“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.” He shook his head. “Oops. That’s the wrong thing to say, isn’t it? Let me try again.”
“It’s really OK, Hunter. Gracie says I need to talk about it. Not be ashamed of it.”
“That sounds like good advice.”
“How do you know that? You don’t know what I’ll say.”
“Maybe not, but I know you—at least a little bit. And I can’t believe that you’ve done anything to be ashamed of.”
“That’s sweet. If you have a minute, I’ll tell you all about it. Or at least what I know about.”
“I’ve got nothing but time.”
She explained the circumstances in which she was found.
He listened.
“And that’s it.” She finished.
“See, I was right. I knew you hadn’t done anything to be ashamed of.”
“But you can’t really know that for sure. I don’t know what I did that lead up to what the police believe was a kidnapping.”
“I can know that. Because no matter what you did, you didn’t deserve to be kidnapped for months. And you certainly didn’t deserve to be hurt the way you were hurt. Nobody deserves that.”
“I suppose that’s true. There’s something else. I’ve wanted to talk to you about it anyway.”
“You have?”
“Well, sort of. If I ever get out of here—”
“You mean when you get out of here.”
“You’re right, that’s what I mean. When I get out of here, I want to take some self-defense classes. I want to be able to protect myself. Since you’re a deputy, I thought you might have a recommendation.”
“I absolutely do.”
“Maybe you can get me their information.”
“I can do that. Got a phone?”
She pointed to the nightstand. He picked up her new phone. After pressing in some numbers, his phone began to ring. He handed her the phone and answered his. “Hunter Travis here. Full time sheriff’s deputy, and part-time self-defense instructor.”
She laughed. “Are you kidding?”
He shut off his phone. “Not kidding. I teach at the local Y. Call me when you’re ready. Thank you for talking with me. I’ve learned more about you in the last fifteen minutes than in the three weeks I’ve been here.”
“It’s hard for me to talk about myself. I guess that’s what made me a good reporter. I’d rather let other people talk about themselves.”
“And you will be again.”
She shook her head, her voice adamant. “I don’t want to be a reporter anymore.”
“Why not? You said you were good, and you loved it.”
“I was, and I did, but not anymore. I’m not sure why, I just know I never want to be a reporter again.”
“That’s OK. I’m sure you’ll come up with an even better plan.”
She grinned. “At least I have plenty of time before I have to decide.”
“Not nearly as much as you think. Things happen fast once you reach certain points in therapy. Suddenly you can do things again.” He stood up. “If it’s OK with you, I’d like to stop in every now and then to check on you.”
She hid her smile. “I guess that would be OK.”
15
Hunter was right. Her release time came much sooner than she’d thought possible. She still didn’t know what happened during her missing time, but with God’s help she’d been able to move past the lost memories and look forward to the future.
First and foremost, she wanted to live a life that would honor God. For months after waking up in the hospital, life had been about her. Her pain. Her missing time. Her. Her. Her. It was only when she put the focus where it belonged—on God—that the long process of healing had really begun. Countless hours of therapy—physical and mental—as well as Bible study with Gracie, had brought her to this plan.
Raven was ready to start her life again. After six months, she was leaving the rehab center, finally. And she was walking out. Sure, she had to use a cane, but even that was temporary. She’d been cautioned by everyone to take things slow, though, so she intended to follow those orders.
She was still in recovery—a new stage but still recovering.
The second part of her plan included living in a small house in Charm that she and Amanda had found. Just as the name implied, it was a charming Amish village and not too far from where Amanda lived, but far enough that the two wouldn’t feel obligated to see each other every day. Raven didn’t want to interfere in her sister’s life.
The third part of the plan, the part she hadn’t shared with anyone, was to finish the manuscript she’d been working on since the day Marnie gave her a new laptop. After that she’d have to find a publisher. When she’d started writing that day it was just a way to vent but it had turned into much more than that. It was part diary and part Bible study. She wanted to share with the world what she’d discovered—that God was all powerful, all good, but most importantly, all loving. And, oh, so faithful.
She wasn’t sure what she’d do after the book was published, but she was sure God would reveal it to her when the time was right. And that was just fine with her. She had more than enough to do for now.
“All set?” Amanda walked in.
“More than ready.”
“I still don’t know why you couldn’t just live with us for now. We have the room. And I really don’t like the idea of you living so far away.”
Raven laughed. “It’s less than twenty minutes from your house. I used to live hours away.”
“I still think it would be better if you lived with us. For now.”
“I love you for making the offer, sis, but I think we both know we’d get on each other’s nerves after about three hours. I’ll be close enough to enjoy you and the family but far enough that you won’t get sick of me. Trust me, this way is better.”
“I think I should be insulted, but I’m not.” Her sister fluffed her hair and tossed her head back. “Anyway, your stuff arrived at the house. We arranged the furniture, but if you want to change it let us know. We can certainly do that. I bought you some groceries to get you through the first few days, so you don’t have to run right out to the grocery store.”
“You are an angel, Amanda.”
Amanda smiled. “I’m not, but thanks for saying that. We didn’t go through most of the boxes. We figured you’d want to go through that stuff on your own. But we put the boxes in the rooms marked on them. Marnie did a great job with organizing your things.”
“That’s why she’s the boss. You are too good to me, Amanda.” She looped her arm through her sister’s. Even with the cane, she made Amanda skip a few steps with her. By the time they got down the hall, they were both laughing so hard they had to stop.
Once in the car, Amanda drove out of Millersburg past many farms and a few businesses.
One of the reasons Raven had chosen Charm was that it was off the beaten path. It wasn’t even an incorporated town, although it did have a school, several businesses, and some tourist attractions. Just the sort of place where she could start life over.
Amanda pulled up in front of Raven’s new home. Only one close neighbor. The other houses on the road were far enough away that it would take a few minutes to walk to them.
Raven stared at the house. It was the exact opposite of her apartment in Marietta. This looked like the all-American dream, a tiny, gingerbread cottage with a detached garage surrounded by a white picket fence. Someone had planted flowers that were in full bloom in spite of it only being March, including a beautiful red rose bush.
Amanda turned to her. “It really is a pretty place. I think you’ll be happy here.”
“I think you’re right.” Raven got out of the car, hobbled up the steps, and unlocked the door. “Did you see the deck out back?”
“It’s awesome.”
They walked inside.
Raven stared at the two flowery loveseats that had never quite fit the
décor in her apartment. They were perfect here.
There were boxes everywhere. In the living room. In her bedroom. In the kitchen. She grinned at Amanda. “At least I won’t be bored. It seems as if I have plenty to do.”
“Just don’t try to do it all in one day. And I did manage to get the cable on for you, so you can sit and relax. And make sure you do.”
“OK, Mom.” Raven walked out to the kitchen. “Let’s see if you know how to shop for me.”
A double-layer cake decorated with pink and red roses sat on the counter. Words were painted in the top.
Welcome Home!
Raven looked at her sister. “Perfect. I guess you do know what I like.”
“As much weight as you’ve lost, you need to eat the whole thing yourself.”
“You don’t want a piece?”
“Of course I do. And a cup of coffee.” Amanda pointed at the coffeepot on the counter. “I did manage to find that in the boxes.”
When the coffee was ready the two of them walked out to the small deck. While the front yard had a white picket fence, this one had a wooden privacy fence. Raven could sit out here all day in her pajamas if she felt like it.
“I think you’ll spend a lot of time out here.” Amanda said as she sat down at the round picnic table.
They ate a few bites of the cake in silence, enjoying the calm atmosphere.
“So what are your plans?” Amanda asked. “Not that you need any plans right away. Just curious.”
Raven hadn’t told anybody about her book. For some reason, she wanted to keep the privacy of her thoughts exposed on paper to herself for now. “Well, first thing tomorrow I’m starting self-defense classes.”
“Self-defense classes? Are you up to that physically?”
“I don’t know, but I’m sure going to try. Nobody’s ever kidnapping me again. At least not without me putting up a fight, anyway.”
Amanda nodded.
“Then maybe I’ll see if there are any jobs around here.”
“Really? You’re ready for a job?”
“I didn’t say that I was ready. But I might look around. See if there’s anything available.”
“According to Marnie, your job’s still waiting for you.”
“I don’t want to be reporter.”
“I know. I just don’t understand your attitude. You loved being a reporter.”
“I don’t understand it either, but it is what it is.”
“Don’t rush into any decisions. And you don’t need to take any old job. Take your time.”
“I will, sis. I will.”
Amanda looked at her watch. “Better go if I’m to beat the school bus home.”
Raven stood up and hugged her sister. “I don’t have the words to tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done.”
“Good. No need to tell me. We’re family. That’s what families do. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Amanda stared at her.
“What? Just say whatever it you want to say.”
“Am I that transparent?”
“I always could read you like a book, and you know how much I love to read.”
“Yes, I do. You know your counselor said you might have some issues adjusting. So if you need to talk you call me day or night. Promise. I can be here in fifteen minutes.”
“Only if you speed. I’ll be fine. Stop worrying about me.”
Her sister’s eyes filled with tears. “I know you’re the one this happened to, but I was so sure I would never see you again. I’m…I’m…I just want you to understand you’re not a burden to me. If you need me, you call. Got it?”
Raven hugged her, a little teary eyed herself. “Got it.”
Amanda left.
Raven sat back down, looking out at her little yard feeling the sun’s heat. Her mind and body relaxed, truly relaxed, for the first time in months. No façade, no pretending, no hyper-awareness that others were watching and expecting her to work things through.
Alone.
The first time she’d been truly alone in almost a year. Sure she’d had a private room at the rehab but people were only a buzz away if she needed them. But no more. She was on her own.
Raven wasn’t sure how she felt.
She shook off the confusing, restless feeling and walked back in the kitchen. Seeing the cake made her stomach rumble, and she ate a few more bites. The boxes in the kitchen looked out of place, so she opened one. Working filled her mind. She went through boxes, sorted, and organized until bedtime. As she got ready for bed, a sense of uneasiness stirred.
Maybe this part of her plan wasn’t as good as she’d originally thought. Amanda’s idea of living with her family seemed more appealing as she walked through the house once again, double-checking the locks, for the third time. If anyone saw through the windows, the boxes showed someone was moving in or out. Perhaps giving the impression it was unoccupied.
Oh, well. Too late now. She crawled into her bed, knowing there was no way she’d sleep even though she was exhausted. It was too quiet.
And she was all alone.
16
In a barn. Chains around her ankle and her wrist. Raven wanted to scream but couldn’t. She lay there not moving, terror washing over her like waves on a beach. She was too afraid to even open her eyes. Help me, God. Help me, God. Help me, God. I don’t want to be here. Finally, her racing heart slowed, and she found the courage to open her eyes.
Not in a barn. But in a bed—her bed in her bedroom in her own house. In Charm, Ohio. Safe. Nobody was hurting her. Raven laid there, still not moving. She touched the cotton sheets. The quilt. They felt real. But that barn felt real, too. She could almost smell it.
Her hands clutched the cotton sheet. I’m safe. I’m safe.
Birds chirped outside her window.
Just a dream—more like a nightmare. It was to be expected her first night in a new house alone. Raven sat up allowing time to acclimate to this new reality. A sunny March morning in Charm, Ohio in her own house. She took a deep breath—then understood why she’d dreamt about a barn.
She wasn’t in Marietta now.
She was in horse country with all the lovely scents associated with it. She peeked out the window. A horse and buggy was in her neighbor’s drive. No wonder she dreamt about a barn.
Raven walked to the kitchen, ignoring all the boxes she still needed to go through. She would have plenty of time to do that. She poured a glass of milk. She was still taking a few meds because of pain but it was getting better.
Her small deck was inviting, and she sat down with a piece of cake to go with the milk.
Birds chirped.
This house was so perfectly adorable but so different from her life in the city. Would she miss a place without restaurants and museums? She wasn’t sure. But for now, this seemed a much better fit for her. She was renting right now, but if her plan worked out, she might just buy the place. If she liked living in Charm. No quick decisions. Just one day at a time.
As Raven listened to the birds, she couldn’t get that dream out of her head. She rubbed her wrist; she could almost feel the chain around it. Maybe it wasn’t just a dream but a memory.
Her doctors had said she could recover her memories at any time. Could that barn and the chains have really happened? She closed her eyes, trying to remember. But if it was a memory, it was gone now.
It was time to get moving. She went in the house, found her phone, and dialed the number.
A deep male voice answered, “Hello.”
“Is this Hunter Travis?”
“It is.”
“This is Raven Marks. From rehab.” She hadn’t seen him since he’d left, though he’d asked to stop by. But she didn’t care about being his friend—she needed a self-defense instructor.
“How are you, Raven? I’ve been thinking about stopping in to see you, but I’ve been so busy.”
“Not a problem. I’m still interested in setting up some self-defense classes
with someone. If you’re too busy, maybe you can suggest someone else.”
“Are you out of rehab already?”
“Moved out yesterday.”
“That’s awesome. I told you it wouldn’t take as long as you thought. I actually have some time open today.”
“Perfect.”
An hour later, Raven walked out to the garage. She stared at her car. The last time she’d been in it, something bad had happened. Maybe she should trade it in? But she really didn’t have extra money for a new car right now. Still she sort of hated it.
Pitiful or powerful?
She chose powerful and opened the car door. Her purse and insulated lunch bag, with two bottles of water and a can of soda, went on the passenger side floor. Martina had told her after exercise to keep hydrated. She wasn’t sure what the gym would offer, so she decided to bring her own.
At the Millersburg Fitness Center, she walked up to the reception desk. “I’m looking for Hunter Travis.”
“Right behind you, Raven.” He grinned as she turned. “You look great. And walking on your own. That’s awesome. I don’t want to, but I have to say I told you so.”
“Yes, you did.”
“How’s the pain?”
“It’s OK. I have some, but it’s getting better every day.”
“Want to sit down?” He motioned at two chairs. “Let’s talk for a few minutes before we start the session.”
She nodded, suddenly self-conscious as her cane clicked on the floor. Her cheeks warmed. She forced a smile as she sat down.
“I want to apologize. I asked if I could stop by and visit and then I never did.”
“No apology needed. I know picking up with one’s life can be hectic until one gets it all sorted out.”
“Still, I’m sorry. I really meant to stop by.” His apologetic expression was sincere. “So, what are your goals for your sessions with me?”
“I want to be able to protect myself. Plain and simple.”
“Are you still in physical therapy?”
“Once a week but she thinks that should only be for another month or so.”
“Is it OK with Martina for you to take self-defense classes? I’ll need a written release from her.”
She pulled a paper out of her purse. “Here it is.”
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