All the girls gasped in shock, but Aurora’s eyes showed something different, something that she’d been hoping for—the chance to fight with me. I’d given her what she wanted and she flew back at me. She’d been goading me so she could publicly put me in my place. The problem was, she’d underestimated what she’d taken on.
The group spilled wide apart and before I knew what was happening, I was on top of her, letting go of a lot of pent up frustrations. It was one thing taking a punishment beating from my brother. I couldn’t fight him off, but this girl I could take, and she was going to feel the force of my suppressed aggressive side.
The girls quickly started to squeal, but not one risked getting close or attempted to pull me off her. Very soon, I forgot all about not marking her. I wanted her hurt in the worst possible way. No one should poke fun at people’s virginity, and what kind of sick person did it because they were too much of a slut to get the guy they wanted? My brother called me horrible names and acted like he believed I was a slut, but this girl, Aurora Reynolds, was a true definition of the word. The sound of her crying and begging me to stop slapping her was hollow and echoed in my ears. My palm quickly became sore from the constant slaps, and just as I grabbed hold of the sides of her head, intent on smashing her skull into the ground, I was finally pulled off her. I kicked and screamed to get back to the bitch on the ground, but the arms around my waist were too strong.
“Hey, stop. Stop! You’re okay. It’s me.” I recognized Topher’s voice in my ear as I was panting for air like I’d run a marathon. Tears matching Aurora’s now streaked down my own face. As her friends gathered round her and helped her up, the fog started to lift. The entire school hallway had stopped to watch, and storming from one end in our direction was my homeroom teacher.
“Take Aurora to the nurse,” she demanded.
“Miss Livingston, come with me.” The sternness in her voice had me shaking. School was my safe place. It was where I came to get away from this kind of behavior. I found myself rooted to the ground, unable to move as my teacher pivoted on the spot, expecting me to follow her.
“Come on, Ginny.” Topher, who still had hold of me, urged me to follow. When I made it inside the classroom, I stood near the door, waiting to flee if things turned really ugly, but still unable to let go of him. Right now, he was my safety blanket.
“Topher, you can leave.”
“No!” I shouted, and for an instant the look on my teacher’s face mellowed with pity.
“Okay, but you know the rules. We don’t tolerate violence of any kind on school grounds. I’ll have to report this to the principle.”
“I’m pretty sure they started it, Miss,” Topher told her. “I mean this is Ginny. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“What I saw was pretty much the opposite of that. We’ll get to the bottom of what’s happened. First, though, I think it’s best if you go home and calm down. I’ll call your mom.”
“No!” I barked for the second time, finally letting go of Topher and stepping forward. Calling home would be very bad. I had to get this under control. School was my only escape and it was slipping through my fingertips. “My mother is sick in bed.”
Once again, she looked concerned. The school weren’t stupid and suspected how I had grown up. Everything about me screamed classic abused child. I was sure it was only because I kept my grades up that they didn’t get involved.
“Ginny, you cannot stay on school grounds. It’s policy after an altercation like this. We’ll need to investigate what happened but what I saw was an extreme level of violence. You were out of control.”
“Please, don’t disturb my momma. I’ll walk home,” I whispered, accepting of my punishment.
“I’ll take her,” Topher offered, and I didn’t know what scared me more. There was no way on earth, even with my brother at work, that I could let Topher take me home. Him being at the house would be very bad.
“Do that now while I go and sort out Aurora.” She stood up and went to the door. With her hand still on the handle, she turned back to me. “I can’t tell you how disappointing this is. Violence is never the answer, and this is so out of character. If there are extenuating circumstances, then please tell me.” She waited patiently, almost pleading with me to trust her and let her in on what could possibly have sent me so feral, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell her my momma was so sick she’d given up on life and that my brother made my life a living hell. I couldn’t confide that he was using our barn as a drug house and I’d be sent to jail to if anyone found out.
I let her request hang in the air until she conceded that she was going to get no more from me. I was never going to open up to her and pour my heart out. “As you wish.”
“Come on,” Topher said, offering me his hand.
“You can’t take me home,” I muttered.
“Not taking you home. You look like you need a change of scenery.” He offered me his hand again and, trusting him, I put my hand in his and followed him.
“Where are we?”
We’d arrived at a huge house in the suburbs somewhere. It was so big it was behind automated gates. “My house. My parents won’t be home for a while.”
I bristled immediately.
“Relax, I’m a friend, remember. You were the one who friend zoned me.” He smiled.
“I shouldn’t be here. I’ll be in heaps of trouble for just being here.”
“And how will anyone know?” he asked, smiling. “I’ll have you back at school ready for the bus.”
“But you’re missing class.”
“I think I can catch up,” he remarked, and climbed out of the car, waiting for me to follow. “And if I get behind, I know a smart girl who can help me.”
We wandered inside a house that was so different from my own I could have been on a movie set. It was bright, full of more furniture and technology than any family could ever make full use of. There were TVs in every room, speakers in the corners of ceilings, elaborate light fittings and gadgets in the kitchen that could probably direct and land a satellite back to earth if programmed.
“Drink?”
“Water, please.”
“Is that it?” He led me to a high stool on the opposite side of the kitchen bench he was putting glasses on. “I have lemonade, soda pop, juice?”
“Water’s fine.”
I expected Topher to head to the big shiny tap and fill the glass in his hand, but he didn’t. He offered the glass into a rectangular cut-out in the front of a refrigerator bigger than the cold store pantry we had at home. He pressed one button and two ice cubes dropped, then pressed another and a steady stream of water followed. “Come on, let’s sit outside, get some fresh air. Thanks to your never before seen violent nature we may as well make the most of this unexpected free afternoon.”
I flinched at his words even though I knew he was joking. I didn’t know what was going to happen with school after my meltdown, but I couldn’t have the school poking around at home. With the recent criminal development in Edward’s nature, it would really send him over the edge. I imagined Topher thought my punishment would be grounding or loss of allowance. What he didn’t realize was that it would probably result in me being beaten black and blue.
My body blindly followed his as he made his way outside, and when I saw what the gardens looked like I wondered if I’d been transported to a holiday hotel by the beach. The pool was traditionally rectangular, with crystal clear, sparkling water. Next to it was outside furniture including sun loungers. Off to the right was an outside bar area with a full grill. The grounds themselves were stunning and clearly maintained by someone who loved plants. Topher headed for a sun lounger and placed our drinks on the table between two of them. I stood still while he got comfy. “Are you going to sit down?”
“Sit. Yes. Of course,” I told him, jumping out of my reverie and flopping my butt down.
He leaned forward and handed me my iced water as I rearranged myself so I didn’t look rigid and unc
omfortable. I rarely had time to sit out in the sun and chill out, and after a couple of minutes, I began to relax in the sunshine just as he’d predicted we would.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Hmm?”
“How worried do I need to be about you at home? Your brother looks like a scary motherfucker.”
I snapped sharply out of my daze. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s fine. I’m fine. I just…” I looked around at where I was, where I was sitting. “You wouldn’t understand. I just need to keep my grades up, stay out of trouble and get through school.” I closed my eyes and turned my face to the sun, I couldn’t look at him while he decided whether to push me or not. The truth was that I needed to get away from home now more than ever.
The life that Topher came from was completely different. His standards and expectations for the future were completely different. I didn’t think he’d ever understand how it felt to only half sleep so you could react if you needed to. Or hear your momma cough until she couldn’t breathe and then cry herself to sleep because she missed your daddy so much.
I’d never let anyone in before, and I couldn’t do it now. I’d reacted to the situation with Aurora badly and I was going to pay severely for it.
“I’m sorry Aurora did that because of me,” he said, and this time I did turn to look at him.
“You’re only responsible for your own actions. This is on her.”
“I see more than the mouse the girls think you are, and I don’t mean your inner UFC chick.” I could hear the smile in his voice before he turned serious. “Someday, you’ll find your place in life and that place will be better for you being there.” Lord above, he was so kind. No one in my world was that kind, and to stop the tears from falling, I shut my eyes and turned my head back to the sky. “Now, just relax.”
The only problem was, we did. Way too much.
I did as he asked, and my brain quickly stopped thinking about Edward and his many moods. It happily blocked out what Tommy had done to me, and the thoughts of the stuff stashed in our barn were floating away on clouds in the sky like all the other worries I had.
We both woke up a couple of hours later and according to the time on my watch, it was thirty minutes past school ending, which meant I’d missed my bus.
Gigi
This was bad.
I was literally out of other options, which meant Topher had to drive me home.
“Can’t you drive any quicker?” If he didn’t put his foot down, I was in danger of arriving at the same time as Edward and that was just unthinkable. I had to block it out. I shuddered every time I realized it was a real possibility, and anxiously bounced in the seat next to him. My nerves were on overload, threatening to pull me under as I watched minute after minute tick over on the clock in Topher’s BMW.
I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack and knew of no way to ease the pressure in my head.
“Sure I can.” I breathed easier. “If I want a ticket.” Then I was back to hyperventilating. “And I definitely could if I wanted to lose my license. If I had the car from Men in Black with that shift stick red button thing, then no problem.”
“I don’t know what that means. I haven’t seen Men in Black!” I wailed. Normally, I would have hidden such things, but I was beyond caring and it was becoming harder and harder to contain my freak out.
“Of course you haven’t,” he mumbled and looked at me awkwardly. “If you want, I’ll just explain to your brother that—”
“That I’m what? Not in school where I am supposed to be and had to leave because I got in a fight. He’ll freak! Or that I’m out with you, someone I’m not supposed to be with, whose house I’ve been to and fallen asleep at. I’m not even supposed to leave school grounds.” I tugged at my hair with the stress. “I’m in so much trouble.”
“Yeah, good point. I’ll just drop you near your house?”
“Yes! That could work.” I felt bad for blurting that out and putting pressure on him, but as awful as it sounded, my own worry and fear beat being kind to his feelings in that moment.
Topher turned down the dirt track about a mile and half from our house, and I was out of the car and running before it had fully rolled to a stop. “Wait! You can’t walk from here,” he shouted out of the window. I heard the car stop and the door open.
“Topher, please, get back in your car. You need to leave. I’m in heaps of trouble as it is. I can run the rest of the way. Please, I’m begging you. Do this for me?”
He looked at me, his mind at odds over what to do, but ultimately, he didn’t want a run-in with my brother any more than I did. After a few seconds he sensed how bad this could get and understood that leaving me to sort this on my own was the most sensible option, which was good because I was fast running out of time and debating it wasn’t an option. I had to get moving.
“Ginny? Shit! Wait! You forgot-” he shouted at my back.
I didn’t even remember to thank him for the afternoon. I could only hope that with how understanding he was, he’d get why I was so terrified. This could go one of two ways. God could come through for once and keep me safe, or he could continue to ignore my prayers and reaffirm just how right I was to be disappointed in the whole faith thing.
I raced down the lane, acknowledging once again that I hated sports and promising that if I got away with this and Edward never found out, I’d take up jogging and learn to love it. It could turn out to be a winning decision. In order to be able to flee in times of crisis, you had to put in the effort so your body was capable of delivering when you needed it the most. The sun was low in the sky as the wind whipped the trees up into a frenzy, beckoning me forward. I pushed myself so hard I could have easily just stopped and vomited with exhaustion. Three quarters of a mile from home, the sound of tires on the gravel dirt caused my heart rate to rocket. Much more of this and my heart would expire.
A flash of red metal swung dangerously close to my body and anchored on the brakes in front of me.
It was Edward’s car.
I was done for.
“What the fuck are you doing out here? You’ve got some explaining to do.”
I bent forward, put my hands on my knees and tried to drag in as much oxygen as possible. My brain began to flip and spin quickly in an effort to come up with something plausible.
“Field trip,” I wheezed.
“You should be in the house.” He seemed more agitated than normal.
“Sorry,” I panted. “I had a field trip and the bus back was a little late.”
Edward went from zero to angry really quick and as he started to stalk towards me. I saw the frustration I was used to, flash across his face. “I’ve got shit going on at the house and you’re fucking it up again, Ginny.”
I was utterly useless at lying and knew I’d dug myself into a deeper hole. The only thing to do now was appease him by apologizing. “I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry won’t fucking fix it. I thought I told you to keep him away from the fucking house.”
Now I was really confused. “Fix what, and who?”
“Get in the car, Ginny.” As I opened the passenger door, I saw my backpack lying in wait for me.
My hands shook as I reached out to move it, wondering how in the hell he had it.
“See, I met your fuck buddy at the end of the lane. He had your backpack and was debating on whether to bring it to the house for you.” I felt the blood drain from my face. “Obviously I wasn’t clear enough when we spoke about him before, and now you’re lying about him, which tells me one thing. You’re fucking him, you lying whore!” He was behind me on my side of the car with super human speed, and whispered in my face with menace, “Have a nice day spreading your legs, did you?”
I didn’t answer; there was no point. I opted for silence and decided to tough it out that way, but it was the wrong choice. I should have attempted to deny his accusations because trying to remain calm just made him madder. My eyes followed his
clenched fist before feeling it land in my stomach. “Just in case that fuckwit has planted a bastard inside you. Might as well help it outta you. Already told you, I ain’t raising a whore’s kid.” Edward hit me so hard that I fell to the ground and found it hard to pull any smidgen of oxygen into my lungs. My eyes were watering with tears. “I can fucking smell him on you.”
“No,” I wheezed out. “I promise.”
“Whore promises ain’t worth shit. Just ask that whore at home.” He bent down and grabbed me by the hair. I didn’t want to move my hands from my stomach but the pain in my scalp was excruciating. When I felt my body jerk, I knew he was pulling me off the side of the road. My butt and thighs bumped over the gravel and hardcore until I got to my feet and stumbled along with his pace. “Please, Edward, stop!”
He took me ten feet into the woods and threw me at the ground where I curled into a ball on instinct. “Stop protesting your innocence unless you fancy provin’ to me that your cunt ain’t full of that jerk-off’s juices.”
That was the one thing I was desperate to avoid.
I would do anything and take any beating to avoid that. I’d take a million beatings over and over again, until the blood drained from my lifeless body, before I gave him an excuse to touch me there.
“I thought so. Fucking whore.” With my hands cowering around my head, I didn’t see his boot coming at me. It hurt worse than any other pain I’d endured so far and there was a level of ferocity to it that made me mumble in prayer, desperate for the God who had always deserted me to wake the hell up and help me. I didn’t understand why he continued to ignore me but overlooked Edwards’s actions. “Don’t fucking come home tonight,” he spat at me.
“What?”
“You heard me, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of my way.” I uncurled myself, ignoring the pain and instinct to stay in my protective ball. I needed to look at his face because I couldn’t believe he was actually throwing me out of the house for the night. Instead, all I saw was my backpack come flying through the sky in my direction and land on the ground next to me.
Gigi: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 5
