He wouldn’t let himself empty into her mouth, though, instead rolling her over again as he draped himself back over her. Maggie lifted her legs to either side of his hips. Delight and pleasure rolled through her as what she had been longing for for so very long came to fruition. Jonathon’s body was hard in her arms, his eyes lit with delight as he gazed down at her.
He thrust gently at first, getting her used to his size. Soon, though, she was begging for more and he gave it to her. He kissed her neck, suckled her breast, roved his hands over her body. She felt like the most precious diamond to ever exist. She had never felt so connected, so as one, with another person. And she knew at that moment, there would never be anybody else for her.
She belonged to Jonathon. Mind, heart, body, and soul. There was a reason why she didn’t feel anything drinking from Mike. And that reason was that Jonathon was her mate. There would never be anybody else for her.
They finished at almost exactly the same time. Everything tightened and exploded. Jonathon kissed her.
And as soon as it was over, the rapture she was expecting failed her. Instead, she saw a growing doubt and horror in the eyes she loved so much. Jonathon withdrew from her slowly whispered something she couldn’t hear over the blood in her ears as he turned his back.
What was happening?
Maggie reached out for him, her best friend, when the awful truth came crashing down on her. What she had thought she had seen before… it wasn’t real. Jonathon hadn’t just been talking about her when he said that these feelings were just because of vampirism. He was talking about himself.
She lay there, that awful truth filling her blood with ice. He only wanted to do that because she had drunk from him. And now that they had… I’ve ruined everything.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think… I’m so sorry.”
What more could she say? She had ruined everything. Put him through something he never should have been through. All she could do was bury her face and try not to sob aloud.
***
Shit. Shit. Shit. You blockhead! What did you think was going to happen?
Jonathon clenched his hands tightly, trying not to burst out in anger at himself. As soon as he had finished inside of Maggie, he knew it had been a mistake. How could he believe her assurances that she wanted this when she had just drunk from him? They both knew what drinking like that did to them. He should have looked beyond his own desires at that moment for what she would really want.
He stared at the blank wall, feeling her shiver behind him. What he wanted to do now was to roll over, to apologize, to reassure her he’d never do it again. But that wasn’t good enough. He should never have done it in the first place. What he’d done… it was taking advantage of her in the worst way! What sort of man did that make him?
“Jonathon?” her voice was small, hurt and ashamed.
He flinched to hear it. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
What did she have to be sorry about? “No, I am. I’m sorry. I… I guess I just lost control of myself. I…”
What words could he say to make this better? There were none. It was over. Their friendship, their relationship. When they got out of this—if they got out of this—he knew what would happen next. She would turn on her heel and run far, far away. And for good reason. He wanted to punch himself in the face.
What had he been thinking?
Silence fell over them for a moment as he struggled to know what to say. Eventually, he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Are you?”
“Yeah.”
He sat up, careful not to look at her naked body. He didn’t have to violate her privacy any more than he already had. He held his breath to stop from cursing himself as he retrieved both their clothes. She had pulled the blanket up around herself and hid her face in the pillow by the time he was done. Careful not to touch her, he laid her clothes on the bed before dressing himself. Then he kept his back turned until Maggie, too, was dressed.
Her nose was red with the tell-tale signs of tears when he did finally dare to look at her. A well of shame rose in him, and he stepped toward the locked door. “Maybe we can bust outta here.”
“Jonathon.”
He turned to her, reluctant to see the accusation in her eyes but knowing she deserved that much at least. To his surprise, there was only shame in her gaze. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she spread her hands wide.
“I don’t know what to say. Is this the end of…”
He flinched. Slowly, Jonathon sat down next to her. “I don’t want it to be. I meant it when I said you’re the most important person in my life, other than my children. I know this is going to be awkward and I know it’s not…” Not right. Not moral. That I just took advantage of you. He flinched again. “I don’t know. I think… I think that’s up to you.”
Her brow furrowed. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
She stared at him for so long that he longed to be able to just read her mind. Normally it was so easy to know what she was thinking but here, now… He didn’t have the first clue as to what was on her mind.
“All the girls you would go out for one-night stands with,” she said slowly, her gaze locked on his, “do you think you might have gotten any of them pregnant?”
“Naw. It’s only when I’m in a relationship that I get sloppy.”
Maggie bent her head. “We didn’t use any protection,” she mumbled, fresh tears now.
Jonathon’s heart seized. They hadn’t. And normally that wouldn’t be a problem, not with a vampire involved. Vampires had to drink from their partners fairly regularly to produce children. But Maggie had been drinking his blood for so long now… He swallowed thickly. “If you do end up pregnant, I will support any choice you make, and I will be there in whatever capacity you want.”
“Why do you have so many one-night stands?” She looked up again. “Clarissa, for instance. How can you feel anything for them when you just met them?”
“I don’t.” He flushed, not wanting to admit that it had taken imagining her for the last few years to get anywhere with any of the women he went to hotel rooms with. “I don’t need an emotional connection. Not like you.”
Maggie sighed heavily. “But don’t you ever want to just have one person to come home to every night?”
Guilt swamped him. “That person was always you.”
But for how much longer? How could she forgive him for this? How could he forgive himself?
Maggie stared at her hands, picking at her cuticles. “But it’s not going to be the same now, is it? I never wanted things to change between us, I wanted to be best friends forever. I feel like I’ve fucked everything up now.”
“It’s not your fault.” It’s mine.
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes.” He put his hand over hers and was relieved when she neither flinched nor pulled away. “It’s not your fault. It’s because—”
“Don’t say it’s because I’m a vampire.”
Her words surprised him, but he wasn’t going to argue with her. Maybe it was too soon for this conversation. They were both in shock over what happened. And of course, Maggie wasn’t going to want to push him away. They were still prisoners—how had he forgotten that? These bears were holding them prisoner. His fires nearly doused as he thought that there might even be cameras. It made him furious to think that someone could have been watching that.
He tried to put those thoughts aside, though. Right now, his attention needed to be on Maggie, to help her the best he could. Try to make up for this colossal fuck-up he’d just done.
“Did… did you manage to keep the map?” he mumbled.
“No. I tried to, but they took it from me.”
Jonathon repressed a curse.
Maggie wrapped her arms around herself and turned to him. “I don’t want to talk about that, though. I want to talk about something I’ve been wondering for a long time.
If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. You can tell me to shut up and I will. Okay? Because I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable than you already are.”
Why was she asking him about his comfort when he was the one who just took advantage of her? That guilt grew even more leaden. He didn’t deserve her. He never had.
“You can ask me anything,” he assured her.
Maggie nodded, though she looked uncertain. “I know that you’ve been with a lot of women. So, what I want to know is… is… well… have you ever had a threesome?”
Jonathon’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Have you? Two women at the same time? Is that something that you fantasize about? You’ve mentioned it a few times, but I could never tell if you were being serious or not.” Her words came out in a rush. Her cheeks turned cherry-red. And her eyes were earnest.
But she couldn’t be serious, could she? No, she must be trying to get back to their normal teasing with each other. Strange subject matter, but Maggie didn’t always say things the way she wanted to.
“Well… I had an opportunity once,” he admitted, “but they were sisters and I thought that was pretty icky.”
Maggie’s eyes widened. “Really? Sisters? That is… yeah, that’s pretty gross. Why would anybody want to watch their own sibling do something like that?”
“That’s what I thought,” Jonathon replied, relieved that the tension in her shoulders was easing. “I was so grossed out that I didn’t even think about saying yes. That was the only opportunity I’ve had. I have thought about it, though. I think everybody has. And not just having two women. I’ve thought about what it’d be like to share a woman with another man.”
“Oh?”
Jonathon nodded. “I decided pretty quickly I didn’t like that thought at all. Penises kind of disgust me.”
Maggie barked out a laugh.
“Well, except my own.” Jonathon smiled a tentative smile at her. If she was laughing it had to mean she wasn’t too traumatized right? “What about you? Have you had any threesomes?”
Her smile faded. “Hugh tried to get me into one, once. Told me that I was just being a prude when I said no. He slept with the girl anyway. I never told you that.”
Jonathon repressed a snarl. He never liked Hugh. He was always pressuring Maggie to have sex with him and never giving her anything in return. That was one boyfriend of hers that he drove off that he held no regrets about getting rid of. Of course, Maggie didn’t know what he had done. God… if she found out about that, coupled with what they had done here?
Fear made his throat close up. He was going to lose her. Why had he been such an idiot?
“I’m really tired,” she said, the light extinguished in her eyes. “But I can sit up for a while longer since you’ve been hurt.”
Oh. Right. His head and shoulder felt much better. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I’m fine. Sex helps shifters heal faster.”
She bit her lip as she touched his shoulder. “So, it was good for you?”
“I…”
Maggie withdrew. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Jonathon moved off the bed. The blankets were rumpled. Of course, they were. He looked at the locked door. “Go ahead and sleep. You need it.”
As she laid down, he found a good spot against the wall to lean and folded his arms. He stared hard at the door, wondering who was on the other side and what they wanted. The alpha of this bear clan wanted Maggie specifically. Was it a coincidence that they were so close to the cure for vampirism? Maybe the alpha wanted to experiment on her…
Which brought up the question. If this cure could turn a vampire into a human, did it mean it could turn a shifter human, too? Genetically, shifters and vampires were very similar to each other. If it affected one of them, it might affect both. Could that be why these bears were stationed here? To stop anybody from finding it and using it against the paranormal population?
Well, whatever the reason the alpha had them brought here, he’d find out sooner or later. In the meantime, he would watch over Maggie. And hope that when she woke, she wouldn’t hate him.
Chapter Eight
Maggie didn’t sleep. She did doze a little, but her mind was far too preoccupied with what she had just done to do anything besides that. She didn’t know what to say to Jonathon. How could he not blame her for what happened? She knew that he didn’t have any interest in her and yet she pushed when he was all hopped up on vampire pheromones. She wouldn’t blame him for hating her. And he was being so gentle with her still… she didn’t deserve it.
It was almost a relief when the bears came back because it meant she had something else to focus on. Jonathon walked close to her, glaring at the bears that surrounded them. So protective of her, even now. What had she ever done to deserve a friend like him? Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her but now? Now seemed like the worst time.
They were taken to the penthouse, a huge, luxurious condo that made Maggie’s jaw drop. Everything was shiny and new, with fresh paint and new carpets. It was all so amazing that she forgot why they were there for an instant.
Standing in the middle of the room was a tall, muscular man. He wore a three-piece suit, with a blood-red tie. His hair was neatly brushed to one side and a grin was on his face. Maggie’s eyes widened at the sight of him.
“Josh?” she stopped where she was.
His grin widened. “Maggie. It’s been quite a while.”
“Yeah,” Maggie replied breathlessly. She stared at him, uncertain of what to say now.
Josh had been her boyfriend when she was seventeen years old. They’d dated for quite a while and he’d revealed himself as an alpha’s son just before he left her. Just disappeared and never called or contacted her again. She’d heard about his father’s death and how he had become the alpha. The timing hadn’t been a coincidence—she had been certain it was the reason he left her. Because he didn’t want his children to be half-human. He was alpha and no longer needed or wanted her.
“I told you I was the son of an alpha.” Josh spread his arms wide. “Now this is all mine. Bet you wished you had kept me now, don’t you?”
Maggie’s jaw clenched. He was the one who had left her! But she refused to give in to her anger. Instead, she asked, while Jonathon growled beside her, “What do you want, Josh? Why did you kidnap us?”
“It’s an alpha’s business when a vampire wanders onto his territory.” Josh gestured for them to come in.
Maggie reluctantly moved into the living room, where she sat on the couch. Jonathon perched beside her, eyes sharp. The smell of smoke rose into the air, and she had to elbow him in the side to stop him from glowering at Josh.
“I was surprised when I looked at the surveillance and saw that it was you,” Josh continued. He poured a rich amber liquid from a crystal decanter into two glasses and handed her one. He glanced at Jonathon, sneered and drank from his own glass. “So what happened? I never thought you’d be one to turn into a vampire, Mags. You always had such zeal for life.”
“It wasn’t my choice,” Maggie snapped. She glared at the drink in her hand as Jonathon shifted uncomfortably next to her. “I was badly injured. I would have died if I hadn’t been turned. The vampire who did it, he didn’t have a choice either. He was saving my life.”
After a beat of silence, Josh spoke again. “I’m sorry to hear that. I knew I shouldn’t have left you. I should have been there to protect you. If I had, this never would have happened.”
Jonathon sprang to his feet, a cry of fury in his throat. Maggie seized his wrist and yanked him back down. The last thing she wanted right now was for him to get into a fight with Josh. They had always been fighting when she was with Josh. Out of all her boyfriends, Maggie hadn’t seen Jonathon hate anybody like he did Josh. At the time it had torn her up, thinking she had to pick one of them.
Of course, if it had come to that, the choice would have been obvious. Jonathon. It was a
lways Jonathon for her.
Now, she glared at Josh. If he was going to start babbling regrets, she wasn’t going to let him get away with it. “You wouldn’t have. You were never there for me, Josh. Never when I needed you. Why would you have been there at that time? No. If we’d still been together, nothing would have changed. I’d still be a vampire. Because you never did a damn thing for me.”
Josh’s eyes widened. His jaw dropped.
Jonathon relaxed a smidge, and he let out a soft chortle.
“Now you know I’m a vampire,” Maggie continued, “but you also know that I’ve only recently been turned. I’m not associated with any vampire kingdoms or anything like that. And, technically, what you’re doing is illegal. Territory of individual clans isn’t recognized by the government and forbidding vampire entry is also—”
“Hey, hey, hey.” Josh rose his hands and narrowed his eyes at her. “I never said anything about forbidding you. And as for being kidnapped… I’ll have words with my second. You were meant to be politely invited.”
Maggie snorted. She didn’t believe that for a hot second. Josh had always had a power trip. If she hadn’t been so absorbed in him when she was seventeen, wanting to escape her terrible home life, she would have seen that. Luckily, she had been able to see just what he was with the benefit of space and hindsight.
“This land is sacred to our clan,” Josh continued. “I just wanted to know what you were doing here. We’ve had some problems with the local vampire kingdom of late. We’re in a big fight with the government to stop them from taking our land. So what are you doing here? And this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the map rubbing they’d made. “This island is forbidden. We patrol the waters and ensure nobody sets foot there. So what are you wanting with it?”
Maggie hesitated. How much did she say to him? How much dare she tell him? She glanced at Jonathon, and he shook his head minutely. Maggie swallowed and shrugged. “We were just looking for—”
“Don’t lie to me.” Josh’s voice contained a growl that made her flinch.
Paranormal Friends with Benefits Page 9
