by H.H. Fowler
“We’re not going to die, Tayah!”
Dominic kept the steering wheel turned tightly to the left as he floored the accelerator. The engine roared, which sent the car across the mouth of an eighteen-wheeler. It narrowly escaped a head-on crash. The car spun violently in the dust before coming to rest in a shallow ditch. The driver of the eighteen-wheeler jumped down to the asphalt and ran toward the other vehicle while inspecting it for any signs of noticeable damage.
“Hey! You two all right?” He placed his forehead against the window and peered inside. “I could have killed you back there! What on earth were you thinking?”
Dominic’s hand shook as he rolled down his window. “Sorry, I, I didn’t see you –”
“Obviously not! One second more and you two would have been under my truck.” He swiped at the perspiration dripping from his brows. “Have you been drinking?”
“No, sir…”
“Then; what the hell were you doing?”
Dominic felt a wave of guilt, just thinking about his answer. He did not dare confess to this man that he had been about to plant his lips all over Tayah Paxton-Benjamin – a kiss that would have been their first and perhaps, their last. He turned his head toward her and saw the same guilt shifting in her beautiful brown eyes.
“You kids are lucky,” the man told them. “You two have much to be thankful for. Do you need me to call an ambulance?”
Dominic checked himself and then Tayah. No one was bleeding, so he assumed a trip to the hospital would be a waste of time. “No, sir. I think we’re fine. Just a little shaken up.”
“All right, then. I’m about to take off,” the man said. “Pull your car onto the road to make sure you can move.”
“Yes, sir.” Dominic eased his foot from the brakes and let the car roll forward. “We’re good. Thank you…”
“Don’t thank me. Thank the Big Man upstairs.”
“Take me home to my husband,” Tayah instructed Dominic as soon as the man left them alone. “That’s where I should have been headed to begin with. Maybe this is God’s way of letting me know –”
“Stop it, Tayah.” Dominic had known Tayah long enough to know that she often took the blame for situations that were out of her control. Clearly, he was at fault, because he was the one who’d carelessly taken his eyes off the road. “If there’s anyone to blame, it should be me. I’m the one driving...”
“But I distracted you, Dominic.” She felt disgusted by her actions and could barely look at him. “For a stupid kiss, I could have gotten both of us killed tonight.”
“We’re alive and that’s what counts…”
“I shouldn’t have crossed the line with you like that.”
“C’mon, Tayah, you didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do –”
“I forced myself on you, Dominic.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Tayah hid her face in her hands. “My God, I am so embarrassed…this should have never happened…”
Dominic felt the only way that he could get Tayah to relax was to confess his feelings for her. Maybe she would understand that this situation was not only about her. He had not planned to do it, but somehow, after having such a close call, it gave him the guts to tell all. “Does it help to know I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first time your father introduced you to me?”
Tayah’s expression went from horrified to unconvinced. “Dominic, you can’t be serious. Why are you telling me this now?”
“It’s the God’s honest truth,” he tried. “You remember that night, right? When our church visited your church? My stepfather was one of the conference speakers…”
“For a guy who’d almost been killed, your memory is certainly ticking, tonight,” she said.
Dominic continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “Seven years ago. I will never forget that night. When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about you…”
Tayah rolled her eyes.
“I’m not playing. I thought we would get married one day.”
“What made you believe that? You never even told me how you felt.”
“How could I? I was in a relationship with a girl from my stepfather’s church. By the time that we’d broken up, you and Phillip had already started seeing each other.”
Tayah grew silent. She reflected on the time when Dominic first started to visit Mount Moriah on his own. He would go to his church in the morning, and at night, he would hang out at Mount Moriah. Before she knew it, Dominic had become a full-fledged member. Leaving his stepfather’s church had not been an easy decision for Dominic.
“It’s too late now,” she told him, not appreciating Dominic’s untimely announcement about his feelings for her. Maybe if he’d told her this before her life flashed before her eyes, it would not have seemed so inappropriate. “I’m married to Phillip,” she reminded him.
Dominic smiled regrettably. “Yes, and it is to my detriment that I allowed it to happen. All I want is for you to be happy, Tayah, and if Phillip’s the one you choose, then I’ll have to back away and let you live your life. It hurts like hell, but it’s the right thing to do.”
I didn’t just ‘choose’ Phillip, Tayah thought. Phillip pursued me. YOU didn’t. “Why are relationships so complicated?” she suddenly asked.
Dominic glanced at her before he made a right turn at a stop sign. “I think it’s all about give and take,” he told her. “When we don’t follow the rules, we suffer the consequences…”
She looked at him. “Dominic, that was a rhetorical question.”
“It was?” He grinned. “Cause I was about to bless you with a sermon.”
“I know. That’s why I stopped you…”
An awkward pause triggered Dominic’s next question. “Are you okay?”
She did her best to smile away his concern, but on the inside, she was wrestling with her understanding about what had caused her to act as she had tonight. It was as if she had no control over her lustful appetite. She had never acted this way with a man, not even when she and Phillip were dating. The fact that she’d been willing to spend the night in Dominic’s bed, shook her morals to the core. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,” she said.
Dominic kept his eyes on her as he brought his car to a stop in front of her condominium. “I know you’re still thinking about what happened tonight…”
“How can I not? We almost lost our lives over something stupid…”
“I don’t want to dwell on what could have happened –”
“You don’t understand what this is doing to me right now.” She placed her hands over her temples. “I’m confused, frightened, and everything in between. I don’t know what this means for us.”
He didn’t know either, but he wasn’t about to let her tell him something he didn’t want to hear. “Nothing has changed between us. We are still –”
“Everything’s changed, Dominic.” She gave him a frustrating look. “The old dynamic is lost. That’s what you told the youth in the forum this week. Have you forgotten?”
“No, Tayah, I haven’t forgotten,” he told her. “But that would have applied, only if we’d crossed the line.”
“We almost did!”
Dominic knew Tayah was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to agree with her. A part of him wanted to compromise his stance on sexual sins, as in trying to figure out how far was too far. Would it have been a huge sin if he had kissed her tonight? Of course, under different circumstances, he would have strongly agreed that it would have been.
“I hope this doesn't mean you're gonna start avoiding me again.”
“I don’t know what I want to do, Dominic. I just think we should have better control of our emotions.”
I was doing fine until you made the first move, Dominic thought. “That may be easy for you because I’m not sure how you really feel about me.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I’m just saying, Tayah. You know how I feel about you. It’s out in the
open, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life waiting for something I can’t have.”
A glint of fire grew in her eyes. “A minute ago, you just said that you wanted me to be happy with Phillip. Now, you’re asking me to divorce him?”
“I’m not asking you to do that…”
“Then what are you asking?”
“I want you to be honest about your feelings. I need to know how you feel about me.”
“Oh God, Dominic, you are confused.” She didn’t want him to think she was being insensitive, but Dominic was making it extremely hard. “You are one of my closet friends –”
“You know what I mean.”
“What difference does it make? I’m married to Phillip.”
He furrowed his brows at her. “So, you’re using your marriage as an excuse not to tell me how you feel?”
“It’s not an excuse, Dominic,” she shot back. “I’m committed to my husband. I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t love him.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really!”
“Then what was tonight all about? You only wanted me to satisfy your flesh?” As soon as those words left his mouth, Dominic knew he regretted it. But he was not going to allow Tayah to play him like some puppet on Sesame Street.
“I can’t believe you just said that.” She reached for her purse and everything else that belonged to her. “I’m leaving…”
“Why? Because I’ve told you the truth?”
“No, because you just made me sound like some cheap slut.” She jumped out of the car and slammed the door for good measure. But she had one more thing to tell him, so she reopened the door and stuck her head in. “And I think we should stop hanging out for a while. Things are getting too complicated between us.”
“I couldn’t agree mo –”
She slammed the door again, before Dominic had the chance to complete his comeback. He wanted to act immature by driving off, leaving her alone in the dark to fish for her keys, but times were dangerous and he didn’t want his antics to jeopardize her safety.
However, Tayah couldn’t get inside soon enough. The embarrassment was killing her. How could a night that had started so beautifully, end in such disaster? She was convinced it was a warning from God. She jabbed her key in the door like a mad woman. Once inside, she leaned against the door and closed her eyes in prayer.
Lord, please forgive me for all of the foolishness I was about to do tonight. I can’t explain what came over me, but I know you weren’t happy with my actions. Please help me to stand in the face of my temptation.
A small disturbance caused her to fling her eyes open. She gasped in horror as her husband came into view.
“Phillip, you frightened me!”
“You’re nothing but an old skank!”
“What are you ta –”
The first blow sent her staggering in confusion. She tumbled over the coffee table that was in the foyer. Her vision even seemed to blur.
“If you wanted Organ Boy, all you had to do was tell me!”
She pressed the back of her hand against her bloody lip, completely flabbergasted. “You lost your mind? What the hell has gotten into you?”
Phillip pointed his drunken fingers at her. “You try that crap again and you won’t be standing here breathing.”
Chapter Two
