by Kennedy Fox
Lennon: HA!
Maddie: Liam and Mason owe me $100 now. #BOOM!
Sophie: Ooh me too! $100 richer!
Lennon: You two bet on if we’d hook up?
I roll my eyes, but I’m not even surprised with them.
Sophie: No, we bet WHEN. They totally lost.
Maddie: I’m gonna make them pay up so hard!
Lennon: Okay, well you four have fun in your weird non-relationship relationships. I’m going to finish cooking breakfast so I have lots of energy for later…
Maddie: EW
Sophie: Double ew
Sophie: But we still love you!!
Maddie: Yes! And so, so happy for you guys!
Lennon: Love you too! Chat soon! MWAH
I hear Hunter shout my name over the water streaming, and when I walk inside, I’m slightly blinded by the sight.
Well, fuck me. Again.
“Did you call me?”
“Yeah, sorry. I ran out of body wash and have an extra bottle on my dresser. Would you mind grabbing it for me?” he asks.
“Sure, one second.” I tilt my head to the side, trying to sneak a look.
“You can join me, if you want…” Hunter taunts with a lazy grin. “Sing to me in the shower while I fuck you from behind.”
“Oh my God, you’re insatiable.”
His laughter echoes as I find the willpower to move my feet and walk into his room. I know the brand he uses, but I don’t see anything on his dresser. Hunter isn’t exactly organized, so I decide to check his drawers. Nothing. Hmm. I check his desk and closet next. Then I remembered his nightstand is basically a kitchen’s version of a junk drawer and look there. I dig around, moving random things around, and when I see a black velvet box, my entire body freezes.
I know it’s not from the ring he bought me since I have it in my room, but why the hell would he have this? Was he going to propose to someone before everything happened? Jenna?
Ugh, the thought makes me sick.
I shouldn’t look, but my curiosity gets the best of me, and before I can talk myself out of it, I flip it open and see an engagement ring.
A princess cut diamond on a white gold band.
It’s stunning.
I start breathing harder, my heart races, and when I pick up the ring, I immediately see an engraving on the inside.
03/18 the day I started dating my soul mate.
And then my heart stops beating.
The words inside the ring nearly make me choke on my emotions. We always talked about our future together and getting married, so when did he plan to propose?
Better yet, why does Hunter have it?
Kneeling on the floor, I stare at it, memories of us flooding in, and all the what-ifs burning in my mind. He died before he could ask me, before I could give him an answer, before we could ever start our forever together.
How could Hunter not tell me? I feel so fucking betrayed.
“Lennon?” I hear him shout from the shower.
Standing, I place the ring back in the box, slowly shut his nightstand, then walk back to the bathroom. He smiles as soon as he sees me, but it quickly falls from his face.
“What is it? Were you able to find it?”
“How could you keep this from me?” I ask, my voice brittle. Tears form in my eyes at how this changes things. I hold out my hand to show him the velvet box as my face hardens.
Hunter blinks, then looks at it, and as soon as the realization hits, he shuts off the water. “Lennon.” He says my name so softly, almost as if it pains him.
I turn and walk to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. It doesn’t do a damn thing because Hunter immediately barges in.
“Lennon, wait. I know you’re upset…”
“Upset?” I turn and face him, my voice going up an octave. He’s drenched with a towel wrapped haphazardly around his waist, water droplets falling from his chest. I snap my eyes back to his. “How could you not tell me Brandon was planning to propose? How could you keep this ring and not tell me after everything we’ve been through?” I don’t realize tears are falling until I taste salt. I hate that I get emotional so quickly and wipe them away as fast as I can.
“Lennon, please. Let me explain…” He steps toward me, but I step back.
“Hunter, don’t. I should’ve known this was too good to be true. No wonder you suggested we pretend to be married.” I’m letting my anger speak, unable to control my emotions as they spill over.
“Don’t say that,” he barks. “I have been here for you through everything so don’t you dare use that against me.” Hunter closes the gap between us, and this time, I let him. “I did that for you and Allie.”
I swallow, nodding because I know he’s being sincere. “You told me to trust you,” I whisper-sob. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
Hunter closes his eyes, and he shrugs his shoulders. “I honestly don’t know. How do you tell someone that kind of news? Risk your emotional stress during the worst time of your life, or tell you when you’re happy and watch you spiral back to those dark days? I was put between a rock and a hard place.”
“Still, I had a right to know,” I bite out, my chest rising and falling as quickly as my heart races.
“You have to believe me, Lennon…” He takes my hands in his, looking so defeated as he speaks. “The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. There were so many times I thought of telling you, but I didn’t know what it’d do —if it’d set you back or if you’d be mad I said anything at all. I never thought this would be the situation when Brandon told me he was going to propose, and when I found the ring, you definitely weren’t in the mindset to see it.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But that wasn’t your choice to make,” I tell him softly. “My boyfriend died never being able to ask me. He died before I knew he was going to ask me to marry him. And you knew...this whole time!” Tears fall, and when Hunter nods and squeezes his eyes shut, I know it’s because he’s in tears too.
“Lennon, I’m so, so sorry,” he whispers, bringing a hand to my cheek. “This is not how I wanted you to find out or for things to happen between us. I love you, and bringing you more pain is the last thing I ever wanted.”
My bottom lip trembles. This man has changed my life in the best way possible. He stepped aside when I was with his best friend, and when Brandon died, he became my anchor. He’s always had my best interest in mind. Always. I can’t imagine how keeping a secret like this has affected him. I try to put myself in his shoes, and the rational part of my brain knows either option would’ve been a shitty one. Had I known Brandon was going to propose while grieving his death, I would’ve crumpled even more. If he told me during the pregnancy, it might have actually destroyed my heart. My hormones wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Soon after, shit went down with my parents, we made it through the first holidays without Brandon, and then Alison debuted. He’s right. There really wasn’t a safe time to tell me.
I want to hold and console him for being forced to keep this secret, knowing it put him in a bad situation. But I believe him and know it wasn’t held from me out of spite. He was keeping me safe from the pain it would’ve caused, and I understand that, as much as it hurts now.
“Please say something, sweetheart.” Hunter drops to his knees, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me. “I can’t lose you, Lennon. I love you and Allie more than my own life, and I’ll never forgive myself if I can’t fix this.”
“That’s how you knew what diamond cut I’d want,” I say softly. “When you bought that one at the airport.”
He nods against my stomach, and my heart lodges into my throat, unable to swallow down my pain. Hunter tilts his head back and gazes into my eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he states confidently. “I know you’re upset with me, and rightfully so, but I’m here, fighting for you, for us. So if it’s space you need, I’ll give it to you if you ask, but know that I’m not giving up.”
My heart pounds so har
d in my chest as I think about his words. The love Hunter has for me is so overwhelming and special, and the last thing I want is for this to screw things up. I love him, and knowing he kept this from me hurts, but it’s not a deal breaker for me.
Nodding, I bring a hand to his face. “You were protecting me.”
“Yes,” he states. “I felt very protective of you right after he died and have only always wanted to be there for you. Once I found it, I didn’t know what to do…” He closes his eyes for a moment. “But I should’ve told you myself instead of risking you’d find it.”
I nod. “If anything, I’d like to give it to Alison one day. I think she deserves to have the ring her daddy picked out.”
“Absolutely. It’s yours. I never wanted to keep it from you two, but—”
“I know,” I cut him off. “You were put in the worst possible position.” I lean down and brush my lips against his. “I believe you.”
Hunter releases a long sigh. “Thank God.” I pull his hand, and he stands. “I love you so much, Lennon. You and Allie. You’re both my whole world.”
With tears in my eyes and a smile on my face, I nod, feeling the truth of his words right down to my soul. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Hunter
It’s been a month since Lennon found the engagement ring that Brandon bought for her. We’ve been working through it together and trying to move past what happened. Though she’s forgiven me, I regret not telling her sooner. I never wanted her to find out the way she did, but there was never a good time to mention it. Now I realize that ring just opened a tender wound, and maybe I should’ve told her before we went to Utah.
When Lennon was happy, I didn’t want to ruin that for her because it was so fleeting in the beginning. When she was sad, I couldn’t be the one to add more grief. All I’ve ever asked for is her trust, and I broke that, something I’m trying everyday to make up for. She’s told me several times that she understands why I did it, and I believe her, but it doesn’t erase the fact I hurt her. I only have her best interest in mind, but in that instance, my need to protect her ended up hurting her. I’ll never make that mistake again.
Before I head home, I text Lennon and let her know I’m stopping by the gym to blow off my aggravation from my work day. It’s barely past three, and I feel like I’ve worked two full shifts.
She texts me back with a thumbs-up emoji, which means she’s probably occupied with her students. Now that her maternity leave is over, she’s constantly on the go between taking Allie to Mrs. Locke’s before work and picking her up after. I know she’s exhausted from getting up with the baby and trying to stay on top of everything. I help out as much as I possibly can, offering to pick Allie up if I can get out of the office early or even doing a middle of the night diaper change. I don’t know how she does it some days, but one thing’s for sure, she’s superwoman.
As I drive across down, I can’t stop thinking about my day and how some people don’t listen, no matter how many times I repeat myself. Months from now, when the project is a complete mess because they’re trying to cut corners, I’m going to be the peon to help clean it up, which pisses me off. I tried to explain to the project manager why it’s important to reinforce the structures with steel. Yes, it’s more expensive, but it’ll last longer. After I was shut down for the umpteenth time, I decided to sit in the back of the meeting and bite my tongue. I’m surprised I still have one in my mouth at this point.
After I run my ass off and lift the heaviest weights I possibly can, I get in the truck and go home. I feel better. I’m exhausted but not as tense as I was before. Allie still wakes in the middle of the night, but she’s sleeping in longer stretches. We moved her to my room and transformed it into a nursery. The space is perfect, and the walls are so thin, we can still hear her little cries in the middle of the night, though Lennon is determined to keep the baby monitor by the bed. Our apartment has quickly transformed into a home for our little family, and as I park the truck, I smile when I think about it. Before I walk inside, I grab the mail and head up the stairs. Noticing I have a pink slip in my box, I go down to the office and pick up whatever the front desk signed for. The woman hands me a manila envelope, and it looks serious as fuck. I tear it open, and when I walk into the apartment and pull out the paper, I feel my balls in my throat.
Allie is in her bouncer, and I steal a quick kiss from her and blow a few raspberries on her belly. She rewards me with little baby giggles that make me forget about the letter in my hand for a few seconds. Lennon rounds the corner, looking as pretty as ever, but notices my tension. “What’s wrong?”
I read over it a few more times to make sure I’m not imagining what it says, then hand it to her.
Her eyes scan over it, then they widen. “She’s summoning you for a paternity test? Seriously? After all this time?” Her nostrils flare, and I can see the aggravation written all over her face, which I kinda enjoy only because I know she cares.
You’d think after the hospital tour months ago when Lennon spilled the beans about how I couldn’t possibly be the father, Jenna would stay away. She did for a while until she had the baby and realized after I blocked her number she’d have to find new ways to contact me. The crazy woman resorted to emailing me pictures of the baby to my work email. There’s no way to block her there, so I’ve resorted to just deleting anything with her name on it.
“Maybe she found out Craig wasn’t the father after all, and she’s backtracking? It’s fucking ridiculous either way,” I say, tempted to wad up the paper and throw it in the trash.
“You have to go,” Lennon tells me. “She’s desperate, and you’ll need to prove to her that you’re not the father. Maybe a paternity test will finally make her leave us alone.”
I let out a heavy sigh, happy that I went to the gym because I might’ve lost it otherwise.
“You’re right. I don’t have any other choice.” I pull Lennon close and hold her against my chest, taking in the sweet smell of her hair and skin.
She bites down on her bottom lip, and when I furrow my brows at her, she adds, “There’s not a chance it’s yours, right?” She looks up into my eyes, and I see worry written on her face. She’s seen the test results, but still, there’s always that small percentage. “I mean, if you think Craig isn’t the father?”
“She was probably sleeping with more guys than she admitted and has a list of men she’s summoning.” I press my lips against hers and smile. “And if I could have kids, I’d be knocking you up so quick, you’d want to cut off my dick.”
“You’re so romantic.” She snorts and rolls her eyes.
“Listen, don’t worry about this. I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure her.
She nods and holds me close. “I know.”
I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at it. It’s barely past four. “They close at six. I’m going to go right now and get this shit over with.”
“Do you want me to come with you? Maybe give you some positive reinforcement on the way over?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and it causes me to snort.
“I’ve got enough of you in my head to last me a lifetime, Lennon. They’re going to swab my cheek and send me on my merry way. Shouldn’t take too long.”
Her lips gently slide across mine, and it takes everything I have to pull away. Lennon tends to make all the bad in the world disappear.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” I steal another small kiss from her then Allie before heading to the door.
Lennon nods and smiles. “I’ll be waiting for you...” She winks, then slowly licks her bottom lip.
“Damn. You’re a cocktease who plays dirty as hell.” I leave and rush across the parking lot to my truck, hoping there’s no traffic on the way to the testing center. Though I have no reason to worry or stress, I’m nervous as hell about this. I know the baby isn’t mine, but what if by some crazy circumstance, he is? We used protection every single time, but what if it defied all odds? There’s n
o fucking way. I push the thoughts out of my head when I park and walk inside.
Once I’m at the front counter, I slide my official summons document under the paned glass. While I wait for them to call my name, I find my courage and go back to the front.
“Do you do sperm count tests here as well?” I ask, hoping no one in the lobby heard me. Though I’ve accepted my fate, I’m still curious if anything’s changed since the last time I had it checked.
“We do,” she says and then explains how it works, though I already know. She hands me a cup, and after the first test is done, they send me to another room to take care of business. After I give my sample, the nurse explains the timelines.
“Both test results will be in within two days. We’ll send them certified mail, or you can come back in the office and we can go over them with you.”
“Nah, mailing it is fine.” I sign a few more documents, and then I’m on my way home. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but I’ll be thrilled to fucking death to put this all to rest once and for all.
Two days pass and as promised, I get the letters in the mail. I had the front office at the apartment call me as soon as they were signed for. I left early because I’m anxious as fuck. After I park, I sit in my truck and try to get my mind right because no matter what happens, this won’t change the way I feel about Lennon. Realizing I’m being a complete pussy about this, I force myself out of the truck, go to the office, and grab the envelope, but I don’t open it. I can’t find the strength to do it, so I text Lennon. Though I know she’s in class and won’t see my text immediately, I still send it.
Hunter: I got the results. Should I wait for you?
