He showered and laid on his bed naked, letting the air conditioner cool him down. This Christmas was the hottest he had experienced in memory.
His phone dinged with a message, and despite all his better judgement, a thrill of anticipation rocketed through him that it may be Tennessee.
He grabbed his phone from the bedside table, opened the message, but his stomach sunk to find it was from Mandy.
MANDY: I saw you on the local news tonight.
He scrubbed his palm over his face and groaned. The news cameras had dropped in yesterday evening to do a little filming to document the progress of the event. Seemed if you attach a soap actress to an event, it became prime-time news.
HAYDEN: And?
MANDY: Didn’t think a singles event was your kind of thing.
His hackles raised at that because it strummed on all those feelings of insecurity, of not being enough. Mandy had always had this way of patronising him when he did anything she found beneath her.
HAYDEN: Not really your concern anymore.
MANDY: It actually is. Because it hurts me to see you getting on with your life as though WE never existed.
He sighed—his hard heart softening a little. All in all, he was the one who had ended their relationship, and he wasn’t so unempathetic to understand that he had hurt her.
Tennessee had demonstrated that even after fourteen months apart, what her husband was doing still deeply affected her. He didn’t want to be responsible for hurting anyone like that. Even Mandy.
HAYDEN: I’m participating as a favour to a friend. No other reason. I understand you’re upset. And again, I’m sorry about that.
MANDY: I’ve been wrong about not letting you see Jilly.
He sat up quickly, his heart racing.
HAYDEN: You’ve changed your mind?
MANDY: I have. You can have her over Christmas if you like. I’ll make the drive to Mercy Island tomorrow and drop her off.
His heart swelled.
HAYDEN: That would be great. Thanks.
MANDY: I’ll text you when I get there.
HAYDEN: No worries. See you tomorrow.
MANDY: Good night, Hayden.
HAYDEN: Good night.
Smiling all the while, he turned out the lights and climbed under his sheet. Sleep came easily after that.
Chapter 11
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and her guests would be checking out, leaving behind a quiet house until Tennessee’s next guests arrived Boxing Day.
This morning, she had to stifle a gasp when she noticed Scott creeping out of his room with Felicity. Felicity had seemed the quiet, reserved accountant type. Though, she should know by now to never assume anyone’s bedroom habits. Except for Scott’s—he was up for anything.
“Good morning,” she said to them when they passed and quietly hoped he was considerate enough to be hygienically taking care of all the condoms he must be working through.
When she strode past the living room on her way to the kitchen, she spotted Hayden sitting in there, eyes glued to his smartphone.
She stopped and stood in the entryway. “Morning.”
He lifted his focus to her face. “Hi.”
“How’d you sleep?”
“Not too bad.”
“Good.” She kept on her way, determined to give him some space.
To have left him with the impression that they could be more than friends was so beyond wrong. Best to nip that in the bud early. The last thing she wanted was Hayden getting hurt.
She cared for Hayden deeply, but she wasn’t ready for more. Not even a casual relationship. Not even a one-night stand. Yet, to have witnessed that flicker of hurt in his eyes when she had told him as such yesterday had struck her heart with a blunt blow.
* * *
After a breakfast of summer fruits and Burcher muesli, the twelve singles headed out on their selected dates. Tennessee’s last date today was with Hayden, but she’d already had a stern conversation with herself to play it cool. Yes, she was meant to spend two hours at a dance class with him where they would be holding each other’s hands and her body would be super close to his, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t maintain some mental distance.
Her first date was rock climbing at an indoor stadium on the mainland, followed by wine tasting and lunch at the local vineyard. Both were heaps of fun and her dates were great company.
When she arrived back at Seaspray House mid-afternoon, she was still a little tipsy from all the wine. The alcohol had worked at dulling the voice in her head that ordinarily liked to promote fear. With those doubts blunted, slow creeping anticipation about spending the afternoon with Hayden had her belly pulling with desire.
She was a horrible person—no wonder the poor guy was confused. She, sure as hell, was beyond confused with her own feelings. Her heart and body were saying to charge headlong into his arms, but her head was keeping her at arms distance.
Her date went ahead inside to wait for the others to arrive home. She stayed outside a while longer, chatting to the bus driver, thanking him for his service these past four days.
A strange car pulled into the car park. She stepped off the bus at the same time the female driver climbed from the car. The woman walked to the backseat and collected a dog—a shiny Labrador.
Tennessee started towards her. Maybe she was a drop-in tourist, wanting a room for tonight. “Hi, I’m Tennessee. The owner. Can I help you?”
The woman smiled. She was gorgeous—dark black hair, feline green eyes, and a lean, athletic body. “I’m after…” then her gaze darted behind Tennessee’s head and her smile broadened, eyes brightened. “Speak of the devil.”
Tennessee looked behind her to find Hayden jogging down the front steps of Seaspray House, a huge smile growing on his face as he looked at the woman.
Tennessee’s stomach wobbled; her legs grew weak beneath her to see Hayden look like that at someone other than her.
He joined them, kissed the woman on the cheek. “Hi, Mandy. Thanks for making the drive.”
“My pleasure,” Mandy said.
All the air gushed from Tennessee’s lungs. So, this was Hayden’s ex.
Here.
In Mercy Island.
Hayden crouched and pulled the dog in for a cuddle. “Oh, Jilly, how are you, girl? I’ve missed you.”
The dog was ecstatic, wagging her tail like a maniac.
“Um…I’ll leave you to it,” Tennessee stuttered. She had to get out of there. She rushed inside, trying to take deep breaths.
Hayden hadn’t mentioned Mandy was coming to Mercy Island. He had obviously been expecting her. Perhaps she had changed her mind about letting Hayden see the dog? But wouldn’t that be something he would have told her about?
She leant her elbows against the reception desk and pinched the bridge of her nose, not fully understanding the sensations that were building. A hurtful, squeezing sensation all through her body and especially in her heart.
Footsteps sounded. She straightened up quickly, pulled her shoulders back.
“Oh, hey,” Hayden said. “Um…I know we’re meant to be going on a date together, but I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I give it a miss.”
She baulked. Blinked.
“I’ll make it back in time for the barbeque tonight.”
She blinked again, shook her head. “Sure. Of course. No big deal. I’ve got heaps I could be doing instead.”
“Okay, great. See you tonight.” And he jogged away.
She lowered her face into her hands and groaned. The thought of Hayden spending the afternoon with his gorgeous ex-girlfriend was too much.
Chapter 12
Hayden’s head was buzzing, his body light. To see his dog after so many months was the best Christmas present. He gripped Jilly’s leash and he and Mandy started towards the esplanade.
He smiled at Mandy. “Thanks for agreeing to drop Jilly off. It’s so great to see her again.”
“That’s fine.”
“
So, are you driving back to Brisbane today?”
She took a moment to answer. “I thought I’d spend the night here before making the trip. To ensure I’m refreshed.”
“Makes sense. It’s a long drive. So, where are you staying?”
She stopped walking, grinned. “With you, I presume.”
He wasn’t going to be home tonight, and he didn’t feel comfortable with her staying at his place without him there. “I’m in the middle of an event. I won’t be home.”
Her brow furrowed. “I thought you’d give up on that silly event once you knew I was arriving.”
He ignored her comment that the event was silly. “Why would you think I’d give up?”
“Well, because you said you were only there as a favour for a friend.”
“And that’s why I can’t drop everything. I’d let her down, and I’m not going to do that.”
“Her?”
“Yeah. Tennessee.”
Mandy’s eyes widened. “That soap actress?”
He nodded.
She rolled her head back and snorted. “I knew it had to be about a woman.” She laughed derisively. “Seriously, if you think you’ve got a chance with Tennessee Jones then you’re even more delusional than I thought.”
Her words were like a punch to his guts, not only because they ignited every other instance Mandy had belittled him, but because they also strummed on truth. Right from Tennessee’s mouth, she had admitted those same sentiments.
He swallowed down the shame that surged up from his guts.
“Come home. This has gone on for too long. I thought that driving all the way up here to Mercy Island, bringing the dog with me, would show you how serious I am about us reuniting. Don’t spend Christmas alone. We’re not perfect, but we’re good enough.”
No, their relationship hadn’t been perfect. He didn’t expect any relationship could be. But, for him, their relationship wasn’t even good enough. It was suffocating. Soul destroying.
“This isn’t some phase, Mandy. I wish you’d come to grips with that. I didn’t make the decision to end our relationship lightly. But it was a decision nonetheless, and I have no plans of taking it back.”
“Because of Tennessee?”
He shook his head. “No, Mandy, because of you.” The words came out louder, harsher than he had anticipated.
She took a step back, mouth falling open in shock. “How dare you?”
He winced. “I didn’t mean it like that. Deep in my heart, I know that you’ll have no trouble finding someone who you’re compatible with. But you and I are from two very different worlds.” As he said those words, his heart wrenched as he recalled Tennessee saying the exact same thing to him.
“Right, sure, and you think you and some stuck-up actress from Melbourne would be better suited?”
He lowered his gaze, neck flushing. He had once thought so, but Tennessee didn’t. “Is that what all this is about? Is this the only reason you came here?”
She shook her head. “Of course it isn’t. I wanted to talk you into giving us one more try. But if you’re hell-bent on ruining the best relationship you’ll ever have by chasing a woman who will never want you in return, then that’s your choice. Don’t come running back to me when you realise what you’ve lost.” She growled, then whispered under her breath, “I was always too good for you. I should have listened to my parents from the beginning.”
Heat and pressure blasted through his veins. “I’m done here.” He spun to stride away, but Mandy snatched the leash from him.
“Jilly’s my dog. You have no right to her at all.”
“What? No. Don’t be like that.”
“I’ll be heading back to Brisbane now after all. Have a nice life.” She turned on her heel and marched away, Jilly loping at her side.
His heart sunk. “Let me spend some time with Jilly. I’ll drive her home.”
She didn’t answer, instead, picked up her pace, her back to him.
“Damn it! Mandy,” he called out, but she kept on walking.
He bent over, hands on his knees and groaned. His gut was knotted. His chest hot and tight.
Let her go. It’s over. Let her go.
He charged away in the opposite direction, needing to clear his head. He should have known that this gesture to bring Jilly here had nothing to do with him or Jilly and everything to do with what Mandy wanted. That alone, summed up their entire relationship.
After a long walk, he wasn’t feeling any clearer nor in a better frame of mine, so he strode back to the bed and breakfast. Everyone was out on their dates. Clangs and bangs and light chatter sounded from the kitchen as the cooks prepared tonight’s meal.
He marched to his room, packed up his gear, lugged it out to his ute, then drove home. Out the front of his house, he typed a text to Tennessee.
HAYDEN: Sorry, Ten. I’m not feeling great. I won’t be able to attend the barbeque after all. I’ve grabbed my gear and left my room key at reception. Thanks for a great week. I’ll catch up with you later.
He then texted Bear asking he meet him for a surf. Hayden wasn’t the best at speaking what was on his mind or communicating emotions, but right now, he needed to talk before he exploded.
* * *
Bear tramped down the beach, board under his arm and sat next to Hayden beneath the shade of tall pines. The long branches and green needles filtered the steaming heat enough to make the sand bearable.
“You’re already finished the Twelve Dates of Christmas?” Bear asked.
“I had to get out of there.”
“What? Too many single women for you to handle?” Bear said with a laugh.
Hayden couldn’t smile. He was wound too tight. Mandy’s visit had left him on edge—the way she effortlessly reinforced what Tennessee had told him yesterday.
“I like her, Bear.” He didn’t need to explain who he was referring to.
Bear was nodding as though it were completely obvious. “And?”
“She made it clear I’m not good enough for her.”
Bear narrowed his gaze. His lips twisted with bewilderment. “That does not sound in any way like Tennessee.”
“You don’t know her well enough.”
“I know her plenty. She’s Hannah’s best friend. I worked at her bed and breakfast for a month straight before you showed up here. She stayed with us for three weeks after her separation. And I have never ever heard anything like that come out of her mouth.”
Hayden pressed a hand to his chest, tapping it. “I was there, mate. I was on the receiving end of the conversation. She said we existed in two different worlds. How the hell else do I interpret that?”
“I could interpret that a hundred different ways. And knowing Tennessee, I would not have jumped on your explanation.”
Hayden groaned, scrubbed his hands over his face. He wasn’t getting the reinforcement he was expecting from Bear. This thought jolted him, and he sat up taller. “Why don’t you have my back on this?”
“Because I think you’re wrong. I feel for you. I really do. But there has to be another explanation for what she said. Honestly, Hayden, what are you looking for here? For me to say that yes, she’s just like Mandy and believes you’re not good enough for her? Because I won’t. You forget that I hear the behind-the-scenes details. The secret stuff Tennessee tells Hannah and then Hannah tells me about.”
His eyes widened. “Like what?”
“That she really likes you. But she’s scared if she moves too fast, she’ll blow it and lose you for good.”
“She said that?”
He nodded.
“Man, I’m so confused.”
Bear shook his head, blew out a long breath. “Since when did you give up so quickly?”
Since he had convinced himself he wasn’t worth it.
“Do you want my opinion?” Bear asked looking him hard in the eye.
“I’m sure you’ll give it to me regardless.”
“Exactly. And the truth hurts. But he
re’s how I see it. You backed off way too soon. You know Tennessee’s past. You know what she’s pushing up against. If you had of stood your ground instead of running away, she would eventually see that she has nothing to fear with you. That’s all she wants—the confidence that you’re strong enough to stay standing…for her, regardless of what she throws at you out of fear.”
With that, any remaining pride Hayden had left was swept away. Stripped bare.
He felt exposed.
Maybe that was a good thing, though. Maybe he had to do away with his pride and put himself in a vulnerable position. Maybe, behind all this defensiveness, deep down he was scared too. Scared of being vulnerable again.
But he was starting to see that being vulnerable wasn’t a weakness but a courageous position to be in. Because from that state, he could take risks without the fear of falling flat on his face. He could be himself. And that’s what Tennessee needed most.
His relationship with Mandy was over. Today solidified that more than any other moment. It was time for him to shift away from his old mindset. Move forward from his mistakes and embrace who he was now. Stronger, Wiser. But, mostly, be ready. Ready to start fresh.
“I shouldn’t have run away.”
Bear shook his head. “You shouldn’t have.”
He winced. “I really hope I haven’t blown this. She could hate me for bailing on her.”
“Give her the night to sleep on it. Then see how she feels once everyone has left and the stress of this singles event has died down.”
Bear was right. He’d sleep on it. And during that time, it would give him the opportunity to figure out how the hell he was going to make things better between him and Tennessee.
Chapter 13
Mid-morning, Christmas Eve, the last of Tennessee’s guests checked-out. She slumped back into her chair and sighed. A hangover headache throbbed at her temples, but tension eased from her shoulders and neck muscles now that her singles event was over.
Going by the surveys her guests filled out this morning, it had been a success, and this filled her with a strong sense of accomplishment. Though, without Hayden’s help in the planning stages, it may not have been as great as it was.
One Hot Christmas (Mercy Island Series Book 2) Page 7
