by Erin Trejo
“Fuck you smell so goddamn good. I want to eat that pussy right here,” he tells her softly.
What did I just hear? He wouldn’t actually do that would he? She wouldn’t I don’t think. Would she? When they pull apart he kisses her right on the lips. My jaw hits the floor. The man finally looks over and notices me. His eyes widen and he licks his lips.
“You brought me a replacement? Oh Whitley I take back all the bad things I’ve ever said about you,” he quips before coming toward me. He wraps me up in his arms and I start to get uncomfortable.
“She isn’t for you. She’s Viking’s. Now unhand her before her man has to deball you,” Whitley giggles.
The man pulls back and introduces himself, “Jackson, Jack, Daddy, or Sir. Whichever you prefer to call me. It’s all good.”
I take his extended hand as I laugh a little, “Carnie.”
“So what brings you around?” Jackson asks as he motions for us to follow him to the couch.
Jackson moves to the fridge and grabs us a few beers. He passes each of us one before he drops down into the chair across from us.
“Well, long story short? This is Fin’s sister. She’s fucking Viking whom you know is the prez. Fin found out and went bat shit crazy. They got into a huge fight and now Carnie is being held against her will at the clubhouse,” Whitley says in one long breath before she takes a drink of her beer. Jackson looks from her to me with his eyebrow raised.
“Fucking the prez. So, do tell. How is that going? Is his cock as big as I like to think it is? I’ve seen him a few times with that bulge, so don’t lie to me girl,” Jackson goes on rambling while Whitley and I laugh.
He’s really laid back and easy to be around.
“It’s going I guess. It’s sort of weird being with him. He’s so different when we’re alone.”
Jackson nods like he knows what I’m talking about.
“It’s the same for me. They look at me like I’m just a piece of man meat, but when I slap out my salami they freak,” he says this while waving his hand through the air like it’s nothing.
“He does have a big dick. Ask that hot guy he was with. What was his name?” Whitley looks over at Jackson as she rolls a joint.
“Which one?” Jackson laughs.
Whit brings the joint to her lips and lights it up. We pass it around for a while when my phone rings. I’m too busy laughing to care who it is. I slide it out and answer it without looking.
“Hello?”
“What the hell made you think it was a smart move to move out Carnie? You fucking said you loved me,” Eric’s voice thunders through the line. Whitley’s eyes shoot to mine no doubt having heard him.
“You sent someone after me Eric. He had a knife to my spine,” I snap into the phone.
“Oh, shit is going to get real now,” Jackson sings which makes me giggle.
“Is that the motherfucker you’re sleeping with?” Eric asks.
“No. He’s gay.”
“Oh no honey. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual,” Jackson’s voice rings through the air.
All of us are laughing together, but the threat of Eric becomes nothing.
“You better get your ass back home Carnie. Don’t make me chase you down. I will. I will fucking find you. In fact, I know where you are right now. Maybe I should show up?”
His words chase the high right out of me. He can’t know where I am. Can he? I see Whitley grab her phone and start texting rapidly.
“Stay away from me Eric. You should have never sent someone after me. I was going to come home until you did that,” I inform him.
“Yeah? Was that before or after you fucked the Soulless Bastard’s President?” his snarl scares me.
A shiver races down my spine and tears spring to my eyes. Jackson stands and comes toward me. He takes my phone from my shaking hand.
“Listen you little shit. You stay away from her. Stop calling her phone and if you were smart you wouldn’t show up here,” he snaps into the phone before he hangs it up. He drops onto the couch next to me and pulls me into his arms.
“Mason said to answer your phone,” Whitley tells me.
I look at her as if she has lost her mind, but then my phone starts to ring. Jackson hands it to me and I answer it. Before I can even say hello Viking’s voice thunders through the line, “Where the fuck are you? What the hell were you thinkin’?”
I look to Whitley for help, but she just shrugs.
“I went with Whitley,” I say softly not knowing how much to tell him. I don’t want to cause trouble for her, Mason, or Jackson.
“Tell me where the fuck you are. Right. Now.”
His tone is harsh. He’s pissed or maybe he’s beyond pissed. Either way I’m trembling. Jackson reaches for the phone, takes it from my hand, and brings it to his ear.
“Hey lover boy. Remember me?”
I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I can hear Viking screaming.
“She’s fine. I’m very capable of taking care of her. You know what I mean?” he says.
Whitley laughs loudly.
“No that wasn’t her. That was Whitley. We’re at my place. I have them all locked up nice and tight. Don’t you worry.”
I glance at Whitley, but she’s so high everything is funny to her.
“Oh. Yes, sir. I will tell her that.”
Jackson lowers the phone and presses the end button. He looks at me and grins.
“Lover boy said you better be ready when he gets here. Said he is going to spank you so hard that you won’t walk for a week. He also said that if I touch you that he will rip my dick off and shove it into a grinder. And as for you miss giggles? Mason is coming with him. You two are in trouble,” Jackson laughs which makes us all laugh.
17
Viking
She left the fucking clubhouse without telling me? She went with Whitley to see Jackson of all people? The way they were laughing and carrying on I wouldn’t be surprised to find them high as fuck. My palms are twitching to get a piece of her. I’ve never been so pissed off in my entire life before.
I pull into the parking lot and spot Mason’s truck. He’s just as pissed off as I am. He kept telling me to stay calm. Jackson was actually a good guy, but the more I think about him the more I want to rip his spine out. Add to that the fact that Eric was calling her and I’m ready to blow.
I stalk up the stairs to the apartment and slam my fist against the door. Jackson opens the door with wide eyes.
“Come on in,” he says gesturing for me to enter.
I walk in, but stare at him the whole time until I see her. She’s sitting on the couch, her eyes are wide and red, and she’s got a bag of chips in her hands.
“You been smokin’?” I ask her in a growling tone.
“Um…” she looks to Whitley for help, but goes still when Mason walks in.
“That’s not a goddamn answer Carnie.”
Mason rests his hand on my shoulder. He’s trying to calm me, but it does little more than piss me off even further.
“We smoked a joint. It was only one so stop acting like her father Viking,” Whitley says to me.
My eyes jerk to hers. She’s right isn’t she? Fuck me. That’s exactly what I’m doing. No, fuck that. I’m acting like her old man not her father.
“Why don’t you worry about you and your man and let me worry about me and my girl, yeah? I ain’t actin’ like a father. I’m actin’ like a concerned man.”
Whitley’s eyes widen a little at my outburst, but before anyone can say anything further I turn and walk back outside. This is all a load of bullshit and I am not in the mood for it. I have a run to the docks coming up plus all this shit with Eric and his little group of bitches. Maybe I did fuck everything up with her? I start to stomp my way down the steps when her voice stops me. “What the fuck do you want from me?” she screams from behind me. I turn to look at her as she trudges down the steps behind me.
“What do I want? I want you to act like an adult and like
you’ve got a little common sense. I get you’re young and you need space, but fuck Carnie does it have to be while you’ve got some goddamn people after you?”
She watches me while she makes it the few final steps until she’s right in front of me. She’s one step up from me, putting us at equal height. She can’t look away from me now. We’re eye to eye.
“You don’t get it Viking. This has nothing to do with my age,” she says and stomps her foot.
I chuckle at that, but I know she’s trying to make a point here.
“Then what’s it about?”
“I told you I was bored. Do you know that all I ever did was sit in that apartment Eric and I shared? I didn’t go out. I wasn’t allowed to have any friends. My life is nonexistent Viking. I’m nonexistent.” Her face flushes and tears fill her eyes. “I’m twenty-two-years-old and I’m nothing. I have absolutely nothing going for me. I have no friends. I don’t even have a job.” Sobs choke her. Her hands come up to cover her mouth. She’s ripping my goddamn heart out with her words.
“You’re not nothin’ Carnie. He held you back. I don’t wanna do the same thing, I just don’t want you to get hurt either.”
I can only hope that she understands my concern for her. When she doesn’t respond I reach for her and pull her into me. I hold her tightly.
“I’m suffocating Viking. I don’t know what I’m fucking doing anymore.”
Her cries become louder and harder. I take a deep breath and sigh before I pull away and reach up to cup her cheeks.
“What we’re doin’ is this. I’m gonna handle that asshole Eric. I’m gonna make him regret ever fuckin’ with you. Then you are gonna enroll in college and become whatever the hell you wanna be. That’s what we’re doin’ Carnie.”
She looks at me and shakes her head, “I can’t afford college. I don’t even know if I’d be accepted. I just…”
I crush her lips to mine to silence her. That’s more than enough of her bullshit talk. I’m sick of hearing it now. When I pull away she’s breathless.
“I didn’t say any of that. What I’m askin’ you is if you really wanna be with me? I understand if you don’t want to. I’ll accept it if you’d rather find your own way, but I need to know,” I tell her.
I know I’m practically begging her. I need to know that she’s all in with this. With us. Otherwise I’m fucking Fin over for no reason. I’m causing a rift that doesn’t even need to be there.
“I’m in Viking. I’ve been in. I’m sorry I’m causing so much trouble.”
“Shut up. Get your ass on that bike so that I can take you home. If I knew the clubhouse was botherin’ you so much we could have gone elsewhere. We didn’t have to stay there,” I inform her.
Carnie cocks her head to the side and takes in what I just said.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t live at the clubhouse Carnie. I just thought you would be more comfortable there,” I chuckle as I jog down the stairs with her close behind me.
“What the hell?”
“What? I have a house Carn. I was only stayin’ at the clubhouse to be closer to you.”
Her mouth hangs open, but I can see the way the edges are curled up into a smile.
“You’ve been holding out on me.”
“Yeah. I guess I have. Oh, one more thing. You ever take off with Whitley again and smoke weed without me I’m gonna tie your ass to the bed and have a little more fun with that monthly box subscription than you might like,” I warn her.
Her face turns red as I hold the helmet out for her to take.
“I’m cancelling that.”
“Like fuck you are.”
“Viking,” she whines.
No way in hell is she cancelling that shit.
“You cancel it and I’ll drag your ass to the adult store and we’ll buy them there. In fact I think that ass plug is gonna come in real handy tonight.”
I wink at her. Carnie’s cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink which causes my cock to harden. I adjust it and wait for her to climb on the back of my bike. Once she throws her leg over I reach back and slide her forward.
“You better hold on. I’m about to give you one hell of a ride,” I warn her.
Her hands tighten around my waist and her nails dig into my skin. I fucking love feeling her behind me. Hell anywhere near me is pure fucking bliss.
I rev my bike up and pull out not bothering to look over to see what Mason is doing. He’s on his own with that group.
I head in the opposite direction of the clubhouse and sigh. This is a huge step for me. I’ve never brought anyone to my house before. No brothers, club whores, and damn sure not someone that I plan on keeping around. Everything begins to settle inside of me as I let that play out in my mind. Taking Carnie to my house is a huge step, but it’s also a huge risk to my sanity. It’s a huge part of keeping my past exactly where I want to keep it.
18
Carnie
I don’t know why I thought that Viking didn’t have anywhere to live outside of the clubhouse. The rest of the guys do. He pulls onto a small dirt road and I can see the house up ahead. It doesn’t look like something a man like Viking would live in. It almost looks like an old farm house.
Viking kills the engine before he climbs off. He offers me his hand which I take and climb off behind him. He takes his helmet off then reaches for mine. He sets them on the seat.
“This is it,” he says quietly.
I look up and see the mask of emotions that cross his face. It makes me wonder about everything I’m seeing, but even more so it makes my heart skip.
“You didn’t have to bring me here,” I tell him softly.
“There a lot of my past that I don’t tell anyone about. Some things are just better left unsaid. No one has ever been here Carnie. I don’t give this part of me to anyone.”
His words make my heart soar, but at the same time it hurts to hear him say that. I don’t want him making himself feel bad for having me here.
“Let’s just go back to the clubhouse,” I tell him as I tug on his hand trying to get him to move back to his bike.
Viking shakes his head and pulls back moving us toward the door. We walk up the steps in silence. I hear something growling.
“What the hell is that?” I ask panicked.
Viking chuckles, “It’s just Ruby. She won’t hurt you.”
I watch as he sticks his key in the lock and opens the door. A giant dog comes bounding out and crashes into our legs. Viking helps to hold me steady.
“Ruby go do your business,” he yells at the dog.
She takes that as her cue. I watch her run into the yard and go handle her bathroom issues when I feel Viking pull on my arm.
“Come on.”
I hesitantly follow him inside and try to take in everything as I go. The house looks like it belongs to an older couple rather than a ruthless biker. Viking keeps walking us through the living room and into the kitchen before he lets my arm go.
“Are you hungry?” he asks as he glances over his shoulder at me.
“No. I’m fine.”
I’m tense. I don’t know what all of this means or what any of it’s about. I’m on edge and just being here is making it worse. Viking places his hands on the edge of the sink, leans forward, and hangs his head between his shoulders. It physically hurts me to see him like this. He’s so out of his element and comfort zone. I walk over to him and slide my hands up his back. He doesn’t even turn to face me.
“We can go. Whatever this is know that I appreciate the gesture, but we don’t need to stay here Viking.”
I can feel the tension in his back. His muscles are corded tightly.
“This is my home. This is where my parents lived,” he says softly.
When he finally pulls away from the counter he turns to face me. Sadness is painting his normally hardened features.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper.
He nods, takes my hand, and leads me toward a screened in po
rch. Once we’re outside I can see Ruby running around the yard playing with a ball. It’s funny to see her and know that she belongs to Viking. He doesn’t come off as the animal type of guy. Viking motions for me to sit on the little porch swing where he follows me down.
“My dad built this house himself. It took him years. I remember when I was a kid I’d sit and watch him for hours. Mom would be inside making dinner. It was the perfect family,” he says while looking out at the distance. I don’t speak I just wait on him to finish. “They were older when they adopted me. Best parents I’d ever had. When I got older I got rebellious. I wanted to know who my family was. I needed to know. I didn’t give a shit if it pissed mom and dad off or not. They gave me the information I wanted.”
“Did you meet them?” I ask and he turns his gaze to me.
“Yeah I met my birth mom. Real fuckin’ piece of work that bitch was. She was a drunk. She probably isn’t even alive anymore. She had liver failure when I met her. I look a lot like her. I got her eyes. I felt so fuckin’ bad after that. I went against my parents at first. I thought that maybe my birth parents had it better than me. Here I was a lonely ass kid livin’ with older parents, just sittin’ around watchin’ black and white shows on tv while other kids were out there havin’ fun. I hated it. I hated them for it. It always pissed me off that I was stuck in here. In this goddamn house all the time,” he says with a hint of regret in his tone.
His eyes look so far away, but I know there’s more to the story. I can feel it in the air between us.
“What happened to them?” I ask.
“Mom died of a heart attack. Dad died a few years later. After I met up with the club I didn’t spend a lot of time around here. That’s why it still looks the same. I couldn’t bring myself to change it, and fuck the memories up I have here. I was a selfish fuck. I don’t deserve any of this and I sure as hell don’t deserve you.”
The last works strike like a match.
“You deserve more than you think. You deserve everything. They loved you Viking.”
“Randal.”
