“You mean that?”
“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
He sits forward, takes both my hands in his and strokes his thumbs along the back of my thumbs. “You know, it was only months after I’d left that I realized what you were asking me when we were sitting in the hospital canteen,” he says. “I thought you were accusing me again of not loving you like Nate did. Then I worked out that you were asking me if I loved you at all. Independently of Tegan.
“Because you never thought I did, did you? You didn’t realize that yes, Tegan brought us together but I would never have dated you if I didn’t genuinely feel something for you.
“I fell for you the day you had your migraine. When I found out who T was to you, it was as though a curtain was lifted and I saw how incredible you were. Then I thought I had no chance because of how vile I’d been to you but I kept hoping…That day I first kissed you, I was so nervous. The whole drive back from London I kept thinking about your eyes, your smile, the smell of your skin mixed with Emporio Armani Day. When I was in New York I used to go stand in the perfume section of Bloomingdale’s and smell it because it was you. And that’s why it didn’t work with Nicole—she wasn’t you. Ryn, I did fancy you. I did think you were beautiful. You’re the most beautiful woman on earth. That was after everything else I felt for you. I love the way you answer questions with a question so you can stall for time; the way you go out of your way to look after people but pretend you don’t care; the way you—”
“I’ve told you before, if you keep saying things like that, I’ll think you’re flirting with me,” I cut in.
The expression on Luke’s face hardened. “That’s why I never said them, though. You wouldn’t have believed me, you told me that, good or bad, you don’t believe what others say, so I stopped saying them. I tried to show you how I felt in what I did, not simply what I said. That worked, didn’t it?”
“I’m sorry, Luke,” I say. “I’ve only ever had one person say those things and mean it. I didn’t quite believe there’d be two people who could think them…But, let’s be honest, you always seemed to back off whenever I tried to take a step forward and then I find out you had your escape plan worked out all along. I’ve never seen someone disentangle himself from a life so fast. Are you surprised I didn’t believe you loved me?”
“Yeah, but I’m an ass. Things go wrong and I take to the road, that’s what I do, that’s what I’ve always done. And for me, Nate reappearing was the ultimate worst-case scenario. He had more claim on you and Tegan than me, I was preparing for what I saw as the inevitable. Although I have to say, you’re an ass if you didn’t believe I cared for you independently of Tegan.”
“I’m glad you’re back, Luke.” I grin at him, then recall he hasn’t actually said as much. “You are back, aren’t you? Back to be a part of our lives?”
“Yes, but things have to change.”
“Yeah, I know. And the first change is that you’ve got to be honest with me. Tell me everything, job interviews, plans to get married to me or someone else. Everything. And I’ll do the same.”
“OK, I can live with that.”
“The second change is that you’ve got to accept that Nate is a part of our lives, for better or worse.”
Luke scrunches up his lips, gives a short nod.
“I mean it, Luke. It’s over between me and him but he’s here forever.”
“OK. But I don’t have to like him, do I?”
I sighed. “I suppose not. But it’d be easier for you if you did. I don’t want Tegan feeling caught between you two. She’s very clever and as she’s got older she picks up on everything, so no nastiness, OK?”
“OK, my condition is that we talk about having more children.”
My heart sinks. “I don’t know…”
“We just talk about it. It’s not fair on Tegan that she’s got no brothers and sisters; you had them, so why can’t she?”
“Erm…”
“We just talk, Ryn. And if we decide no, then we decide no. It’s not fair that we’ve never talked about it properly; that you’ve made up your mind and I’ve got no say in it. That’s not what a relationship is about. I mean, it could be adoption, but we talk.”
“OK, we talk, but I’m warning you, Luke, Tegan’s more than enough for me.”
“I think she might be for me, but I want us to talk about it.”
“Cool, we’ll talk.”
He grins.
“Of course, you do realize that if we do get back together, there’ll be lots of gossip—you’re a married man and I’m a single mother…My reputation will be in tatters: ‘Single mother in sordid sex shocker with mucky married man…’”
Luke leans out of his seat and pushes a languid kiss onto my mouth. I can’t help but sigh into it, I’d forgotten how good he was at that. As he sits back, Tegan comes into view. She’s standing by our table, a grin so wide, you can hardly see her face. This is what she wanted—me and Luke back together, her and Luke friends again. Behind her stands a less than happy cooking supervisor.
“Ms. Matika, I really must talk to you about Tegan’s behavior!” she says with barely restrained anger. Tegan climbs onto my lap, snuggles into my torso as she looks reproachfully at the cooking supervisor. It’s all an act, she’s not really worried or feeling vulnerable, she simply knows I’m less likely to get cross if she’s playing at being my little girl.
“What’s she done?” I ask.
“In the middle of cooking she decided to come back up here. When I said she had to finish making her pizza, she told me to ‘stuff it!’”
This girl is a nightmare sometimes. Luke swivels in his seat to hide his face while his broad shoulders shake with silent laughter. Obviously he thinks it’s funny—it’s not him getting told off. “Maybe she meant the pizza?” I offer hopefully. “She might have seen those stuffed varieties on television.”
The supervisor fires me a look of disdain and snottily adds, “I’m sure she’s been picking up lots from television, but not that, Ms. Matika.”
No, that excuse wouldn’t have washed with me either. “Tegan, say sorry to…” I glance at her name badge. Adele. My heart skips a beat and a lump forms in my throat like it always does when I think of her or hear her name. “Tegan, say sorry to Adele.”
“Sorry, Miss Adele,” Tegan says, looking and sounding suitably sorrowful. “I didn’t mean to be horrible, I won’t do it again.” She didn’t have to add that bit but I’m glad she does.
Mollified, Adele crouches down in front of Tegan. “That’s OK, precious. I’ll see you next week.”
Tegan nods and manages to keep her sorrowful look until Adele has returned downstairs. When she’s gone, Tegan turns to face me, her big eyes beseeching me not to shout at her. “I’m sorry for being naughty, Mummy Ryn. I wanted to see Luke. I thought he might go. I don’t want him to go.”
“Luke’s going to stick around for a while,” I reply.
“Aren’t you?”
“Sure am, gorgeous. I’ll be around so much you’ll both get sick of me.”
She grins, showing all her perfect white teeth. “Mummy Ryn, can I tell Luke?” she asks.
“Of course, baby.”
“I’ve got a new name,” she proclaims to her returned best friend. “My name is Tegan Brannon Matika. I’ve got the same name as Mummy Ryn. We are family now. Proper, proper family.”
“That’s fantastic!” Luke exclaims. “T, I’m so pleased for you! And you, Ryn. When did you find out you were finally allowed to adopt her?”
“We got the final certificate two weeks ago. It’s been a long road, two long years, with social workers, counselors and courts but we got there, didn’t we, baby?”
Tegan gives a short, decisive nod. “Mr. Nate bought us ’hampagne but only Mummy Ryn was allowed to drink it. I had fizzy pop. It was OK. And Mr. Nate took us to the cinema and to pizza.”
It was only as I looked at the adoption certificate that would replace Tegan’
s birth certificate that I realized what it signified, what it truly meant. It meant I didn’t need to worry about how I said goodbye to Adele, I could stop fretting that I hadn’t told her I forgave her, because she knew. My best friend knew that I’d love her no matter what because she had left me her most precious keepsake. She had trusted me with her one true love. And adopting Tegan, turning my best friend’s girl into my girl, was all the forgiveness Adele would have needed. She hadn’t screwed me like I thought she had all that time ago, she’d simply changed my life like I knew she would that first time I met her.
“Guess what, Luke?” Tegan says.
“What, sweetheart?” he asks, smiling at how I cradle my daughter in my arms.
“I think Mummy Ryn is going to let me get a cat.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dorothy Koomson is another year older (which she’s very happy about), but not much wiser. She is still a journalist as well as a novelist, and now lives in both London and Sydney, Australia. My Best Friend’s Girl is her third novel. Her fourth novel, Marshmallows for Breakfast, is forthcoming from Bantam Dell in 2009.
She is currently working on her next novel and a screenplay.
Find out more about her at: www.dorothykoomson.co.uk.
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MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL
A Bantam Discovery Book /April 2008
Published by
Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved
Copyright © 2006 by Dorothy Koomson
Bantam Books and the rooster colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Koomson, Dorothy
My best friend’s girl /Dorothy Koomson.
p. cm.
“A Bantam Discovery book”—T.p. verso.
1. Female friendship—Fiction. 2. Terminally ill—Fiction. 3. Adoption—Fiction. 4. Forgiveness—Fiction. I. Title.
PR6111 O66M9 2008
823'.92—dc22
2007049684
www.bantamdell.com
eISBN: 978-0-440-33752-2
v3.0
My Best Friend's Girl Page 37
