I turned to leave, only to be stopped by Wolf. “Gears,” he called gently over my shoulder, keeping me in place because he knew I was two seconds from walking straight out the compound gates and never looking back.
I could do that.
I could take Ella and get on the move again.
I would do that.
It would kill me, but if I had no right, no claim on Gears anymore, I would have to accept it. And I would accept it, away from here, far away from this place.
“Fuck.” I heard Gears sigh.
“It’s okay.” I didn’t look up at him. I couldn’t. I didn’t need to see the regret in his eyes. “I knew this was a possibility. I’ll… I’ll—”
“Don’t fucking move,” he growled.
“Fucking asshole,” the sexy as sin girl cried before pushing at his chest, enough to send him rocking back. Then I heard her heels heading in the opposite direction.
“Sorry, brother, I turned my back for like thirty seconds, thought Angel had her covered.”
Gears appeared by my side. “It’s on me, not you, brother.”
I was still looking at the floor through a film of tears when his black boots stepped toe to toe with my feet. “It’s not what you think.”
“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I get… you and her. She seems like a good fit for you. I wish you’d told me. I wouldn’t have made things difficult for you.”
“Come again?” He sounded pissed off.
“You know. The biker thing. She’s sexy and beautiful, and she obviously cares for you. I just wish you’d have told me you were in the middle of something.” I expected him to say something back, but he didn’t. Instead, he reached around me and picked me up until I was flush against his front and my legs were wrapped around his middle. “Gears!” My body ached at the memory of being in this very position with him.
“Shut it. I’m pissed and have a feeling you’re gonna say something really stupid that’s only gonna piss me off more.”
He stalked further across the yard and kept me glued to his front, even when he had to maneuver us through a door and climb the stairs. When he opened the door to the same room he had back when he was a prospect and kicked it shut, I knew he was mad, but he still didn’t put me down. He pushed me up against the wall until I had no choice but to pay attention.
“I wasn’t a virgin when you met me, Gigi, and I haven’t been a fucking choirboy while you’ve been gone. But it’s always been you. I don’t expect you to give me a blow by blow of what you’ve been up to. In fact, I never want to think about you blowing anyone but me, but I’m not fucking stupid.”
“Gears, wait. It’s okay.”
“Yeah it is. Life doesn’t stop. My life didn’t stop, but I wasn’t living it. I was just existing, and what you saw then was me trying to put a bow on something I seriously fucked up. Marnie and I had different ideas about where we were heading. She wanted more and I didn’t. Ever.”
“Is it over?” I voiced the question I prayed I knew the answer to.
“For me, absolutely. It’s a fucking asshole thing to say, but for me it was never anything more than a regular hook up. It was just sex.”
“For her?”
“Honestly, I ignored the signs and that’s on me. I fucked up and now Marnie’s hurting,” he confirmed again. “But I need you to hear me when I tell you I’m right where I wanna be, right where I need to be and that’s with you. I’ll make it right with her. She’ll understand, but doubt you’ll be invited on shopping trips with her bitches anytime soon.”
“I hate shopping anyway,” I whispered in reply.
I felt like a complete bitch, but I didn’t want him to make it right with her. I didn’t want her in his life and I certainly didn’t need a reminder of the person he’d turned to while I wasn’t part of his life.
“Baby…” He kissed me. “It’s always been you. You’ve ruined me, and just because Marnie screams biker babe, it doesn’t mean she’s this biker’s babe. That’s your spot. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Let me hear the words.”
“I don’t want you to make it right with her,” I blurted out, causing his brow to furrow. “I can accept the life you led when I wasn’t here, but I don’t want you to be friends with it. I don’t know if I could handle that.”
“You jealous?” He smirked.
“Yes. Very. I already hate her, and I have no reason to apart from the very real fact that she… touched you when I couldn’t.”
“Fuck.” He groaned and then kissed me roughly. “You claiming me, Gigi?”
“Can’t claim what’s already yours,” I whispered.
This time, when Gears kissed me, his whole body got involved. I was still in his arms against the wall and I could feel his dick hard between us. “Never thought I’d get to feel you again.”
“I know and that’s my fault.” I ran my fingers through his hair and grabbed a fistful before pushing his stubbly face into my neck where he licked and sucked until I was squirming against his body. “Need to feel you, Gears.”
“Oh, baby, you’re gonna feel me.”
With his hands under my ass, he spun us around, put a knee to the bed and fell onto it with me still underneath him. In a frenzy, he removed my boots and jeans while I tugged at his cut and top, desperate to see his skin.
“You got more ink?” I breathed when my eyes finally fell upon his sculpted torso.
“I did.”
“What is this?” I asked, following the script on his pec with my finger.
“Not now, I’m hard as fuck.”
Gears pulled my top and bra off and then looked at my chest. “You got ink?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“Fuck, I love that on you.” He ran his fingers over the very detailed, very beautiful replica of the Arabic nazar evil eye necklace his mother had given me for my eighteenth birthday. Looking into his eyes, I knew it held the same special memories for him as it did for me. “Now I’m really fucking hard. Gotta fuck you, baby.”
His words caused a spasm inside me and I wanted nothing more than for him to be inside me and intensify that. I undid his pants and gasped when he fell, all hard and heavy, into my palm. “What happened to that boy I used to love?”
“The boy became a man.”
I let my legs fall open as soon as we were both naked and as he got back to kissing me, I felt his fingers, a lot rougher and definitely thicker than a decade ago, push inside me. “Yes!”
“You like that?”
“Uh… oh… yeah. More.”
“This kind of more?” he asked as he stopped and fed his dick inside me inch by thick inch.
“Ohhhh, yeah. That kind of more.”
Gears finally filled me, and the lump of emotion in my throat was so huge it was threatening to suffocate me. “Look at me, Gigi.”
I looked at him as he reached for my hand and placed it over his heart. Its thumping was as wild as my own.
“This. This right here never stopped beating for you. It’s yours. I won’t let you leave me again, Gigi. If you have to run, then tell me and we’ll run. We will run together. Hear me when I tell you if you try to leave without me again, I will hunt every corner of this fucking earth until I find you. I’m not going to mention it again. I want no more apologies. It’s done. We’re moving on together now, okay?”
That big lump of emotion I struggled to breathe around materialized in watery form and fell from my eyelids. “Okay.”
As soon as the word cleared my lips, Gears started to move, and feeling him inside me, all grown up, was nothing short of magnificent. Griffin Geary had once been my everything and having him back in that same position in my life was indescribable.
“Fuck, missed this,” he groaned, speeding up, making sure I was taking him as deep as possible with every stroke.
When I started to moan with him, I could see he was holding on with everything inside him until I came first. Knowing he was doing that caused the spasm to
return and multiply until I’d released years of missed feelings and sexual want with the only man I’d ever loved unconditionally, apart from my daddy.
“That’s it, baby,” he breathed in relief before stopping dead still, deep inside me, his neck and facial muscles balled up tight and his whole body jerking until I knew he was spent, too.
We stayed like that for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe before he moved off me. “We need to get a house and quick, baby.”
“Why?”
“You’re still a moaner and now we have young ears as well as Ma’s to protect.”
I burst out laughing, letting the freedom of it take me to that place of hope I’d avoided for so long because he’d just confirmed that not only did he want me, he wanted Ella, too.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Gears
Her body was covered in marks.
It wasn’t the first time her skin had been blemished and reddened, but it was the first time in a decade I’d caused it from active sex play.
Just looking at them, at her sleeping form in my bed got me hard again.
When we’d been together before, we’d been mere kids, pups, people on the cusp of discovering who we were and what we wanted. Because of this, I was so considerate, bordering shy. She was new and fresh to sexual relationships and I was all too aware of how she’d suffered at the hands of men before. I wasn’t comfortable with being even slightly rough with her, of taking her when I wanted and how I wanted.
Maybe some good had come from our time apart. I’d discovered the things I liked, and she’d grown and had time to understand the life she’d led before we separated.
Last night, though…
Fuck. Me.
It was no wonder she was still asleep. I’d kept her active until just a few hours ago and every time I tried to pull back and let her rest, she spurred me on again. She all but fucking attacked me.
And it was sensational.
She was sensational.
Her hips had always had the potential to be full and womanly. She was just under nourished before and even when my mom did start to feed her up, it took a while for the stress that held her metabolism hostage to let go. She’d had tits before, but now they were ripe and rounded with nipples that puckered the minute the tone of my voice suggested what I needed from her. Pulling that tight bud between my teeth set her off like a fucking rocket and had me scrambling to keep up with her. Imagining those fine tits, swollen with milk and getting ready to take care of our baby wasn’t a dream for the future. It was a fucking goal I’d stop at nothing to achieve. Gigi’s height hadn’t changed much, maybe an inch or two, but I was taller than a decade ago and at six foot four, I would dwarf her no matter how much she grew. That extra height made her fit me perfectly. When she was on her knees in front of me, I could work her until she begged me to make her come. When she was on top, riding the fuck out of my dick, her legs clasped my torso making my body her prisoner, and short of throwing her off—which was never going to happen—I was at her mercy.
We didn’t talk much about who she’d been with while we were apart. There was no way I could swallow, let alone digest that information, but whoever it was had never seen this side of her. She was nervous to start off, desperate for me to do things to her that she was still too shy to ask for. The parallels with the past were scarily uncanny.
I wasn’t her first, but I was the first she wanted it all with.
I wasn’t the only person she’d been with, but I was the one who taught her to feel safe enough to ask for what she needed.
If that wasn’t fucking fate, then I didn’t know what was.
If I had to drag this girl to Vegas and marry her then I would.
If I had to fuck her into oblivion until my seed had taken root inside her then I would.
I wanted Gigi Livingston tied to me in every possible way until she and the whole goddamn world around us understood that we were tied together because the universe commanded it.
“Baby,” I whispered, trailing a finger down her spine.
“Hmm.”
“I’ve got things to do. Need to get you home to Ella and Ma.”
“Hmm.”
I lowered the sheet that was doing a poor job of covering her naked form until it floated smoothly round and down her shapely ass.
“I’m hungry, baby. You don’t get up, I’m gonna have a different kind of breakfast.”
Her body shivered and the little hairs on her skin stood on end.
“You’re gonna be the death of me,” I mumbled, and spread her legs as wide as they would go before climbing in between them.
Fucking her with my tongue then fingers woke her up pretty quickly. And this time when her greedy cunt sucked my cock deep inside her, it did it bare, with no condom, and she didn’t stop me.
I was moving on with my plan and it seemed she was all in with it, too.
“Where are you going?” she asked when I shrugged my cut on.
“Got some stuff to take care of. Stay here with Ma, okay?”
Her eyes flashed concern. Whispering, she asked, “My shit?”
“No, baby. Our shit. There’s no need to worry. We’ve still got a man covering this place. Just make his job easier and stay fucking put.”
She was worried and there was nothing I could to do ease that for her. Her experience of the Hermanos had been the worst kind. She’d seen people she loved killed at their command and if I hung around long enough for her to ask questions then it would only make it worse for her. Gigi would undoubtedly ask questions I didn’t have the answers to. Like her, I was relying on someone else, someone with far more experience than me to resolve her issues.
Wolf.
I wandered over to Mom, who was making pancakes with Ella in the kitchen, and kissed her goodbye. Mom was so much more together these days. Getting her head around my dad fucking her over and then Gigi coming back had all the right things slotting into place for her. I had to make this work for all of us. It would kill more than just me if Gigi took off again. I had to make it safe for her to stay.
Stood there, watching Ella spoon batter into the pancake machine, I realized I could do this. She was part of our family unit and I was happy about it. It felt wrong not to show some affection to the girl who was part of the package deal that came with the woman I loved, so I stepped forward, put an arm around her shoulder and kissed the crown of her head. I knew Gigi was behind me somewhere watching, and I needed her to see my acceptance, too.
“Look after these two. I won’t be long. Don’t let Ma talk you into anything… nuts. You’re in charge.” I smiled.
Ella looked up at me and smiled the most genuine of smiles. One that told me she was happy, and she trusted me. “Nuts how?”
“Nuts like… digging out a swimming pool in the garden because you want one, or taking a hammer to the bathroom tiles because the color isn’t right.”
“Oh, Griffin, you’ve got that all wrong,” Mom chirped in dismissively. “The color wasn’t right when the sun shone through the window and instead of the pattern being eggshell blue, it looked more like mouldy cheese. I hate veined cheese. Give me a strong smoked sausage any day.”
I raised my eyebrows. Ella chuckled and Gigi snorted behind me.
“That doesn’t mean you try to hit the walls with a fucking sledgehammer. It was like watching Kathy Bates in Misery.”
“Oh nonsense, although it was heavier than I anticipated. It took the basin clean off the wall, Ella. And watch your mouth.”
I looked at Ella. “It did. So, instead of just calling a tiler to come and sort a few tiles out, she ended up needing a whole new bathroom suite, including flooring because the water pipe to the basin was destroyed with it.”
Ella was full on giggling and I could see that Mom was barely holding onto her mirth. I could also see Gigi leaning against the door frame, watching with an amused look on her face.
This was it.
This was the happy I’d been chasin
g since she’d left.
“So, Els, to reiterate, do not let Ma talk you into anything crazy.”
“On it, Griffin,” she chirped back.
“I see Ma got to you on the name front?”
“Kinda, but I just thought I’d try it out. Feels odd, gonna stick with Gears I think, Gran.”
We all froze at hearing Ella call my mom Gran.
“What?” Mom smiled, happy as a pig in shit. “I’ve got me a grandbaby and I’m too old to be a Glam-ma like Vix. Oh, let’s make shapes with the pancakes.” That was that and they were back to breakfast, like it was no biggie when it absolutely was.
Gigi walked me to the door and when she put her arms around me, I could feel the tension in her frame. “Don’t worry.”
“Hard not to.”
“I know, but try.”
I kissed her and knew she watched me as I walked down the drive. As I climbed on my bike, I heard, “Gears?” I looked back at her and the only indication that time had passed was that she was more beautiful than the last time I saw her stood in the exact same spot. “Mine,” she said loud enough for me to hear.
“Yours,” I replied with no hesitation whatsoever.
I expected it to be just Wolf and me who went to the meet, but when we rolled our bikes past the edge of the Sentinels’ land, JP appeared and fell into line behind us. I was floored that he was coming. Since he’d stepped down, he’d had no part in the politics of the MC. He was happy to leave that up to Wolf, the next generation as he called it, that and last time, the MC side had nearly cost him Angel. He roared up beside me, shouted, “Figured you’d rather Wave was here, but since he isn’t…” and then fell back. He didn’t need to finish that sentence. Wave was the one brother who had always had my back. He’d helped me become the man and brother I was, but more importantly he held me together when Gigi left. I’d never be able to repay him for the dedication he’d showed to me.
Knowing he was off doing a job for Wolf had me concerned. Wolf never asked people he didn’t trust to do things for him. If it was dangerous, I wouldn’t have hesitated to ride with him. He protected me and I did the same for him return. That was the way things were between us. He had no blood family here. He’d left them in California for reasons we never talked about, but no matter what, he’d had my back and someday I would find a way to have his.
Gigi: A Black Sentinels MC Novel Page 27
