"Apparently, Lindsey and Abby are fighting. I'm really glad I wasn't there today. Except, I feel bad about Abby. She came over looking for me. Whatever,” Charli sighed.
She had her phone in her hand and she was frowning at it.
"I don't get it," I said. "Why be with someone if all you do is fight? Vic and Pete are like that. Drives me nuts."
The sand was thick and we slowly trudged through it, losing our balance here and there.
"No idea but I think it just makes life harder. I could never fight with someone like that.”
"It's fucked up," I muttered. But then being upset and not fighting was also a mess.
We got to the wooden stairs and awkwardly climbed them.
"I'd rather talk through things,” Charli breathed.
I laughed and smiled over at her. "Yeah, I kinda doubt you fight with people."
"I shut down and have to go away if people start yelling," she revealed.
"Yeah," I laughed. "You would not survive at Green Valley High."
Public school was a bit of a beast.
"Do people yell at you there?"
"Oh yeah," I laughed. "Teachers yell, kids yell… My friends yell," I smiled. "I'm kinda used to the yelling."
We got to the road and started to walk in the direction of the diner.
Going back was a little depressing but it was only because the wind had blown from my sails. This week had taught me that maybe the things I wanted didn't actually matter. And maybe the things I usually did weren't even a little bit important.
"As in yelling to argue or just being loud? Either way I'm not here for it," Charli said with a laugh.
"Yeah," I laughed. "Both, so… Hanover's a lot different. A lot more civil."
"Well, during the day. Sometimes it gets wild at night.”
"Haven't seen much of that," I smirked.
"I can take you, if you want.”
I saw her take out her phone and open the Uber app.
"Take me where?"
"Take you to one of the undercover parties," she said.
I looked over at her, a little confused. "I thought you didn't like that stuff."
A car horn honked three times rapidly and I jumped as tires rolled a little too close to me. The wheels jerked to a stop and I knew I had to face a few things as the driver's door opened and an angry Vic got out and threw her arms out. "Okay wow. Could you be any harder to find?"
I looked to Charli nervously. "Vic, hey," I said, uncomfortable. I hadn't seen her in a week but it felt like a year. She wrapped me up in a hug and I held at her body loosely.
"Seriously Lo, what the hell?" She held me protectively.
"I couldn't get away," I spoke softly. There really was no point in even trying, my parents had won.
Above us, the loud crack and rumble of thunder cut through the sky. Sometimes nature had such a violent freedom. Alone, in its cavity, my heart shook. All three of us stared upwards and, like a sign from the gods, a hard rain began to rapidly fall.
"Fuck," I grumbled.
"Get in!" Vic urged.
Charli looked at me and shrugged.
"Should we?" She asked.
My heart sank a little but the rain was escalating, becoming a game-changer. We’d have to get inside either way and, ready or not, I needed to talk to my friend. "Come on," I said, opening the back door to Vic's car and asking Charli to get in. We could always have Vic drop us. I just knew that Vic had her own plans in mind. If she was waiting for me it was because she wanted to see me.
Charli got in and slid across the back seat, dragging her bag with her and placing it on the floorboard between her legs.
I climbed in beside her and shut the door. The rain has soaked me and I shivered.
"Guess you're sitting back there," Vic poked.
"This is Charli," I said.
"Yeah, I'm aware," Victoria said. "Hey." Vic shifted her eyes and nodded in the mirror instead of turning around.
Then she started her engine and shifted her car into drive. "We have to get back," I said earnestly. "I wasn't even supposed to leave. My parents told Serena to hold me as hostage."
"Who's Serena?"
"She's like a chaperone for our dorm."
"She stopped us on the way out. She's usually really cool but if she's trying to impress parents she can be like that," Charli explained.
"Sounds pathetic," Vic muttered.
We were out on the road and where she was driving I couldn't say.
"The lady at the school said you went to the beach," Vic mentioned.
"How long have you been here."
"Two hours," Vic said.
"Shit…"
"Whatever," she said but I knew Vic and I knew she probably wasn't too happy about that. "So, what. You just… want me to take you back?"
"We were going to go to the store,” Charli said.
"The store," she asked, staring into my eyes in the mirror. I stared at her, easily taken. When was I supposed to have time to talk to her? We needed to be alone to talk. At Hanover, I was never alone.
I swallowed and looked down at my hands. "Please?"
"Okay," Vic said. "Which store?"
"Take a left at the light and you'll see the grocery store a quarter mile down on the right," Charli spoke.
I looked over at her and forced a weak smile.
"Logan's been asking about you," Vic said.
I breathed through my nose. "Why are you so worried about him?"
"Because he's a good guy," Vic said. "He's sweet and he's always been good to you. Most guys aren't like that."
I didn't want to talk about Logan. Why did Vic always want to talk about Logan?
"I miss you more than him," I reminded. But I knew how she was so I didn't look at her as I said it.
"You should come with me to Pete's house tonight."
"I can't." I needed to put up a hard wall. Saying yes had gotten me here. Trapped. And alone.
"You can't tell me people don't sneak out of that place," Vic said. "We've seen those girls out before."
"I don't want to talk to my parents Vic."
"So what? This is it then? You're just done with being my best friend?"
"Vic, I didn't say that." What the hell?
"What the hell happened to you Lo?"
I felt my eyebrows knit together. I wanted to crawl into a hole.
"Fucking talk to me," she near yelled.
My eyes shut tight and I felt frustrated. "Can you just for one second imagine what it's been like for me.”
It was bad. My anger was getting to me.
I looked to Charli, frightened that I scared her.
"Jesus Lo. If you hate me you can just say so. That's fine."
"I don't hate you," I mumbled.
We pulled up to the store and Vic stopped at the curb which meant she wasn't planning on getting out.
"Sure as shit feels like you do," Vic mumbled back.
My throat hurt and I wanted to cry. I leaned over to Charli and touched her hand. "You go in ahead. We need to talk out here."
"Wow, look who suddenly has time for me," Vic mocked.
"Stop," I bullied her.
Worriedly, I looked back at Charli and wondered if this would scare her off of her interest in me.
"Are you sure?" Charli whispered. "I can stay."
"It's fine," I smiled and tried to shake it off. "I'll be in, in a minute."
To hurry things along, I looked to Vic and got out of the back to join her in the front.
Charli looked at me with sad eyes and a frown for a second before switching her gaze to Vic.
"I'll just be right over there," Charli said and pointed to a bench near the door to the store.
"Kay," I said, locking eyes with her to try and tell her she had no need to worry but her eyes were on Vic and Vic was very easily ignoring her.
Once she'd gone, I turned in my chair to face my best friend.
"What's going on with you?" She beat me to speaking.
"I dunno," I said, watching her, worried.
"Where's your phone?"
"Uh…" I reached down into my bag but Vic reached over and fought the phone out from inside it.
"Its dead," I shrugged.
She clicked the little button on the side. It lit up and flashed on, which made her throw the phone back at my bag.
"Get out."
"What?"
"You fucking heard me. Get out," she said. Then she lunged over my lap and used both her hands to push my door open before she started to physically push me.
Annoyed, I pushed her back and tugged the door shut, aggressively locking myself inside.
"You're acting like this is my fault," I said. "It's not my fault. I didn't do this. I didn't ask for this."
"Hey!" Charli came up to the car and looked in. "Are you okay?" She asked me.
Vic scoffed and started to laugh. I sighed and rolled the window down. "Char… We really need to talk. It's gonna be a minute. You should shop. I'll be in soon. I promise."
"What does she think is going to happen?" Vic asked.
"Shh," I said, wanting this done. Charli was staring at Vic like she wanted to murder her. This was new.
Right now I was in two worlds and I had no control.
"Go inside," Vic told Charli. "She asked you to go."
I licked my lips and shook my head. At this point they were both annoying me.
"I saw you push her. If you do it again I'll kick your ass," Charli said.
Her voice was ice cold. I didn't know she could get like this.
"Wa-how," Vic laughed. "You wanna go?"
Vic loved a fight but Charli didn't know that, I hadn’t explained.
"No," I said, turning to Vic and pressing the button below the window so that it would start to roll up.
"You don't want to fight me," Charli said just before the window closed.
She stood there, staring at me for a moment before storming off into the store.
Vic laughed.
"Jesus," I huffed, annoyed. It confused me, to see Charli so mad.
"Calm down," Vic chuckled. "That girl has never been in a real fight in her life."
"Yeah, okay," my voice cracked. "And maybe I don't want her to be."
"Lo, what the hell," Vic groaned.
"I can't just leave Hanover," I freaked. "I'm stuck in there Vic. Why aren't you listening to me?!"
"Cause it fucking sucks!" She screamed back.
We sat close and breathed hard as the rain pounded down on the thick metal of her car.
"I've been waiting for you every day," Vic said. "Hoping."
I ran my hand down her arm and she shrugged it off almost violently.
I swallowed and felt lost. My hand hurt for no good reason. It was like it could feel the rejection, like it ran through it as poisoned blood.
"Why do you want me with Logan so bad?" I was going to keep asking her until she caved and told me the truth.
"You like Logan," she said.
"Yeah, sure," I sighed. "As a friend. Vic, come on, why can't we talk about-"
"You should check on your friend," Vic cut me off.
"I miss you," I said, touching my hand down onto her leg.
She took my hand in hers and squeezed it to mildly hurt me. “Ow,” I grumbled, low.
"If you really missed me you would have called me today-"
"I was going to," I fought. "You're usually asleep until two."
"Yeah well, I actually missed you Laura so I couldn't fucking sleep and I couldn’t fucking focus when I was with anyone else. Is that what you want me to say?"
She was mad.
"I'm sorry," I said, sad.
"I guess we need some time apart."
"No," I felt burned. "Vic, I don't get it. This isn't my fault," I instantly cried. "I-"
"Go," Vic said. She wouldn't even look at me and I knew I fucked up and I caused this.
"What can I do," I wondered.
"Just go," Vic said. "I'm too angry to even talk to you."
We didn't fight much. We were usually best friends.
I opened the door and got out, fetching mine and Charli's things from the back.
Before I even rightly left the car Vic gunned the gas and ripped herself away from my life again.
I wanted to die.
I squat down beneath the overhang and held the back of my neck in both of my hands while I gave in and wept. My life wasn't mine anymore and the only person I wanted now honestly hated me.
I'd go find Charli in a minute. Right now, I just needed to breathe.
Chapter 13
I couldn't focus, I was so mad for the first minute. I walked around the store with no real purpose. Five minutes in I deflated and started to pace in the produce section, picking apart my reaction and what I'd just seen.
Never in my life had I threatened someone like that. I'd meant it. The moment I realized what I'd said, I knew I'd have gone through with it. I would have fought anything or anyone.
Laura had been pushing Vic back but in that situation, all I cared about was defending her. Regardless of what Laura had needed from me, I was just pissed. When she rolled the window up it made my head feel like it was going to explode.
Now that I was less heated, I picked up a basket and filled it with some apples and oranges, moving on to other parts of the store. I grabbed some sparkling water, granola bars, brownies, and a bag of pretzels. A display stopped me and on it I saw inexpensive charms and bracelets.
It was one of those little areas with random items that every grocery store had. I couldn't help stopping to look. On one side there was a silver charm in the shape of a birdcage. In the middle was a little silver bird. It looked trapped and I wanted to set it free.
I hated when people kept birds in cages. It seemed so wrong and against nature. My grandmother had been such an animal lover and my favorite memory of her was helping her nurse a crow with a broken wing back to health the summer I turned thirteen.
I took the charm and one of the silver bracelets and went up to pay for my things. The cashier handed me my two bags and I left, looking for Vic's car but finding nothing where it had been earlier.
I looked around the parking lot but the car was nowhere. When I glanced to my right I did a double take and found Laura sitting on the ground by an ice freezer.
"Hey," I said, walking over. She was crying, sad. "Where did she go?" I asked.
Laura sniffled and wiped her nose on her hoodie sleeve. "It doesn't matter," she whispered, broken.
I sat down beside her and put the bags on the ground. She looked so sad. I put my arm around her and gave her a side hug.
"I'm sorry," I said.
She slowly moved my arm off of her and stood. "I need to use the restroom," she said, leaving me.
I watched her walk inside and then got up and took all our stuff over to the bench by the door.
This situation was totally screwed and Vic was a bitch. The way she talked to Laura was so wrong. It felt manipulative but I didn't know her. I didn't even know Laura so who the hell was I to be in this?
I took my phone out of my pocket, ordered the Uber, and then checked my messages. There were a few from Abby and Lindsey and one from another friend.
I texted Abby back, telling her we would be on campus soon and then I just waited for Laura and the car. My whole life seemed to consist of me waiting for something to happen.
I didn’t pay attention to time. I just waited until she reappeared. She had a few bags in her hands.
“The Uber will be here soon,” I said.
"Thanks," she said, avoiding eye contact and trying to act fine.
“Do you want to talk about it or not?”
"I dunno," she said. "What do you want," she wondered nervously. It kinda killed me that she couldn’t even look at me. It was so the opposite of how we usually were.
“I want to apologize. I saw her push you and I just got so mad.”
"Yeah," she laughed a l
ittle but I knew she was upset. "Well, I'm sorry too. I wish you didn't have to see that."
“What happened?” I asked.
She was so far away. All the time we’d been hanging out I felt us on the same page, enjoying each other’s company. Then, Vic came along and screwed that up. I already didn’t like her. Even her name made me want to punch a wall.
"What do you mean?" Laura asked. "I've been like a stranger. I keep standing her up."
“Seems like she vastly overreacted to me. She could have told you she was hurt in a way that didn’t include trying to shove you out of her car.”
"She was mad," Laura said, curiously watching me while still inside her weird funk. "Not everyone handles problems the same way."
“No, they don’t but being mad doesn’t mean you get to abuse someone.”
"I wasn't in danger Charli," Laura said, watching me.
“There’s no excuse for that behavior. It’s not my business so I’ll shut up after this but that’s my opinion.”
"I get that you're upset that she touched me," Laura said.
“Not just touched you. It was the way she spoke to you. It wasn’t how I would ever speak to my best friend.”
"Are you.. Trying to make me feel more like shit here, or what?" Laura asked, a little hurt by my words. "I already know you don't like shit like that."
“No, I’m not. I was just trying to say that she shouldn’t talk to you like that.”
I looked out at the street, hoping that the Uber would show and break the tension. I hated this. My head was full of so many things now. It was too much.
Laura was quiet, she obviously didn't know what to say. “Do you want me to get my own car,” she asked.
“No, of course not. I’m not mad at you or anything,” I said.
“Well, I can, if you want. It's no problem.”
“I don’t want,” I said. “I want you to go with me. I’m sorry if I gave you a different impression. I just feel like… I don’t know. We haven’t known each other that long but I don’t like when people are bitches to people I like.”
Love Like Crazy Page 12
