I should have come sooner… Kuja shook his head. No. He would have killed me.
I would never hurt you, Sandsa cut into his mind.
Kuja snorted. You have already managed that.
The desert god lobbed a paternal frown at Kuja. The expression would have fit well on the Ine’s face. ‘You feel older. And your mind is not as, well, bright as it was.’
‘I am five years older, if you forgot,’ Kuja reminded him with an impatient toss of his head.
‘Then my son is five years old,’ Sandsa said.
Something twanged in Kuja’s heart. The anger that had been clenching the organ, forcing it into a rapid, erratic pace, suddenly dissipated. Kuja reached across and rested his hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘Sandsa, if you can’t sense your son, then Fayay can’t either. Kieran is safe.’
‘But I can’t…I can’t find him…’ Sandsa whispered. A mournful wind howled on the bare sands. ‘And I fear that Fayay will find him first and hurt him — or turn him into a weapon.’
‘You can defeat Fayay, you have before,’ Kuja said firmly.
‘But if he twists my son’s mind…’ Grief clouded Sandsa’s bright eyes. ‘Kuja, you know how powerful my son is. He could very well kill me.’
Kuja squeezed his shoulder. ‘Fayay won’t bother your son so long as you rule the deserts and Kieran never discovers his powers. That was the deal, remember?’
Sandsa’s chapped lips grated together. ‘Yes. Strange that he would offer such a kindness to me.’
‘I always wondered if Callista…’ Kuja trailed off, then moistened his mouth, strengthening his voice. ‘We don’t know if she said anything to Fayay but…Sandsa, she would have done anything to keep your son safe. To give him a life free from the Ine’s interference.’
‘You are saying that she made that deal with Fayay…’ Sandsa muttered, his forehead scrunching as he thought it over. Then his gaze snapped back onto his brother. ‘Kuja, why are you really here? I sense more is troubling you than my current situation. And that is no business of yours.’
Kuja crossed his arms. ‘It is my business. You’re my favourite brother.’
‘Who you clearly forced into human form not out of concern for me, but so that you could have someone to talk to. I can feel your worry and your guilt.’
‘I am concerned about you!’ Kuja exclaimed.
Sandsa raised an eyebrow. ‘Have you fallen in love, Kuja?’
‘What — no!’ Kuja winced when he heard his own braying laugh. ‘It’s nothing serious, nothing that would invoke the wrath of Father or Fayay — I promise! She just…she deserves a bit of happiness, a bit of pleasure. And only Bagara can give it to her.’
Sandsa’s sigh hissed over his lips. ‘Kuja. If you want permission to pursue her, I can’t give it. All I can tell you is that you should not abandon your rainforests the way I did the deserts. My people needed me. And I let them down.’
Kuja cast his eyes over the barren landscape, so different from the rainforests he loved, and said, ‘Mortals don’t need invisible deities to help them make their own decisions. I’ve seen religion make people wonder if there is something wrong with them simply because they have questions and doubts. The mortals might technically have free will but their fear of displeasing their Creator God, or any other god, is constricting them.’
‘Guidance is not the same as outright interference,’ Sandsa reminded him. ‘Stop changing the subject. Who is this woman I see in your thoughts?’
‘It’s not like that. I just want to look after her, the way the Ine failed to.’
‘So you are not trembling because you are afraid of feeling more for her,’ Sandsa said dryly.
Kuja shot him an annoyed look. ‘No, listen. She has been abandoned by both her father and her former lover because they decided that inserting chips into their temples and gaining a few fancy powers was more important than her.’
‘Chippers,’ Sandsa snarled. He’d never had much love for them, especially since they used tech to reach the Ine, someone Sandsa despised. The Desine had also tangled with some of GLEA’s agents when he had been involved with the gangs on Yalsa 5.
‘Yes, Chippers,’ Kuja said, nodding. ‘So of course Fei — Feiscina — has got the impression that she’s not important, because her god has taken everyone from her and won’t just speak to her and tell her she deserves happiness. She feels so guilty about her crisis of faith — she still thinks she owes the Ine her loyalty, even if it makes her miserable, and that’s just awful!’
‘Don’t help this woman because you are angry about what was done to me,’ Sandsa warned him. The carpet of sand above them was slowly parting, letting sunlight streak across their skin, and Kuja was glad, because it was a sign that his brother really was emerging from his dark thoughts. ‘She isn’t even one of your followers.’
‘You told me once that the Ine’s design has casualties,’ Kuja said firmly. ‘I want to help the casualties. I want to be the god that gives hope to those who have been spurned by the deities forced upon them by their families and their societies.’
‘Just what has this woman been saying to you?’ Sandsa asked, his thoughts even more incredulous than his voice.
‘Enough to know that I have to change how I deal with mortals.’ Kuja wet his lips. ‘And anyway, I’m not in love with her. I’m just going to have sex with her.’
Sandsa stared at him. ‘Sex? Is that all this Fei is worth to you?’
‘All she wants is to have a bit of fun and Finara doesn’t seem to have any trouble — ’
‘Hold on. I’ll read it from your memories so we can avoid that blush of yours.’
‘I do not…’ Kuja winced, feeling his cheeks grow warm. ‘Fine. So I blush. Easily. I think it’s the hair that makes it so obvious. Do you know that Mother once told me of an Old Earth myth that says I have no soul because my hair is this colour? How backwards the mortals once were.’
‘Hush, Kuja. You are distracting me.’ Sandsa’s expression cleared. ‘Well, I don’t see anything wrong with our sister’s approach, given that there have been no repercussions. She has not abandoned her duties in her pursuit of…fun.’
‘What was sex like for you?’ Kuja asked.
Sandsa’s lips twitched then reluctantly curled upwards. ‘It was a uniting of souls, far beyond any physical sensations. Callista and I didn’t have sex. We made love.’
Kuja captured his brother’s smile in his mind, preserving it forever. He knew it wouldn’t last — already night was stealing across the desert, erasing the twinkle that had briefly nestled in Sandsa’s eyes.
‘Sex was something that came after love for me, Kuja,’ Sandsa said quietly. ‘But I have seen into enough hearts and minds to know that is not always the case. Enjoy yourself, while you can.’
‘While I can?’ Kuja echoed.
Sandsa studied him closely. ‘I can sense you standing at the edge of a cliff, brother. You will need to step away at some point or that woman will push you to your death.’
‘The warning is thoughtful,’ Kuja said, getting to his feet. His brother rose with him. ‘But it is unnecessary. All Fei needs is a small spark of happiness and the knowledge that someone desires her, both of which I can give her, and then she will be out of my life. Father has not created her with the intention of teaching me some lesson. I’m sure of it.’
Kuja gasped, winded, when Sandsa abruptly gathered him into a crushing embrace. The Rforine blinked back tears, his heart threatening to outgrow his ribcage. His brother had not hugged him in years.
‘Sandsa…’ he whispered.
‘I am here for you, Kuja, in whatever form you require,’ Sandsa said, his words underscored with rust.
Kuja swallowed. ‘Please assume human form when I’m not here. Just sometimes. Please.’
‘I cannot promise this.’
‘I know. But please try.’
Moments later, Kuja held nothing more a cascading lump of sand. Sandsa was gone. The Rforine stepped b
ack from where his brother had stood, head bowed. He couldn’t force Sandsa to maintain a form that had caused him so much pain. For someone who had lived as long as the Desine, the loss of his family might as well have happened yesterday.
Kuja vowed never to forget that.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘It’s so loud! Is it always so loud?’ Fei shouted at him from beside the waterfall.
Kuja chuckled as he jumped over several water-slicked rocks to reach Fei’s side. ‘Yes! What did you expect?’
She scrunched up her face for a moment, then said, ‘The ocean outside my apartment on Enoc makes annoying shhh-shhh sounds. I’m relieved this waterfall doesn’t do that. But I didn’t think sound was important enough to factor into my simulations, though I’m starting to reconsider this, because some plants get violent when they hear loud noises and I don’t think our clients would be too happy if I put those species near waterfalls!’
Kuja smiled at her, enjoying the sound of her voice as it accurately translated her thoughts. The past few days had been wonderful — he had spent every spare hour with her, spreading his presence across several different worlds while staying physically by her side. He was finding it easier to split his focus, though it did give him a decidedly glazed look which Fei had occasionally made fun of. He didn’t mind; he loved seeing her laugh so easily. Her memories of her former lover were now haunting her much less and her mind was full of images of Kuja instead. She was looking forward to taking him to bed, something she saw as the perfect addition to an already perfect holiday.
Kuja had worried for a while that he wouldn’t be able to please her, because he was sure his body would fail to perform as it had in the Enocian Harem, but he had decided it didn’t matter. He had learned how to pleasure a woman and it thrilled him to think of giving Fei his complete attention without asking for anything in return. She deserved that and more.
Fei leapt away from him, onto another rock, then shrieked as she slipped sideways. A vine swiftly whipped out from beneath her feet and wrapped around her hand. Fei’s arm went taut and she jerked to a stop, suspended above the water. She hung there for several seconds, stunned, before reeling herself back in. She mused out loud that she must have snagged the vine on her way down, though she wasn’t sure how.
Kuja shot a severe scowl at the vine responsible. Stop that! She is not one of mine and might never be. And I do not want her noticing anything unusual. Do you understand me?
We understand that you wanted to see her get wet, the vine responded in a coy voice that made Kuja’s tongue feel as slimy as the seaweed that populated many of Fayay’s worlds.
I did not, he snapped.
You enjoyed seeing the other one wet.
Kuja cleared his throat noisily and held out his hand to Fei. She accepted his touch, allowing him to lead her towards a less slippery side of the pool of water gathering beneath the falls. Kuja took a moment to admire his companion. Fei’s hair was ruby red today and dusted with droplets of moisture. Her clothes were as bright and impractical as ever, but at least this time she was wearing sturdy closed-in shoes. She’d borrowed them from one of the TerraCorp scientists.
‘I like it out here,’ Fei said, seating herself on a soft blanket of moss that Kuja knew hadn’t been there a handful of minutes ago. He barely refrained from berating this plant as well. ‘There’s no line of code that needs fixing, no temple or agent in sight, no one to hear me going on like this. Well, except you. But you don’t seem to mind.’
Kuja sat beside her, tilting back with his hands braced behind him. ‘I don’t mind. At all. You can keep going if you like.’
She didn’t need to be told twice. Kuja tried to focus on her words, but thanks to the scurrilous vine over by the waterfall he was now trying — and failing — not to envision what Fei might look like wet and without clothing.
We could have a look…and show you what we see… a withered, thin root offered as it crept over from Fei’s left, intent on winding its way up into her shirt.
‘Kuja, are you thinking about me naked?’ Fei asked bluntly. ‘Because I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re doing. I mean, I’ve started going on about how loud the waterfall is again and you can’t be looking that interested about it.’
‘Yes,’ Kuja said, his gaze snapping back to hers. ‘I am thinking about you naked. And wet.’
Fei blinked. ‘Oh.’
He quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘Is that a problem?’
‘No.’ Her lips began curling upwards. ‘What about kissing me? Because I’d like that. So…are you? Thinking about kissing me, I mean.’
Kuja leaned over and stamped a hand over the root, setting it back into the ground. Now much closer to Fei and able to feel her warm breath on his face, he found he didn’t want to relinquish this new position. ‘Not right now.’
‘Oh,’ Fei said again, looking away from him.
His heart constricted. She sounded so defeated.
‘Fei, your company is the best I could have asked for — you’re talkative, alive and keen on sharing everything,’ Kuja told her softly. ‘My mouth on yours would only silence you and, besides which, I’m not a very good kisser.’
The gap between Fei’s lips grew and shrank several times. ‘But…what if I end up saying something you don’t like? I feel like…like I’m always wrong. My boss talks over me and the other Creator God worshippers seem to think I shouldn’t have any doubts — or at least keep those doubts to myself. I guess I should just find another religion,’ she finished in a mutter.
‘You don’t strike me as someone who’s able to accept something you can’t question and look into,’ Kuja noted, regretfully easing himself out of her personal space. ‘No matter what belief system you end up adopting, you’ll still investigate and find its secrets, just like you did with GLEA and TerraCorp. You can’t help yourself, Fei.’ He smirked. ‘Bagara should be very afraid of you. But if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll answer every question you have. And if you find him wanting, he’d better find a way to appease you or he’s not worth your time.’
Fei snorted, then slapped a hand over her nose. Some of her laughter still managed to leak out between her fingers. ‘Oh my God, you’re right, I have to find those secrets wherever I go. I can’t not do it. Why are you so right — about everything?’
‘I’m older and more experienced,’ Kuja said with a wink.
‘Then you should be a better kisser by now!’ Fei told him.
She laughed even harder and fell backwards onto the moss, causing her loose teal shirt to ride up her navel. Kuja found himself staring, almost wishing the root would return to nudge the cotton fabric a little higher. As if somehow reading his mind, Fei curled her fingers around the edge of her shirt and gave him a grin that made something unfurl low inside his abdomen. She then boldly reefed up the shirt and shoved her rainbow-streaked bra band down, revealing breasts that would have out-sized his hands if he’d tried to hold them. A bead of moisture was sliding down from the peak of one dark nipple and Kuja imagined his mouth engulfing it — along with as much of her breast as possible.
The desire to taste her chased every reasonable thought from his head.
Fei snapped the bra band back into place and dropped her shirt. Her eyes danced and her lips began forming shapes that only served to distract him further. It took Kuja precious seconds to realise she was saying something.
‘Still want to hear me talk?’ she challenged.
Kuja cleared his throat. ‘Oh yes. Especially when I lick my way up to one of your nipples. I imagine you’d say some pretty interesting things then.’
Fei started giggling, a hand pressed to her abdomen. ‘I’ve thought about licking my way up something too.’
Kuja glanced at his shirt, then back up at her.
‘Not what I meant,’ she said, smirking.
He looked further down, to his pants, which were suddenly feeling a lot more constrictive. Kuja sighed inwardly. Much as he’d like Fei to touch him an
d sate his growing frustration, he was sure it wouldn’t work. And this wasn’t supposed to be about his pleasure — it was meant to be about hers.
Kuja shrugged casually. ‘I do have some experience with that. It feels very nice. But I’d much rather lick you.’
‘I’m definitely going to schedule some time for that later,’ Fei said, then her eyes widened. ‘I didn’t mean to say that. You really shouldn’t encourage me to blurt out whatever pops into my head.’
‘Why not?’ he asked.
Fei bit her lip, frowning slightly.‘You know what, I can’t remember. So!’ She sat up straight and clapped her hands together. ‘Can we talk more about Bagara? You promised we would.’
‘We’ve covered most of it already,’ Kuja said after a brief hesitation.
‘Well, it would give us something to talk about, not to mention something to distract you from those thoughts filling your head.’ Fei waved a hand at him when he opened his mouth to object. ‘They’re written all over your face, Kuja! It’s impossible to feel undesirable around you. I like that.’
Kuja’s lips twitched. She grinned wickedly at him in response. Strangely, around her, he never felt undesirable either — and not just physically. Lorena had never been interested in seriously conversing with him, only in making him uncomfortable.
‘Last time we spoke about this we agreed that Bagara could interfere a little more,’ Kuja remarked. ‘So instead of speaking to people en masse and restricting his speeches to a festival when only his followers are listening, he should also give his voice to those who are in their darkest, most vulnerable moments. It would help immensely for them to have someone to talk to, someone who offers no judgement, someone who simply…listens. No matter their religious preference. No matter what they can or cannot give in return.’
While he’d been speaking, he had rested his hand on Fei’s thigh, rubbing his thumb along the line formed by the stitching on her soft cotton pants. Her hand now fell on top of his, stilling his fingers.
The Twisted Vine Page 9
