by M. Robinson
My mind immediately started reeling with everything he just said, mainly because it made so much fucking sense. Every last bit of it.
“Think about it. We’ll finish this later.” He stood, walking over to the door. “Need anythin’ before I go? More booze? Weed? Pussy?” He winked. “I’ll send someone up,” he yelled over his shoulder.
I chuckled.
Joseph walked back in a few minutes later. He stitched and patched me up, wrapping an elastic bandage around my torso when he was finished. Wanting to keep as much pressure as possible on the wound. I drowned my sorrows to the bottom of the bottle. Numbing myself to the point of not giving a flying fuck about anything.
My mind was finally silent for the first time since I could remember.
When he was done, he placed a bottle of pain pills on the nightstand and left. I downed three of them, with whiskey as a chaser. I don’t know how long I sat there, leaning my head against the headboard, fucked up to the point of exhaustion. Finally taking in the mess of my room. The bullet holes, the glass, the lampshades hanging sideways. It looked like a fucking hurricane tore through here.
Reflecting fucking life.
“You need to eat, or all that medication and liquor is going to tear up your already injured stomach, Creed,” Autumn announced, walking back in the room with a plate of food in her hands. Shutting the door behind her.
“I’m fine,” I replied, taking another swig. “It’s late. Thought you went home.”
“Like I could sleep.” She took the bottle out of my hands, placing it on the nightstand next to the pills. Setting the food near it and took a seat beside me.
“Tryin’ to kick me in the balls when I’m already fuckin’ down, babe?”
“It’s not your fault. You wouldn’t ever let anything happen to me. At least not on purpose.”
“Like I didn’t let somethin’ happen to Luke? Like that, Autumn?”
She frowned, knowing I was right.
I closed my eyes, wanting the darkness to take over. Between the shootout, Phoenix dying, putting Autumn’s life in jeopardy, taking a bullet for my father—the man who could be responsible for all this to begin with—it was just too fucking much. It finally all caught up to me, taking me fucking under. The pills and booze no longer numbed me enough. Not even nearly enough. My heart started to race again just thinking about it.
“Earlier when I walked out of your room. I was so pissed at you.”
I opened my eyes, locking gazes with her.
“I said some nasty things, you said some back. We were fighting. I walked past the bar to leave when all of a sudden I heard guns going off. Do you know what the first thing I thought was?” She shook her head like the mere memory hurt her.
I knew she would never be able to get rid of the images. It was now a part of her, just as much as I was.
“I thought… Creed is going to die and we’re fighting. I hid behind the bar, hearing your voice in the back of my head, telling me to take cover. To stay safe. As much as I wanted to run back into your room, into your arms,” she paused, letting her words sink in. “I stayed where I was. I did because of you. The more I sat there, the more I was sure you were dead. Making me want to die too. I don’t think I could go on living. I don’t know a life without you in it, Creed. You’re all I’ve ever known,” she honestly spoke, making me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already was.
Her eyes started to water, she struggled to keep her tears at bay. I hated that I was the reason she was going to fucking cry again.
Knowing it wasn’t in her character.
Breaking my heart in ways I didn’t think were possible anymore.
Maybe it was the booze or the pills, but before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed her waist, pulling her toward me. She came willingly, crawling onto my lap. Straddling my thighs. Looking deep into my fucked-up eyes.
“I’m sorry, Autumn. I’m so fuckin’ sorry for everythin’.”
“Shhh…” She placed her index finger over my lips. “We’ve both been through a lot tonight. Let’s be here for each other.”
“Babe... Ain’t gonna—”
“Please.” She leaned forward, gently pressing her lips against mine. “Let me in. Please…” she pleaded, reaching down to grab the hem of her dress, not giving me a chance to protest. She pulled the cotton fabric over her head, freeing her perky tits. As if she knew I wouldn’t be able to resist her if she was naked.
Vulnerable.
Exposed.
She was goddamn perfection.
Shaking out her red hair, she leaned in again. Kissing me softly, beckoning my lips to do the same while rocking her pussy on my cock simultaneously.
I roughly gripped her ass, groaning. No longer able to restrain myself, she felt too fucking good. The smell of her body engulfed me. Attacking my senses all at once.
My cock twitched, aching to be inside of her.
I kissed her back, pecking her lips softly at first. Teasing her with the tip of my tongue, running it all along the outline of her pouty mouth. The feel of her skin in that moment drove me over the edge, and all we were doing was fucking kissing. Our tongues moved in sync with one another, colliding, penetrating deep into my goddamn core. She started to sway her hips on my hard cock again, kissing me deeper, harder and more demanding than ever before.
I kissed her one last time, letting my lips linger for a few more seconds. Resting my forehead against hers, she was breathing profusely. Her eyes dark and dilated, luring me the fuck in. Her long, messy red hair draped all around her face, spreading out between us. I resisted the urge to tug it back just so I could kiss all along her neck, her collarbone, and all over her fucking breasts.
I slowly moved my rough, callused hands up her body. Feeling the softness of her silky white skin for the first time. Continuing my heated assault, causing her to squirm underneath my touch. Awaiting my next move.
Her breathing hitched when I cupped her tits, pushing them together, enjoying the feel of them in my grip. Her nipples were hard, begging to be sucked. Her round and perky breasts accentuated her slender waist and luscious fucking thighs.
“Please…” she begged, urging me to touch her in a way I never had before.
I grinned, sliding my hand into her panties, feeling her wetness on my fingers. Pulling them out almost immediately, I spread her juices along her mouth, just to get a taste of her sweet fucking pussy on her lips. Kneading her nipples with my other hand. She moaned loud, causing my cock to twitch from the sound of her. I plunged my tongue into her awaiting mouth, pulling her goddamn bottom lip between my teeth. Sucking off all her salty sweetness.
I slid my hand back in her panties, all along her pussy. Loving the feel of her heat against my fingers.
“So fuckin’ wet,” I growled into her mouth, manipulating her clit with the palm of my hand for a few minutes, watching her come apart.
I pushed my middle and ring fingers into her soaking wet cunt, aiming it directly toward her g-spot. I knew she wasn’t a virgin anymore. I wouldn’t have touched her if she still was. She lost it a while ago to a piece of shit that Mason and I put in the fucking hospital for taking advantage of her. The son of a bitch fed her alcohol one night, while I happened to be out of town, so she would spread her legs for him. Knowing he could get away with it since I wasn’t around.
“I’m gonna come, Creed,” she panted while I finger-fucked her sweet spot.
“Here, babe… Like it here…yeah?” I taunted, thrusting my finger harder and faster.
Her legs shook, her body trembled. She was close to losing control, shuddering, opening her legs wider, clawing her nails into my bare chest.
“Just like that… Fuck my fingers, ride them like you would my fuckin’ cock.”
Her pussy pulsated, squeezing my fingers so goddamn tight. Almost pushing them out. Come dripping down my hand.
She screamed out my fucking name.
There was no going back after this. I stepped on the line, now I wa
s going to cross over it completely. I let her ride out her orgasm on my hand.
Her eyes immediately opened when she heard the zipper of my jeans, I maneuvered with my free hand. Reaching over to my bedside table, I pulled out a condom. Ripping it open with my teeth. She swiftly removed her panties while I pulled out my cock. Stroking it a few times while rolling the condom down.
Her eyes widened. “God, Creed,” she breathed out when she took in my size.
I grinned, roughly gripping onto to her hips. Sliding her wet pussy all along my shaft, getting it nice and fucking wet for her to take me. Knowing I would hurt her if I didn’t.
“Want my cock, Autumn? Gonna let me in?”
“Yes…” she purred, breathless. Getting off on the back and forth motion of her clit, sliding against my cock.
Getting fucking wetter.
Dripping down my balls.
I eased her up by her hips, holding the base of my cock for her to sit on. Positioning myself at her opening, she gradually moved her way down. Teasing the head of my cock, before choking the fuck out of my shaft with her tight goddamn pussy. Spreading her wetness, inching her way along, a little more each time. Her mouth parted, her eyes shut tightly as she took me in completely.
“Ride me, babe,” I drawled out, claiming her lips. “Ride me fuckin’ hard.”
She slowly rocked her hips until she got used to the feeling of my cock deep inside of her. Placing her hands against the headboard for more leverage, swaying faster and harder. Causing her head to roll back, I took her nipple into my mouth, kneading the other one, unable to get enough of her. Another moan escaped deep down in her throat. All I could hear was desire, as I fondled her breasts and sucked on her nipples.
I moved one of my hands to her clit. Her breathing escalated as soon as she realized what I was about to do. She encouraged me, bucking her hips forward.
“Creed…”
“Yeah, babe. Just like that… Fuck me…” I growled from deep within my chest.
I could feel her pussy tighten, gripping my cock like a fucking vise. Vaguely feeling her shiver. Leaning in, she started kissing me more aggressively than before. I grabbed the back of her neck, wanting to bring her closer, needing her body to cover mine. Our lips moved on their own accord, no longer having control over our movements.
I kissed her jaw line, to her neck, and deliberately made my way back to her lips. Her delicate hands moved down my inked chest, wanting to feel my skin against her fingertips. Stopping at the edge of my bandage wrap, not wanting to hurt me.
“Fuck… you feel good,” I groaned, thrusting my hips upward. Roughly gripping onto her hips once again. Moving her harder, faster, for her pleasure and mine. Feeling her g-spot on my tip.
My fucking sweet spot.
My pace increased as I made her fuck me as hard as she could, unable to get enough. I couldn’t help it, I loved it fucking rough, and from the sounds escaping her, so did she. Both our mouths parted, breathless, riding the high, waiting to fall over the edge.
Pain fucking pounded through my abdomen from the impact, but I didn’t care. I plunged my tongue into her mouth when I felt her pussy throb, pulsating long and fucking tight. Muffling her screams.
Her quivering was my undoing.
She was my undoing.
A groan escaped from deep within my core as I came so fucking hard.
We lay there for I don’t know how long, both of us trying to catch our breaths. Until she shifted, lying next to me as I threw away the condom. Lazily tracing my tats. I pulled her into my embrace, kissing the top of her head.
“I love you,” she sleepily said, coming down from her high. Falling asleep.
Bringing me back to reality.
That I just fucked up.
By. Fucking. Her.
TWELVE
CREED
My eyes fluttered open taking in the bright morning sun. Wondering where the fuck I was for a second. My head was pounding and my torso was fucking aching. All the previous night events immediately came to mind as if I was reliving them all over again. Realizing it wasn’t a nightmare. Only adding to my splitting headache.
“Shit,” I breathed out, looking down at Autumn, who was lying with her head on my chest. Her arm wrapped around my waist, her leg draped over mine, holding me tight.
I sunk back into the mattress, staring up the ceiling. Shaking my head back and forth, mentally kicking my own ass for what I had done. “I needed to add more fucking problems to my already full-of-shit life like I needed a fucking bullet in my head.”
I had no one to blame but myself.
Autumn stirred, opening her eyes. Looking up at me adoringly with nothing but love in them. “Hey there,” she greeted, snuggling deeper into my chest. Kissing it a few times. “I’m going to go wash up. Be right back.” She kissed my chest one last time and rolled over, pulling the sheet with her. Reaching over to the chair, throwing on her dress and sandals. She got up, carefully walking through the fallen debris, making her way to my bathroom.
I sat up, groaning out in pain. Instantly grabbing two pain pills, taking them back dry. I pulled my drawer open, getting a pair of clean jeans and throwing them on. Shoving my bare feet in my boots. There was still glass everywhere. Pops was already on the phone last night, figuring out how long it would take to get this place fixed and cleaned up. I guess he said it wouldn’t take too long, money could always buy you anything and everything.
Autumn walked back out, bright-eyed and fucking bushy-tailed. Practically skipping over to me. “I’ll go see if I can find us some breakfast. Then I’ll help you change your dressings, baby.” She beamed, placing a kiss on my cheek.
I groaned in response, already fucking dreading what was to come. I took a piss, brushed my teeth, catching a glimpse of my sorry ass in the cracked mirror. Shards of glass shattered around the counter.
“You’re a piece of shit,” I gargled to my reflection, staring back at me. Spitting the toothpaste into the sink. Splashing some cold water on my face, I looked like death warmed over.
Autumn was sitting on the bed with a plate of fruit and some toast in front of her. “This was all I could find in the club kitchen. At least it’s something to get in you. Come sit down so I can change your dressing, it’s soaked in blood, Creed. You don’t want it to get an infection.”
“I’m fine.”
“Creed…”
“Autumn, I’m fuckin’ fine,” I grumbled, grabbing my cigarettes, lighting one up. Needing the nicotine to shake off the haze.
She sighed, defeated. “Jesus, even when you get laid, you’re still not a morning person. Good to know.”
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” she asked, throwing a strawberry in her mouth.
I walked over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. Not wanting to drag this out any longer.
“Listen, I fucked up. Last night, I was drunk, high, and just fuckin’ hurtin’. Feelin’ like shit that you were hurtin’ too. Shouldn’t have been here, Autumn. Coulda’ been hurt. Really hurt,” I hesitated, unable to say the words.
The thought of another life gone because of me was too much for me to bear. I took another drag of my cigarette, letting the smoke seep out through my nose. “Shouldn’t have seen what you did. Puttin’ your life in danger for me. Can’t happen anymore.” Glancing over at her, trying to be as kind as I could.
“I love you. It’s that simple for me. I don’t care.”
I grimaced, swallowing hard, finally stating, “Last night was a mistake.”
“What? Why? Was I not… I mean… was I not good?”
“Jesus Christ, babe. For fuck’s sake, you were amazin’,” I breathed out, leaning my elbows on my knees. Holding my pounding head. “But it ain’t about that.”
“I mean I know I’m not as experienced as you’re used to, but I can—”
I looked back up at her. “I love you, Autumn. You fuckin’ know that. But I ain’t in love with you. And you know that
, too.”
She abruptly stood, hovering above me with her hands on her hips. “You’re lying! You’re just scared! I don’t care. I just want to be with you! Why can’t you open your eyes and see us for what we are? We’re great together, and you know it. Last night only proved that to you, Creed. You’re just trying to push me away! We’re more than just best friends, and we always have been!”
“Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
Tears streamed down her face, driving a knife into my heart. I stood up, reaching over. “Stop wastin’ those on me,” I murmured, wiping away her sorrow. “Not fuckin’ worth them.”
She shoved my hand away. “Fuck you, Creed! After everything we’ve been through. You’re going to treat me like just another piece of ass,” she bellowed, stepping back away from me.
“If that were true, I would’ve told you to get the fuck out of my bed after I came. Wouldn’t have slept in my goddamn arms last night.”
She shook her head, disgusted. “Don’t worry. I’ll get the fuck out now.” She turned, but I grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Don’t touch me!” she snapped, shoving me away as hard as she could.
“Fuck!” I roared, hunching over. Wrapping my arm around my torso from the stinging pain.
She took one look at me, scoffing out, “Good, now we’re both hurting.” She turned again and left. Leaving me with the indisputable guilt of fucking her over.
I spent the rest of the day getting my room back in order, rejecting help from the countless whores that I knew Diesel kept sending up.
I wanted to be alone.
The next few days were much of the same thing. The brothers fixed what they could throughout the warehouse, while Pops kept calling in for some reinforcements. We were being extra cautious, identifying workers that were coming in and out. Spending all hours of the day and night, trying to get the compound back in working order. Pops didn’t want the shootout to bring down the club’s morale or the brotherhood in which we stood for. He wanted nothing to be jeopardized because some of our own were put to ground.
