by Mia Malone
“Yeah. Wasn’t sure if that pizza would end up in my mouth or in my face. Figured it’d be safer to leave the heavy artillery outside.”
I tried to stifle my laughter, but he heard it. Then he pulled out a tube of Neosporin from his back pocket and handed it to me.
“Put some of that on your arm, then we’ll eat.”
The man had yelled at me for using his grill, but he brought dinner, beer, and Neosporin.
So, I put some cream on the minor burn on my arm, and then we ate pizza and watched a movie.
“Black,” I said quietly when the couple in the movie had killed a lot of aliens and saved the world.
“Yeah, babe?”
“What happened with Leeanne?”
He turned slowly and looked at me.
“Leeanne,” he echoed as if he didn’t know who the mother of his three sons was.
“Yes,” I said and waited.
Then I squealed because he’d pulled me into his arms, flung himself backward and settled us into the couch.
“Right,” he said. “Leeanne. Off and on girlfriend for almost a year. We fought, broke up, got back together and fought some more. She was...” he paused and grinned wryly, “Endowed.”
“Endowed,” I echoed.
“Babe. She had big tits.”
“Yes, Einar. I got that. Didn’t get what that had to do with anything.”
“It was the only thing we had in common.”
“Huh?”
“I was twenty-one when we met and horny like you wouldn’t believe it...”
I wasn’t sure if I should interject that I did, in fact, not have any problems whatsoever believing it, but decided to wait for him to continue.
“Sex was good between us, and I liked her...” he made a gesture with his free hand in front of his chest, “So, yeah. We never talked. Never really did anything together, for real. Except drink and fuck.”
“Oh,” I mumbled. “That’s kind of sad.”
Then he went on to tell me in very few words how his oldest son had been conceived by mistake, how he’d wanted more kids, so they created two more boys, ending it by stating that they’d split up.
“It wasn’t a fantastic marriage, but it wasn’t too bad,” he said with a shrug.
It wasn’t too bad?
“Einar...”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I know. There’s more. I played the guitar, just for the fun of it. Loved that shit and we started getting gigs. A couple of talent scouts approached us. Approached me. And I dreamed about... Yeah. But then she was pregnant, and – you know about Sissy? Her stalker and how he destroyed her leg?”
“Yes. She told me.”
“That came crashing down on us just a couple weeks after Leeanne told me about Lex. Dad would have killed the damned maniac who bashed my sister’s leg in with a steel pipe, but the maniac’s father got involved and threatened to destroy the club and everyone in it if something happened to his son. Sissy freaked out completely. She was hysterical, making herself sick with it, so Dad backed off. It ate at him for years. I’d planned to take the fucker out myself, but then he got himself killed.”
“Oh, honey,” I whispered.
I’d known most of that, but it hurt hearing the pain in his voice when he told me.
“So yeah. I had no choice. Not really. I married Leeanne, raised my boys and... I guess life just went on. I spent a lot of time on my bike, which I love. We should have split up sooner, but yeah. We didn’t.”
“Why did you stay?”
“The boys.” The answer was immediate and firm. “Leeanne had no training to work with anything. If threw her out, I’d still have to support her. Double households and she does not have a good way with money. And she has pretty expensive habits. I wanted the boys to go to college, and if I had to pay for her, it would come straight from what I could put away to make that happen. So, she stayed, and I planned for what would come next.” He squeezed me, and I tilted my head to look up at him. “Didn’t expect you.”
“I know.”
I hadn’t expected him either.
“Leeanne doesn’t have a good way with money,” he repeated quietly. “She stole money from the garage, Cas. From... wherever she could, I guess. It was just petty shit, though. A hundred, a few twenties... whatever, and I learned to keep my cash locked up. And she lied. Fuck how she lied about fucking everything. She did other men, and I didn’t care. We stopped having sex when Dag was born. She slept with a guy from a visiting club, and I couldn’t even look at her anymore. There were others. I gave up after a while and did other women too, and I shouldn’t have but I don’t think she cared about it either. And she lied about the men, and the money, and about stupid fucking things. Jesus. I asked if she’d done the laundry, and she’d smile and say that she had, and I still found the dirty clothes all over the place. Said Ronnie had badmouthed her. Made up stories about how supermarket was all out of milk, or how the power had been shut off so she couldn’t vacuum. That Mom had yelled at her for no reason at all. Christ.”
“Did you believe her?”
“Nope. It pissed me off to no end that she was such a liar, but she was also a fucking bad one. I always knew.”
I slid my hand over his chest gently, and he put a steady hand on top of mine.
“Ten years ago... a little more, I guess. She came home and told me that Eirik had put a dent in my car. It wasn’t a big deal. I run a fucking garage, and the truck was old and pretty beat up. The thing is, I asked Eirik what had happened, and he said it wasn’t him.”
“She did it,” I concluded.
“Yeah. We had a roaring fight about it, and I told her we were done. Her ass was out, and I never wanted to see her again.” He sighed, and his face hardened. “She could lie about stupid shit, and it pissed me off, but I mostly didn’t care. But she’d stepped over a line with that one.”
“She lied about your son.”
“Knew you’d get it,” he murmured. “I saw you fight like a wildcat for your girl. Saw you on that outlook, glaring at Bodean... daring him to even try to breathe close to your girl. And I knew.”
“Baby,” I murmured, and tightened my grip around him “How did your sons take it when you split up?”
“They were in their early twenties, don’t think it bothered them much. Eirik was pissed at his mom for lying, and they’re a tight bunch, so the other two were pretty unhappy with her too. Lex and Eirik were in college by then anyway, and Dag moved away a few months later. Not for college, though, he took his sweet time making his mind up, but he got there. We didn’t technically divorce until a few years ago and they were pretty pissed about that, though.”
“You stayed married.”
“Technically, yeah. It didn’t really matter, and I paid her bills anyway so... I don’t know. We started shouting at each other every time we met so it was easier to just stay away from her.”
“But you’re divorced now?”
“Fuck, yeah. Should have gotten that shit sorted out sooner, but we got stuck, I guess. Then out of the blue, Lex punched me in the face and told me he’d never fucking talk to me again if I didn’t get it done.”
“Your son punched you –”
“Babe. Punched him right back. Twice. Then I got a lawyer and we waded through the paperwork. Told her I was done paying for her and she whined like you wouldn’t believe it but ended up getting herself a job selling makeup and shit down in Spokane.”
“Okay.”
I wasn’t sure what to think about his callous way of talking about his marriage vows, or how sad it was to hear him explain that he’d been stuck, but I was suddenly curious about his boys.
“They’re good men, my sons,” he said quietly, as if he’d read my mind.
“Do I get to meet them?” I asked.
“Sure. Lex has been working in Norway for a year, but he’s on his way back in a few weeks. They’ve all been there for the summer, spending time with the family over there before Lex packs up and leaves.
Eirik and Dag are back in Seattle again already. They’ll be here when they can.”
“I’m sorry she was such a bitch. I don’t want to meet her.”
“You might,” he shared. “Word is getting out about you, so she’ll roll in to take a look.”
“Yikes,” I said, lacking anything more eloquent to say.
“So, yeah. That’s the story about Leeanne.”
“Okay.”
“Perhaps you’d like to console me?”
His voice had changed, and I tilted my head back to look into eyes that were suddenly soft and full of laughter.
“Console you,” I echoed.
“Couch-sex would probably do the trick.”
I burst out laughing, and while I did, he turned to his side, pulled my leg up over his hip and put a hand in my panties.
Then we had couch-sex, and yeah. It did the trick.
Chapter Thirteen
Gone
Black
“It’s kind of funny to watch,” Ice said and planted his ass in one of the deck chairs Cas had purchased and put on his front porch.
Black leaned back in his own chair and sighed, knowing that his brother would try to be funny again. And he’d have to try not to laugh at the damned jokes because they would be at his expense, but Ice was usually spot on.
This time, it would probably be something about the damned deck chairs, which he and Cas had disagreed loudly about. He’d been pretty clear about his view which was that it was his front porch so he should pay for the damned chairs. She’d just smirked and told him no. He’d yelled some, and she’d put a hand on his cheek which stopped the yelling pretty much immediately. Then they’d agreed that he could pay for the chairs and she would pay for the cushions she wanted to put in them.
The fucking cushions turned out to be more expensive than the chairs, and she’d laughed at the look on his face when he found out. Then she failed to keep another smirk out of her voice when she reminded him of their agreement, and it had all ended up with a round of make-up sex, although she insisted that it couldn’t be make-up sex since there hadn’t been an actual fight.
“What?” Black muttered.
“You’re led around by your dick,” Ice snorted and rapped his knuckles against the armrest of his chair a couple of times, raising his brows and smiling teasingly. “You are so pussy whipped, brother.”
Yup. There it was. Trying to be funny.
His brother also didn’t get it.
“Ice,” Black said patiently. “You think the joke’s on me, but you have no fucking clue.”
“What?”
“One day, she’ll be there.”
“I repeat; What?”
“You’ll turn around, and there she is. It hits you straight in the gut, like a goddamned ball of fire, and you’ll know that this is it. She can cut you wide open, lead you around by your dick, and you’ll let her because she’s the one.” Black took a deep swig of beer and shrugged. “And then, one morning, when she’s the first thing you see... her warm, soft body is the first thing you feel, even before you’re completely awake. You slide right in, and she opens her eyes. Gives you that smile. Says your name in a way that settles in your soul. Then you know you’re home. That you’re fifty-fucking-closer to sixty, and it ain’t over. Not yet.”
“Einar...”
“I have many good years to go, and so do you,” Black said with another shrug. “With parents like ours, we watched it our whole lives. It was right there in front of our eyes, and we didn’t get it, did we? Well I’m getting it now, and brother, I want that for you too, so put a break on doing whatever woman who moves and take a look around.”
“Jesus.”
“Just sayin’. So, whatever... you can yap about Cas as much as you like, but you’re not getting a rise out of me. I’m just gonna sit here and figure out how I’ll manage without her for eighty-four hours.”
“Eighty-four?”
Shit.
“Or something.”
“You counted the hours.”
Black snorted because of course his goddamned twin would figure it out.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “It probably makes me a pussy-whipped moron, but I did.”
The surprise in Ice’s pale blue eyes was slowly replaced by humor.
“You’ll survive.”
“Yeah.”
“Phone-sex.”
Black raised his brows and muttered, “Well, duh.”
***
“I’m so glad I met you, Einar.”
The words Cassandra had murmured over the phone that morning played in his head, and he felt his mouth move with a smile. He missed her. Yeah, they’d had phone sex, and he’d loved hearing her stifle the sounds as if anyone in that hotel would have cared. It didn’t beat the real thing.
It also wasn’t just about that.
Eating alone was boring. Watching movies was boring like it had been before he had her head on his lap and heard her giggle at stupid jokes. He hadn’t touched his guitar since she left, and his bed was a fucking wasteland.
He hadn’t realized just how Cas had slid into his life and filled a spot he hadn’t known was empty. She’d been gone a couple of goddamned days, and there had been so many times he’d had to stop himself from walking off to find her because he wanted to tell her something or ask something.
He knew he loved her.
He just hadn’t realized how much he needed her to be a part of his life.
They had made love the morning she left, and she’d laughed when he caressed her out of sleep with a mumbled, “One for the road, baby,” in her ear.
It had been slow, and tender, and the way she looked up at him while he slowly slid in and out cut right through him.
So, he knew he loved her.
He hadn’t said the words because they were together and they would stay together, but it was too soon. What if she wasn’t ready for it? What if he wasn’t ready for it?
Cas would get her house back in a few weeks, and he knew the guys renting it had asked if they could stay longer, but they hadn’t discussed the future, so he didn’t know what she’d decided.
He’d ask her when she got back, which was in a couple of hours, not that he counted.
Much.
She would stay in Rogan, he decided. He could find something to do in Colorado Springs, but she’d be closer to Desi if she were in Rogan, his family was there, and she fit right in with the club in a way he hadn’t expected. She held her own with the men when she needed to, stayed out of club business, and had become good friends with the women.
And then she’d shocked the shit out of people by hiring Janie.
He heard about it from Ronnie, who shook her head and sighed, sharing that it was kind of her, but it would last for less than a week.
Cas had gone to talk to Marisha and had come back to the Lodge accompanied by Marisha’s mother. Janie’s life hadn’t been easy, and she’d looked worn out since her no-good husband left them, and Black agreed with Ronnie. It would last for a few days.
They’d been wrong about that, though. Janie had worked at the Lodge for several weeks now and it looked like it would last. And word had spread that Marisha was going back to finish her last year in High School.
Cas got a lot of credit for that, which she’d shrugged off and just said that Janie was a good woman and the rooms were cleaner than they’d ever been.
“Counting the minutes?”
Black jolted out of his thoughts and looked at his grinning father.
“Huh,” he grunted because lying to his dad was never a good thing, but he also didn’t want to admit that he was sitting on his damned porch like a puppy, waiting for Cas to come home.
“Of course, he is,” Ice said calmly, and sat down. “Just like you do when Mom’s away.”
“Huh,” Roddy muttered, and Black felt his lips twitch.
His brother was frequently a damned nuisance, but they had each other’s backs.
“Got a thing to say,
” Roddy said and leaned on the porch rail.
“Okay.”
“I’m not dead yet, but I’m getting older,” Roddy said. “You need to get ready to take my place.”
It took Black a few stunned seconds to realize his father was talking about the club, and that the old man was talking to him.
“But –”
He cut himself off and turned to Ice.
“Don’t look at me,” Ice said immediately. “I don’t want it.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to grow up,” Roddy cut in, and Black realized again that he was the one who apparently had taken his time to grow up.
Which was fucking ridiculous when he was a father of three sons who were twenty-eight, thirty and thirty-two.
“I’ll think about it,” he heard himself say, and added, “Might not be here.”
“You’ll follow Cas if she goes back to Colorado.”
“In a heartbeat.”
Roddy nodded slowly but his face had softened, and a smile was playing at his lips.
“You took your time, boy. Finally, there’s something that matters more to you than anything else. More than this place. More than us. More than the club.”
“Yeah,” Black agreed.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hold the gavel and had never given it much thought. He also liked Rogan and would prefer to stay, but he’d go with Cas to Colorado if that’s what she wanted.
“Waited a long time for this, Einar,” Roddy said quietly. “Think about it and let me know.”
Black was nodding when his phone buzzed, and a grin spread on his face as he raised it.
“Hey there, Desi,” he said. “You had a good time with your Mom, I heard.”
There was a brief pause, and then her voice made him stand up and turn to look out over the mountains. It was small and sounded hesitant.
I sounded like that day a year earlier when they arrived in Rogan.
“Mom doesn’t answer her phone. Do you know where she is?” She took a breath and added, “We turned off location services, after... So stupid. We didn’t want anyone to... you know? I’ve called ten times already, and she doesn’t answer.”
Black closed his eyes and forced himself to sound calm and relaxed.
