What the fuck was the matter with me?
Once I got to the office, the other kids and I were quickly ushered into the principal’s private office. He stood, paler than usual, three police officers with him.
“All of you are going to speak to the police right now. If I find out which one of you did this, you’re going to wish you’d never been born.”
I sucked in a breath. What? They couldn’t think that I’d do this. “Mr… Mr. Hancock I didn’t have anything to do with this.”
All the kids started talking, but they really needed to believe me. “Why would you think that? I didn’t do this. I…” Did the adults in this room really think that I could have committed murder?
He pointed his finger, talking directly to me. “No one knows where you were yesterday afternoon. And we all know how troubled you are.”
My temper flared. “I couldn’t physically have done that.”
“Anger gives people strength.”
“I’m five feet tall!” I yelled. “And I’d never do this! Never!” I was losing control fast. “No matter what you think of me, I’m not a murderer.” The principal and police officers stood unmoved. “I’m not.”
“For those of you underage,” he glared at me like it was my fault I was still seventeen, “your parents have been notified. They’ll meet you at the police station. The rest of you can call when you get there.”
“My one phone call.” Abel scoffed. I glanced at the tall, thin boy who was as disliked as I was. His words were heated, but he was pale, and a sheen of sweat had broken out along his forehead. He was scared.
So was I.
They herded us through the hall to the waiting police van. The busses were idling at the curb, and a moment after we left the building, the dismissal bell rang.
I got into the van last and had time to see the students stream from the building. None of them had bags, and they all loaded onto busses.
Even those who I knew had cars got on the bus.
Except for the four of us.
Those half-shudders I’d been experiencing turned into full body shakes. I pushed my hands under my thighs in an attempt to hide them. The last thing I needed to do was let the police know I was nervous.
Or scared shitless.
Just before one of the deputies shut the back doors, a car stopped across the street. Dark hair, dark eyes. I squinted to make out the figure.
Oliver?
There was a line of cars behind him. They’d stopped traffic to let in the emergency vehicles, and there he was.
A witness to my shame.
The drive to the station was silent. My teeth started chattering halfway there. At least I thought it was halfway. There were no windows in the back. I needed to get myself together, but my body was not in agreement with my mind.
The van stopped abruptly, and since there were no belts, I flew forward, smacking into Taryn.
“Fuck!” the girl said, pushing me off of her. I nailed the side of my face against her knee, right in the same spot Gran had smacked me last night.
“Sorry.” Not that I had any control over it, but Taryn didn’t care, if the daggers she was shooting my way were anything to go by.
The back doors opened, and we tumbled out of the van, blinking at the bright desert sun. My nerves had my stomach clenching. Please don’t let me puke. Please don’t let me puke.
Everything seemed to narrow and focus as we were led through the doors and into separate rooms. I didn’t see deputies or dispatchers. I didn’t study the walls around me. I just put one foot in front of the other and swallowed the bile sitting at the back of my throat.
“Have a seat,” someone told me as they opened a door.
Mindlessly, I walked inside the room and sat in the hard-plastic chair. It was freezing in here, and I drew my knees to my chest, resting my cheek on them. I don’t know how long I stayed like that. The clock on the wall ticked, the coffee maker gurgled, and sounds of people in the hallway drifted toward me. Some people shouted, others laughed. A phone rang. My heart pounded so loudly, I couldn’t stand it.
I bent over, putting my head between my legs. Gran wasn’t going to come, and if she did, it would be a disaster. She’d either hit me in front of the cops, or she’d tell them to arrest me. Or, just as likely, she might think I actually did this. My gran might actually think I did this.
The door opened. I recognized Colton’s uncle, one of the police detectives in town. He walked in, and I stared up at him. “Why don’t you leave town? Do you know there are roughly one to three million teenagers living on the streets of the United States? I never thought I’d say this to a kid in my life, but you would be so much better off if you got out of this town and just lived on the fucking streets.”
My mouth fell open. What on God’s green Earth was I supposed to say to that? He turned his back, sparing me having to come up with a retort I wasn’t sure I had anyway. “You didn’t do this. None of you kids possibly could have. Some kind of weird animal thing. I don’t know why or how they could possibly think otherwise. Get out of here, and for God’s sake, Lacey, get the fuck out of this town.”
I scurried from the room, my chair screeching backward when I did. If he was letting me go, this meant Gran was here. I had a million other questions but asked none of them. No, my survival instincts were telling me to run, and that was what I was going to do.
I made it outside before I saw Colton leaning on his car. He stood up straight upon seeing me. “Lacey,” he called out. “Fuck. Good. He got to you. I called my uncle.”
I swallowed and tried not to cry. Much to my horror, a stream of tears escaped my eyes. I wiped them away. “Sorry. They thought I… they thought that I…”
He nodded. “I know. Lacey. It’s a nightmare.” Colton put his arm around my shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get the fuck out of here. I’ll take you home.”
“I don’t want to go home.” I’d never said anything so true in my life. “And I can’t let you make fun of me anymore.”
He sighed. “I wasn’t making fun of you, ever. But yes, okay. Wherever you want to go.”
I was tired, sad, and overwhelmed, and I’d use that as an excuse for letting him open the door for me and urge me into the passenger’s seat if anyone asked.
Leaning back against the seat, I tracked Colton as he jogged around the front of the car and got inside.
“I wasn’t making fun of you, Lacey. I promise.” He started the car and drove, glancing at his mirror like he expected someone to be following us. “I never would.”
He cast a quick glance my way before looking back at the road. I studied his profile, trying to find the Colton I’d known as a child within the handsome, tight-jawed guy who was with me now. His dark hair was longer. He never let it get long, and I’d always wondered why.
It lay in perfect c-shaped curls over his head. Gleaming in the light, I wanted to reach over and touch it to see if it would wrap around my fingers like a ring. He hadn’t shaved in a while, and his scruff had gone from designer-looking to almost-beard.
A muscle in his cheek twitched. “Why don’t you take a picture?”
He didn’t seriously just say that. “I would if I had my phone,” I sassed right back.
His cheek swelled from what I knew was a smile. Glancing over at me, his gaze raked my face and landed near my eye. Immediately, the smile disappeared, and the muscles around his eyes tightened. “What happened to you?”
“Gran,” I said. He and Thorn knew what kind of people my family were. It wasn’t the same as it was with Aaron and Oliver. Colton knew full well how low the Madisons could sink.
“She drinking again?”
“She’s never not been drinking,” I replied. We were silent for a moment, but Colton’s jaw flexed like he wanted to speak. I decided to go first. “I don’t know what strings you had to pull, but thank you.” My tears had dried on my face, leaving the skin tight and gritty-feeling. “I’d be on my way to county right now, if you hadn’t i
ntervened.”
He just nodded. “Yes, you would. Isolated and alone. That’s the goal.”
His words reminded me of what his uncle had said. “You make it sound like there’s this huge conspiracy surrounding me. But if people want me to leave that badly, I’ll be happy to go. Just as soon as I get my diploma.”
“You might not have that much time,” Colton said. “Everything is escalating. The janitor was targeted specifically.”
Word traveled fast in this town. “He was a good man,” I said, thinking of the small kindnesses he’d done me over the years. “He didn’t deserve that. But your uncle said it was an animal. Animals don’t do things on purpose. If it got stuck inside, then it got scared.” The words sounded hollow and disingenuous. I’d seen his weird pose, and I hadn’t missed how Colton had said that he was targeted. “Animals don’t target.”
He tilted his head. “You know I’m trying not to say things that will make you upset.” He turned the corner, and I realized we were heading to his house. “But I wish you remembered that night for many reasons. I know you were really close to Thorn most of the time we were growing up. I was his friend, so we knew each other casually, but there were things that happened that weren’t casual. And I wish you could remember so that when you looked at me, it was like you had that night.”
I stared at him with absolutely no idea what to say. “Colton… I… Are we heading to your house? Honestly, I can’t take your mother right now. I’m not a slut. I’ve never been one, and after the beating I took last night over leaving with you guys from school, I can’t take another berating today.”
He side-eyed me. “My parents aren’t home and won’t be until tomorrow. They went to see a family friend get married. It’s fine.” He paused and then went on, “Nothing to say about what I said earlier?”
I leaned back in my seat. “Okay. I’ll play along. Let’s say there is some big part of my life, some entire day I don’t really remember. If I did, what would I be feeling about you right now?”
“Well, you would know that you liked me.” His cheeks above the beard line reddened a little bit. “Not just Thorn. That you liked both of us, and that you and I connected. That you trusted me, and that I… I kissed you a lot, and you enjoyed that, too.”
My heart rate kicked up. “I know that I liked you, Colton. The whole female population of our age group liked you. And some of the male, too. You’re gorgeous. Funny. Athletic. Trust me, I’m not unaware of your charms.”
He shook his head, pulling into his driveway. “Not like that. Not just like some kind of crush that happens with not knowing me. You and I clicked. You did with Thorn, also. That’s fine. Somehow, it was fine that it was the three of us.” He stopped the car, turning it off. “And I’m not making fun of you, so don’t start that again. Let’s go inside and relax.”
I didn’t have any of those memories he talked about. Particularly the kissing part. But I didn’t mind going inside with him, and that should have set off all my warning bells. I was utterly safe with Colton, and his dimple and big blue eyes. He had come for me today.
“I owe you one.”
He smiled as he got out of the car and ran around it to open my door. “No, you don’t.” He took my hand in his, and for a second, I stared at our linked fingers. His story must have been getting to me, because I was filled with the sensation that we’d done this before. “I’m sorry you were alone last night to handle your grandmother. I’m not sure what the right answer is there. It’s better for you not to be alone right now.”
I let him lead me inside. “I wasn’t alone. Aaron, my neighbor who came to the car yesterday, he was there. Stayed the night to make sure I was okay.”
Colton skidded to a stop. “Pardon?”
I was so tripped up on the word pardon, that I paused longer than I meant to. I studied him. Everyone says blue eyes can be icy, but not with Colton. When he was mad, his eyes were like blue flames. I didn’t think it was possible for his features to get tighter, but they had, and I seriously worried he was going to have a stroke because his face was so red. “You need to breathe.”
“I need to—” He sucked his lower lip into his mouth. His beard covered a deep dimple in his chin, and I wanted to push my finger into it, like just, boop! But I didn’t think he’d appreciate it. “You’re telling me to breathe after informing me some random guy spent the night in your house.”
I knew I was capable of attitude. Sass was a subject I excelled in. But the words, oh, no he didn’t, passed through my brain with enough anger that I literally saw red for a moment. “You don’t get to judge me.”
“I’m not judging you!” he yelled. He approached me, and reflexively, I took a step back away from the tall, angry guy invading my space. “I’m pissed! I’m pissed at this whole bullshit mess. It should have been me! I’d just gotten a handle on Thorn—I’m okay with it—not being the center of your universe, but now it’s neither of us.” He seemed to realize I stood with my back against the door of his house and deflated. “Now it’s neither of us, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.”
Eight
His blue eyes were glassy, and for a moment, I was certain he was on the edge of tears. “Colton—” I reached for him, touching his arm and wrapping my fingers around it. “Talk to me. Be honest.”
“I’ve tried,” he said, sounding defeated.
“Try harder,” I replied.
He peered up at me and scoffed. “Let’s go inside. As much as I love having screaming matches on my doorstep—”
I cut him off. “If you’re going to be with me, get used to fights in the front yard. It’s what Madisons do.” Oh, shit. I hadn’t meant to say that. “I mean, hang around with me. Not be with me.”
His entire demeanor changed. He moved past me, unlocked his door, and opened it. Then, staring down with a smile that could have disintegrated my pants and my good intentions, he waited for me to go inside.
I’d never been inside Colton’s house before. This side of our town was for families who would have screamed in horror at the idea of me playing with their children.
Our town was one of dichotomies. There were the families like Colton’s and Thorn’s, who had a level of wealth I couldn’t comprehend. They were the ranch owners. The spa owners. The lawyers, architects, and politicians.
And then there was my side of town. We were the workers. We were the people who made the beds at the ranches and picked up the garbage at the spas.
Actually, that wasn’t us, not my family.
Those were good, hard-working people. My family just mooched off the system. Gran owned her house, and Christopher drew disability after a “work accident.” Even in my head, I had to put quotes around the phrase. Falling off a ladder because you’d just huffed paint didn’t seem like a legit workers comp claim, but what did I know?
Colton led me to the living room and set down his car keys in a bowl on the table. I stared at that bowl. It had zebras on the outside of it, and it was filled with keys. Someone had placed that bowl there specifically for the purpose of putting keys in it. He lived in a world where such a bowl existed.
“Hungry?” he asked me, his hands on his hips.
I shook my head, turning my attention away from the zebras. “No, thank you. I’m never very hungry after getting smacked across the face and later arrested. It takes a few days for my stomach to recover.”
He winced. “Oh, Lacey. I wish I had been there.”
I shrugged. “There wasn’t much you could have done. I made Aaron hide under the bed. I have to survive this, Colton. Whatever is going on here, I need you to understand that. You can make up as many stories about monsters as you want. I live with a real life, human version of one. I have to make it till I’m eighteen and graduated.”
He leaned against the wall. “I’d never have stayed under the bed.”
“Then you couldn’t have been there. Like I said, I have to make it.”
Colton stepped away from his spot.
“Then you’ll go north. All the way north. Until you’ve seen everything north of here, and then you’ll go east or west until you’ve seen everything there.”
I blinked. Those were my own words he used on me. My heart sped up. “How did you know that?”
Colton stood right in front of me. “You told me. A few times that night. And I made you promise you’d take me with you. And you said that Thorn and I could alternate who sat next to you on the buses, and we said, no, we’d take the car. And then you told us,” he whispered in my ear. It sent shivers of warmth through my body. “That you had permanent shotgun.”
That sounded like me. That was the most that I could think right then. That absolutely sounded like something I would say.
I blinked rapidly, not sure if I wanted to rage, or I wanted to weep. Sometimes there wasn’t much of a difference. “You didn’t make fun of me?”
“Not ever.” He smoothed my hair off my forehead. “Lacey, I’d never make fun of you.”
I stared up at his blue eyes. They weren’t biting at all now. I wished I could sink into their depths. “Tell me about that night.”
He shook his head. “Let’s go sit down. It’s a sitting down conversation.”
I followed him to the couch. It was leather. He stretched out on it, like it was the most natural thing in the world to prop his shoes on the couch. I sat straight, afraid to lean back on the cushions. Gran could never afford this couch, not on her social security or my cousin’s checks.
This couch probably cost more than her car.
“Well?” I asked.
He got serious. Leaning forward, he dropped his feet to the ground and put his elbows on his knees. “It took a long time for us to figure it out.”
“To figure out what happened?” I found myself mirroring his posture.
He met my gaze from under long, black lashes. “Yeah. We regained consciousness a hundred miles east. The car was pulled over, out of gas, and we were just staring out the windshield.”
Eyes in the Darkness (The Coveted) Page 6
