Love Like Crazy

by Emma Chamberlain

  "You never said anything," she reminded, smiling.

  “I was trying to be cool and not tell you all the things I think about you on a daily basis. I was afraid it would freak you out and you’d run away. I’ll tell you now though,” I said.

  "We'll see," Laura said.

  “You didn’t tell me how you felt about me either. How do I know you weren’t checking out my butt too,” I said.

  "I tell you things like that all the time," Laura said.

  “What’s the last thing like that you told me? Before tonight, I mean.”

  "How pretty you are," she said. "How you smell good and I miss you and I love when you touch me."

  “Ah, okay, fair enough,” I said.

  "Did you need more?" She wondered.

  “No, I just have oddly specific lists about you in my head. I didn’t know if that was just a me thing or a being in love thing,” I revealed.

  "Take your time," she said. "Just don't screw around with me like it doesn't hurt."

  “Uh no, I promise,” I said.

  I knew I’d do my best to keep that promise because I never wanted to hurt her again. I knew that was virtually impossible because there would be misunderstandings and that kind of thing but never again in a major way. I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing it. All this emotional stuff and feelings were confusing as hell. I didn’t get people when they weren’t involved so I felt screwed.

  Tonight, not so much. I got to kiss Laura and touch her. We were in this new place. I didn’t know what it was yet but it was a dream come true. I’d been pining for so long that it seemed unreal to me that it was true.

  We kissed some more and just talked, which was amazing. It was so clear that we’d both been holding back just a little, unsure about what was going on. It felt good to let things out and say everything on my mind. It felt even better to touch and kiss her however I wanted. She was so sensitive. It was easy to do too much, too quickly. I made myself be slow like she needed.

  We fell asleep topless and cuddled up. She was sleeping on top of me when I woke up. It wasn’t different from times I’d woken up in the past but I got that rush of knowing we’d moved on from just friends now. I couldn’t help myself so I started kissing all over her face to wake her up.

  She groaned but smiled before she even opened her eyes. It was so fucking cute. I almost died right there in bed with her. Instead, I got up and got ready. We needed to get breakfast. I was starving and she had to make an appearance anyway.

  While we got ready I glanced over at her, watching her watch me back. We were grinning like idiots and it wasn’t long before I pulled her back into my space and took her hand. We were maybe too loved up. So, the perfect amount for me.

  I held out my hand so she would take it while we walked over to the dining hall. I looked down at our hands and then back to her face. She was still grinning at me, happy and loving. I leaned over and pecked her on the lips.

  “So, you’re my girlfriend now, right?” I asked.

  "Wha, uh, don't you think you should ask me out on a date first?" There was some embarrassment and she obviously blushed.

  “Oh, um… maybe. I feel like we’ve been on a million dates already so I didn’t think about it.”

  I stopped her and made her face me, taking her other hand.

  “Laura Collins, will you please go out on a date with me?”

  "Depends," she said. "Are you gonna act normal or be weird?"

  “I’m done being weird,” I said.

  "Yeah, I don't think so," Laura laughed. "But yes. I'd love to go out on a date. With you," she tagged on.

  “Your lack of faith shocks and disappoints me,” I teased.

  I let go of one of her hands and continued to pull her along towards the food.

  “So, what do you want to do on this date?”

  "Wow. Okay. So now I have to come up with the date? Cool," Laura teased, pretending to be bothered.. "Movies," she chose easily.

  “A classic,” I tugged on her hand. “For the record, I’m going to plan something super romantic in the future that’s a surprise someday and it’s going to blow you away. You’ll just never know when it’s coming. Could be tomorrow, could be five years from now, so ha,” I teased.

  "Uh huh," Laura said, placating me.

  “Maybe then you’ll be my girlfriend and we’ll live happily ever after in a treehouse far away from everyone else,” I mused.

  Laura hissed a little and looked back at me nervously. I'd somehow managed to wrap her up in a hug and waddle us forward. "Is that what you want? You want a fairytale?"

  "Nope. I just want you. Fairytales don't exist, just messy people with messy lives. I was just being silly.”

  "Always," Laura said. "I'll forgive you because you're very sexy today."

  "I'll take it," I said.

  I picked her up by the waist, just enough to carry her a few feet. When I set her down I kissed her.

  "You're always very sexy. Especially when you're walking down the hall and you don't know that I see you. I just have the urge to push you up against the chem lab door and kiss you," I said.

  Laura growled a little, surprised by me. The sparkle in her eye always gleaned when I flirted with her. "Don't hold back," she said, baiting me.

  "I won't. When I see you up in the bleachers during practice, you look so alone. Sometimes I get yelled at for being distracted. It's worth it though,” I sighed.

  All the things I'd been thinking of doing were spilling out of my mouth in a rush. I wanted to tell her everything she made me feel.

  "Guess its smart I come to your games," Laura laughed.

  "You're my good luck charm," I told her.

  "Mostly I just miss you," she said. "Sorry. That doesn't sound very sexy."

  "You're wrong about that. I feel selfish because I just want you to want me all the time and that's very sexy if you're all pining after me," I informed her.

  "You're very honest today," she stared openly. I felt her hand on my face, thumb grazing my lips.

  "I want you to know," I replied.

  We went in the dining hall and got in line. Half the school was still here and the line was small so we got through fast.

  We found the end of a table without people and sat down.

  "Thank you," Laura said. "I like knowing."

  "I'll keep telling you then," I said, smiling.

  I was staring at Laura when I felt a swoosh of air beside me. Someone sat in the seat on my left.

  "Oh, hey Nadia," I said.

  "Hey," Nadia said.

  "Um, Laura have you met Nadia?" I asked.

  That was dumb. The girl lived on our floor but I'd never seen them talk or anything.

  "Um. Yeah. Hey," Laura said.

  "Oh, hey Laura." Nadia turned toward me in her seat.

  "I just wanted to tell you how much you kicked ass in that last game. You looked good out there," Nadia said.

  "Oh! Thanks! I was okay. Not my best but next time. I didn't even know you came to the game.”

  "You told me I should, Charli. I couldn't find you after or I would have told you then," Nadia said.

  She put her hand on my arm for a second and took it away.

  "Oh yeah, I forgot I saw you before. Anyway, thanks," I said.

  "Sure." Nadia smiled and I looked over at Laura.

  Laura was definitely not smiling.

  "Maybe we can hang out soon," Nadia suggested.

  "Oh yeah, sure… maybe," I said.

  "Well, I gotta go," Nadia said.

  She stood up and waved, before walking away toward the exit.

  I turned to Laura.

  "Hmm, I don't even remember when I talked to her about a game.”

  "Convenient," Laura muttered.

  "Not really, wait… what do you mean?" I asked.

  "Nothing," Laura shrugged. She wasn't looking at me.

  "Okaaaay, I don't believe you. What's wrong?" I asked.

  "Uh," she laughed awkwardly. "It's
just convenient, you never seem to remember flirting with other girls."

  "I never flirted with Nadia.”

  "You just told her you could hang out," Laura said. "What do you think she's expecting?"

  "I dunno, chilling with friends. I just figured she meant like our open door hangouts at the dorm. What do you think she's expecting?"

  "Uh," Laura smiled and looked up at me. "I think she's expecting a date."

  "Oh! Shit. No way, really? I've barely talked to Nadia in a year. Why would she think that?" I shook my head and rested it in my palm. "Fuck my life," I groaned.

  "Yeah," Laura breathed. "Must be real hard for you. Keeping track."

  "Hey, I swear, you're the only one I even notice like that. I've been so into you for so long. I've got Laura blinders on.”

  "Such a charmer, Greenwood," Laura said, distracted. She kept staring off at Nadia across the way. Drinking her juice through her straw, she may as well be throwing darts with her eyes.

  "Babe, she's so not a threat," I said.

  I couldn't image a universe in which she was. This really sucked that Nadia came over right after we talked about it.

  "Babe?" Laura asked, staring over at me. The word must’ve caught her.

  "It just came out. I've almost called you that a thousand times but I didn't let myself.”

  Laura stared at me and made me nervous. I couldn’t tell if she liked the word.

  "I wanna kiss you," she said.

  I rose up in my seat and leaned over to kiss her. I couldn't wait to move to a better position. I had to sit back down so I wouldn't fall into my food.

  "I was afraid you didn't like it for a second.”

  "I like you," she reminded, licking her lips. She ate some of her food and tried to stop herself blushing.

  "Good, I'm glad you didn't already change your mind.”

  "Here, try this," she said. She'd gotten a side slice of cheesecake with strawberries on top and held a fork-full over to me.

  I let her feed me the cheesecake and then I sat back, savoring the taste.

  "Okay, they killed the cheesecake today," I said.

  Laura put the fork back into her mouth and licked the remaining remnants off while she stared hungrily at my lips. "I like it."

  "You're just turning me on right now. Very dangerous.”

  "I honestly can't think," Laura said. She took another fork-full of cheesecake and led it into her mouth, leaving her breakfast completely untouched.

  “Hmm, I really just want to go back to the room and kiss you a lot,” I admitted.

  "What about the date?" Laura teased. "And what about Nadia," she joked. "I think she's waiting for you."

  “Who’s Nadia? I don’t know any Nadia,” I teased. I got up and moved around the table so I could sit next to her. I wanted her body close so I could feel her. “And I plan on not watching half the movie on our date so we definitely have to go to that,” I finished.

  "I might not survive," Laura stared.

  She offered me a little more of her cheesecake. At this point I knew, it was an easy excuse to openly stare at my lips in a public setting.

  “Mmm,” I moaned.

  I took a long time to eat the cheesecake, teasing her by licking the fork at the last second before she took it away.

  “I bet you taste just like this right now,” I whispered.

  "Ah, shit," Laura coughed and then started to laugh. She rested her forehead in against my neck and hugged me.

  “Last night you tasted like whiskey. I think I’ll like the cheesecake more but also it’s you so I’m always going to like it.”

  Laura groaned and bit my neck playfully. "Mm. Okay yeah," she said, pushing her chair out and standing up. "Breakfast is done."

  “But I didn’t finish my eggs,” I joked, making a shocked face.

  I reached out and rubbed her forearm before leaning into her body and pushing my face in her torso, biting the fabric of her shirt and pulling on it.

  “Maybe I’ll just eat you instead,” I flirted.

  "Let's go," Laura said, stepping back from both me and the table.

  “You sure?” I teased. I stood up and stayed close to her. I reached out with my hand to play with her hair and tuck it behind her ear. “I mean, I could always just throw you on the table and take you right here.”

  Laura pushed me to step back and turned to the table to grab her tray and put it away. When she got to the trash can she took one last bite of the cheesecake before tossing it in the trash.

  "Do what you want," she said, walking away.

  I followed her and caught up as she hit the door. I didn’t even bother with my tray. I couldn’t think straight when I was thinking about her.

  “Na, I think I’ll go with you,” I said, taking her hand.

  "Good," Laura said. "'Cause I doubt I should touch you out here."

  “Probably not but I’m not sure I’m going to make it back if you talk about that,” I said.

  "I guess I'll shut up then," Laura said.

  “Hmm, I’m thinking about just picking you up and running.”

  "Don't. I'll get mad," Laura said.

  “Why will you get mad?” I asked.

  We were halfway there now anyway and I wasn’t going to do it.

  "I don't want to be carried that way," Laura said. "Maybe on your back though," she pouted. “Later.”

  “Noted. I will try not to carry you, I promise. Unless, it’s necessary.”

  "Why would it be necessary," Laura laughed.

  “I don’t know. If you faint or something,” I shrugged.

  "You're planning on me fainting?"

  “Nope. Just prepared for anything,” I replied.

  I opened the door for her when we got to the dorm and followed her down the hall to our room. She unlocked it and while she was in the process I came close and hugged her from behind, waiting for her to finish so I could have her attention.

  "Almost got it," she breathed.

  She opened the door and moved inside, turning to meet my lips and finally touch me. I fell into her and we backed up into the room, kissing. I pushed her cardigan off her shoulders and switched to kissing her neck, pulling her tank aside so I could have more skin to work on.

  Laura stretched beneath my hands, wildly breathing. Her fingers slipped into my hair as her free hand found my stomach and touched. Her fingertips slipped inside the hem of my pants and she tugged me to stay close.

  I kissed her lips again and put my arms around her waist. We had only just started this and it felt new and old at the same time. I had already imagined kissing her a thousand different ways in different places. I’d never been able to capture the feeling of it in my mind. I had the real thing now and I still couldn’t hold onto it long enough so I had to keep kissing her and feeling the waves of endorphins.

  I wanted her hands on my skin so I guided her underneath my shirt to my bare stomach, putting the smallest of spaces between us. We kissed like crazy and I’d been right about barely making it. I really needed her right now and always.

  She whimpered and I led her back against the wall. She took my hand and led it between her legs so that I would rub her. "Ah fuck," she huffed, letting go of my hand and hugging onto my body desperately. Her hand returned to my stomach and I felt her nails gently scratch and then rub.

  "You sure?" I breathed, hesitating.

  "No," she laughed, clinging onto me. "Fuck," she huffed, catching her breath and slowing down. She moved my hand from between her legs and up to her neck. Then she concentrated on kissing me, slowing us down and encouraging me to lean against her and push her back against the wall.

  I buried my hand in her hair and let my weight fall onto her, pinning her, supporting her. I was so glad I had enough brain power to ask. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her like that.

  “Fuck, baby,” I whispered, taking a breath.

  "Fuck," she whined, lost in me.

  “Bed, please,” I said. I leaned up off of her
and pulled her by the hand, collapsing on the bed and waiting for her to crawl up with me. “I love you,” I said.

  She pulled her shoes and her tank off and crawled on hands and knees over my body to come rest. I felt her thigh push in against my sex as her lips found mine and she made out with me, slipping her tongue inside and touching my face.

  Her gasps and little whimpers were hot and her thigh pushed into me. She had no idea how she was affecting me. I pushed my sex down to get more friction, not even thinking.

  "Charli," she exhaled. I felt her palm push down on my hip to try and get me to settle as she moved up my body and pushed her thigh against me again.

  I lay still and put my hands on her back, enjoying her bare skin. I kept losing my mind and plowing ahead when she wanted to go slow.

  "Sorry," I whispered.

  "Oh god, don't be," she whispered. "This is my fault." She smoothed her forehead down my skin and rest it against my chest while she let herself breathe. "I suck," she whispered.

  "No you don't! Stop that," I said.

  I hugged her and pulled her down on my body.

  "It's no one's fault. I just don't want to rush you at all.”

  "Fuck," she breathed, trying to get herself together. I felt her snuggle up on me and try to calm. Her fingers gripped my shirt and pulled it tight.

  "Breathing is hard now," I huffed.

  "Sorry," she panted. I felt her lips touch down on my arm and she kissed it. "I've never had this problem."

  "What is it? Just too much? I don't want to do anything to mess this up so…”

  "Yeah," she breathed. "I feel you so much and it overwhelms me. I dunno why," Laura said. "I like, really, really want you. More than I've ever wanted anything."

  "Do you think it'll get easier?" I asked.

  "I hope so," she said. "I just feel bad. I'm usually the opposite way. I usually need more and I take it. So, I know what it feels like. To need more..."

  "Maybe it's just new and it'll feel different after a little while," I suggested.

  If it didn't happen with anyone else though…

  "Do I need to do something different?" I asked.

  "Are you kidding," she blushed. "You're so good that you barely have to touch me to do things. Just kissing you, I can feel you inside."

  "Is that normal?" I asked.

  "I dunno," she said. "But I think it's a good thing, not bad. Means its right… That it matters."