  I gave her a calculated smile and winked.

  “And here they said this wouldn't be at all like prison,” she joked nervously. Her feet inched closer to mine and I felt her fingers carefully reach in and stroke the outside of my arm. “Hey, um. Thanks,” she said awkwardly. “For.. At least, trying to get me to not hate this place. You’ve been really sweet.”

  When she stared at me, her eyes were wide open and addicting. She bit her bottom lip and seemed haunted and nervous about everything.

  "You're welcome and this place is okay once you get to know it. I can't imagine being ripped out of my life and being put somewhere away from everything I know. But hey, I'll see you at lunch maybe," I said.

  "Yeah," Laura nodded and breathed. "Guess I'll catch you later."

  "Okay, later," I said.

  I left her outside her classroom and walked towards mine. I had to go one floor up and on the other side of the building. I almost looked back but I stopped myself.

  All the way to my class I kept thinking about Laura and why her parents could have sent her here. She seemed normal. Maybe I was just seeing the surface so far.

  I was almost to my destination when a hand appeared and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop.

  "You okay, Charles?" Lindsey asked. "You were walking like a zombie. You didn't even see us.”

  I frowned and freed my arm from her clutches. I hated being wrenched to awareness when I'd spaced out. It always felt like waking up all over again.

  "I was just thinking," I said.

  Abby started walking towards our class and Lindsey followed. I brought up the rear.

  "Thinking about your new crush?" Lindsey asked.

  "What? Who? I don't have a crush," I answered.

  My eyebrows shot up and I looked from Abby to Lindsey and back again.

  "You and your new roomie. You were totally flirting at breakfast," Lindsey claimed.

  "We were not. I barely talked," I shot back.

  "Leave her alone, Lindsey," Abby warned.

  "It was obvious," Lindsey insisted.

  "You're imagining things again," I laughed.

  "Umm, I hate to jump on you but you were kind of different with her, just a vibe I got," Abby added.

  "For real?!" I shook my head as we entered the classroom. "You two are crazy."

  My best friends had been trying to hook me up for years but I'd been happy when they stopped last summer. I agreed to one blind date and ten minutes into that disaster, it was over. I left and the girl ended up leaving with some guy at the bar. I only knew that because we'd added each other on Instagram and she posted a story about the loser she had been on a date with.

  It made me mad because she was obviously the one that was lame but that was the last time Abby and Lindsey tried to get me to go out with anyone.

  Now, they thought I liked Laura? We had known each other for less than twenty-four hours. There's no way I could have a crush that fast.

  Chapter 8

  Every class I entered was a nightmare. All the girls watched and stared at me the entire time, whispering things, making whistling sounds, and even laughing.

  I couldn't blame them really. I'd do the same thing if someone new just showed up out of the blue. It was something to talk about, something to distract from the mundane.

  But Hanover was absolutely nothing like Green Valley. People here raised their hands when the teachers asked questions. It wasn't the same person answering over and over or the long awkward pause where absolutely no one would answer and we'd all feel annoyed that class was awkward every day. People here answered questions like they were pulling triggers on loaded guns. There was no more hesitation just determination and it was really creepy and foreign to me.

  Between the smart young women and the cocky female teachers who all seemed to know they were the best, Hanover packed a lot into a class. So much so that I hardly retained anything. I was grasping at straws, finding a new fact and trying to hold it. Soon as I learned it, it was gone.

  The other girls were really brave and really smart and they all got along like this was some giant girl scout troop that I hadn't exactly been invited too. It was really unfair.

  A few of the teachers introduced me to everyone. A couple, of course, made this harder for me. My chest hurt as I walked to the front of the classrooms, said the bare minimum about where I had come from and why I was here.

  A couple of the girls really left a mark with how they laughed or how they stared. And some seemed really sweet but the mutterings were hard to miss.

  I couldn't wait for lunch and when it came I raced out of class and snuck outside to the back of some random building where I could be free.

  The breeze was loud, knocking me so much that I decided to sit down.

  We weren't supposed to have phones until the lessons ended and I'd left my cigarettes in my bigger bag back in the room.

  I was cold. Sad.

  I spent the entire break trying not to cry and I didn’t even try to eat because eating meant being on display again like some fucked up animal or a freak in a traveling carnival.

  A couple girls came over and talked to me near the end of things but I really wish they hadn't. Given what had happened, I really wasn't interested in making new friends.

  When I got to the last class of the day I'd already forgotten that Charli shared it.

  "Oh, look at you," a gorgeous older woman said. I knew she must be the teacher, no one else was older in this room. Some of the other rooms did have teacher aids but she didn't seem like she was waiting for anyone. "You must be the transfer. Here, come sit by me."

  She had a large wooden desk and she walked around to the back of it and pulled out her wooden swivel chair in an attempt to get me to sit down.

  I'd noticed Charli but felt a shiver when the teacher quickly took hold of my attention.

  I followed the woman's wishes and tried not to stare at the way her tight skirt hugged her hips or the way her blouse hung open a little too far for a place like this.

  Charli was right. Ms. Rosewell was a fox. I could easily see her posed up for a pin-up shot.

  "Are you sure it's okay I sit here?”

  "Oh sweetie. Of course it's okay. I'd feel terrible if you had to sit in the back. That's not fair to you. And you're terribly beautiful. Everyone should
see."

  I laughed and felt the heat in my cheeks. "Thanks," I said, knowing full well that she was just trying to make me feel better.

  I'd spent most of the day trying not to look like I felt. Of course, I felt like someone had run over my cat. This was the first time since I left Charli that I actually felt a little better again.

  "Alright class, quiet quiet. Quiet down," Ms. Rosewell sweetly urged. Her voice was just butter. "We have a new addition."

  "Yeah we know!" A girl yelled.

  Laughter sprinkled throughout the room. I sat back in the teacher's chair and tried not to look like some holier than thou asswad.

  "Aw come on Ms. Rosewell, leave Laura alone. She's had to introduce herself in every class now."

  "Is that so?" Ms. Rosewell asked, turning to me with a bit of a shock.

  "It is," I laughed.

  Everyone else actually laughed with me for once.

  "Heavens," Ms. Rosewell breathed. "Well then, fine. You don't have to introduce yourself again. But do you like Gothic Literature?"

  "Um. I think so," I shrugged.

  "You think so," Ms. Rosewell repeated. She sat down on the edge of the desk just in front of me and faced the class.

  My gaze drifted to Charli. She was there, and also, I missed her. Everyone else was just a stranger to me.

  "See, most people clearly know what they like and what they don't like," Ms. Rosewell said. "But I suppose it makes you mysterious Laura. Not to know. And not to say."

  I swallowed in my throat, thinking about all the days there were in each week and all the classes in each day.

  "You'll know soon enough," Ms. Rosewell comforted. "I find it charming. That you don't yet know."

  She'd been talking to me but every single person in the class had been aptly listening and mostly staring at me.

  "Now!" Ms. Rosewell said. "Where did we leave off yesterday?"

  And like that the heat was quickly transferred from off of me. I swallowed and listened as Ms. Rosewell weaved an intensely dark tale. The language did appeal to me. I liked poetry and dark things.

  At least three times I zoned out and snapped out of it by looking up at Charli, noticing her lips and her eyes.