by Donna Alward
She hoped she wasn’t blushing. Still, why should she? Why did it matter what people thought? So what if she and Eric had struck up a...friendship on this trip? Courtroom confidence was one thing, but when was she going to be more self-assured in her personal life?
She thought back to attending the benefit with Ryan and how she’d found it very easy to turn down any offers of more than friendship. She’d had no problems with self-assurance then. So maybe it was Eric. Maybe it was him plus the discovery that she was going to be making a life change that had her all discombobulated.
But once again, her brain asked, Who cares?
She nodded. “If it’s okay with Eric, I don’t mind.”
“Fine by me,” Eric said with an easy smile.
Shawn left them and Eric looked over at her as he was slipping on his life vest. “Do you want the front or back?”
Molly didn’t really know, so she shrugged. “How about we go one way up the sound and reverse it on the way back?”
“Works for me. I’ll go front first?”
“Sure.”
They got their kayak to the water’s edge, and Eric turned around. “I’m glad we’re together today.”
“Me too.”
“Molly?”
She stopped adjusting her PFD and looked up at him.
“Not just because of your nervousness, okay? I’m glad to be with you.”
It didn’t matter that last night had been as chaste as they came. Something had changed, and it took away the nerves of being on the water and replaced them with something deliciously anticipatory.
The morning passed without event; the weather was beautiful and the scenery as gorgeous as before, and they took a slightly different route along the sound. Still, other than a few seals and a ton of bald eagles, they reached the previous day’s stopping point without encountering any whales or dolphins. Paddling was more fun with two once Molly found her rhythm with Eric, and he often turned around to say something or would point toward a neat tree or a bird circling above. They carried on for nearly an hour before one of the guides indicated that something was nearby. Molly peered through her sunglasses to see, but there was nothing. As they drew closer to the group, she heard the word humpback and more excited chatter about bubbles.
“What’s going on?” she asked, knowing Eric would hear her.
“I think they’ve spotted some humpbacks,” he replied, excitement in his voice.
Molly tried to quell the nerves in her stomach. Humpbacks were way bigger than orcas, but yesterday had shown her that the biggest threat to her was her own panic. She kept her eyes trained on the place where people were pointing, glad she and Eric were in the kayak together.
One of the guides’ voices broke through. “If you look, you’ll see the bubbles on the surface, what looks a bit like a rolling boil, if you’re into cooking terms. The humpbacks use ‘bubble net’ feeding to corral the fish into one spot and then they can all feed. Hold on, because it’s going to get exciting.”
It felt as if the whole group was holding its breath, as anticipation was rife in the air. When the whales plunged to the surface, everyone jumped a little and exclaimed in excitement. Molly was no exception. It was incredible! She couldn’t tell how many whales there were, but the waves made by their forceful break of the surface were significant. Eric had his camera out and was snapping wildly. Molly simply took in the sight and tried to ignore the anxiety that still beckoned. She could do this. She was doing it!
They watched the feeding ritual for a good twenty minutes, before the humpbacks moved on with a signature wave of their flukes. Around two hundred meters away or so, one breached the surface and then crashed down again in a magnificent show of force and beauty. As their group continued on, the chatter increased significantly as everyone marveled at what they’d seen. They didn’t travel far before they encountered a group of sea lions, basking in the sun on the rocky shore. One or two bobbed around in the water, but the rest were soaking up the rays. As they paused to watch and the guides gave them the lowdown on the species, two of the sea lions started a conversation that had Molly laughing. The groans and growls sounded so grouchy that she couldn’t help but giggle, and before long she heard Eric’s low chuckle as well.
“Is that what your clients sound like?” he asked, still laughing.
“Not usually. Most of the time my clients don’t speak to each other,” she replied, then sighed. “How about you and your wife? Did your marriage go out with a whimper or a bang?”
His smile faded, and though she couldn’t see his eyes because of his sunglasses, she imagined the light went out of them, too, and she felt sorry she’d asked the question so flippantly. “A whimper. I wasn’t angry. Not at the divorce, really. We weren’t happy. I was angry about that.”
“That you were unhappy?”
“Yeah. I worked pretty hard to set up the perfect life, so why wasn’t I happy?”
She let out a mirthless huff of air. “If you figure that one out, let me know. I’m the girl who has everything and is unhappy with it. I suppose that makes me ungrateful.”
“Not necessarily. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“Maybe you should take your own advice.”
They began paddling again, moving past the sea lions and onward to the stopping point for lunch. After two days of paddling, Molly’s shoulders and back were aching and she was ready for a good stretch. Eric got out of the kayak first, and then held out his hand to help her out. She took it and felt the warmth of his hand through the fabric of her paddling gloves—he held her fingers a little longer than was necessary.
She could get used to him looking at her this way.
But she dropped her hand from his, and once they’d secured the kayak, they headed up the bank to the picnic area.
The way home was even better, with Molly’s confidence growing as they paddled down the strait toward base camp again. The orcas were absent this afternoon, but Molly didn’t care. She dipped her paddle in and out of the water in time with Eric, who was now in the back. The breeze blew her hair off her face and she couldn’t ever remember feeling this alive. By the time they’d reached “home,” she was sad to leave the kayaking behind. Two and a half days hardly seemed long enough. Tomorrow morning’s expedition was a boat ride farther up the strait on a quest to see grizzly bears, and then it was back to the lodge and luxury before the next leg of their journey. She was sorry this part was over just as she was getting comfortable with it.
She and Eric sat together over dinner and chatted with others while dining on fresh cedar-planked salmon, baby potatoes and salad. Food even tasted better outdoors, she decided, and when the evening was waning she and Eric went for a walk on the beach. The moon was out and stars peeked from their inky blanket, giving the couple enough light to see where they were going.
Eric reached over and took her hand. After they’d walked a good distance, he led her to a large rock pushed up against the grassy overhang. They were hidden from camp, but the beach and the cove stretched out before them. The air tasted like salt and evergreens.
He climbed up and then helped her up, until they were settled in the natural seat of the boulder. He put his arm around her and snuggled her in, then let out a deep, satisfied sigh.
She understood. She was feeling the same way right now, and was afraid that saying anything would break the perfect moment.
So they sat in the silence for a long time, listening to the sounds of the water, the soft shhh of unseen wildlife nearby—squirrels, perhaps, or something equally innocuous. Laughter came from the area of the campfire, making a smile bloom on Molly’s face.
She’d always been a city girl. Not much into roughing it or spending loads of time in nature, at least not more than the local park or gardens. But this was perfection. Bidding on this trip had been on a whim, but it was turning out to be the best decisi
on of her life.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. “I can hear the wheels turning in there.”
“That I wish I’d done this sooner.”
“Me too. But then, we wouldn’t have met. And despite our inauspicious beginning, I’m finding I’m glad we did.”
“Yeah,” she whispered, burrowing into his embrace a little deeper.
They sat a while longer, long enough that a shooting star swept across the sky. “So,” she whispered. Speaking in a regular voice seemed harsh, somehow, as if the evening required hushed tones and a bit of reverence. “As of tomorrow, we’re halfway through our trip.”
“I know.”
“And then we’ll both be going back to our own lives.”
“We will.”
“And I’ll be in Boston and you’ll be in Montreal, or wherever your work is going to take you once this is over.”
“I suppose you’re right.” There was a pause, and then he said, “You’re wondering if it’s worth exploring this.” She didn’t have to ask what “this” was; they both knew it was the attraction humming between them. “If it’s a good idea. What’ll happen when it’s over and we have to go our separate ways.”
She nodded, her ponytail rubbing against his chest.
His lips touched the hair beside her ear. “We have to go back to our lives. We both know that.”
His warm breath on her hair sent delicious shivers down her spine. “Yes,” she agreed, feeling a little breathless. “Back to our lives.” Even if she suspected her life was going to change a bit. It was odd not knowing what it would look like, but that wasn’t a thought for this moment. Not for tonight.
“So no expectations,” he murmured, his lips still close to her ear, his hand on the curve of her waist. “Just...”
She turned her head a little, leaning into him so his lips grazed her temple and sent a thrill zinging down to her toes. “Just being in the moment,” she said, finishing his thought. Her lips remained slightly open as they made cautious movements—a touch here, a press of the lips there. They were prolonging the anticipation but not fighting it—not anymore. She turned into him, so that she was cradled in his left arm as her face turned up to his. The look in his eyes was hungry and she bit down on her lip as her lashes fluttered a little. She was dying for him to finally kiss her on the mouth. When he did, she lifted her arm and curled her hand around his neck, drawing him down so he was half on top of her, sandwiched between the cool rock and the warm, sexy man who was currently tasting her lips so expertly she would swear she heard music.
He lifted his head, his mouth only a few inches from hers, his gaze burning down into her. She hadn’t been wrong—she did hear music. Up by the campfire. One of the guides must have brought a guitar, and a couple of voices joined in.
Molly was swamped with a sense of the surreal, but she let it sweep her away. This was a once-in-a-lifetime trip. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She wasn’t going to squander it.
She pushed up with her hands and saw Eric’s face blank with surprise as he sat upright and she straddled him, a knee on either side of his hips. The closeness had her body humming in response, and she put her hands on his face and kissed him, taking the lead and loving every moment of it. His arms came around her and pulled her close, one hand skimming down her ribs as his thumb grazed the side of her breast. She felt so alive. So free.
Eric slid his mouth away from hers and kissed her collarbone, his hot breath radiating through the cotton of her shirt. For a moment she allowed herself to fantasize about making love here, on a rock beside the water, with the sound of the waves ebbing and flowing around them. It would be so good. But there were also ten other guests and three guides not far away, and the inconvenient realization that she had no protection. This possibility had never crossed her mind.
“I don’t have anything. Do you?” she asked, unsure which answer she truly wanted him to give.
“No.” He stopped moving and lifted his head away from the vee of her shirt. “Dammit.”
She laughed a little, the sound rich and full of promises that weren’t to be fulfilled—at least not tonight. “It’s okay. It’s like Christmas. All the fun is in the lead-up.”
“Yeah, except at Christmas you’re pretty sure Santa’s going to come at some point.”
She burst out laughing, the sound echoing down the beach as she slapped her hand over her mouth. Eric was watching her with an amused expression, though he seemed a bit sheepish.
“We should get back,” she said, though she was disappointed at having to say it. “It’s getting late and tomorrow’s another early morning.”
“Are you going to sleep all right? You did much better today.”
She nodded. “I still had some anxiety, but not the all-out panic. I kept reminding myself that I wasn’t alone, and that my biggest enemy was my own fear and not any actual threat. It helped.”
He nodded. “Well, tomorrow it’s safe and sound in the boat. And then back to the hotel.”
His gaze met hers. The hotel meant hotel rooms. Amenities. Opportunities to pick up contraception.
“Back to the hotel,” she echoed.
The thought seemed to spur them both into action, and they hopped down from the boulder and made their way back up the beach. But Eric reached down and held her hand.
It was the best feeling in the world.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ERIC STEPPED OUT of the hot shower and grabbed a thick, fluffy towel from the warming rack. It was so good to be back in the hotel, with a real mattress and electricity and hot running water on demand.
Though he could honestly say he’d enjoyed the kayaking trip immensely. After all, he’d seen orcas. Humpbacks. Sea lions, seals, eagles and grizzlies on the final day during a fun boat ride. And he’d kissed Molly. That part left him happy and yet unsatisfied. It had been tamer than 90 percent of his make-out sessions as a teenager, but it had been amazing, too.
And now they were back in Campbell River, in the lap of luxury, in a hotel with a small gift shop that carried condoms. If it didn’t happen, it wouldn’t be because neither of them were prepared.
And he wanted it to happen. Her flip into the water and subsequent nightmare had awakened all his protective instincts. He frowned a little as he looked in the bathroom mirror. Molly was an independent, successful woman. She didn’t really need him in a material sense, but he got the feeling she did in an emotional and physical sense. His stomach plummeted. Was that what Murielle had been saying all along, and he was too stubborn to see it? Had she really wanted him and not the financial security he could provide? He’d spent so many years ensuring those he cared about had enough—a place to live, food on the table. What if he’d got that wrong?
He didn’t dare dwell on that tonight, so after he’d shaved, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a soft cotton shirt, doing up the buttons while thinking about the night ahead. Molly had said that she was going to get a massage and then have a hot bath before dinner, and he’d asked her to join him for the meal. Not with the group, but just the two of them, at their own table. There’d been a moment of hesitation, and then she’d smiled and said yes. The tour group already assumed they had coupled up; it was evident in the assessing yet friendly looks and the way they were often paired together in conversation. And who gave a damn about appearances, anyway?
He had, for a long time. But not now. At least not at this moment.
At the appointed hour he went to her room and knocked on her door. She opened it and for a moment he was speechless. She looked...amazing. Her dress was deep red and wrapped around her body with a tie at her left hip, so that the vee of the neckline hinted at her cleavage and the fabric draped over the curve of her hips. She wore heels, which put her only an inch or so shorter than him, and her hair... She’d done something with it to make it all curly, and then twisted it up somehow in the back, reveal
ing the elegant column of her neck. And she wore makeup tonight, more than he’d seen her wear before. Her eyes glowed and her lips were plump and shiny...and he had the thought that maybe they could skip dinner altogether. He’d loved her figure in her go-to yoga pants and tops on the kayak trip, but right now she was a flat-out bombshell.
“Wow,” he said, swallowing hard, thinking he sounded like an idiot. All those thoughts and all he could get out of his mouth was “wow”?
“I wanted to dress up,” she said softly, reaching for her purse. “You don’t mind?”
“Are you kidding? Except I feel incredibly underdressed.” He should have at least put on a tie.
“Not at all. You look...”
She hesitated, and despite the makeup, her cheeks colored.
“I look what?” he asked, wanting to hear her say it. He didn’t know if tonight was going to be foreplay or torture but he was willing to go along with it and find out.
“You look nice,” she said, stepping out of the room and shutting the door.
But he touched her arm and stood in front of her, so that his body partially blocked her from skirting around him. “Nice is too bland a word for a woman with a vocabulary like yours,” he murmured. Their bodies brushed and he felt her inhale with a shiver. Oh, the attraction was still there. Still simmering.
“If I tell you what I thought, we won’t leave my hotel room. And as good as that sounds, I’m actually very hungry.”
He stepped aside as he laughed. “That I’ll believe. It’s been a long time since lunch.”
Molly looked a little surprised at how he moved aside, so he gave a shrug. “There’s no rush. We have all night. If we want it.”
She didn’t answer. But that was fine, too. When the time came, he’d be sure they were both on the same page. Eyes wide open.
The dining room was about two-thirds full, but the host led them to a table for two, seated next to a wall of windows that overlooked the forest. Twilight was setting in, so that the trees looked more like forms and shadows than branches and leaves, but that was just fine. His attention, for once, wasn’t going to be on the view.
