by Nicole Dykes
Restrictions
nicole dykes
Copyright © 2020 by nicole dykes
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Created with Vellum
Contents
Playlist
1. Asher
2. Vivienne
3. Asher
4. Vivienne
5. Asher
6. Asher
7. Vivienne
8. Asher
9. Vivienne
10. Asher
11. Vivienne
12. Vivienne
13. Asher
14. Vivienne
15. Asher
16. Vivienne
17. Asher
18. Vivienne
19. Vivienne
20. Asher
21. Vivienne
22. Asher
23. Vivienne
24. Asher
25. Vivienne
26. Asher
27. Vivienne
28. Asher
29. Vivienne
30. Asher
31. Vivienne
32. Asher
33. Asher
34. Vivienne
35. Asher
36. Vivienne
37. Asher
38. Vivienne
39. Asher
40. Vivienne
41. Vivienne
42. Asher
43. Vivienne
44. Asher
45. Vivienne
46. Asher
47. Asher
48. Vivienne
Note from the Author
Special Thanks
Sneak Peek
Someone You Loved
Lewis Capaldi
Circles
Post Malone
Dreamland
Glass Animals
Don’t Let Me Down
Milky Chance
I Just Wanna Shine
Fitz and The Tantrums
All Your Love
Sir Sly
Level of Concern
Twenty One Pilots
Still Alive
Flora Cash
We’re Going to Be Friends
The White Stripes
Messed Up
Beartooth
Hurricane
I Prevail
**Please note, I don’t own the rights to any of these songs. I just listened to them as I wrote this story! Enjoy!
I look out the large picture window of my family’s lake house as the turbulent water of the lake blows around with the wind from an incoming storm.
My mom’s getting married today. Fucking weird.
I don’t actually mind the guy she’s marrying. Anything is better than my father, and my mom seems happy. After the shit she’s been through over the years, she deserves to be happy.
“Baz! Wait!”
I turn around just in time for my three-year-old nephew, Sebastian, to bear-hug me around my legs. “Uncle Ash!”
I laugh happily as I pat the kid on his tiny shoulder and lean down to look him in the eyes. “Hey, little man. You get away from your mom?”
My nephew is, without a doubt, hands down the fucking cutest kid you’ll ever see. And I don’t give a shit if you agree or not. But if you don’t, you’re wrong.
His dark brown hair is slicked back, but the unruly cowlick in the middle of his bangs gives us all the defiant finger and remains sticking straight up. Of course, this doesn’t hinder his cuteness in the slightest. He’s wearing navy dress slacks with a crisp white button-down shirt and suspenders.
He nods his head exuberantly, proud of himself as his mom, Vivienne, catches up with him, holding out a navy bow tie. “Sebastian, don’t run away from Mommy. You have to get ready.”
My adorable nephew shakes his head from side to side, loving to give his mom a hard time. He’s a handful for sure, but again, fucking cute. I stand up and smirk at Viv, who looks slightly worn out, but pretty as usual.
Her light brown hair is down and rests right at her shoulders. Her dress is classy, like her. It’s navy, like Baz’s slacks, with sleeves to her elbows and neckline showing no hint of cleavage. Honestly, I’m not even sure if she has any. Her flared skirt lands below the knee, and her belted waist is the only thing hinting at an actual figure. She’s wearing heels but nothing too high to draw attention to her.
That’s Viv for ya, though. She likes to hide—blend in and just be.
Her pretty eyes meet mine, and I can see the stress in them. “I’m sorry we’re so late. He refused to take a bath this morning, then he didn’t want to eat anything. And traffic was horrible getting out of the city.”
See? Stressed. It ain’t easy being a single twenty-one–year-old mom to a three-year-old. I hold my hand out, silently asking for the bow tie. She sighs, finally taking a breath and hands it to me.
“I have no idea how to tie that thing.”
“No problem.” I bend down and slip the tie around my nephew’s little collar.
“You know how?” I don’t miss her condescending tone as I make a funny face at Baz, sticking my tongue out and winking one eye, playing stupid. He starts to giggle at my goofiness when I tie his bow tie and answer Viv.
“Who do you think tied mine?”
I’m dressed in a three-piece navy suit, complete with bow tie because I’m, of course, in the wedding party along with my sister, Lola, brother, Lincoln and his girl, Penelope.
His girl. What a fucking joke.
I try to shake that off as I adjust the now-fastened bow tie and stand up. Vivienne places a hand on her hip, examining my work with a sly smile. “Honestly? Your mother.”
Fuck you too.
But I don’t say it out loud, considering the little ears that are present.
I’m the youngest of four siblings, brought up in the upper-class society of Kansas City on the Kansas side. I’m used to people assuming I’m spoiled. Maybe I am.
“I learned how to do that a long time ago. I’m surprised you weren’t ever taught.”
She looks down at her son, bringing her hand up to her lips that are painted light pink but are still plump and full. Her tongue darts out and wets her hand before she tries her best to smooth down her son’s cowlick. “I’ve never worn a tie.”
Suddenly an image of her lying on a bed wearing only a tie pops into my head, and I have to force my mind to move elsewhere because that shit is fucking hot. Memo for later.
Not Viv of course. That shit would be fucked-up. The Sterlings are fucked-up, but I don’t want to give my brother, Linc, a run for his money in that department.
Sebastian pushes his mom’s hands away just as Linc and Penelope walk into the house. Linc is dressed exactly like me, and Penelope wears a pink bridesmaid dress. They join us, giving Baz a quick hug and a present.
Nice touch, assholes. They haven’t seen him in months but give him a toy and all’s good.
To be fair, they do live across the country in California in the same town as Lola. I’m the poor bastard left behind.
Used to it.
Linc stands up from giving our nephew the present that’s now being ripped into and holds his hand out for me. I’m not a total dick, so I shake his hand. “Ash, good to see you.”
I nod curtly, not exactly glad to see him but not not glad either.
My relationship with Linc is strained. “Hi, Asher. You look nice.” And it’s because of her.
“Good to see you too, Penelope.” She’s wearing a bright smile and looks genuinely happy, which honestly, I haven’t seen since we were kids.
&nb
sp; Since Linc and our other brother, Colt, brought her home.
“Whoa! Awesome!” I smile down at Sebastian when he pulls the toy dinosaur from its package and laughs as he pushes a button, playing the sound.
That fucking laugh.
It’s exactly like his father’s, and I can see Penelope and Linc process the exact same thought.
“Thank you both.” Vivienne smiles, but I can see her entire body has tensed since they arrived.
You see, Sebastian was conceived when Colt was dating Penelope. Not Linc.
Fucked. Up.
“You’re so welcome. I hope it’s not too noisy.” Penelope pushes her dark hair behind her ear, and Vivienne brushes it off politely.
“No. Not at all.”
“Well, see you out there.” Linc looks out the back patio door. “Hopefully, the storm will hold off.”
“Probably won’t,” I say dryly as they both wave goodbye and exit out to the backyard of the lake house.”
“Maybe he’s too young for this.”
I turn to Viv and see she’s back to worrying about shit. “He’s three. Fully potty-trained and can say his ABC’s. He can walk down an aisle, sprinkling rose petals.”
She ignores my own condescending tone and dips down to his level. “You go right to Uncle Ash, okay? You’ll be fine. Mommy will be right in the front row watching.”
“He’s got this.” I hold my hand down for him to slap with a high five.”
“I do.” He slaps my hand, happily adjusting his bow tie with his pudgy little hand and holding the toy dinosaur in his other hand.
“You look handsome.” I wink.
He nods. “I know.”
Vivienne brushes something from his cheek. “Sebastian, you’re supposed to say thank you when someone tells you you’re handsome.”
“Why? I am handsome.” He’s irritated and tilts his head to the left, and I laugh.
“Kid’s got a point. Why should he thank me for stating facts?”
Vivienne takes a deep breath and stands up, her eyes focused on me. “Don’t encourage bad behavior.”
“I’m his uncle. It’s my job.”
She shakes her head at me, but she’s smiles as she takes the little man’s hand, and we go out to the backyard to watch my mother enter her second marriage.
But my eyes remain on the lake.
The lake where my brother’s life ended, leaving behind a son he didn’t know he’d created.
And a family that desperately needed him.
“Thank you so much for inviting us. The ceremony was beautiful.”
Nora smiles at me, her cream-colored lace dress a distracting vision along with her smiling face. My son’s grandmother is absolutely glowing. Not that she isn’t always stunning.
“Of course. Thank you so much for coming and allowing Sebastian to be a part of the ceremony. It means the world to me.”
She smooths her hand over my son’s sleeping head. “It was no problem. He was very excited.”
I smile down at his sleeping face as he lays on my chest at one of the reception tables set up under a tent they erected just before the rain started to pour down.
“I should probably get him home.”
She nods her head, never giving me a hard time, unlike my own mother. Nora has been a blessing since the day she found out about Sebastian. I honestly thought she would hate me. I mean, I had sex with her son when he was in a relationship with another woman, one she loved dearly and still does. I thought she would think I was a slut, too trashy for her family, but instead she accepted us both instantly. “Yes, it’s starting to get late. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here. Tony and I are going to a hotel, but the kids are staying.”
I look around the beautifully decorated tent at her “kids” who are all grown now. Lola, her oldest, is directing the wedding photographer on what photos to shoot. Lincoln and Penelope are dancing, oblivious to the world as they closely hold each other. And then there’s Asher.
Who is tucked into a chair the next table over with a girl I don’t know on his lap, his tongue shoved down her throat and his hands on her full ass. I can’t blame the poor girl, many before her have fallen victim to Asher’s charm. And that suit.
Jesus. Am I drooling?
I try to tell myself my momentary ogling is based on my lack of sex and not on Ash’s sparkling hazel eyes, square and defined jawline, or his large muscular body that’s currently encased in a well-fitted suit, and a face with just enough stubble dusted over it to make any girl stupid.
I focus on Nora, keeping my voice low so I don’t wake my sleeping son. “Thank you so much for the offer, but I have a big week and should really get home tonight.”
She nods again with her ever-present smile and kisses the top of Sebastian’s head. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will, but enjoy your trip.”
They are going on an island honeymoon and leaving tomorrow. She waves, blowing a kiss as she joins her new husband on the dance floor.
I gather my purse and the bag I brought with some toys and snacks for Baz and stand up awkwardly with my son in my arms, wobbling slightly on my heels.
“I’ll be right back,” I hear Asher as he slides over to my table, easily lifting Sebastian in his arms without waking him, letting his little arm fall over his shoulder and his head rest against his chest. “You leaving?”
I nod, securing the bags over my shoulder. “Yes. And I can make it out to my car.” I nod back at the girl he left with her lipstick smeared, and more than likely, her panties wet. “You can go back to your date.”
He laughs at that, waving me off easily. “I’ll walk you out. I gotta talk to you anyway.”
Well, that makes me nervous. I follow him through the house. The rain, thankfully, has let up as we walk out the front to my car. I unlock it, and Asher effortlessly transfers Sebastian to his car seat, buckling him in.
I’m thankful for Asher. He’s the youngest of the Sterlings, but he is definitely the one who stepped up after I told Lincoln about my surprise pregnancy. Still, being only twenty, he has a lot of growing up left to do and sometimes drives me insane with the things he says.
He closes the door to the backseat quietly and then folds his arms over his chest, looking at me with that devilishly handsome smirk I’ve grown accustomed to.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“I need a favor.”
God knows he’s done several for me over the last few years—watching Sebastian and just plain being an uncle to my son. Still, I’m cautious. “What?”
“You still moving out of your parent’s house?” He leans his ass against my car, his arms still folded.
“Yes . . .” I answer hesitantly. When I told my parents I was pregnant at only seventeen, they went straight into damage control, pulled me from school and had me finish remotely. They hid me away from any gossiping eyes and kept me, and then Sebastian, close in their home. I had to fight for my independence.
I’m starting my senior year of college soon, and I wanted some freedom. Finally, they granted it to me in the form of a ridiculously large four-bedroom home in Lawrence, where I’m attending college and had been driving the hour and a half for class every day for the past three years. I wanted something smaller near campus, but my father insisted on a “nice home” for Sebastian.
Rich girl problems, I suppose.
At least I’m out of there in three days.
“Why do you ask?”
“Let me move in with you two.”
I stare at him as if he’s grown another head because—is he kidding? “What? Why?”
Like me, he also attends the University of Kansas in Lawrence, and he’s been staying with his mother, taking care of her after the loss of her son since it happened. I know he was afraid to leave her, so he also made the drive to school every day from the town where we grew up.
“Because I want to get the fuck out of my parents’ home. And besides, I know w
hat a handful Sebastian can be. I’ll help.”
I have to admit it’s tempting as hell. I adore my little boy, but he is a lot. I laugh at that, seeing the outline of Baz in his car seat through the window in the dark night. “Look, I already have a moody little roommate. I don’t think I can take care of another one.”
“First of all,” Asher gestures to his large body, “not little. Not at all.” I roll my eyes, knowing he’s not just referring to the size of his body. “And I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I just want out of my mom’s house. We go to the same school. We love the same kid. It makes sense.”
My heart squeezes tightly in my chest when he says he loves Sebastian. Not that it’s not any surprise to me, but it makes me happy to see someone love him almost as much as I do. “Asher . . .”
“I cannot stay with my mom during her honeymoon year.”
He shivers, and I can’t fight the laugh that comes from my mouth. “You have a trust fund. Use it.”
“I don’t plan to blow it on a house just yet. And if I’m going to pay rent, I’d rather it go to my nephew.”
I sigh, looking back through the dark window again. “I don’t know.”
