“What are you gonna do?” he asked. We were almost to the gym and I needed to get over to the parking lot to meet Tierney.
“Nothing.”
Grayson stopped short again and gave me a look. “Nothing? Come on, man. Even I can tell you like this girl.”
“And you gossip like a girl.” It was a completely sexist thing to say, but as far as deflections went, it was perfect. I shouldn’t have told him anything.
Grayson frowned. “Shut up.”
See?
We arrived at the gym. It wasn’t far from where I was supposed to meet Tierney. “I’ll see you later.”
Grayson headed toward the locker room walking backward. He pointed at me. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
I waved off his comment and started for the student parking lot. I’d just turned the corner when someone jumped out from an empty classroom.
“Hey, Noah!”
“Trina! What the hell are you doing?” She about gave me a heart attack. I put a hand to my chest and glared at her.
“I needed to talk to you, but you’ve blocked my number and I can’t find you on any social media sites.” Her lips pouted as her eyes glossed over with manipulative tears.
“We’ve been over this. We are done. I don’t want you calling me.” What was this girl’s problem? Irritated, I began to walk away.
Trina grabbed my arm.
After what happened last time, I wasn’t about to let her touch me again. I stopped and pinned her with a harsh glare. “Don’t. Just. Don’t.” I yanked my arm out of her grasp with enough force she almost fell flat on her face. At this point, I didn’t care. I started walking again. Her high heeled steps followed close behind.
“But Noah, the dance is only a few weeks away!”
I stopped again and faced her. She smiled and her eyes had this hopeful gleam that made me feel like she might belong in an institution somewhere.
“I already asked someone else.” I hadn’t, but now that the words were out I knew exactly who I wanted to take to the dance. Even if there was nothing between us, I’d rather go with Tierney just as friends than go with anyone else.
Trina reared back with a gasp, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Who?” Her eyes glassed over and I almost felt sorry for her.
I shook my head. “I’m not telling you that. It’s none of your business.” Plus, I still had to ask her and there was a distinct possibility she’d say no.
“Not-” Trina choked on the word. She shook her head back and forth. “Not my business? Noah, how could you say that?” Her voice gained strength with each word she spoke and I got the feeling I was in for another scene.
“Because it’s true. We are not together. I broke up with you.” I was done with this. Who knew breaking up with someone could be such a headache? I thought things were bad when we were together, but this was almost worse.
No.
That wasn’t true. It was a relief to not be going out with her anymore. I just wished she would get it through her head that we were done and leave me alone. I didn’t want to be mean to her or anyone, but this was getting ridiculous.
Trina latched onto my arm again. I had to clench my fists to keep from lashing out at her.
“Hey, Noah. Are you ready to go?”
Thank goodness for Tierney. She appeared out of nowhere at my side. Trina was so surprised, she loosened her hold on me. I stepped out of her reach, hooking a hand through Tierney’s elbow and propelling her toward the exit.
“Hurry,” I murmured under my breath. Tierney didn’t need any encouragement and by the time reached the door, we were running.
“What was that all about?” she asked, wearing a worried expression.
I steered us toward my car. “Same old crazy Trina.”
Tierney shook her head and frowned as I opened the door to the back seat so we could toss our backpacks inside.
“That’s kind of getting old, isn’t it? Don’t you think you should do something about it?” She slipped into the passenger’s seat like we’d done this a hundred times and I couldn’t help feeling a sense of satisfaction as I worked my way behind the wheel. It occurred to me I liked having Tierney sitting next to me. Not like she did at school because she had to, but here where it was her choice.
“I just want her to leave me alone. I never would have asked her out in the first place if I’d known it was going to end up like this.” I didn’t even like her that much which gave me pause. I’d have to be more careful in the future who I spent my time with.
I started my car and pulled out of the parking lot onto the street in front of the school. There was a burger place a couple of blocks away a lot of us went to after games so I drove there.
Tierney didn’t say much but I could see her biting at her lip and her hands were clasped tight in her lap.
“Hey, it’s no big deal. She’s just crazy. Annoying.”
Tierney faced me. Keeping my eyes on the road, I reached out to cover both other her hands with one of mine. She surprised me by gripping it between them.
“What she’s doing is no joke, Noah. You should tell somebody.”
The fear in her voice made me frown. I pulled into the parking lot. Once the car was parked, I turned to face her. “She hasn’t been bothering you, has she?”
Tierney pulled back her chin. “No. Why would you think that?”
Watching her carefully, I reached out to smooth the wrinkle between her brow. “Because you seem so worried, that’s why.”
She batted my hand away. “I’m worried about you, you dummy!”
There was no stopping my smile. “You’re worried about me, huh?”
“Bullying is serious, Noah.”
Bullying? The moisture welling in her eyes wiped the smile off my face. “Hey.” I reached for her hands, grateful that she let me hold onto them. “I’m okay. I can handle Trina.”
I didn’t know if I would call what Trina was doing bullying. Harassing, yes. Driving me crazy, definitely. But bullying?
“That doesn’t make what she’s doing okay.”
I couldn’t disagree with that. “I know.” I took a moment to really get a look at Tierney. “Hey.” I tilted her chin so I could see her better and caught a tear rolling down her cheek on the tip of my finger. “What’s going on, Tierney?”
If Trina was bothering Tierney I was going to lose my mind. But she said it wasn’t that. Was there someone else at school bothering her? Tierney wasn’t the most popular girl in school, but I’d never seen anyone giving her a hard time. “Is someone hurting you?”
I was ready to fight whoever I needed to, all she had to do was say the word. But she wasn’t saying anything. I took hold of her shoulders.
“Tierney, is someone hurting you? You can tell me.” And I’d make sure it stopped. No matter what.
She shook her head. “No, Noah. No one is hurting me.”
Then why was she crying? I wanted to think her tears were because she was worried about me, because that would mean she cared. But that wasn’t what this was. My thoughts were all over the place. What had happened to her? Had someone bullied her in the past? The thought made me sick. Who was it? Someone at home? Her old school?
Without thinking, I pulled her against me. It wasn’t easy in the front seat of my car and when she didn’t protest and instead buried her face in my chest, I backed up my seat and lifted her into my lap.
“Hey, come on. Talk to me.” She shivered in my arms and I turned the dial to crank up the heat in the car.
15
Tierney
There in Noah’s arms I wanted to tell him everything. The things Trina was doing scared me, reminded me of something else and it hurt to think of something bad happening to Noah. I told him it was a bad idea for us to kiss again and I believed that. But it didn’t mean I didn’t care. It didn’t mean I didn’t want to. The concern in his eyes, the genuine care he showed me; I could feel him breaking down my walls.
But I couldn’t do anyt
hing about that if I wasn’t honest with him, if didn’t tell him about my past.
“Did you know I was a cheerleader at my old school?” I asked before I could chicken out.
Noah’s eyes widened and he shook his head.
I shifted in his lap so I could see his face better. “I was. Crazy, huh?” I watched him carefully, gauging his reaction.
“Honestly? Not really. It makes sense actually.” He reached up and tucked the hair obscuring half my face behind my ear. “Man, you’re beautiful.”
I didn’t think he meant to say that out loud. The way he was looking at me made me blush and bolstered my desire to share my story with him.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“Why’d you quit?” he asked, settling his arms around me again.
“I was a sophomore. It was before my mom married Doug. We lived just outside Indy. It wasn’t a huge school. Actually it was a lot like Eastridge Heights. You know where everyone kind of grows up together.” I’d known the kids in my grade all my life with the exception of the few new kids that moved in over the years.
Noah nodded. I could see he understood.
“I started cheering in middle school. We had a great coach and it was a big deal. We didn’t just cheer at games. We also competed against other schools in the state. My freshman year, the varsity squad went to Nationals. They didn’t win, but just the fact that they went was a big deal.”
I remembered how excited everyone was. It was huge to go to Nationals and we worked hard helping them perfect their routines.
“I had stars in my eyes, you know,” I continued. Noah just listened, his fingers rubbing small circles on my back, encouraging me to go on. “I wanted to be them so bad. We didn’t have a lot of money, Mom and me before she married Doug. But I worked babysitting for our neighbor to earn money to go to this month long cheer camp and Mom paid for me to go to gymnastics so I could work on my tumbling.” I met his aquamarine eyes. “I worked so hard.” My voice cracked. I wanted it so badly. “I practiced all the time, watched videos of old cheer competitions.” I shrugged.
“I understand. I’m like that about basketball. It takes a lot of work to get good at something. Even if you have natural talent.”
I nodded. I could see he did understand what it was like to want something like that. “Every year we all had to go through the process of trying out. It was more like an assessment than an actual tryout for those of us who’d been on the squad. Our coach used tryouts to place us on JV or Varsity. Then there are the different positions. Flyers. Bases. Spotters. I was a flyer.”
Noah’s brow wrinkled. “A flyer?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “A flyer is the one that goes in the air. I’ve always been tiny and light. Gymnastics really helped, too.”
Noah’s lips twitched. “I can totally see that. Is it scary? I think I’d have a hard time trusting the girls holding me up.”
He had no idea. “You aren’t kidding. But we worked hard and trust was a big issue. We did a lot of team building exercises and if our coach saw anyone not being a team player, she addressed it right away.”
Noah nodded. “So, what happened, Tierney?” His voice was gentle and the tenderness in his expression caused a lump to rise in my throat. I’d told him all the easy stuff. The rest would open old wounds I hadn’t even told Hannah. I was rethinking my reasons for not discussing this with her. I’d kept it to myself because it was difficult to talk about, but bullying was a serious issue and maybe my story could help her.
But first, I needed to tell Noah. For a lot of reasons.
“Not many sophomores made the Varsity squad, but I did. I was thrilled. It was more expensive because they traveled more, but Mom took a second job and I babysat whenever I could to help out.” I choked up talking about it. Mom had sacrificed so much so I could fulfill my dream. We both had. And for what?
Noah’s face radiated compassion, but I couldn’t look at him. If I did I wouldn’t be able to finish. Instead, I focused my gaze out the window.
“A new girl moved to our school just as my sophomore year started. She made it onto the Varsity squad. She was a junior and for some reason decided she didn’t like me because I was only a sophomore.”
For the next few minutes I told him all about Alexa and the ways she tried to get me to quit the cheer squad.
“She was slick about it, too. Like I said, our coach was big on us working together as a team. Everything she did was done so it would be difficult to prove it was her or it was her word against mine. At first, when things started happening, I went to the coach and told her what was going on. I could tell she wanted to believe me, but since I didn’t have any proof there was nothing she could do. It was just annoying things, you know, like stuff missing from my locker or accidentally stepping on me in practice.”
“But then, she began to turn my friends against me. Telling them lies like I was flirting with their boyfriends or talking about them behind their backs. Stupid girl stuff that I’d never done and they shouldn’t have believed, but Alexa was good. She was a manipulator and as fake as they come. She acted like she was my friend in front of people. Giving me pointers during practice. Complimenting my outfit.” I shook my head. “She was a pro.”
“What a bitch,” Noah said.
I finally glanced at his face and I could tell I was painting a good picture of what Alexa was like.
“Yeah. She really is,” I sighed.
Noah nudged my shoulder with his. “So, then what?”
I took a deep breath before continuing. The worst was yet to come. “Once I realized telling on her wasn’t going to get me anywhere, I started backing down, I guess.” Noah grumbled his disagreement with that in his throat. “I know. I know. But I didn’t know what else to do. She hadn’t actually hurt me. I mean, she was hurting me, but most of it was emotional.” I shook my head. “My friends had turned against me and cheer was turning out to be my worst nightmare, but I wasn’t going to give it up. I’d worked too hard. Mom and I had given up so much.”
“Games stopped being fun and when I wasn’t cheering, I started sitting with the band. I’d been friends with this girl, Lizzy, when we were younger and we struck up our friendship again. I told her about what was going on with the other girls and she wasn’t one to back down from a fight so she started saying stuff to Alexa.”
“Ooh,” Noah winced.
“Yeah. Exactly. I wasn’t the only one on Alexa’s radar anymore.” I looked into Noah’s eyes and knew he could see the sadness reflecting from mine. His brows came together and his jaw clenched. “Alexa was relentless. It was so bad that I didn’t know what to do. For some reason, I came to the conclusion that if Lizzy and I weren’t friends anymore Alexa would back off.” My voice broke. I crumpled against Noah.
“Oh, man.” He held me close, his arms tight around my waist. I tucked my face into his tee shirt. He smelled so good. Being close to him was comforting. I wrapped my arms under his, gripping his shoulders.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore.”
I sobbed at the tenderness in his voice, but I knew I had to get this out. I needed to finish what I started.
“An upperclassman asked me to Homecoming. His name was Dalton. I was excited to go with him. He was cute and popular. I thought maybe things were changing.” I was stupid. “The night of the dance I saw Lizzy there. She’d gone with a bunch of the band kids and they’d stuck together most of the night. I saw Alexa walk by and say something that made Lizzy frown, but other than that she left Lizzy alone. When the dance was almost over, I excused myself to go to the restroom. When I walked in, Alexa was in there with some of her friends, my old friends, and so was Lizzy.”
“This story really sucks.” Noah held my head against his chest and I felt his lips in my hair.
“Well, when it was all said and done, Lizzy and I both looked like Cinderella after the step-sisters were through with her. Dalton took me home. I don’t think he knew what to do. We weren’t dating or an
ything and I never talked to him again. Mom worked the late shift that night so she wasn’t there when I got home. I never told her what happened.” I paused. “I wish I had.”
“After that, things didn’t really get better. I considered quitting the cheer squad and talked to my coach about it. She talked me into staying and planned an overnight at her house for everyone. I was terrified to go. I had no idea what Alexa could do. When I said something to my coach, she reassured me there would be parents there overnight and everything would be fine. And it was for the most part.” Until it wasn’t.
“Do I even want to know?” Noah asked, his voice strained.
I tilted my head back to get a look at him. “I won’t tell you if you don’t want to know.” I hadn’t gotten to the worst part yet. Not even close.
Noah sighed and his eyes met mine. “I think you’ve held this in long enough, don’t you?”
“Are you sure?” He didn’t know what he was saying.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I just feel so bad you had to go through all of that.”
I shook my head. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I wasn’t the one suffering the most.” And I never even knew how bad it was.
“Lizzy?” Noah asked.
I nodded. “It was the morning of the slumber party. It felt like I’d just let my eyes close when I heard a scream. We rushed to the sound. One of the girls, a senior named Lindsay, was the coach’s daughter. She opened the back door to let the dog out. That’s when she saw her. It was too late.”
“Oh, my God.”
Noah crushed me against him as I cried picturing the gruesome image of my friend, lifeless in my cheer coach’s backyard. I saw her every time I closed my eyes. It was why I began reading so much. I needed something to block it out. Not that it worked very well.
Noah held me a long time, quietly allowing me to purge myself of the tears, tears that always seemed to replenish themselves every couple of weeks since it happened. I figured I would cry for Lizzy the rest of my life.
“I’m so sorry, Tierney.” Noah’s voice was broken and when I finally lifted my head it was to see his own cheeks streaked with tears.
Dating: On the Rebound Page 11
